Dreams

[hoping-for-meaningless]

I dreamed that George came to WCTC to shoot me. I was in the building and saw him walking around outside with one of his kids, a son that wasn’t Kyle. At some point I found a map of the school that had classrooms and sections of the building blocked out that he’d discovered I didn’t have class. I went back to my car and he was in the backseat, waiting for me. I ended up in the backseat while his son was in the driver’s seat. George pulled out a gun and I grabbed it, trying to keep it pointed away from me. I pulled a kitchen knife out of my pocket and slid it between his ribs, but it had no effect, so we wrestled with the gun and I eventually got it pointing at him and shot him through the throat. His face turned to one of surprise, but he didn’t die. I shot him twice more, once through the throat and once through the face, before he died. I ran away and was suddenly at Paupac, hiding out in one of the cabins. I eventually called the police and said “I need the police, I killed someone.” It was around 7pm. The operator told me that it was the end of his shift and he didn’t feel like dealing with it, so they weren’t going to send anyone. “Are you serious?” I asked. “I just killed someone and you’re not going to send anyone?” So they did, and I apologized for making them stay past the end of their shift. 

I woke up after that part of the dream, and some time later when I went back to sleep, the dream continued slightly differently. I “woke up” in kind of a post-apocalyptic universe where George was a big bad man and I was part of his harem. I’d been asleep for many years, but now that I was awake, George was coming to see me. The dream ended with me hiding from him and him discovering me. 

[hoping-for-meaningless]

I dreamed both George and Dad started drinking again.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

I dreamed that Dad had started drinking again. I went over to his house and he was crying, saying that I should feel bad for him and that his relapse was inevitable. I was crying too because I knew that I would have to cut him off - and knew he realized this would be a consequence and did it anyway. I walked north on River Road and heard Donnie’s voice. He said basically that there are much worse things that could happen and that I had no excuse to be so sad. I kept walking and walking and eventually woke up.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Mom and I got into some kind of fight and she told me that my dad wasn’t actually my dad, that she had slept with an unknown uncle and that I was his child. I got very angry/sad and ran outside (for some reason we were at dad’s house). I walked to the path that used to cut through the prairie in back of the Pecott’s neighbor’s house. A man came out of the house and attacked me. I tried pepper spraying him and hitting him but neither had any effect. 

Later on this same guy was trying to kill me. I was also someone else and he fucked her/me in the ass and then the vagina and made her/me felch before shooting me in the vagina. He kept me around to fuck again later.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Susanna and I were in some kind of cabin with dad. We were meeting his girlfriend’s sons, but the girlfriend wasn’t Bonnie and I didn’t recognize the sons. I was talking and my nose started to bleed so I left and went to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror I had red marks all down my neck and very dark circles under my eyes. I went out back and many of my belongings were piled next to a porch connected to the cabin. I took a drying fox head that I had sewn some kind of object into and hid it under the porch before going back inside. When I returned I found out that the sons’ dad had just been attacked and the boys were going out to find whoever had done it. They were just about to go out the door when I said, “I want to come.” They said, “No. This is something we just need to do.” Without hesitating, I responded, “Can I watch.” They said yes and I went with them and attacked a group of people but it was with magic so they were fine somehow.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Really fast - paced dream. Lots of disturbing sex stuff but the worst was when I was raping a beautiful man without a mouth. I'm disgusted.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Driving on the interstate with Mom and Susanna. Animals are running across the road and Mom is swerving to avoid hitting them. Someone else hits a dog. It tries to get up, but can’t. It starts crawling toward me and screaming/crying “I’m right here” in a young girl’s voice. Help. Come find me. I’m scared. Don’t go.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Don't ever do that, okay? I'll take you out of school and bring you back here and make your life perfect before you do that.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Laying on my back, naked, on a bed with Alex. He comments on how thin I am and touches my hip bones to demonstrate. Protruding from my pelvis are rib - like bones, covered in fleshy purple skin. He touches them and I feel nothing. I am just a body in this dream.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

At dad's house, in living room. I was having some discomfort walking and looked at the bottoms of my feet. There were craters and holes in it, debris inside the holes and stuck in the sores. When I moved my foot I could see things moving in the holes, resembling Styrofoam beads but the color of my skin. I don't and didn't know what they were. It was horrifying and grotesque and I called for dad. He asked, "why did you let it get this bad?!" I said I thought it was normal. I asked him to take me to the doctor. Susanna came over to where I was sitting on the green footstool and saw the foot I had propped up on my other knee. I only ever saw my right foot, so maybe it wasn't originally both feet. Either way, she saw it and said, "Eva..." the way she does when I pick at my skin. I looked back to my foot and saw that the instep now had a gaping, wet, pulpy wound in it. It looked like my foot had been opened slowly, cutting a ragged hole in the muscle layer by layer. I pressed my finger into the deepest part and it sank farther in with little resistance. Blood welled up around my finger but the rest of the gash wasn't bleeding.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Woke up in the field up the hill at the farm. Corn had been harvested, only short stalks sticking out of the ground. I walked through the field and came across a black pile of strangely shaped objects that looked like charcoal. Mushrooms grew out if the ground in the gaps between the black things - now look like branches and bones. I looked more and saw the severed, rotting, mutilated head of a large dog. I was looking at a pile of burned and rotting animal corpses.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Fell from a great height. Saw the ground getting closer and closer so I turned to face the sky. I knew I was going to die and I felt fear, helplessness, strangely resigned at the same time. I waited to hit the ground. When I finally did it was like suddenly sinking, no impact, with the water slowing me down. I tore through some kind of barrier when I died. I could see above me through the ground I’d passed through a veil of black sky and stars. I quickly sank and as I did the frame grew brighter and brighter until it was just a far-off point of white light against total blackness. Like my other dream of dying, I felt nothing. No emotions.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Tickling in left calf like rls. I squeezed an abcess and huge, winged ants poured out. No pain, just horror.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Raped by Hector. After he turned into a boy I don't know. Had to convince sieger, the presiding Adult, that it wasn't my fault. As I walked away down a flight of stairs leaving the boy to be punished, he called out to me, "I love you." I stopped but didn't look back. To myself I said "no, you don't," and kept walking.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Pursued by some kind of friend-turned-supernatural-predator. First he was after just me but then he found my dream sister. I begged him to kill her quickly. "Do whatever you want to me, just please kill her quickly." I was very afraid. He microwaved her (?) and was about to tear me apart slowly when I woke up.

[hoping-for-meaningless]

Sometimes guys come in here from like Madison or Milwaukee or some shit and get a rewards card with us and I'm like ??? Am I so beautiful that you're doing this to bask in my radiance a few extra moments or is Ace Hardware truly your go-to destination for fishing licenses and grill accessories?

[hoping-for-meaningless]

I had just given birth to a son. He was beautiful and I was so filled with joy. His appearance immediately started changing, first getting beauty marks and then turning his eyes from blue to green. Hector was the father but it didn’t look like it and it wasn’t a very important detail. In the dream, I thought “I guess I was lying to the doctor when I said I’d never been pregnant. ” Dr Titel had asked me that during an appointment two days ago. My son was so like me, somehow. I said, “When you look at him, he looks back.” This was amazing to me, that an infant - my infant - was looking at people as they looked at him. At this point his eyes were dark brown or black.