Honey Syrup @honeycaat - Tumblr Blog

i should shut up on main i think

#rinahnote

melancholic-whimsy

so apparently that feeling of lethal nausea is called hunger

honeycaat

and the lethal nausea that follows eating? what do i call her?

let me rest in peace for fuck’s sake

#rinahnote

it is so nice that my friends think i am not a bad person because i treat them kindly and conscientiously but i wonder what they would think if they actually believed the truth that my kindness is the same as a smile that doesn’t reach the eyes… practiced and calculated out of habit and necessity. someone like me must be so rare because everyone i meet refuses to believe me about my inhumanity. what is so hard to believe? they ogle serial killers imprisoned for their crimes like some kind of mentally deficient zoo but find it so hard to believe there are others who do not have the means to reach the end?

#the world is NOT a better place with me in and it makes sure i know that #but i’m stronger than the others for better or worse and keep fighting #sure i live my life suffering but what can a coward like me do about it lmao #so instead i suffer in silence as a rare specimen of my kind because rhe universe decided it must hold me back

crazy how the thing that finally kicked my weight loss desperation was when i was shopping in japan and the clerks would look between me and my sister and immediately kindly remind me that everything is f size (one size fits all- small)

#it was kinda funny tbh #cause they weren’t trying to be rude #but they also clocked me as too big before they clocked me as foreigner so #it was one of the fee times someone would speak to me in japanese before i spoke to them confirming i could understand #anyways i hope i can reach my goal #there are so many cute clothes there i want to be able to wear!!!

minmos

#love this colouring

nasukichan

Hatsune Miku + Draculaura

Dracumiku

kiat-b-saguru

Part 1 of 2

Girls!

kiat-b-saguru

Part 2/2

Girls! Times2

hanavbara

doremi 🎼💖🎶 #おジャ魔女どれみ

sour-echinacea

i wonder what it feels like to be understood

#i know my friends try #but i am something that a normal person could never come close to understanding #the only one that could ever understand me is a mirror image of me

w0rst-to-ever-do-it

god how do people tolerate me irl im so fucking annoying jesus

vita-min-bunniii

i like to think that i am a can of worms you would not like to open

i ended up losing somewhere between 10 and 12 lbs in the last month with my diet but i’m not sure if i’m happy…. i was really hoping it would be more and i don’t know if i’ll reach my goal weight by my goal date but i am happy that i’m at least losing weight…

#idk im conflicted #i still need to lose 40-60 lbs #i only have two more months…

ceruleanheaven

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

#me indulging the lesser of two evils

thinking again about how despite my belief that my distasteful personality is a deterrent to other, many of the online friends i have made ended up confessing to me that they liked me romantically. i just don’t get it bc like what’s there to like about me? i know exactly what kind of person i am and it must be something different from what you’re seeing if you feel romantic feelings towards me

#actually baffling tbh #i dont have a personality that you can fall in love with #honestly i think these people put me on a pedestal or romanticise my actions #like they can ‘change’ me or that because i’m different with them they’re special (i’m nicer to my friends?? shocker!)#but most of all it’s uncomfortable for me #i will never have those feelings towards anyone and oeone having them towards me is uncomfortable #to me nothing good ever comes out of romantic feelings when im involved #so its just stressful and an accident waiting to happen

you created a monster and then abandoned it when you saw what you’d done but the monster is unburdened by the thing that terrifies you about it

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