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issei matsukawa
arguments with mattsun are rare, to say the least. you both are great at communicating with one another
you understand his line of work and when things get busy, and how often he jumps out of his skin because of the things he sees on a daily basis.
he’s lackadaisical but sometimes the stress gets the most of him and arguments ensue
and they’re nasty. screaming and yelling is common.
but you always come back. always
you two had been screaming for the past half hour, since issei got home in fact. a lot of nasty words were thrown around at one another ranging from insults to accusatory. at around this time you always get exhausted. you wanted the argument to be over.
“why are you so set on fighting me on this?! can’t we just talk and get this over with? why the fuck do you want to fight me?!” you yelled, exasperation and tears lacing within your voice.
“because i don’t know why you’re still with me!” matsun yelled, slamming his hand on the kitchen table which caused you to jolt. you couldn’t even remember at this point why you were arguing now. maybe he missed date night again, maybe he said something he shouldn’t have, but you don’t remember. you approach him slowly, cautious of his rage. he took a deep breath, noted by the unison rise and fall of his chest. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to... get violent.”
“why don’t you understand why i’m with you?” you asked softly. issei lets out a breath and pulls out a chair to sit in. running his hand over his face he looked up at you.
“i don’t know when you’re gonna get sick of this shit, of me.” your face scrunched, pulling a chair to sit opposite of him. “i’ve seen people’s funerals with three people showing up, and with the way i’ve been acting i’m scared that’s going to be me. but i can’t stop thinking about it.”
“issei,” you sighed. “i come back because you always do right. by us, by me. by our relationship. it doesn’t matter how bad our arguments get you come back and you communicate with me. everything. even the hard shit. and i love you for that.” you took his hand, running your thumb across the back of his hand. “i’m not going to leave you. ever. you won’t end up alone.”
matsun smiled at you, it was weak but it was there. there was a sparkle in his dark eyes as he looked at you. the silence was a welcome change compared to the past half hour of yelling and screaming. he squeezed your hand.
“i love you, you know.” his smile seemed to solidify.
“i know you do. and i love you too,” you leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead.
“fuck it. lets stay in and watch shitty movies. take a breather, i think we both need it.”
a.n. college people are mean so here’s a fun series for ✨therapy✨ this is also hella long
☕If you like my work considering donating to my Ko-Fi!☕
situationships were really weird. you met atsumu miya through his roommate, suna rintaro, who was dating your roommate, and you instantly connected. you knew he had just got through with a really rough end to a different situationship, so you didn’t push for a label.
atsumu was so much better at casual sex than he was emotional vulnerability. but with you it all felt so much easier. he could tell you anything he wanted without judgement and he felt safe. so did you. you both made plans with one another to move in and start a life with each other after school was over.
you knew he was terrified of commitment, terrified of what a label might do to him, and you were accepting. this slow, methodic pace was fine for you because atsumu was everything you ever wanted.
he didn’t party so much anymore. instead he spent his nights where he wanted to get drunk or high with you, finding each little nook and cranny of the campus that allowed some privacy.
you two loved each other in a way neither of you had felt before.
osamu had wanted to host a kickback at his, atsumu, and suna’s apartment. there would be drinking games and just an overall good time. both of the twins wanted to invite a new girl over, yumeko. she was the roommate of a mutual friend and they just wanted to see how she would mesh with the friend group.
“so what’s the deal with atsumu? yumeko asked, drink in her hand as she took casual sips. you smiled softly, looking at your drink.
“he and i have a really long history. i’m positive i’m in love with him, and he is with me, he’s just, not into labels,” as drunk as you were, you spilled everything about you and atsumu to yumeko. she only nodded, keeping her eyes glued on him while he shotgunned a beer with his twin brother. you ended your little rant by saying, in the sweetest voice, “he means so much to me.” atsumu turned to you, waving, face flushed completely red with intoxication.
“i just got through a bad breakup,” yumeko continued. “and i dont know, i just want some form of intimacy.” she sighed dramatically. you laughed and agreed with her. before long, bokuto began throwing up into the kitchen sink. yourself, yumeko, and atsumu jumped up to help bokuto. yumeko looked at you. “you know what, it’s fine, atsumu and i’ve got this.” you furrowed your brows and looked at atsumu. he cupped your cheek and proceeded to ruffle your hair.
“it’ll be fine. go enjoy yerself, we got him,” he smiled at you, which you couldn’t help but reciprocate. you grabbed your drink again and sat onto the couch next to osamu. your eyes never left yumeko and atsumu as they brought bokuto upstairs into osamu’s bed. the couch was close enough to the staircase, and you were staring, a strange feeling settling into your stomach.
“yer paranoid,” osamu slurred, tossing his arm across the couch. “i know that face, yer concerned. don’t be. he’s head over heels for ya. besides he’d be a fuckin’ moron to go fer anyone else. yer perfect.” that made you smile a bit, you watched osamu take another sip before the strange feeling was getting to be too much. you stood up.
“i’m checking on them.” you declared. osamu sighed.
“ya don’t need to-” you couldn’t even hear him as you walked up the stairs, standing a few feet behind yumeko and atsumu, as she inched a little too close to him.
she pulled atsumu in by the waist to kiss him passionately and sloppily. you covered your mouth, feeling your heart splinter into a thousand pieces. you wanted atsumu to pull away, to tell her that he wasn’t interested. instead his hands settled on her waist and they fell into a rhythm, and this broke your heart beyond repair. after a minute or so, he pulled away from her.
“i, i can’t do this. look yer really pretty but i, i really like y/n, i can’t-” the little swell in your heart died with yumeko’s response.
“she told me. she also told me you’re good with casual sex. that i can offer. c’mon. you should be with someone who’ll put out for you,” her hands wandered lower, and you felt like you were going to throw up. atsumu’s flustered ‘oh god,’ didn’t help you feel any better. you watched them enter atsumu’s room and you ran back down the stairs.
osamu watched you frantically grab your things, pour out your drink and walk out the door shut. the sound was loud and it caused him to flinch. with furrowed brows, osamu put two and two together and ran up the stairs and flung open the door to his brothers room. yumeko was on atsumu’s lap, placing kisses onto his neck and osamu gagged in disgust. atsumu looked up and yelped.
“dude! some privacy,” atsumu bit.
“yer fucking disgusting,” osamu snapped. “y/n-i- you had the most amazing person wrapped around your finger and you do this to them.” atsumu pushed yukemo off him.
“they already know, jackass. they left the house five minutes ago” osamu watched the color drain from atsumu’s face, he got up and scrambled to find shoes, muttering profanities and ‘i’ve got to find em’. osamu blocked his brother from leaving his room.
“move. now.”
“no.”
“no?”
“no. i’m gonna go find ‘em. you made this shitty decision, you made this bed, lie in it. i hope the prospect of gettin’ yer dick wet was worth it.” with a snarl, osamu turned over his heel and exited his apartment.
osamu walked all over campus, wondering where the hell you went. he passed the art building and saw you in the garden, sobbing into your knees, sitting on a bench in front of the sunflowers which looked so underwhelming at night. he sat next to you and just let you cry. he didn’t know what to say. nothing he could say would make you feel any better. so he just let you feel.
after a while your sobs died down and you looked up at him, eyeliner and mascara smeared across your eyes. to osamu, you looked like a little raccoon. an adorable, miserable, raccoon.
“why are you here?” you sobbed.
“i didn’t want you to be alone,” he responded quietly. “‘m sorry.”
“you didn’t do anything.”
“i know. still feel bad though.” it was silent again. you looked up at him.
“what do i do?” you whimpered. “i can’t forgive him. i can’t. i feel so hurt. i let down all of my walls for him just to.. fuck. i don’t even like crying.”
“don’t forgive him.” osamu was firm. “don’t. he doesn’t deserve you. there’s lots of guys out there that would drop everything to be with you. everything.” you chuckled sadly. “gimme yer phone.”
“why?”
“just do it.” reluctantly, you handed your phone over. osamu went through every app and blocked atsumu on everything. when he returned it to you, he showed you. “it’s just step one. ‘m here to help ya, ya know that right? i’ll always be here for you.”
a.n. college people are mean so here’s a fun series for ✨therapy✨ this is also hella long
☕If you like my work considering donating to my Ko-Fi!☕
iwaizumi hajime
college is extremely hard. from making brand new friends to dealing with being so far from home, everything seemed insurmountable. but you had someone with you to help you out. you and hajime met during your freshman orientation and were practically inseparable. it wasn’t a shock to anyone that you two announced you were together halfway through your first semester freshman year.
you both had severe cases of homesickness, hajime was worse for wear than you were. but it wasn’t a huge problem, you were able to get through it together.
he approached you about rushing for a fraternity, saying he’s missed a sense of group comradery and friendship, something he got only through volleyball. you actively encouraged it, thinking it would be good for him.
and it was! for a while, at least. he broke out of his shell and was much more friendly to others, he seemed to be having a good time. yet in the process, you felt as if he was forgetting about you entirely. he blew off hang outs to party with his p-bros and the sorority sisters from other greek organizations.
you told him about your concerns, to which he brushed off, saying you were only being paranoid. to extend an olive branch, he invited you to a party at the house. despite it not being your scene you wanted to go to please him.
you had been standing in the corner of the party nursing a cup of jungle juice, watching your boyfriend party, surrounded by fraternity brothers and sorority sisters, more than a little annoyed. you had attempted to approach him several times, hoping maybe he’d introduce you to someone else so you’d have a friend at this party, but instead he either brushed you off or just ignored you all together. so you sat in this corner, feeling extremely sick and it wasn’t just due to the vodka overloaded juice in your hand. a girl took her place leaning against the wall to talk to you with a gentle smile.
“you’re y/n, right? you’re hajime’s partner?” she asked, taking a sip from the truly in your hand. you nodded.
“how’d you know that?” you asked. the girl chuckled.
“you’re his lockscreen,” she explained. “i’m marissa from dg, we’re in the same family line.” you made a little ‘ah’, and began to drink again. “so why aren’t you with him?”
“i’ve tried,” you said through gritted teeth, watching a few sorority sisters grip his arms, and he didn’t even shake them off. “but i’ve been ignored all night.” marissa snorted.
“asshole.”
“i didn’t even want to like, cling on to him either, you know? i don’t know anyone here and i thought he could help me make friends.” you pinched your forehead, feeling your eyebrow twitch. marissa wrapped her arm around your shoulders.
“well you got me. c’mon. i’ll introduce you to my sisters,” she took your hand and bounced around the party, introducing you to names and faces you didn’t know if you’d remember in the morning. you were appreciative to have someone here on your side, even when it was supposed to be your boyfriend. even so, after a while your social battery was dying, so you bid farewell to marissa (after getting her number and snap), telling her you were going to see if hajime could walk you home.
he was still surrounded by people. annoyed, and more than a little drunk, you grabbed his arm. you saw hajime’s green eyes darken at you, a contrast to the bright, drunk flush on his cheeks.
“jesus fucking christ, y/n, why the hell do you keep bothering me?” hajime snapped. you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off again. “i didn’t bring you here so you could cling to me like a fucking lost puppy. but you’re so fucking socially inept that you can’t make friends. can’t you get the hint that i don’t want to be near you 24/7?”
your eyes went wide, and you could feel your heart crack and bile sneaking up your throat. what was worse was all the eyes on you, of his pledge brothers whispering and girls giggling. you backed up a little, feeling the ache of disappointment heavy in your chest. a girl on his arm turned to you and snorted.
“let him be with girls he actually wants to be around,” she taunted, waving her hand in order to shoo you away. you looked up at him, hoping for any defense. when you didn’t get any you turned on your heel and walked out of the frat house.
the walk home was long and lonely, through the cold bitter night the tears that washed down your cheeks made it so much colder. knowing you’d be sleeping alone tonight made it worse. you walked into the shared apartment and felt dread. all the photos of you two together on the walls made you sick. you took a few off in a fit of tears, before trudging to your bedroom. you cried all night, until you passed out.
you woke up rather early the next morning, eyes crusted shut due to dried tears. you rubbed your eyes and looked next to you. hajime was sleeping soundly, and he still reeked of alcohol. his skin looked clean, meaning he hadn’t cheated on you. which, albeit the bare minimum, didn’t make you feel much better. you weren’t sad at the current moment, but instead pissed off. you got up, put some sweatpants on, and decided to go take a walk and get some coffee.
thinking about how to approach it, you bought hajime his typical cold brew out of pure habit. you hadn’t even noticed it was in your hand until you got back to your apartment, realizing both of your hands were full. sighing, you set your drink down and opened the door, holding it open with your back and awkwardly moving down to grab the one that was on the floor. when you finally got your footing you were completely surprised to see hajime on the couch, flipping through pages of your shared cookbook. your heart stopped. any cohesive thought you had about how to approach the situation flew out the window. even hungover hajime still managed to wake up early. he looked up at you with a soft smile, and you instantly wanted to forgive him, all resolve starting to melt.
but you couldn’t. you remembered how dark his eyes were last night, filled with hatred that you had never seen before. they weren’t soft the way they were now, and how they had always been. you didn’t know if those loving glances he’d been sending you lately were laced with lies.
“you got me coffee?” he asked you softly, voice raspy. you couldn’t dignify him with a response. instead, you just nodded and set the coffee in front of him. hajime blinked at you, sensing the shift in atmosphere, but you knew he didn’t know how to approach it. the silence in the small home you shared was so thick, it was suffocating you both. he cleared his throat. “so um, do you want me to make us breakfast or, um...” his voice trailed off, watching you shake your head no while sipping your coffee. you sat at the dining table far from him. every so often your gaze flickered back to him, attempting to stand up, but sitting back down.
coward, you thought. not an apology in sight.
“you left early last night,” he spoke up. “to be honest i, i don’t remember a lot of what happened i just know after a while i stopped seeing you. the guys had to bring me home. i was really, really fucked up you know-”
“so you don’t remember what you said to me?” you snapped, voice much louder than you had intended it to be. hajime blinked, brows furrowing as he tried to remember the nights events. “you don’t remember that you called me clingy? brushed me off each time i talked to you? called me socially inept while your little greek life friends laughed and didn’t stop them? you don’t recall any of it.” you watched the color drain from hajime’s face, watched his chest rise and fall much more rapidly than it had been, you could just feel his heart beating out of his chest. he stood, his movements weak.
“sweetheart, i-”
“shut the fuck up,” you cut him off, all the anger you had been storing for the past 12 hours bubbling to the surface. “i don’t know what your deal is, what the fuck has changed in the past three months, but the hajime i fell in love with would never, ever, let anyone talk to me that way.” hajime closed his mouth, and he didn’t have a defense. he took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.
“i’m still that guy,” he spoke quietly. “i just, it was, it was a heat of the moment, i don’t even remember it.”
“so just because you don’t remember it, you were too drunk makes it okay?” you barked. “bullshit. you invite me to a party where i don’t know anyone, and get pissy when i don’t have anyone to hang out with?”
“i’m sorry-”
“no you aren’t! you’re not fucking sorry. you’re upset because your shitty behavior is catching up with you. not because you hurt me, stop fucking pretending.” you ran your hands down your face, the tears threatening to spill again. you felt warm, calloused hands rubbing your arms, trying to comfort you but you pulled away. “don’t touch me.”
“please, let’s just sit down and we can talk this out,” he pleaded, voice cracking. you looked up at him and saw the tears brimming his eyes. “we have to figure this out. please.”
“i’m tired of trying to talk to you, iwaizumi,” you swallowed. his eyes widened, tears freely spilling. he’s not a guy who cries, you knew this. but you didn’t care. this was months of bottled up emotions that he just put to the side. “i told you how i’ve felt neglected, and inferior and you don’t listen. you continue to make the same mistakes each time and i let you.”
“please don’t do this, i can fix it, i can-”
“i gave you three months,” you argued. “three months of me trying to talk to you and telling you how i felt and you ignored me. i can’t. i can’t do this anymore.” hajime was openly sobbing know. you shook your head. “i’m gonna stay with a friend for a while. i’ll be back for my shit at a later date.” hajime was too busy sobbing to argue. you went to your room and began packing an overnight bag. maybe things would get better. but for now, you were so broken when you thought you couldn’t get anymore broken.
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oikawa tooru
“mm... mmm- i’m gonna be late,” oikawa mumbled, hands slipping off your cheekbones. you whined, pulling him back in for another kiss, hands on the back of his neck. oikawa chuckled, giving in so easily and kissing you back sweetly if only for a few moments before pulling away again. “okay okay, seriously honeybee, i have to go.”
you whined and pouted directly at him which caused oikawa to chuckle at your behavior. he bent down to give you a kiss on the forehead. “but you’re gonna be gone for so long what am I supposed to do?”
“wait for me to get back, duh,” oikawa snorted. you glared at him which caused him to laugh. “okay okay, what if i get snacks and stuff and we can have a late night movie night when i come back? yeah? does that work?”
“mmmmm...” your gaze on him tightened. “fine.” he beamed, peppering more kisses onto your cheeks before grabbing his bag and slipping on his shoes.
“alright, i’m off. i’ll text you when i can and let you know when i’m on my way home alright? i love you y/n,” he blew you a kiss and turned over his shoulder. still, you were already in a mood today, so how else could you mess with oikawa before sitting alone for ten hours? you smiled.
“love you too, harry,” you replied, almost nonchalantly, the wrong name slipping so easily off your tongue. tooru blinked, turned around to face you.
his chocolate brown eyes had a tight gaze on you, hands on his hips and sucking his teeth. you tried to hold back your giggles.
“now you better be meaning harry styles or else we got some problems,” he eyed you up and down. “because no bitch named harry is hotter than me.”
“tooru i literally don’t know what you’re talking about i said your name.”
“bitch, my name is not nearly that ugly. i’m owed an apology, written, minimum of five pages to me by the end of practice today or else,” your boyfriend playfully demanded.
“or else what?” you snorted.
“i’ll cry.” you laughed and rolled your eyes.
“you’re lucky i send you an i love you text once a day. go you’ll be late. i love you...” he stared at you, as if he was waiting for something. you giggled. “tooru.” he nodded, holding his hand up and starting to walk out the door.
“yeah yeah that’s what i thought, harry motherfucker...” as the door to your apartment closed you folded forward, laughing hysterically.
kuroo tetsurou
trying to out annoy each other was a game for you and kuroo and he almost always won. it was infuriating. you began to wonder if that was his real talent, pissing people off. though, if you asked yaku that question he would have told you that was a given.
you two sat on the couch watching a movie, your legs resting on his lap, him running his fingers softly up and down your thighs. he was doing this absentmindedly, paying attention to the movie rather than you. on the other hand, you were glaring at him. he had been pushing your buttons, in a playful way never hurting you he wouldn’t dream of that, and it was starting to irritate you.
and that little smirk he wore wasn’t helping in the slightest.
so you spent a good thirty minutes trying to figure out how to irritate him in return, getting distracted by how pretty and relaxed he looked today. no. focus. you have a mission.
after a while the lightbulb went off in your head and you came up with the best idea to irritate him.
“baby?” you piped up. kuroo let out a little ‘mhm?’ looking at you with a soft smile. “can you get me some water? please?”
“yeah of course,” he patted your thigh before moving your legs so he could stand up.
“love you vinny,” you blew him a kiss. kuroo just snorted and walked to the kitchen, returning a little later with a cup of ice water. he bent down to hand it to you, kissing your forehead. you tried not to show your irritation at his lack of reaction and tried again. “thank you, vinny.” he just sent you a smirk.
“you’re really gonna try that with me? i know you couldn’t cheat on me you couldn’t get a partner before you met me,” he laughed, grabbing your legs again to put them back on his lap. you gasped and pulled them to your chest. “what? i’m right. didn’t i ask you out because you were upset you got stood up?”
“you’re so mean,” you pouted.
“mhm yeah i’m such a bad guy,” he mocked with a coo in his throat. “c’mere and give me a kiss.”
“no. no you lost those privileges refrain from referring to me,” you crossed your arms which caused him to gasp, hand on his chest.
“y/n! baby! darling! my love! i was just joking- come here don’t take my kisses away that’s so rude!” kuroo started to whine but you just held your hand up.
well. you got what you wanted, but you were increasingly more irritated than you anticipated.
oh how the old saying goes ‘opposites attract’. you suppose that’s the reason you found hajime iwaizumi so alluring in the first place. ever so elusive, quiet with a bit of an anger streak, yet collected and polite that hajime. he was so mysterious and you couldn’t help but be drawn into the song he played with every moment he breathed. a new melody with every breath, a change in rhythm with the slightest smile he sent your way. it wasn’t often, but you wanted to know more, to hear more. to hear every interlocking harmony, and to be the only one able to hear it.
so you made the move
he was much more receptive than you figured, at least at the beginning. his elusiveness changed into a boyish sheepishness that made you giggle. shyness was never your strong suit. your parents called you a diva on and off the stage.
you and hajime shared several classes together from the start of your first year in high school together, learning each others hopes and dreams from the first day you spoke to one another. the key changed from a slow song in a minor key, to a rhythmic jazz in a major when he opened up to you for the first time. you watched the way his eyes lit up when he spoke of playing volleyball, especially playing with his long time best friend tooru oikawa. seeing the glimmer in those moss green eyes set a fire within your chest, feeling his passion along with him.
when he asked you you told him you were meant for one thing- fame. it seemed silly, and he laughed at you for it but you meant it and iwaizumi knew that quickly. you were a performer through and through and as the years went by he figured that out. just as you realized you loved him inside and out while seeing him on the volleyball court, playing a game you didn’t quite understand but he was passionate about the sport therefore so were you, he fell for you seeing you on that stage.
during your first year you single handedly revived the aoba johsai drama club, implemented a show choir and a dance troupe as well. and during your first performance, iwazumi was there. just like you in the stands during his games, confused but dazzled with him, he sat in the audience confused but entranced with you. he came to the next performance with flowers and a stumbling confession of love, which you gratefully accepted. ever since then you two had been going on extremely strong.
you saw each other pass some extremely important milestones in your passions. you became the president of the drama club, dance club, and show choir club by your first year, and iwaizumi became vice captain for his volleyball team alongside his long time friend oikawa. you were there for every game, as always, for all the highs and lows, wins and losses, you were there for him. even at his worst he appreciated you and your comfort.
the lowest was when oikawa announced he was moving to argentina when he graduated, leaving iwaizumi behind. you sat with him, as he wondered what to do next. you kept pushing for him to move to california, apply to a school there and pursue his dreams. he tried to tell you his volleyball dreams were shot, that he couldn’t do it without oikawa.
“you’re iwaizumi hajime, there’s nothing you can’t do,” you told him.
and so he applied. he applied for every school with a good volleyball and sports medicine program hoping one of them would say yes.
as for you? musical theatre was your game. and you had your sights set on two schools. ucla and usc. those were the best and you would accept nothing less. this is what you wanted. auditions and callbacks were rigorous, cue a confused iwaizumi at why you had to continuously submit video after video just to apply for a school. this just made you chuckle.
hajime got his envelope first. you knew what that meant. he got in. you waited every day by the mailbox for admissions from the two schools. you got the letter from ucla. no big envelope. you felt your heart splinter in your chest. after all that hard work. you began to give up after radio silence from usc. but iwaizumi sat you down.
“do you remember what you told me when i thought i couldn’t play volleyball anymore?” he asked you. “well. you’re the most talented person i’ve ever met, y/n. you’re l/n y/n. there’s nothing you can’t do.”
it seemed as if those simple words reinstated all hope that was crushed. almost as if he was a saint of some sort, your acceptance envelope from usc came in. you ran to his house as soon as possible, out of breath, banging on the door. you showed it to him and those moss green eyes brightened and he smiled with you, picking you up and spinning you around, his living room filled with happy lovely giggles.
both of you would be pursuing your dreams in a place where dreams were made. you wouldn’t be too far from each other. you were going to do this together.
but how long would dreams keep you together?
masterlist
a.n. this is really just exposition but i’m so genuinely excited for this. this was based off a dream i had and now i can’t stop thinking about the plot for this anyway.
summary- when y/n and hajime iwaizumi both move to california for university, they think the lack of distance will keep their relationship fresh, the both of them realize that the people they surround themselves, and the lives they begin to lead are going to tear them apart farther than one of them staying in japan might have
genre- college!au, canon divergent, angst like pure angst
sorry to be on yet another semi-hiatus but ive been taking care of my dad for a few days and will be for a hot minute! once more if anyone wants to help me and him out i now have a gofundme available! obviously you don’t have to donate but spreading the word and getting it out there would help out a lot thank you besties
a.n. i think a majority of the chapters now are going to be written but!! there’s a few more smau chapters coming up ☕If you like my work considering donating to my Ko-Fi!☕
“come on! just follow me rinnie,” your voice called out, sound swallowed by the oak trees. rintaro’s narrowed eyes rolled at you, lips quivering into a smirk. his movements slowed down to an unbearable place. you stomped your foot and pouted up at him, the d1 volleyball player’s hands on his hips. “rinnie you’re being unfair.”
“i’m just teasing you babe,” he smirked, leaning down to press the sweetest kiss onto your cheek which exploded into a bright blush. after years you still got the butterflies in your stomach every time his half lidded eyes bore into your own. “life’s not as much fun without a little bit of playfulness.”
you rolled your eyes and continued to skip through the forest, suna watching your every move with hearts surrounding your body, drinking in the happiness he felt knowing moments like this were fleeting. he loved you. so dearly. so much he was willing to sit out into the bug infested forest to look up at the stars through a clearer sky. you lead him to a solid plane of land, he watched you place the blanket on the grass, motioning for him to join you. he held up his hand and walked over to one of the trees near him. with a raise of your eyebrow you followed. he pulled out his red pocketknife, watching you jump a little caused him to chuckle.
“relax pumpkin,” he cooed and trailed his fingers over the bark of the tree. you watched his movements with wide eyes. suna treated the bark as if it were the most delicate piece of china he’d ever touched. with careful movements he brought his knife to the tree, carving slowly with careful precision. you watched him, head tilted to the side, opting to stand on your tiptoes to look over his shoulder. he clucked his tongue at you, smirking while he moved so you couldn’t see over him. you whined at him.
pouting, you crossed your arms and waited for him to finish what he was doing. with rin, you never knew what it was gonna be. it could be a penis for all you knew. he finally unsheilded his knife and put it in his pockets and turned to look at you with a shit eating grin.
“can i see now?” you asked with a puff of your cheeks. rin lifted his head in faux thought before he moved.
“yeah i guess,” he shrugged with a smile. you moved over to look at the tree and suddenly your heart was filled, and tears pricked in the corner of your eyes. his handiwork was so neat. both of your initials carved together within a neat heart. you clutched your shirt with a smile up at him.
“rin,” your voice broke.
“i love you. i love you so much, y/n. i don’t want what we have to go away. ever. i’ve never felt like this before. you complete me,” he leaned down to kiss you so sweetly, hands on your face. his touch made you feel at home.
“hey, darling,” sakusa called for you, pulling you out of memory lane. your eyes still glued on the engraving. you blinked and turned around to sakusa. “i’ve set everything up. are you ready? the moons full tonight.”
“yes. i’m coming my love,” you took a deep breath sparing one passing glance at the tree.
i bet on losing dogs
xv. better now
series masterlist
a.n. and a flashback :) ☕If you like my work considering donating to my Ko-Fi!☕
There will be a new chapter of IBOLD today i promise but my dad has his cancer biopsy soon and it’s been difficult to find money and time to post here and on my tiktok. i love giving you guys consistent content but it’s a struggle so i’m gonna drop my kofi again if any of you want to donate n e way enough of that ok have a good afternoon
Yay, you’re back! And don’t apologize hun! You do what you must do! Glad to see you back writing in any aspect! Take care and sending love to you and your family 🥰😊😇
Ah! thank you so much bestie~ it’s been a lot lately and maybe i’ll make a whole post explaining it but thank you all for being so flexible with me lately
you stared at your phone while waiting for sakusa in front of the library, burning the texts your boyfriend just sent you into your head as to never forget it. you should feel flattered, he said your existence was akin to a cosmic explosion. for most people something like that would send your heart aflutter and yet... nothing made you feel as special as what akaashi keiji called you last night.
yes, you felt the explosion of butterflies every time you were around him. he made you feel something you hadn’t since your breakup with suna. still, there was something akaashi made you feel that you couldn’t quite place. it made you feel something more than special. you couldn’t feel that way anymore. not when you were with sakusa. kiyoomi made you feel loved and supported, and you knew deep down that letting yourself overthink what keiji said to you last night would put you in a position you never in a million years thought you would be in.
yes, you felt the explosion of butterflies every time you were around him. he made you feel something you hadn’t since your breakup with suna. still, there was something akaashi made you feel that you couldn’t quite place. it made you feel something more than special. you couldn’t feel that way anymore. not when you were with sakusa. kiyoomi made you feel loved and supported, and you knew deep down that letting yourself overthink what keiji said to you last night would put you in a position you never in a million years thought you would be in.
seeing sakusa’s car pull up to the library washed those thoughts away. the drive north was only two hours, and the car ride was filled with idle chit chat, loving silence, and terrible singing with loud laughter. you felt comfortable with kiyoomi. his hand was on your thigh during the drive, looking over at you and pressing chaste kisses onto your forehead and cheeks. you pulled to gas stations to grab snacks for your little adventure.
you got out of the car with kiyoomi and night was falling. the morning blue fading into the deep pink of dusk, he held your hand as you looked up into the sky with the brightest of smiles. kiyoomi gave your hand a squeeze.
“cmon, darling,” he cooed and kissed the top of your head, bending at the waist to do so. “i don’t want you to go hungry, so follow me.” soft domestic moments like this made your heart skip several beats, you skipped into the convenience store, grabbing snacks for the both of you to share, noting his nose scrunch through his mask at certain options. moments like this didn’t make you question anything, the words from keiji akaashi far in the back of your mind.
today you cared about you and kiyoomi.
you were back on the road in no time, and approached the wooden area sakusa had planned for you to sit and watch the stars in no time. you were staring out the window with stars in your eyes. every time he looked to you he chuckled. parking his car, he pulled you out and directed you with his hands throughout the forest, guiding you to the best spot as if it were a safe haven he had been to a hundred times before. you followed him giggling, shouldering the bag of pillows, snacks, and blankets.
“where are we going, omi?” you asked laughing.
“you’ll see. i wouldn’t lead you astray,” he clucked his tongue which forced you to roll your eyes. eventually he lead you to a field of flowers and grass in the middle of the wilderness, which gave you the perfect view of the stars. you would have gasped, if this area didn’t feel almost uncomfortably familiar. yet, the beauty of this made you smile wide.
“this is beautiful, kiyoomi,” you spoke, breathless. he bent down to kiss you sweetly, cupping your cheek with his thumb rubbing your cheekbone. when he pulled away you could only see pink bubbles of pure adoration around sakusa, illuminated by the moonlight.
“give me the bag, my love, i’ll set things up.” you handed the bag to him with a hum and took it upon yourself to look around, maybe the ugly feeling in your gut was just playing a trick on you. surrounded by tall oaks you felt comforted, your fingers grazing the bark on every tree you passed. yet, the bark changed and you felt the etch of carvings in the bark indent in your fingertips.
turning your head, you looked over at what was carved into the tree and your world stopped. this place didn’t feel familiar, it was.
there, carved in the bark, was your initials and suna rintaros, surrounded by a heart.
i bet on losing dogs
xiv. nuit blanche
series masterlist
a.n. and i’m back! my situation was a lot worse than i thought, so i apologize this chapter wasn’t as good as i wanted it to be, but i’m back, this is back so >:) get ready.
a.n. i’m in such physical and emotional distress rn so this is for me
☕If you like my work considering donating to my Ko-Fi!☕
hajime iwaizumi
he’s a busy guy and you know that. he works himself to the bone and you appreciate that part of his personality. he’s passionate and you love him for it.
but you got some really bad news recently and you found the silence of the house when he was gone suffocating. thinking about the family emergency getting worse only made you panic.
when that news finally came you broke down, breathing becoming erratic and you felt your chest cave in. you called hajime several times, with no answer
you texted him asking him to please come home and you were left on read and that made you feel so much worse.
you can’t remember what happened when you passed out but all you knew was you were out.
it was dark when you woke back up, turning from your position on the couch to see the night sky in full bloom. hajime still wasnt home. figures. you pull out your phone, texts and calls from hajime ignored and the text from a family member describing the worsening situation. you sighed, pulling up snapchat to see hajime out with his team at dinner. are you fucking kidding? the one thing, the absolute one thing, you needed was hajime. and he ignored you for his team. you throw your phone to the ground, turning on the tv. you needed your comfort show. now.
hours passed and the front door opened. hajime stood there, stuffed animal and your favorite snacks in hand. too bad that did nothing to quell your anger, his sheepish grin only making it worse.
“are you alright?” he asked, voice breaking in his throat. iwaizumi awkwardly shifted to you, clearly wanting to shit on the couch next to you. but you had such a dark cloud around you that was unwavering, and it scared even him. your eyes were trained on the tv and not him.
“no. but very clearly you didn’t care,” you snapped, staring at the show.
“of course i do, doll,” he tried to coo but you just roll your eyes.
“yeah. you cared so much about me and how i’m doing that you just had to go out with your fucking team, that you see more often than you do me by the way. you clearly care,” you snarled, turning off the tv.
“honey, i couldn’t just-” you cut him off, keeping your strong façade.
“shut up. shut the fuck up, hajime. i’m the one struggling. i’m hurting here and i needed you, i needed you so badly and you couldn’t even fucking be here for me,” you began to crack, tears streaming down your red cheeks. he reached out to touch you, but you pulled away. “leave me alone.”
“i made that mistake once today, y/n. i’m not doing it again,” hajime countered, voice stern. you continued to break, tears streaming violently down your face which you tried to wipe away but iwa was a few steps ahead of you. your cheeks were in his hands, his thumbs catching your tears. “i’m so so sorry, my love. not being here for you today will haunt me. i’m supposed to be your support system and i wasn’t. i love you so much my darling, so please talk to me. i’ll be there for you from now on. whenever you call or text me i’ll be there.” he pressed the sweetest kiss to the crown of your head. you took a deep breath and sat back down on the couch, breaking down in the comfort of your boyfriends arms.
you weren’t okay, you didn’t know if you would be for a little, but his attentiveness made you feel the slightest bit better.
keiji akaashi.
keiji is level headed, you loved that about him. he was able to get you to see the middleground, to get you to view things from a clear angle.
but sometimes he wasn’t too receptive to how you truly felt. he wasn’t compassionate about your feelings and explained to you all the reasons that you were overreacting to a situation.
it made you feel fairly yucky sometimes, but you know keiji was trying to give you a level head and help you think clearly, but sometimes that’s not what you needed. you needed to rant and panic with loving coos from him and thats not what you got
this was especially the case when you got locked in a room at your workplace.
panicking you called keiji.
“pick up pick up pick up...” you bit your knuckle after ten minutes of trying to pry the door open but it wouldn’t budge. tears pricked the corner of your eyes and your breath was hitching rapidly. everything was crumbling down you felt so, oh so, terrified. your phone rang a few times before he picked up, already sounding annoyed when the phone was answered. “keiji-”
“darling what is it? i’m rather busy today,” keiji’s voice was annoyed over the phone. it didnt matter, you were already starting to cry and hiccup. “darling?”
“i-i’m locked in a storage closet at work, my radio’s dead, i’m so scared-” you choked out. akaashi sighed into the reciever.
“what do you want me to do about it?” akaashi bit which didn’t make you feel great.
“i-i-i don’t know just talk to me? please i’m scared,” you collapsed down the wall, biting your knuckle.
“scared of what?” akaashi responded, genuinely confused. “you know they’re going to come back for you so why are you so scared?”
“yeah i-i know but-”
“i don’t have time for this. i’ll call you when i get home.” you were appalled by keiji hanging up the phone. it took your coworkers almost an hour to get you out. turns out the lock on the door broke and they had to call a repair service to remove the doorknob and the lock to get you out. your manager apologized profusely and let you go home early. you got home and collapsed onto the couch, passing out due to the exhaustion and the stress that situation put you through.
akaashi called you during your little nap but you didn’t answer. that bothered him just a little bit. you always answered his calls. he picked up your favorite take out and by the time he got home he saw you asleep on the couch and smiled very sweetly down at your figure. he ran his fingers across your sides and pressed a kiss to your forehead causing you to stir awake.
blinking the sleepiness out of your eyes you looked up at your boyfriend, the frustration of earlier sinking back in. your brows furrowed and grumbling, you sat up. keiji’s expression tightened. okay. weird.
“i brought your favorite home, my love, i know today was rough for you,” he explained, brushing hair our of your face. your frown deepened.
“do you? because you hung up on me and i was stuck in that fucking room for another hour after that,” you bit, keiji’s jaw dropping at that. another hour that was absolutely ridiculous.
“another hour? are you-”
“don’t pretend you care.” you bit. “you left me alone and i needed someone and i had no one. i was so fucking scared keiji,” and all the fear came back, tears trickling down your cheeks. his expression softened fully and he sat righr next to you, wiping the tears away. “no one could hear me if they didn’t realize i was gone i would have been stuck i was so scared.”
“i’m so sorry my love, i’m sorry i wasn’t receptive,” he kissed your wet cheeks with a coo. “i’m so sorry.”
“you do this all the time, keiji! you aren’t ever here when i need you.” you whimpered. akaashi felt his heart shatter at that. did you really think that? “whenever i come to you with my problems you always explain why the other side makes a point, or why i’m over reacting. and it hurts it really does. it makes me feel like you don’t care about me.”
he stopped talking, staring at you incredulously. he couldn’t believe he’d done this.
“i’m so sorry. i’m so so sorry y/n. i love you more than anything else in the entire world. you mean everything to me please recognize that. i’m sorry. i’ll work on being more receptive to your emotions. i can’t believe i didn’t realize. i love you okay?” he kissed you one more time and you nodded. “now come eat dinner with me. tell me everything that happened and i won’t say one word. i’ll just listen.”
Hey hun, take as much time as you need and such. You and your loved ones health come first! sending best wishes and we’ll see you soon!🥺🥰
literally thank everyone being so understanding about the situation?? it means a lot to me, i know my writing and little fics are an escape for many people but i’ve been so stressed lately. a new chapter will be up soon, i promise, but i’m gonna write a few things for me to make me feel better because god damn
Hey besties uh another update I’m sorry I haven’t posted a new chapter for I Bet on Losing Dogs but I’m being kicked out and have no place to go, since my dads under heavy quarantine with his cancer, so I’m trying to figure out a solution. Thanks for your patience if anyone of you is kind enough to help here’s my kofi
