mistakes were made

Hi I'm Hope, I'm 23 years old and I'm still obssessed with cartoons. Adulthood is a myth. she/her

[forestwater87]

(first apologies if this is a duplicate; I got a "bad request" notification the first time I tried to send this ask) but anyhow; I saw your tags on my Lucretia post and i am not sure how to reply to tags?? but i want to see your version of that scene! (if you still want to share) I love Lucretia very much and love to see other peoples' takes on her. anyway, I hope you are having a good day!

OH MY GOD YAY!! 

I mean, cool, whatever. I guess I could share a little bit of that fic. That’s fine.

(yayayayayayayay eeeeeeeeeee)

Okay, part of me wanted to blast you with the entire chapter, but that’s 25-ish pages so I’m forcing myself to show restraint here and only include the tail end. There’s a little bit of context missing, because it’s the last section of Chapter 10 of a fic that so far has at least 32 chapters, but I think it all makes sense. It’s basically just “here’s what happened in that cycle when everybody else was a statue person” and it was, you know, not a good time. (There’s some implied Magcretia, sorry not sorry.) 

Plus it’s really good. I know that sounds arrogant, but I’ve spent the last 4-5 years hating every word I’ve ever written, and I’m going to enjoy this confidence for as long as it chooses to stay.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy! 

There are no line breaks on tumblr anymore so this is the part where the actual writing starts:

When the Hunger arrived, it was a relief more than anything.

Lucretia had been in the middle of defending The Starblaster from a group of marauders climbing like ants all over the dented and hastily-repaired sides of the ship, trying to figure out if she could possibly shake them all free without having to resort to the magic she’d deduced made it possible for the court to find her, when the sky turned dark and everything went gray. 

And her first thought was, Oh thank Pan. (She wasn’t a religious person at all, but enough time with Merle had made the casual prayers second nature.) This nightmare was almost over. In less than an hour, she’d have her family back.

She was so close to seeing Magnus again.

“Fisher, get back in your tank!” she shouted, abandoning the shield she’d been summoning and sprinting to the helm — she’d spent so much time this year running for her life that she could race from one end of the ship to the other without becoming winded. None of the marauders had made it onto the deck, but she felt the air above her head crackle with a spell that blazed past, and as she reached the controls she heard the now-familiar amplified voice call, “You are under arrest for multiple counts of evading the authority of the co — what the hell’s going on here?”

Oh, great. All her friends were here. Now all she needed was for the boar and crocodile to make an appearance.

As the officer began to interrogate the marauders (his side of the conversation still blaring loud and clear), Lucretia took advantage of the confusion to throw the ship forward. She’d had enough foresight to keep the way in front of The Starblaster clear for just this purpose, and while a few hundred yards of ash-colored grass were flattened, she was able to get the ship into the air.

She pointed it up, away from the Hunger — up into space, into nothingness, into any universe except this one, somewhere she’d stared at and imagined but now was finally going into …

If she could get the damaged, shuddering ship up to speed and break through the atmosphere, that was.

If not, everything ended here.

A tentacle of swirling darkness stabbed into the ground inches away from her ship, forcing her to swerve hard and nearly lose her footing. She threw all her weight on the acceleration as more of the Hunger’s tentacles latched onto the planet, the labored roar of the engines nearly drowning out the screams of panic from the people below.

As The Starblaster rocketed over a shining city with strange statues and up into the sky, a whisper made Lucretia look around — before realizing it had come from inside her own head.

We’ve been looking for you.

Keep reading

[forestwater87]

Yehp so it didn’t preserve the line breaks (good job, Tumbl-my-bumbl. Nailing it as always), so please know that this is what that last bit from the Judges is supposed to look like:

Cool, right? Sure wish those line breaks had made it into the post. Really woulda, like, heightened the tension and all that jazz.

Still pretty good though.

[forestwater87]

My favorite (assumed) subtweets and responses to Ryan’s latest bullshit (please feel free to add more):

Jeremy:

Andy:

Meg:

Fiona:

Steffie (that’s a gif of RDJ rolling his eyes, in case it was unclear):

Alfredo (sort of. It counts):

Jackie (fredo’s gf):

Mariel (links to a clip of “hell to the naw naw — bishop bullwinkle”):

Bonus Mariel liking the tweet of one of the victims:

Lindsay (links to the “say what again?” bit from pulp fiction):

[forestwater87]

Because there’s a pic limit I couldn’t share this but here:

[hopefullypessimistic84]

I only really post on this blog once in a full moon, but as a fan of Rooster Teeth and Achievement Hunter I just wanted to say, from the bottom of my heart: Ryan Haywood can eat shit. He did not “make a mistake” or “think that he shared a connection” with those girls. He is a manipulator and a rapist and no amounts of Pity Me Apologies are going to change the truth. He isn’t sorry that he hurt anyone, he’s sorry he got caught. He used funds (that fans gave him) that were supposed to go to his children’s college funds to pay for his ‘mistakes’. I do not know what was going though his mind when he did those horrible things, but it was not His Family and he does not get to use them as a shield now.  If you were a fan of him and you feel shocked and hurt I understand, I’m with you too. To those who keep trying to find ways to soften the emotional blow and feel sorry for him, please stop. I understand that it’s devastating, that you don’t want it to be true, but you’re only preventing yourself from healing and giving him an unearned safety net. Ryan is not being Harassed. Members of this community were being harassed by him. Ryan is facing the consequences of his actions. And to those who are blaming the victims for coming forward, Achievement Hunter for taking action and the fans for being upset: Leave.

[hopefullypessimistic84]

Yearning

Read on ao3 David isn’t jealous.

He isn’t.

Gwen’s rushing around the cabin looking for her only pair of heels while Derek waits outside. And David is...David is fine. Sure, Gwen looks pretty all dressed up, but Gwen always looks pretty and... David isn’t jealous.

He isn’t jealous as Gwen nudges his shoulder and tells him to ‘make sure the little shits don’t burn down the camp while I’m gone.’

He isn’t jealous when Derek wraps an arm around her shoulders to lead her to his stupid/shiny/obnoxious car.

David’s not jealous. He’s not. He has Jasper! And David loves him, thinks about him all the time. Thinks about holding him, kissing him, pulling him close and staying there until he’s forced to move away. Jasper isn’t a second choice or an afterthought! David loves him with every inch of his body. So why…

Why can’t he stop thinking about Gwen?

Why can’t he stop looking at her? Why does his heart skip a beat whenever she laughs, even, especially, when it’s at his own expense? Why does he dream about touching her? Gently, with so much care, as if even the calluses of his hands would taint her skin. Why is he so relieved when she comes back to the cabin an hour later, kicking off her heels angrily and declaring all men garbage?

Even thinking about Jasper won’t make the thoughts stop. No, now instead of David being the one to hold Gwen, his dreams are filled with the two of them tangled up together. Gwen, flush against the wall, held there by a smug Jasper. Jasper, nipping playfully at her neck. Gwen giggling. Gwen moaning. Jasper beckoning him to join them…

David isn’t jealous. But he is something.

He tells Jasper when he comes down to visit. Gwen leaves the cabin to give them some privacy and David blurts it out almost immediately. He makes sure Jasper knows that they’re just thoughts, that at the very least he’s never acted on his...feelings. He’s ashamed of himself, expects Jasper to be angry at him, or hurt at the very least.

Jasper laughs. Jasper laughs again at David’s obvious confusion.

“Well no shit you’re jealous! Wait, did you just now figure out you like her? Babe!”

“You...you aren’t upset?” David asks hesitantly. Jasper snorts. “For having taste?” Jasper jokes before his eyes soften. “Davey c’mon. I know you love me. You’re the most tender-hearted guy I know, of course you’d fall in love easy. ‘Sides, Gwen’s a firecracker! How could you not fall a little in love with her?” David relaxes a little, but still hesitates before he says, “She’s just so...gosh, I don’t even know how to describe it.”

Jasper glances toward the door before smirking. “Beautiful? Smart? Too cool for school?”

“All of the above. Gwen is just...she’s everything. She tries so hard to make the camp as perfect as I know it can be. And she cares so much even when she pretends she doesn’t!  She’s fierce and strong and-and competitive. Her eyes just light up whenever she wins or figures out a solution.” David gushes, waving his hands around to emphasize his point now that he knows for sure Jasper isn’t upset with him. “You should have seen her the other day Jasp, she was so beautiful and her date didn’t even appreciate it! I just wish...” 

 “That she would look at you?” Jasper asks knowingly.

“...Both of us. That she would look at both of us. Is that greedy, do you think? To want to be with both of you.”

Jasper grins mischievously before shrugging. “I mean, I’ve got two hands. Might as well use them...What do you think, Gwen?” 

David twists his neck towards the front door horrified. Standing in the entryway, her eyes wide, is the woman of the hour. If he was panicking less he might have noticed the blush on her cheeks, but he doesn’t.

Before he can stammer out an explanation Gwen holds up a hand, stepping into the room.

“Did...did you mean all that?”

David opens his mouth to try and come up with a, hopefully believable, lie, but glances over at Jasper who nods at him knowingly. He gives up, shoulders slumping.

“I-I...yes. I meant all of it, Gwen. I know you don’t- I hope we can still be friend- oh please don’t quit!”

Gwen crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow at him challengingly. Jasper, for reasons David doesn’t understand, looks delighted.

“And why exactly would I quit?”

David blinks, unable to comprehend what is happening. 

“...Because I have feelings for you? And that is...um, inappropriate for a work environment? And might make you uncomfortable? Or uh, feel pressured to-”

Gwen cuts him off. “Pressured? By you?”

“I...uh...I’m not sure if I should be offended by that...Does this mean you aren’t upset?” David asks, completely thrown by how the conversation has turned. 

Gwen snorts and drops her hands to her sides, stalking forward until she’s eye level with David. 

“Do I look upset?” She asks, sounding amused.

David stares at her for a moment, taking in her glittering eyes and her relaxed posture before turning to look at Jasper. His boyfriend stares back knowingly.

“You planned this,” David accuses.

Jasper beams. 

“You suck at keeping secrets, babe. We could tell something was off and well, I am a genius.”

Gwen scoffs. “Don’t forget humble.”

“So you knew the whole time? How...how I felt?” David asks, still nervous to be speaking openly about it.

“Eh, I mean, not for sure. But I had an inkling.” Jasper shrugs, evidently feeling no shame in masterminding this whole reveal. Taking David’s hand and entwining it with his own, Jasper turns to Gwen and holds out his remaining hand, wiggling his fingers invitingly. “So, what do you say, doll? Wanna make this twosome a trio?”

Gwen hums, gazing at David’s awestruck face and Jasper’s toothy grin before taking Jasper’s offered hand. “I guess someone needs to keep you two in line.”

Jasper nudges David and shakily, David offers Gwen his own hand as well. She takes it. 

Her callouses align perfectly with his. 

So no, David isn’t jealous. He has no reason to be. 

Not anymore.

[kowbojki]

Got some comments about the Fuck Shit Up-jacket, so I present to you: Aziraphale Goes Fucking Feral.

[stardusted-menace-deactivated20]

I’m terrified Azi honey what are you going to do

[kowbojki]

he’s gonna VIBE CHECK gabriel

[unclefather]

[abbylonian-deactivated20220825]

me playing with a cat: hee hee toy on a string

the cat: what the fucks it gonna take for this bird to die

[oursuperadventure]

✨💖✨

Hey! Thank you so much to everyone who came to see us at MCM Birmingham! And all of the other shows and signings that we did this year! It’s been an amazing year and I’m honestly so lucky to have so many supportive readers. Thank you!

Online Shop | Patreon | Instagram | Webtoon | GoComics | Tapas

[mywingsareonwheels]

Crowley: is supposed to be Chaotic Evil, but it’s always the chaos he’s enjoyed, never the evil, and that puts him in huge opposition to Hell (esp. as Beelzebub is increasingly Lawful Evil anyway). After the Nonpocalypse, he’ll be able to act on this by being epically Chaotic Good, and it will be superb.

Aziraphale: is supposed to be Lawful Good, but it’s always the good he’s enjoyed, never the lawful, and that puts him in huge opposition to Heaven (esp. as Gabriel in increasingly Lawful Evil anyway). After the Nonpocalypse, he’ll be able to act on this by being epically Chaotic Good, and it will be superb.

The SHEER AMOUNT of utterly feral benevolence the two of them are going to bring to Earth once they’ve got their shit together will be outstanding. Arms sales to oppressive regimes scuppered when the warheads turn out to be full of confetti or glitter. Politicians suddenly finding themselves unable to open their mouths without the truth coming out IN SONG*. Charities bringing aid to victims of famine and war and climate disaster find their finances and supplies in better health than ever, and also that some of it is randomly entertaining as well as useful - rice that makes children’s tongues change colour (the sound of the children giggling in response gives strength and hope to aid workers run ragged and raw with pain and overwork), blankets with dancing animals on, medical equipment that self-sterilises once it’s passed its useful life and then turns into footballs and spinning tops.

They remove Newt’s curse (naturally), and distribute it between unpleasant individuals so that no fascist, alleged POTUS, or arsehole anti-trans former comedy writers can login to Twitter, ever. They do the coin-on-pavement trick, but only on billionaires. They bless with absurdity, and tempt towards compassion.

And if Adam rolls his eyes at his ridiculous uncles on occasion and says things like, “you know, this is *exactly* the kind of stuff you’ve told me I can’t do any more or I’ll risk ending the world”, they have the grace to look sheepish, but then hint gently that perhaps Adam and the rest of the Them have some ideas for some other tricks a pair of Chaotic Good not-quite-angels/not-quite-demons can play on the world. And they do. They always do.

*You can tell which of our glorious disaster-enbies led on that one by the style of the song. If it’s Aziraphale, it’s Mozart opera, G&S operetta, Indian classical, plainchant, or at a pinch something particularly poignant and Baroque. If it’s Crowley, it’s anything from Queen to Hozier to a fricking Scottish murder ballad with horrifyingly cheery chorus. If it’s Noel Coward it could be either of them. If it’s “The Sound of Music” it’s a) Crowley, and b) you can be sure Aziraphale has recently pissed him off.

[kiingbiing-deactivated20250611]

OK BOOMER

[earthvisuals]

The practice hunts then the pounce 😹

[homerunwebaddress]

Don’t worry, guys. I made a compilation of the best Griffin McElroy vines, so everything is going to be okay

[a-land-lacking-sleep]

I finally have context for this image and that makes it so much better

[forestwater87]

Dirty Kevin Joins a Cult (a kevdan fanfic)

Chapter 1: In which Kevin makes yet another bad decision

“-- But they are a fundamental part of the history of this great planet, a planet that we all know was rescued from the Negabytes’ Fortress, by the all-powerful Xemüg!”

Kevin was beginning to regret elbowing his way into the crowd; what had seemed from the window of Muffin Tops like an interesting diversion was obviously a lot weirder than he’d anticipated. “Is he still talking about the Wood Scouts?” he muttered to the person next to him, only turning when a flicker of maroon streaked into the corner of his vision -- a color he’d know anywhere, saw in his dreams. Associated so thoroughly with shame and longing that before his mind registered it, his heart ached with a stab of yearning that momentarily ripped the breath from his chest.

“Lee --” he began, his mouth opening even before he’d fully turned around, The splash of burgundy was further away now, a short, frizzy ponytail and the profile of a familiarly annoyed face. Not noticing him, she reached up, tightened her ponytail with a sharp yank, and disappeared into the crowd as it began to disperse.

Gwen, right. The little sister. He’d heard she was back in town, working at one of the camps.

Without her brother, Leon.

Which was super fine, not to mention normal and in no way utterly devastating. (And Dirty Kevin now had zero intentions of abandoning all his plans for the evening to go home and blubber over a pint of ice cream about ghosts from high school.)

Get it together, you fucking disaster.

He groaned inwardly and turned back to the small barrel that served as the town’s open-air stage --

“Why, hello there!”

-- ending up nose-to-nose with the man who’d just been up there, rambling about popcorn and history and Xemüg.

“Jesus Christ!” He stumbled back -- nearly knocking over a tiny old woman with a crippling (and lucrative) opioid addiction. “Sorry, Helen,” he mumbled breathlessly, righting himself and trying to control his galloping heart rate before turning his attention back to the blond stranger. “What d’you want?” You absolute freak.

He cocked his head to the side, smiling widely. “My name is Daniel,” he said, slowly enunciating each word like the host of a children’s show, and Kevin got the immediate sense he was being fucked with. “And something about you caught my eye, so I just had to say hello!”

“Something.” Yeah, something like yelling his ex’s name in the middle of a crowd of people. “So . . . hi. I should go.”

“Don’t be in such a hurry!” Daniel’s fingers closed around his wrist, his grip frigid and brittle and surprisingly strong. “You look like someone who has a lot of negativity in your life, Kevin.”

He froze.

Keep reading

[forestwater87]

Also there’s a chapter 2, in which Daniel thinks the phrase “thick thighs save lives” and wants to ascend himself and everyone else with him.

[somecutething]

[laerugo]

[colorfulspacemarines]

“You also said words that I didn’t understand, which made me feel like the food was better than me”

-Matt Bragg

[popsunner]

So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”

To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”

I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.

[popsunner]

Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.

I thought that would be the end of it.

Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular. 

But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’

[popsunner]

So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-

My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”

And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack

[popsunner]

Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left

[popsunner]

Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”

And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah

[popsunner]

Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”

And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me