Love Begins
pixel skylines
untitled
The Stonewall Inn
Monterey Bay Aquarium
oozey mess
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
RMH
EXPECTATIONS
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shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap
The Bowery Presents
PR's Tumblrdome
izzy's playlists!
@theartofmadeline
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titsay
Product Placement
macklin celebrini has autism
seen from Singapore
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@hotgrandpa54
The Forrest Gump Syndrome (Excerpt from “Hot Grandpa: A Boomer’s Adventures in Cyber Dating”) Now, let’s examine the following quote: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.” Monsieur Gump’s ab
The Forrest Gump Syndrome
Being Liam Neeson (Jump-Starting Your Inner Alpha Male) I always thought of myself as your average, regular guy. Well, except for the fact that I’m not into sports and would rather watch Project Runway than American Ninja. Oh, and I have way
Being Liam Neeson
Where’s the Chocolate Chip Cookies? When do I finally decide enough is enough, abandon Macy’s, and start buying clothes in bulk at Costco? Is there a magical age one reaches when the desire for a waist size that’s less than the size o
Where's the Chocolate Chip Cookies?
Fungi, Clowns and Crazy I had my first visit to a psychiatrist today. And no, I am not crazy unless you count the time I left the house wearing a pair of red jeans and brown tee with a mushroom on the front that said “I’m a Fungi.” I say it
Fungi, Clowns and Crazy
Singin’ in the Rain Unless you’ve been living under a rock or get your news from Honey Boo Boo, most of you know we Californians are having water woes; a severe drought to be specific. So as a loyal native (not to be confused with the
Singin' in the Rain
I Want to Look Like Heidi Klum… … but I’m 5’2”, brunette and 50. The above statement was made by my wife in response to my desire to have the body of a 20-year-old male model, complete with a six pack and buns of steel. My
I Want to Look Like Heidi Klum
Let’s talk statistics. . Generally, I find most of them boring and a complete waste of time, but occasionally they are giggle worthy. Example: Statistics say that one in four people are insane. So take a look at your three BFF’s and
Statistically Speaking
Most have heard the old saying “People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.” Pretty simple concept, I think. Don’t call your friend an idiot for wearing tie-dyed t-shirts and listening to the Grateful Dead if you’re following Just
Big Bro
Let’s Get Physical Greetings cyber-space cowboys, it is I, Hot Grandpa back with more thought-provoking tidbits guaranteed to make you wonder just who is out there and do they really think we might taste like chicken. Funny Fitness
Let's Get Physical
Live long and prosper my lonely cyber- cadets. I applaud you as you search the outer reaches of cyber-space and beyond in an attempt to find truth, justice and good Chinese take-out. Been pondering this whole alien thing (outer space ones, not
Klaatu Barada Nikto
To Serve Man
Hello, my Web-wondering whippersnappers. I am back to doing what I do best; looking at the world through woes-colored glasses, and seeking out humor amid the overall craziness that seems to have invaded our planet like the pods from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”
Bonnie (my better ¾’s) and I, lately have had spirited discussions regarding “Customer Service” or the lack there of. It seems that good old customer service is a dying art, seemingly lost on a large portion of the populace. Could this have something to do with the increasing dependence on social media and the tendency to conduct personal interaction on a tiny screen with a tiny keyboard where one might say anything one wishes without getting punched in the nose real-time? This fascinating subject came up as we were listening to two employees at an upscale burger joint argue about tips while we stood at the register waiting to pay our bill.
Now, I want to say something without sounding like an old geezer, but I am an old (although nicely dressed and coiffed) geezer, so I will attempt to spit it out without drooling on myself.
Why, back in my day…
Napkin, please.
Open letter to America’s waiters and waitresses:
Dear Tammy and Troy,
I am choosing to spend my hard-earned money in the place where you work to be treated special. I can stay at home in a pair of threadbare boxers and be like the Invisible Man. Wait. Come to think of it, having you wait on me is actually just like being at home. My own kids also ignore me, speak only in grunts and broken sentences, and they want me to pay them, too.
Get off the iPhone and make me a sandwich.
Sincerely, Hot Grandpa
After 6 sessions with my therapist we discovered I am an external processor. That $1000 bucks worth of "you talk to much".
First Lady to Launch New “GreenTeen” Program
Posted 6/11/14
By H. Grandpa
In an effort to stem the growing teen obesity problem and provide new green jobs for the millions of teens who have been displaced in the entry level fast food job market by the growing immigrant work force, First Lady, Michelle Obama, is heading up a new program aptly named “GreenTeen”.
According to a White House press release, the new program revolves around getting teens off computers and onto a modern version of the “rickshaw”, so popular in other countries. Teens across the country would be issued a government owned rickshaw which would be leased for a nominal fee plus interest, thus not only promoting physical fitness, but also teaching the teens how to manage finances. Each rickshaw would also have ample space for advertising, “the ads alone would bring millions of dollars into the government coffers,” one spokesman said.
Teens would be generously paid a new $2.00 an hour GreenTeen sliding scale, minimum wage which would fluctuate up or down depending on the teens weight. “The whole idea,” Mrs. Obama was quoted as saying, “Is to motivate the chubby kids to make more healthy choices.”
An unnamed union source within the Genovese organization said, "The teens would be required to join the Taxi Drivers Association at a reduced rate until their eighteenth birthday at which time they would be afforded all the rights, privileges and protection of any other card carrying member." A special rickshaw driver’s license would also be issued and monitored by the DMV, who would regulate license and registration matters along with other environmental fees.
The program is set to roll out in Washington DC this month when all low level government employees will be returning their state issued vehicles and be assigned a “GreenTeen” in its place.
“We are really pleased with this new initiative,” U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said yesterday. “We are seriously considering issuing GreenTeen’s to all congressional and senate members. I mean, who couldn’t use another intern, am I right?”
Expect this new “GreenTeen” program to ride into your state in the near future.
Disgruntled employee exit
McDonald’s to follow Seattle’s Lead
Posted June 5, 2014
By H. Grandpa
Just as news of Seattle’s plan to begin raising the minimum wage to $15.00, burger giant McDonalds is tossing its own clown into the ring by doing something analysts were sure would never happen; raise the wages paid to its employees. As one of the largest employers in the world, McDonald’s not only chose to follow Washington States lead, but have upped the ante in an attempt to ward off any future boycotts by the hundreds of thousands employees who daily serve the billions the fast food chain claims on its signs.
A spokesman for the company explained that the minimum wages paid would be bolstered by the addition of “Happy Bucks” that could be used to purchase items off the extensive menu, which when added to the current wage would bring the new hourly wage up near the $20.00 mark. “Employees are pretty thrilled about this new program,” an unnamed manager was quoted as saying.
On a side note, Civil Rights Lawyer Gloria Allred is filing a class-action lawsuit on behalf of the predominantly Catholic workforce. Allred said, “We won’t be happy until the Fish Sandwich is included in the deal.”
Cardboard camo suit. [video]
Love this
Men are like an organ grinder’s monkey. Scratch us behind the ears, occasionally pat us on the back, throw us a peanut, play us beautiful music from the depths of your heart, and we’ll dance through life, fill your little tin cup to overflowing, and lay glittery baubles at your feet, all the while grinning like a freakin’ idiot.
Hot Grandpa: A Baby Boomer's Adventures in Cyber-Dating
