A Whole Mess Of A Blog

Full time job as Hyunjae’s doormat 🤍Inbox is always open for those in need🤍 Follow as Joohoneylove

[honeyjaez]

About Me ヽ(•‿•)ノ

Hiya! If you are here reading this, then you’ve made the unfortunate decision to learn about the person behind this blog, and I must confess the person is just a mess as the blog she runs. But regardless she already loves you <3

───── ❝ 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 ❞ ─────

Sarah ❂ Aquarius/Pisces cusp ❂ ENFP Currently in my last semester of College (6 more weeks)

A few important things about my blog

Honeyjaez is overall a K-Pop blog. I will also post things that I deem important to me in regard to world issues. Unfortunately, this is a side blog as I learned far too late in the game that you cannot change your main blog and Honeyjaez quickly became more popular than my main blog, so I stuck with it. If you ever see me interact with a post under the name “Joohoneylove” just know that that is me. ❤ I make crappy gifs when I have the time and I sometimes open my box for writing requests.

  Secondly, this is a safe place for everyone in need. I do not tolerate bullying, rudeness, or just any overall horrible behavior. We do not insult, we do not slander, and we do not allow for hatred of any kind on this blog (besides the obvious sexual offenders, pedophiles, etc ). This goes for opinions too; I love different opinions on things but please do not be an asshole about it. You can state you opinion while not slandering other groups.

I’ve suffered most my life with depression and anxiety (and still do), so I have such a big heart for those of you in need of a friend. I know I can’t know exactly what you are feeling but I have ears, a heart, and an open inbox if you are having a bad time or bad feelings. You are never alone in this world, and if you have no one, you have me. I just ask for patience responding because of my work and school life.

Lastly, I am human, I make mistakes. I think back to some of my past mistakes here on this blog when I was ignorant and immature, and there were times I said or wrote something without thinking or understanding the feelings of others. I got my ass handed to me both times and chewed out by the right people. I learned very quickly and have since made it a mission to advocate kindness to everyone and education to others as well. That being said, if I ever post something you do not appreciate or I offend you in some matter, please inbox me and tell me. I learn everyday how to be a better human being and I appreciate people who might notice my carelessness when I might not.

With all that being said, I hope you enjoy the blog!

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Groups you'll see on this blog ⇊⇊⇊

Ultimate Groups (Groups you’ll see me post a lot of)

· Seventeen (ULT)

· Victon (ULT)

· ONF (ULT)

· The Boyz

· Monsta X

· Stray Kids

· SF9

· Ateez

· E’last

· Kingdom

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Other groups I really love but don’t post as much (mostly because I don’t follow enough blogs for them )

· A.C.E

· Astro

· B.A.P

· BTOB

· BTS

· CIX

· DAY6

· Dreamcatcher

· EXO

· Golden Child

· GOT7

· Infinite

· ITZY

· ONEUS

· Pentagon

· SHINee

· Treasure

· Nu’est

· TWICE

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Groups I am currently getting into/ want to get into/casual fan

· N Flying

· Verivery

· iKON

· AB6IX

· Wei

· NIOR

· Great Guys

· Fromis_9

· Weeekly

· Hoppipolla

I probably forgot some, but just know, I am a multi-fan through and through.

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Top Biases:

1. Joohoney (Monsta X) (ULT)

2. Hyunjae (The Boyz) (ULT)

3. MK (ONF)

4. Sejun (Victon)

5. Seungkwan (Seventeen)

That last part was probably unneeded but if you got to this point thank you for coming to my blog and I hope you have a positive experience here!

[honeyjaez]

Long time no post!

What’s happened since the last time I said anything on here….

Well the big one was Victon disbanding ( I know they are still a group in spirit but you know what I mean)

Yeah….that wrenched the heart for a good year. I truly don’t think I’ve been the same.

Errrr I finally got to see The Boyz in concert! I even got to say hi to Hyunjae!

Got a new job….no more night shifts for me.

I mean yeah. That’s about it. I don’t expect to post a lot but it still feels nice to say hi.

[heesbaby]

guys who is ur 'idol that no one is allowed to hate and i will defend with my whole life'? for me its soobin

[honeyjaez]

Boo mother fucking Seungkwan

[honeyjaez]

So in the year I took off from here I have returned to say I have absolutely become trash for TXT.

Like I need to learn more about them because I’m a simp for their music.

[honeyjaez]

JUN IN A MESH SHIRT IS MAKING ME GO FERAL

[honeyjaez]

T-the Dino Arms……

[honeyjaez]

Everytime I think Oneus cannot put out another title track that I love more than the last, I am severely mistaken.

[honeyjaez]

*Honeyjaez has left the chat*

[honeyjaez]

*Honeyjaez has left the chat*

[honeyjaez]

I’m trying to clean my room but I’m getting distracted why watching Omega x videos and learning more about them 🥴🫠

[honeyjaez]

Ngl. Yunho holds such a chokehold over my….jongho is hanging on by a THREAD

[ravntual-deactivated20221014]

dann // ascension (220410)

[honeyjaez]

On a more positive side note, I’ve been using the time spent bed ridden catching up on Going Seventeen (I haven’t watched any of 2021) and somehow I fell even more in love with Seveteen.

[honeyjaez]

Trigger warning: Suicide and deteriorated Mental health

I want to preface this post by saying at this current moment I am not in a good headspace, the last 6 months, my life has been divided by good and bad days and today is one of those days.

Some of you who know me somewhat or have followed me for a while might have noticed my extended hiatus from this app. I graduated college with the promise of bringing so much back to my page but was undelivered.

About 6 months ago, at the end of November, was diagnosed with an auto immune disease that had left me in incredible pain. At the beginning before I got medicine for it, the pain was so excruciating that I could hardly breathe. I was unable to leave my bed when the pain was at its worse and it was just non stop, day after day. Just living was painful.

I finally got on some form of medicine I take everyday for it at the beginning of the year and I thought life was going to start turning around. I took emergency leave of absence from work to allow time for the medicine to start working in my body. And for a while…it worked. I was still in pain, but the pain was diluted and instead of being agonizing, it was more of an annoyance. I thought I could live with this even if it was everyday.

But now that I’ve been on my medicine for a few months, I’m starting to feel worse again. Almost like the medicine I was so thankful for, suddenly stopped working. The pain is getting worse and worse and all I can do is lay back in bed and just try and think positive thoughts.

But it’s almost like a game of endurance. Whatever side can endure longer wins. And I’m terrified I’m on the losing spectrum. It’s not just physically now beating me, but mentally too. More times than I would like to admit, have I thought im better off just dead and trying over in the next life- especially in those early days.

I know I can’t. Honestly, and truthfully I’ve already tried once (long ago) and learned I am unable to follow through with it so that is what it is.

And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some great days, yesterday we got stray kids tickets which I was super happy for. And I’ve had other days where the pain is bearable and I’m able to live, but in my mid 20s dealing with this, I can’t help but think “if it’s this bad now, what will it be like when I’m 30? Or 40?” My doctor has already warned me I’m not gonna have an easy life with this and I’m honestly so scared. Scared of living the rest of my life with this pain that’s non stop. Scared I’ll eventually lose the battle….I’m just so tired of being in pain.

Funny enough, I had a great day too. I went and saw the Seventeen Power of Love movie with my best friend, which I loved. But now that I’m home, I can barely move from the pain and I’m just laying in bed trying not to think about it, but In trying to get my mind off of it, I keep thinking about it.

My mom has already told me I should start seeing a therapist for this, and I agree, but until I can get in I haven’t really had a healthy way to talk about my feelings, even now I’m realizing I’ve never even allowed myself to hug someone and just let myself cry. I’ve cried to my mother yes, but it’s always been on the phone.

And then I wrestle with the gaslighting on myself where I think “Sarah, stop talking about it, it’s not like you are dying, you don’t have cancer, your life isn’t as bad as others so stop making such a big deal out of it” I find myself scared to talk about it when I’m with my friends because I feel like that’s all I’ve done to them the last few months.

I guess my only saving Grace during this is the idea that everyday is a new day for me.

I honestly don’t know anymore. And truthfully I’m not sure why I posted this on here. I guess this was my way of journaling my thoughts like my mother told me to try.

But if anyone out there is also struggling, it may not be my situation exactly, but struggling regardless….you aren’t alone. We all have our battles we are fighting and just knowing there are others out there still hanging on, even if only by a thread like me, makes me feel like I can keep going.

I’m okay, I’m a few hours I feel better after this meltdown, it’s just right now I needed to say the words I said. Thank you and I’m sorry if I triggered anyone.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[honeyjaez]

WE GOT STRAY KIDS TICKETS. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

You guys. This is so huge. I’ve been with stray kids since their survival show. I missed out on their first world tour but now I get to finally see my children all live. 😭😭😭😭

I GET TO SEE MY SCORPIO SON LIVE

[honeyjaez]

I am not okay 😀

[honeyjaez]

Words cannot describe how obsessed I am with Handong’s black dress in Maison.

Like I keep watching it and all I can think is how good she looks in it 😩😩😩😩