archived.

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The Past

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His breathing slowed, attempting to take deep breaths as he placed a shaking hand weakly on Simon’s shoulder. “No… please do not leave me now.”. He took another deep, long breath, trying to calm himself.

“I just need you here. That’s all.”, he repeated in a whisper, trying to remember to breathe slowly. His hands shook, one of them tapping his finger on the desk. “I don’t need words I just need you.”, he muttered, violently wiping away the tears from his face.

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He stopped himself short, biting his lip.

“...Apologies, I was getting ahead of myself.” What was he thinking, spouting such... sentimental nonsense? He felt his face heat up, but quickly hid it with a cough. 

Lithe hands found their way onto his back, giving broad, sweeping strokes. He then took the other in his arms, resting his head on his bosom, heart murmuring beneath his ear. “Listen. Focus on the the beating of my heart... it shall relax you.”

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The Past

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He closed his eyes, lulling himself into security, running his fingers through Simon’s hair more, slowly, as he spoke quietly and told the next part of his story. “For a time… for that entire time, she and I were separate.”, he said, his voice strained and hurting.

“It was a good many years before I would see her again. During the time I was learning law, she was one man down and alone as far as survival went. Despite my many attempts to contact her, she refused to associate with a prosecutor. All that, just to protect my reputation. While I was totally unaware of her whereabouts, I finally found a job at the public office.”

“I received my first case, a murder. It was a long ordeal collecting evidence and testimony, and by the time it went to court, it’d been years since I’d seen my sister. But I was enthralled. At last, a chance to prove myself in court. I made my points clear and hard, and finally brought in our top suspect. A young woman came in in a dirty tan sweater with a faded red scarf on, her eyes weak and dead. She barely gave any testimony before she was convicted and charged. The court ruled in favour of the death penalty, and the culprit was put to death.”

Tears were streaming down his eyes as he curled his fingers into a fist and placed his fist over his heart, as if he wanted to punch it out of his body. “It was then that I decided to use my influence to look into my sister’s fate. She’d changed her name legally, and that was the last official record found of her until… until the trial.”

He was silent. His fist uncurled and he placed his fingers weakly around his neck, struggling for air. He felt not only uneasy, but as if he were going to faint at any second.

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Quickly, he sprung into action. 

“Listen to me, shh, I’m here, darling. I am here,” came the whispers, as he gave the other man some space, opening a window and waiting for the breeze to kick in before grasping his hand again, squeezing it tightly.

“Zacharias dearest. At ease, love,” he murmured, voice as sweet as his words. Seldom did he express heartfelt emotions, but this was a good time as any to finally reach out. He... was making up for it now. He pressed a kiss to a brow, right below the scar etched on the other’s face. “Shall I bring you a glass of water? Just wait a moment--”

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“Though my baking skills have yet to be honed properly, my ability to create flower crowns is still intact.”

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“I was not aware you had talents in flower making. Color me impressed.” He smirked, folding his arms across his chest. “Who taught you?”

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theinquisitionisready: flower crown

He blinked. Then, slowly realizing what he had been given and smiled. “...Mm. Thank you, love. I did not ....quite expect this. It’s lovely.”

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http://club.shogakukan.co.jp/book/detail-book/book_group_id/341/

professing my pokespecial love here just because ; v ;

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The Past

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“You sound as if that’s all… no, it is far more than just that. As we aged, things became worse. Our financial state fell into ruin and our house was the last thing to leave. My sister and I were out of luck and out of chances. I didn’t know what to do… but she did. She took to theft, stealing, and cheating. She’d gamble and rig the games, exchange illegal substances… anything to get us a penny. But that was far from enough. Our mother refused all our attempts to get food, making the argument that we needed it all. She quickly perished.”

He sighed, brushing his hand slowly along Simon’s head, feeling his silky hair move through his fingers, relaxed. “I had no way of getting into law unless I met the requirements. That meant schooling I couldn’t afford and knowledge I didn’t have. But somehow, we came into a great wealth, all thanks to my sister’s illegal efforts. I was way to take the money, but… it meant realising my dream. I graduated from a cheap law school at the bottom of my class… but I made it. And that was what mattered.”

He went silent. He was clearly hesitant to say what came next in the story.

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...It was strange, really. His life’s work was all about putting all sorts of people behind bars, from the obscenely rich to the undeserving downtrodden--law does not discriminate, or so they say. The reality was far more sordid and gritty than intended-- why, the idea of a fair and just world was sheer make-believe. There would always be crime, suffering, poverty and chaos--all the elements required to sustain civil society as they now know it. It was despicable world they were living in.

"And thus, you became a prosecutor... am I correct?” He leaned closer, letting his wavy hair cascade across the other’s shoulder blade, wrapping up the other in its soft warmth. 

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The Past

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“I thank you… your company is greatly valued.”, he whispered, quiet for another moment, focused on Simon’s hair before he finally spoke again, a bitter recollection in his mind.

“I was not born into a noble family of knights… rather, a broken family with a missing father charged with criminal activity and a mother broken down by her life on her last legs. It was… less than favourable for growing up. But myself… and my sister… we were the only two who stuck together. I decided that I’d end my mother’s suffering by bringing my father to justice… it was a childish notion, but an appealing one. My sister said she’d become a detective. And she would assist me. Those were the simple dreams of our youth.”

He seemed hesitant to move on to the next part, fearful eyes moving to look at Simon… not knowing what he wanted, but… wanting something.

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He frowned. Such tales of woe weren't uncommon in his line of profession, he’d seen worse and had experienced such a tragedy himself--yet, he couldn’t help but feel an ounce of sympathy. And to think, he’d been desensitized to all the horrors of the world. ...Clearly not.

Slowly undoing his hair, he allowed the other to enjoy it in its entirety. “What else do you remember?”

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The Past

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He was silent, quietly lost in thought. Once again he buried his distraction in Simon’s hair, twisting it in his fingers as he spoke.

“I’ve been in a state of… mulling over the information, the memories, which have returned to me since the Labytinthia incident came to a close.”

He silently cursed himself for his weakness in admitting this to Simon… yet if he wanted their precious closeness to remain, it would be needed, wouldn’t it? A sigh escaped him

“Forgive me for troubling you, but I think perhaps it would be best if I were to speak my concerns now. To vent… that is, if you’d care to listen.”

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He let out a sigh, leaning closer to those talented hands toying with his hair. It felt quite relaxing. His affection intensified tenfold, his own hands stroking the other’s firm sides, admiring the way the fabric clung to his body. But more importantly, to show that he deeply cared for Barnham.

“Certainly... I am all ears,” he murmured.

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The Past

His mind was clouded in memories drifting in from his past. It ached to remember the things that made him forget his own existence… but any past that would cause someone to replace their life with a false one couldn’t possibly be anything nice. He sat at the table in a silent room all to himself, one hand buried in his hair, the other drumming its fingers on the wooden table.

Damn him… these memories had no place coming back to him like this. Why couldn’t he shake them? He had a future, a new life to look forward to… but he couldn’t ignore the things that made him Zacharias Barnham. Least of all the person he cared so dearly about.

No. Broad things like this simply wouldn’t do. He had to get all of it out at once. He had to let it out. And there was only one person who could be trusted with it.

“Sir Blackquill… I didn’t hear you open the door.”

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“It was slightly ajar,” he murmured, helping himself in and taking the seat right next to the other; an arm curling around his waist. 

He was learning to be more openly affectionate, though the process was long and arduous one... given the perpetual stoicism on his face. Yet, an attempt was made--his actions speaking louder than words, his other hand resting low on the other’s lean stomach, stroking it tenderly.

“You look... pale. What troubles you, Sir Barnham? Have you an upset stomach?”

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“Hmph.”, he met Simon’s eyes with his own gaze, satisfied with the way things were. “Your support is much appreciated… Sir Blackquill.”

He looked deeply into Simon’e eyes, reminding himself that he wasn’t alone in suffering. “Hmm… though I make far too many negative comments on myself, I should be careful not to upset you, shouldn’t I? I’m sorry.”

He smiled, moving his hand from Simon’s shoulder to his head, running his fingers through Simon’s hair. “If I’m broken, or I’m not… and if the same is true for you… perhaps we can repair each other.”

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He loved having his hair played with--it was the best feeling in the world. He smiled more tenderly before pressing another kiss to the other’s scar. 

“On the contrary, you needn’t hide your thoughts from me. I accept every part of you-- the good and bad, the beautiful, the ugly... call me a sentimental fool all you like, but 'tis the way how love works, is it not?”

Another kiss to his lips, chaste and gentle. “Oh, how I adore you so...”

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“I… wish not for you to suffer for my sake. Please… I hold only the dead weight of a ruined past and a false future.”

He placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder still, casting his face downward and avoiding eye contact. “I am… a broken human being. There is nothing in my future.”

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“Zacharias...” 

This pity-party was disgusting... but elicited the desired results, eyes softening and lips pursing in a thoughtful manner. His hand slid from Barnham’s cheek to his hair, carding through them, smoothing out the spikes and soothing his nerves.

“You don’t think you would get rid of me that easily, do you?” He murmured, before pressing a kiss to his cheek, and then once to his lips-- sweet and lingering. “As the saying goes, in sickness in the health...and ‘til death do us part... I shall always be yours.”

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“If anything, I’ve seen… and remembered… that the outside world can at times be even more cruel than Labyrinthia. At least in my false life, the horrible events to occur were all lain out before us so we knew. But here…”

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“If you are to continue running from your past, your fears, yourself... then let me run with you.” 

The hand from his shoulder, grasped his cheek, stroking it gently. Soft warm glowing in his eyes as a small but genuine smile lit up. “Sir Baker.”

[retinz]

Source: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=manga&illust_id=46572297

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“…Yet, at the same time, were such an incident not to occur, the poor young knight would not have lost his beloved mother. My carelessness cost a life on that day. And I do not wish to see my mistakes repeated on this day of fools.”

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“...They won’t be.” A warm hand rested upon his shoulder.

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“…T’was less than appealing, nor was it properly befitting of a knight such as myself, whose appearance should be prideful and confident at all times.”

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A quirk of the lips. “What you say might ring true, but, surely a miracle came out of the expense of your humiliation? Would you, then, have been fated to meet Constantine under much different circumstances? I highly doubt so.”

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“The last time I engaged in a so-called harmless prank I was run over by a horse.”

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“That was an accident, if I recall correctly.” He leaned against his shoulder, nudging his shoulder. “One I, unfortunately had missed out on.”

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“An entire day dedicated to fools? Bah! The world outside Labyrinthia continues to baffle me!”

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“You misunderstand. ‘Tis the day where any common man decides to engage in trickery with one another, without consequence. Usually harmless pranks come out of it.”