It's all or nothing

des. 22. selective.

[houscofmusings]

.....so in case u haven’t noticed, I’ve been hella busy.

I’m going to try and get to replies next week or weekend. I’ve been actively preparing for multiple graduate school interviews. I’m trying to get that worry out of the way before I get back to this blog.

Thanks for the patience ilu all.

[fyeahjeleanor]

[ofstxrdust-blog]

@houscofmusings

[mouseremote147863456]

[thequeensxgambit]

@houscofmusings

[451seconds]

You,” she whispers. “You make it so damned hard to hate you.

H.L. // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #37 (via 451seconds)

@videogcmes @rvse-gvld

(via khcleesis)

@houscofmusings

(via ofstxrdust)

[dizzygrinning]

Lilly Singh Get Dizzy

[rcstart-deactivated20200405]

give me a m/m or f/f plot where both of them aren’t out to their parents yet and spend nights at each other’s houses. their parents think they’re just being teenagers and doing whatever best friends do when they’re actually making out and having sex and all that throughout the night and it’s just a lot of “stop moaning so loud, you’re going to wake everyone” and teasing them behind their family’s back when they’re not looking

[houscofmusings]

crcwdedplaces:

monica’s face fell. “oh, crap. i’m sorry. i didn’t know.” it was an absurd thing to say; there was no way she could have known that the woman was allergic to eggs. nonetheless, she lowered the tupperware with a dejected gate. but she quickly forced the expression away in favor of a smile. “really? that’s great! and yes, i’m absolutely offering.” she bit down on her lower lip, hard, to suppress the excitement that flooded out. she couldn’t read sonam for the life of her, but she wanted to believe that the other’s acceptance might indicate that she was at least half-interested in monica’s dramatic display of gratitude, and she highly doubted that over-excitement would ease that process of hesitant acceptance. so she forced her emotions down as she slipped past the other, eyes moving slowly over the better view of her residence. she set the tupperware down on a side table as she glanced around with interest and stopped short, unsure of where to direct herself. “it’s not really an obsession so much,” monica blurted. she turned back to sonam and dipped her hands into her back pockets. “well. i guess… it comes off that way, doesn’t it? but i think… if you don’t think it was a big deal, that makes me want to thank you that much more. ‘cause that means you don’t realize just how important what you did was. for me. for other people, too, i guess.”

monica’s apology piqued the cop’s interest, but sonam still refused to acknowledge it. the other was fairly young and not necessarily her type. people who reminded her of sunshine always deserved way better than the cloudy skies she offered. “it’s fine, now you know, don’t kill me.” if monica opened up her fridge, her lie would be discovered in seconds, but that didn’t faze sonam. she wasn’t quite used to the attention the other wanted to give her. she would take anyway to deflect the attention. “you can follow me.” she could sense monica’s hesitation at where to go. briefly, sonam appreciated the woman’s lack of curiosity. most people would have stormed right in with no problem. the hallway that contained the front door was fairly short. once they reached the end of it, sonam deviated to the right, where the kitchen and balcony were located. “everything you need for utensils is in the wood block by the stove and all the ingredients are in various cabinets.” she settled down in a chair by the sliding door of her balcony. “it does come off that way. i’m still unsure how you got my address...” sonam was positive her buddies were practically giggling their asses off in the office at this point. “well, you shouldn’t thank me. i’ve probably shot as many people as i have saved.” she wasn’t trying to be modest; sonam was trying to be realistic. there was absolutely no need for this behavior, but if monica wanted to carry on, she was more than happy to watch it all unfold. 

[houscofmusings]

ofstxrdust:

he was right; she didn’t get to dictate what he felt. because if she did, she would have made him love her for real by now. but the longer this went on the less confident she became in all of it; in herself, in him, in them. no one understood why she bothered, why she tried, so she had long since stopped trying to explain why she stayed. but she was starting to feel like she shouldn’t keep staying, and that feeling terrified her. “then tell me i’m wrong.” again, she was begging, knowing she was pathetic but past the point of caring anymore. “tell me you do, then, tell me you love me.” but parker wasn’t even sure she could believe him if he said it; she didn’t feel loved.  his reaction took her by surprise, as she hadn’t expected him to give in. she had expected him to yell again, to turn it all back on her. “i don’t want to.” she wanted to leave in the moment but that all went back to her anger; she wouldn’t want to once she calmed down, even though maybe it was the right thing to do. “you know i don’t want to. i want us to work.” it broke her own heart to hear how defeated she was but there was nothing she could do. “but i can’t stay if it doesn’t stop. i won’t stay if this is all it’s ever gonna be; if all we’re gonna do is fight and all you’re going to do is hurt me i can’t stay.” 

you’re wrong. the words were right there at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t force them out, forcing them out would mean that victor would have to own up to everything he felt for parker. everything that he strived to forget. he couldn’t force the very words that would end the motto he had built for himself. never fall in love. parker took that motto and slammed it against the very core of his being. he knew exactly what she was asking from him, but the rigid boy could do nothing more than glare over her shoulder. “i can’t do that, parker, you know i can’t.” his tone was exhausted. the mental fight he was having raged on. he knew that she was the closest thing to love he had, but he couldn’t say it. “i’m not going to tell you what you want to hear.” victor knew he was being selfish. he was putting his own needs in front of hers, but what else was new? the more parker stood up to him, the more victor seemed to shrink into himself. letting her go sounded good for both of their sakes, but he couldn’t stand the sight of her walking away. every time parker did that, whatever was between them shrank. “i don’t know how to do anything else for you. i hurt you and you hurt me back. that’s how it is. things between us have never been easy and i’m not sure i even know what to do to heal it.”

[bvlmains]

a couple of f/f plots that i would love okay thanks !!

church girl from a posh, conservative christian family with the double life of a reveller with a drug problem meets cute bad girl whom charms her into trouble

two sex workers who work at the same club gradually become close after cigarette breaks and bitching about customers together

two dancers in direct competition for the top spot at their prestigious ballet academy

[houscofmusings]

thequeensxgambit:

“Of course we’re allowed to eat together but I’m much more used to you eating me than us actually sharing food that you so nicely paid for.” Evan was smiling with a slight air of smugness that complimented Makayla’s own cheeky expression. “So no I’m not saying I should have turned it down. Don’t be stupid.” She tilted her head back and looked at the other with a half lidded laziness. She was surprising herself with how easily she could just kick back and relax. Evan was a tightly wound spring and had been for many years now. The constant battles with her identity, social status and family livelihood had made her in to a person with too much pride. The snark and hot headedness had just been a side symptom of the way she’d grown up. Mak certainly knew the extent of her bite and bark. “I’m really sure I’ll live, don’t worry. I won’t be too much of a cold body by the time I get back. Well not more than I already am.” She shrugged and went to lean forward to grab a prawn cracker off the table. As she moved back she felt Mak flick her ponytail and crinkled her nose, nibbling on the cracker with a furrowed expression. “When you’re born in the wilderness you’re always ready for snow.” She stated simply, an almost fond smile spreading across her lips as she chewed. She missed her home and the quiet life on the farm. She missed stirring in the morning and seeing the high ceiling of her roof decorated with stars and fairy lights. She’d be able to hear the soft breathing of her dog at her feet and visit the horses just after day break. Her mom and dad would be so happy to have her home. She couldn’t say the same for someone else in her family because a fight was inevitable on that front if she ever dared to show her stupid face. Lazily she tossed the rest of the prawn cracker on to the table and pushed her body up. Fairly easily she pressed herself forward and swung her leg over Mak’s thighs, perching herself in her lap. “And what are you gonna do without me here, hmm?” That trademark smirk spread across her lip and she leant forward to press her lips to Mak’s sharp jaw. The fabric of Mak’s soft t-shirt rose up her bare thighs. “You’ll probably go stir crazy without our daily sexercise. And I know you’ll probably wank a lot anyway but it’s not quite as energetic.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it. I’m still expecting you for dessert, too.” It was becoming harder for Makayla not to associate the things they were doing with stupid couple things. Back a few months ago, one-night stands were constant. Angry fucking in public places when they saw each other, totally constant. There was not a damn thing they did that could be misconstrued. Things were quite different now. A few naps here and there. More talking, less hate-fucking. There was a constant reminder in the back of Mak’s mind that maybe this was as impossible as she had imagined. Not that she would ever voice this, though. Her analyses were strictly confined to the walls of her own skull. “Well that’s good to hear. I’d had to have to use gloves just to finger fuck you.” As they continued with the snow talk, Mak’s face contorted in disgust, not quite liking the idea of cold ice everywhere. She had pretty much grown up in warm environments that hardly warranted snow. They’d get the occasional snow, but that was all the exposure she needed to develop a distaste for it. “The wilderness? Were you raised among the wolves, too?” Even the way Mak tease Evan had started to take on a warmer tone. Much less bitterness, more genuine fun. Subtle changes even the swimmer hadn’t noticed yet. Before she knew it, a beautiful woman had taken over her previously empty lap. The swimmer’s hands settled onto Evan’s hips,tight grip holding her in place. A shaky breath slipped from her lips, not quite wanting to think about how boring life was bound to get. Her fingers slipped from the other’s hips up the thin fabric of her shirt. Mak took her time slipping her fingers over every rib so delicately she could practically count them. They stopped just below the other’s breast. If anything was going to happen, she was going to take her time, and remember the feeling of Evan’s heated skin. She needed some sort of remembrance to keep her going throughout the break. “You’re not necessarily wrong...” Mak was past the point of denial, especially when the skin she touched felt like home at this point. “I’m going to miss how you looking when you orgasm.” She couldn’t help but lift Evan’s shirt even more, exposing the bottom of her bare stomach. “I’m going to miss those damn moans of yours.” She worked the hockey player’s shirt up more before bending down to place soft kisses along the exposed flesh. “I’ll wank a lot, don’t you worry. Might even send you nice videos when I get bored.”

[houscofmusings]

thequeensxgambit:

One thing that Roxie had very quickly noticed about Winnie was that one, she was breathtakingly beautiful and two, she was practically insatiable when it came to her lust. From the very first night where Roxie had worshipped Winnie’s body for hours and hours until it had succumbed every atom and fibre to her touch, Roxie had realised that this was possibly the best thing that have ever happened to her. Looking at Winnie was like staring in to the sun or riding the best high of her life without the comedown. Waking up next to the younger woman was peace and serenity in a world of broken humans and devastation. Yet, Roxie knew the depth of her mind and while Winnie easily consumed most of it, there were the other addictions that crawled beneath her pasty skin. Stories that scrawled themselves between the pinprick scars on her arms. The cigarette burns on her thighs. The bruises that would never fade completely. “You know how much I like the idea of showing you off. Seeing you get pleasure is….incredible.” She admitted with a soft breath as she trapped her cigarette between her lips, smirking at the thought. She took a long drag and without lifting the cigarette away from her mouth she blew out the smoke again. “I was going to. Just a dab or two…” She shrugged and then suddenly a look of curiosity spread over her features. “Well you know that I’d happily have you here forever if I could.” It wasn’t hard for her to admit such honest things. She wasn’t ashamed of how quickly she’d grown attached to the other woman. It was simple to admit how endearing and intriguing she found her personality. She wanted to give Winnie the world but she didn’t exactly have much to give. So she worshipped the ground she walked on, turned the dank bedroom and sheets in to a sanctuary where Roxie could focus on nothing but her. “You want to try some….?” She sounded almost surprised as she set the still smoking cigarette in a nearby ashtray and opened the baggie. “It’s strong shit, Win. Makes you feel like you’re the Queen of ya own castle.  An’ when it stops working it ain’t exactly pretty.” And….she couldn’t keep being hypocritical. It was her own way of life. “Maybe ya should ease yourself in….I got some weed or i’ve probably got some E lying around somewhere. That shit would make you fuck like a bunny on steroids. Not that you don’t already. Gotta love a pussy that can’t get enough….” Maybe she was a little concerned for Winnie. Roxie hated herself for the drugs she consumed but she couldn’t turn her back on them. She never would. She’d been only a child when she’d taken her first hit. “But if you’re sure I ain’t gonna say no. An’ I’ll be here the whole time in case you get too wavy.” 

“Yeah? You should show me off more than.” Winnie murmured, her head lolling off to the side to rest against the other’s shoulder. The odd thing about Roxie was how easy their connection had been. Sure it was tough at first. It was hard catching the other’s eye, but it paid off gloriously. The mind blowing sex coupled with a brilliant mind? It was easy for the actress to see where this was heading. As long as she pretended the needle marks on Roxie’s arm was filled with nothing but self-love, she was absolutely fine. The other woman could clearly handle herself. Winnie’s hand slide down the other’s torso, resting at the base of Roxie’s stomach. Even when they were lying in bed, she still tangled herself up in the other woman. She could sit here and make-up their own little world together. “Hmm...what is it?” Before Roxie her life had been an endless repetition of boring nights. Repeated fucks that ended in failure, abuse at the hands of her father, and listening to dumbass pick up lines while bartending. Now things were only going up. Her sexual fantasies were coming true one step at a time. New drugs were being introduced into the picture. She was too blinded by the light she saw in Roxie to think about any potential consequences. Attachment was a gloriously dangerous thing. “Maybe you can. It’s not like I have much to go home to.” An actual home? She had dreamed about that for awhile. Winnie let out a soft sigh, lifting her head from the other’s shoulder to peer curiously at the content of the baggie. She trusted Roxie enough to know the other woman would take care of her. There were no ifs about that. “I think so, yeah.” Then, as an afterthought to the other’s surprise, she lifted her hands to squeeze at Roxie’s cheeks. “Don’t sound so surprised. I see you having all this fun, maybe I want to join in.” She didn’t necessarily see the big deal. Weren’t all drugs pretty strong anyways? How bad could it really be? Winnie had stopped squeezing the other’s cheeks, but her hands still remained, softly cupping Roxie’s cheeks. “Let’s be the Queens of our own castle. It might not be a pretty comedown alone, but we can help each other out, yeah?” The other woman was bound to give in. There was nothing she denied Winnie. If the girl would have asked her to go to a store ten miles away for some damn ice cream flavor, Roxie would probably do it happily. There was no sense in even pretending like she wasn’t going to get her way. “I don’t want weed. I don’t want E,” She whined softly as she accented the words with tiny kisses to Roxie’s jawline. “I want to have fun with you, baby.” It was all she truly wanted. A new little fantasy world where they could pretend to live in some penthouse together. She wanted to feel her skin prickle like Roxie talked about constantly. She wanted to become some floating star in the middle of a fucked up universe. A self-contained explosion of pure energy. “I want this with you, let me have it.” 

[houscofmusings]

ofstxrdust:

tristan was only by himself because preston was sick. but even then, he did only really have one friend. he just preferred to be alone, interacting with people was nervewracking. tristan had just barely opened his sketchbook to work when someone sat beside him, taking him by surprise. tristan slowly shut the book as the guy next to him started talking. he’d seen him before, and he knew they had a class together, but they’d never really spoke before. “i don’t brood,” he commented quietly, sounding a bit confused. did he? he never did it on purpose. ‘what do you need my help with?”

“you don’t brood? okay, let’s go with that.” kadin teased lightly, a friendly smile never once leaving his face. the last thing he wanted was to offend tristan with a poor joke. “okay, so i have this idea...” with that, the actor pulled a notebook from his pocket, half of the pages seemed to be on their last leg. “i need a couple sets designed for me and i think you’re the type of man i need in my life.” another careless slip of his tongue, but the flirting came as a natural habit. “it’s for a play called the black swan, if you’re familiar with it?”

[houscofmusings]

sleepwalkcr:

     torrance couldn’t get a read on them. or maybe it was a little hard to believe that they’d be so amused over the situation at hand. it was like they had a perfect answer or response for everything torrance said. her defenses weren’t down, they weren’t down, but it was becoming harder for her to feel threaten. the worst part was that torrance couldn’t piece together what was happening and why. as much as she thrived on being the kind of person that dived head first, all in, into a body of the unknown, she couldn’t say she was a fan of being handcuffed to a chair inside a place she didn’t know and without valid pretenses. at least admit she fucked someone’s wife, fuck. torrance eyed the other as if she had just lost her head, not unexpecting ( let alone understanding ) the string of laughter that validified her gut clutch. “your surprise offends me,” torrance dryly replied, slumping into the chair that she sat upon and allowing her body to restore its energy that it was running low on at that moment. of course she had brains, even if she did perform dumb acts. when the question of remembrance came into the picture, torrance really tried. she really tried to put a name to the face as her head tilted in thought, eyes slanting as if that would help the memory part of her brain operate better. she’s tempted to ask the other to take off her shirt as that would help jog her memory, but bite back on that witty remark. she was still banking on making it out of that room alive. not having the motivation to lie about it, torrance’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek as she tsk’d lowly, her head shaking. “sorry, sweetheart. it’s like i said, i’ve broken lots of hearts.” torrance paused to let her demeanor fall back to that of a cocky one. if fear wasn’t going to get her out of that situation, then she’d rely on her natural charm as a plan b. “but i’d love to make up for it however way i can.”

god, torrance was just as stubborn as she had always been. nothing had changed in the absence that had been between them. that much was incredibly obvious and myeong’s heart throbbed harder in her chest. she could see the harsh marks scored into the other’s wrist, but she gave no orders to free the woman. there was absolutely no need for that currently. “you, torrance lyons, have always been surprising.” myeong ventured to reach out this time, her finger brushing gently across the other’s cheek. she could tell that the gang leader had no recollection of her in the past. a big part of her figured it was fairly logical given that their interactions together had been sparse. still, the other part of her snapped, her face briefly contorting in contempt. myeong turned towards the side to hide the disgust she felt towards herself. surely she had been memorable and torrance missed out on that? “you didn’t break my heart.” she mused, knowing that it was very unfair to hold that against the gang leader. myeong had never known her well enough to “fall in love.” whatever that truly meant. her fingers gripped harshly at the armrests of her chair, knuckles turning white at the force. the charm that came over torrance wasn’t bound to work, sadly. as much as myeong wanted to believe it was genuine and not a facade, she knew better than to fall for a rookie mistake. “mm, well then, sweetheart,” the woman’s head turned back, gaze connecting with the gang leader’s. there was a tad bit of spite hidden in the word. “i guess you’ll have to dig through all the women in your life and figure out who i am. it’s going to be the only way i let you out of that chair.” myeong stood up at this point and her chair scraped across the floor. as the echo bounce off the walls of the empty room, she walked behind a bound torrance and let her hands grip at the muscle of her shoulders. she leaned forwards, lips inches away from the gang leader’s ear. “if i were you i’d get to thinking, otherwise this is going to be a hard position to sleep in. especially when i have a way better offer for your prize.” 

[houscofmusings]

dcrlin:

a smirk graced her lips, addy’s pride taking precedent over any attempt to hide how she was feeling, ❝ well, not everyone can be. ❞ addy herself knew how tiring she could be, a fact she found amusing. it just meant that if anyone wanted her presence, they’d have to work for it. wandering hands were met with a slightly more sour version of the aforementioned smirk, eyes rolling to meet makayla’s, ❝ this isn’t an attitude. it’s a lifestyle. ❞ her own arms folded in front of her, met with contact, ❝ the only leftover’s i’m after if it’s your pussy on a platter, DARLING. ❞

addy always seemed to take pride in her misery. makayla didn’t even attempt the eye roll she delivered at the ridiculousness of the other. “alright, lifestyle, my apologies.” she could sense the tension between the once more. her attempt at smoothing the situation had gone completely terrible. “we’ll talk after dinner about that.” she quipped, not quite entertained with the events of the night. “really, though, either let me take you out or we can fuck out all of this tension. take your pick, babe.” otherwise makayla was going to let her cool off for the night. clearly they were both still sensitive over the previous scandal. 

[houscofmusings]

dcrlin:

TAP. TAP. TAP. at this point in the night, wyatt was about to lose her mind. her eyes travelled from the tapping of reese’s fingers up to her features, meeting the other with a small, albeit dreary, hint of a smile. ❝ i know. i just like making you say it. ❞ scribbling the familiar order onto her notepad, wyatt couldn’t help but let her gaze float back to the other, taking in their own tired state, ❝ black coffee? you must be having a rough night. —-  how about i bring you both? . . on the HOUSE. ❞ part of this offer was out of empathy for an obviously pressing night, the other part was just wyatt’s attempt to butter the other up. one day reese would have to crack !

“of course you do, a lil’ devil aren’t ya.” reese let out an exhausted chuckle, probably the most humor she had ever given wyatt thus far. her fingers probed the dreadlocks she sported, dark eyes merely glancing up at the suggestion of free. “yeah, sure, i’ll take some free shit, i guess.” reese had never trusted nice people, but wyatt seemed to sparkle with gooey goodness. “got a poundin’ headache, but if you want, you can sit and chat with me.” maybe some company would offset the beat that lodged itself back into her head. that was the annoying part about living the club life. sometimes reese took it home with her, too. “if you aren’t busy trying to entertain yourself ‘round here.” 

[houscofmusings]

hcwfarillgo:

another soft laugh fell from pink lips as the reindeer antlers flopped over caelan’s eyes. she hadn’t known if her reindeer request would’ve been taken seriously, but it warmed maeve’s heart that her girlfriend was willing to go the extra mile, no matter how trivial. the laugh, however, was cut short and soon replaced with a quick moan at the barely there contact. “ c’mon, don’t, ” she didn’t know if she was referring to the blackmail or the need for the other’s tongue. most likely both. “ we can talk about that after we have that night of orgasms, which isn’t going to happen if you keep teasing. ”

“don’t what?” caelan asked as innocently as possible while delivering more soft kisses the the bare flesh. she knew damn well what maeve wanted from her, but she wasn’t quite in the christmas spirit of giving yet. “teasing? i’m not teasing, babe...” even as she spoke, her fingertips caressed the soft flesh of maeve’s stomach. “i’m merely building up suspense.” caelan finally let her tongue graze the other’s heat, flattened part of her tongue sliding between the other’s slit. “plus, you wouldn’t be this wet if you didn’t like it.” 

[houscofmusings]

heroexxs:

raven usually never did anything for new years. she would just spent it alone in her apartment and treated it like any other day, but here she was, dressed up and actually going to a party. even though they were noelle’s friends, she was still having a pretty fun time. the two were pretty serious, which made tonight even more special. she never shared a new years eve kiss with anyone, and now she could experience it with the girl that she loved. even though love was a pretty strong word, already she found herself just head over heels for the blonde. she hadn’t been this happy in a long time and she knew it was all because she came into her life. as the crowd of people started to count down to the new year, she wrapped her arms around noelle’s waist and felt her smile widen as every second passed. when the ball finally dropped for midnight, she pulled her close and gave her a long kiss to ring in the new year. hearing her say that she loved her caused her cheeks to go bright red, but also made her smile widen, if that was even possible at this point. “i love you too, happy new year.” she muttered as she gave her another peck. “this year’s gonna be even better, i promise.” a little laugh slipped her lips at her question and she oculdn’t help but to pull her close. “i might have already gotten started on that, but alright.” 

parties had never really been a place they ventured together often. it had never really been noelle’s scene. plus, she much rather venture out with raven and go to better places like the beach nearby or a theme park. still, the blonde was thankful she was able to experience a new years kiss with her love. the palm of noelle’s hand rested against raven’s rosy cheek, happy that the new year was already looking promising. “oh i don’t doubt that. it’s already amazing with you in it now.” she complimented with a glowing smile as she rested the side of her head on raven’s shoulder. “already started drinking without me?” noelle pretended to be offended, even letting out a soft gasp. but by now, the blonde was already on her second glass of wine and starting to feel the warmth drift through her body. “do you think we can grab a bottle of booze for the road? i think it’d be nice to go outside. maybe go walk the beach or something.” as much as she loved having her friends around, she suddenly felt the need to pull away. noelle wanted to bring in the new year away from them and hand-in-hand with raven. “i think you probably need a break from frank anyways.” throughout the whole party, her best friend, frank, had seemed to add endless comments about raven’s appearance. highly unnecessary and completely unforgiveable. “i think he’s just jealous i’m with you.” she squeezed the other’s bicep softly, never once breaking from her position.