A hack of John Harper’s Lasers & Feelings with stat names from @littleguysdaily
This game is licensed under a CC BY-NC-SA license
You are attending Dashcon 2. Your mission is to appreciate the color of the sky, post Misha, and defend the poor against piss. The con venue has fallen down a puddle into eeby deeby, leaving you all to fend for yourselves and find a way out. Welcome to the twisted mind of our beloved hellsite.
This 13+ RPG is exceedingly small and easy to run, and requires 2+ players and 1-3 6-sided dice (or an online dice roller like this one).
Players: Create Characters
Choose a cosplay for your character: sharpie-stained Homestuck Troll, twinkified Sexyman (gender neutral), Personified Website, OC Do Not Steal, Furry, Blorbo from my fandom, or Cinnamon Roll.
Choose a role for your character: Aesthetic Curator, Fan Artist / Author, Gimmick Blogger, Shitpost Connoisseur, Guardian of the Kid, Time traveler who aimed for Dashcon 1 and missed, or very lost cowboy.
Choose your number, from 2 to 5. A high number means you are better at Media Literacy (It's exactly what it says on the tin.) A low number means you’re better at Splorpability (Are you familiar with Plato's Theory of Forms? Think of Splorpability as being nothing like that.)
Give your character a cool Tumblr URL. Like @pizza or something.
Clothing and Equipment: The Toe Necklace, bone hurting juice, a White Gilgamesh, the president's shoelaces, a fluffy chicken, or vanilla extract.
Player goal: Get your character involved in crazy dashcon adventures and try to make your way back to the mysterious land of Toronto, Canada.
Character goal: Choose one or create your own: bang out the tunes with Neil, enroll in Tumblr University, seek an orb to ponder, find your three weed smoking girlfriends, stick your middle finger up at preps, adopt a clown for its meat, or get dicked down again =/
Players: Create the Con Location
Everypony, pick Two Strengths for the venue: abundant clown population, ein cave full of blüntsmoken, home of a small god (a la The God of Arepo), good use of color theory, chambers for tests, cravable minerals, or deeply unprofitable.
Also, pick One Problem: fuckin wimdy, a new dog park (do not approach the dog park), plagued by lemon stealing whores, or glitchy as usual.
Rolling the Dice
When you do something risky, roll 1d6 to find out how it goes. Roll +1d if you’re prepared and +1d if you’re an expert. (The GM tells you how many dice to roll, based on your character and the situation.) Roll your dice and compare each die result to your number.
⇧If you’re using Media Literacy (It's exactly what it says on the tin,) you want to roll under your number
⇩If you’re using Splorpability (Are you familiar with Plato's Theory of Forms? Think of Splorpability as being nothing like that;) you want to roll over your number.
0 If none of your dice succeed, it goes wrong. The GM says how things get worse somehow.
1 If one die succeeds, it you barely manage it. The GM inflicts a complication, harm, or cost.
2 If two dice succeed, you do it well. Good job!
3 If three dice succeed, you get a critical success! The GM tells you some extra effect you get.
! If you roll your number exactly, you hear a Strange Croak! You get a special insight into what’s going on. Ask the GM a question and they’ll answer you honestly. Some good questions:
What are they really feeling? Who’s behind this? How could I get them to do what I want? What should I be on the lookout for? What’s the best way to do this thing? What’s really going on here?
You can change your action if you want to, then roll again.
Helping: If you want to help someone else who’s rolling, say how you try to help and make a roll. If you succeed, give them +1d.
GM: Oh, just one more thing…
Roll or choose on the tables below to add a complication to the PC's goal of getting home.
A Threat
Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson
The Onceler
Weird Ad Pikachu Guy
Ea Nasir
Father Strange
The Croaker
Wants to
Pee in the Dashcon Ball Pit
Contract Rabies
Throw horses down the Plinko board
Sell you to One Direction
Eat over 10,000 spiders in a day
Win a duel against (roll threat again)
Which will
Cancel Dashcon 2
Sew more chaos than Destiel Putin Election day
Get Scrappy Doo killed in Miami (hes alright)
Erase the movie Goncharov (1973) from existence
Give you up, let you down, run around and desert you
Make staff delete the entire site. syonara you weeaboo shits!
GM: Run the Game
Play to find out how they defeat the threat. Introduce the threat by showing evidence of its recent badness. Before a threat does something to the characters, show signs that it’s about to happen, then ask what they do.
Call for a roll when the situation is uncertain. Don’t pre-plan outcomes. Let the chips fall where they may. Use failures to push the action forward. The situation always changes after a roll, for good or ill.
Whats up gamers in honor of @the-muppet-joker 's death at the hands of the mighty @strange-aeons i have crucified a kermit joker (as represented by the darker shade of green and the bloody lips) to forever remember this day. Behold my creation and weep for the fallen
titsay
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
dailybridgerton
