Writing Through The Bars

"Don't judge people for the choices they make when you don't know the options they had to choose from"

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You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want.

S.E. Hinton  (via perfect)

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About Me...

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Where it all began...

I guess i should talk about how it all started...the beginning of the writing...

Jon wasn't the first person i'd written who was in prison/jail/bootcamp but he was the first out of the 4. I began writing him around July of 2013, now i had gone to school with Jon so i had known him prior to his sentencing to prison. We grew really close and i realized how much i enjoyed writing him. 

Once i realized how much i enjoyed writing him i began to write a friend of ours who had been in jail since earlier that year. We will call him Joe since he is not one of the people i will be talking about as much. Now joe and i had a past so writing him was iffy, but i did it anyway.  Joe and i talked briefly for a while and one day i got a letter from him that included a second letter from B- (It's spelled B dash, he used to always sign his letters like that. But its said as just B). In joe's letter he asked if i could find a friend for B- to have a penpal. I tried to convince some people to write B-, but they were in awe that i was even writing my friends so they sort of gave me a look and said no. So i began to write B-, at first it was with my roommate, K, but then i just began writing him and we became friends.

Shortly after beginning to write B-, Joe got sent to a bootcamp where i continued to write him at. While there i provided him with plenty of selfies and pictures with friends so he could see what i looked like and i guess he showed B.Y and Bud because during winter break i received letters from them both.

The story behind how they started writing me is for another time, but it was interesting but flattering at the same time.

As i get into other stories Joe will probably come up from time to time but im generally focusing on how Jon, B-, B.Y and Bud.

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you know you're a prisonwife

when an empty mailbox is heartbreaking :(

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you know you're a prisonwife

when you count down the hours until his next phone call.

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PrisonWife

Decided that explaining my reasoning behind re-blogging all of the "PrisonWife" posts...

I am not married or in relationships with any of these four as of now, and was never in the past, YET i can relate to a lot of these prison wife posts and feelings they have which you will come to understand more as i continue the story of these 4 boys.

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My Vision Of Prison Before...

I will be pretty honest when it comes to what i had envisioned prison and jail to be like. 

Locked in a cell with no mattress and the toilet in the stall with you. i imagined that they didn’t get to leave their cells unless it was time to eat. i figured they just worked out and did pushups al the time since they were in their cell all the time. i imagined crazy people and ones that would try and hurt other people, i was really worried about my friends saftey for a really long time.

Mean abusive guards that were just a**holes. to me, i saw it as an awful place that was dirty and filled with possible diseases and bacteria. (the cleanliness was a bother for me)

but it wasn’t like that..not all of it.

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Writing Jon...

Writing Jon was different than writing everyone else since i already knew him. And when i wrote him that first letter, he seemed to be pretty excited to hear form me which made me feel really good. At first it was really awkward because i didn't know what to ask him. He would ask me about what i was doing and how school was and i felt uncomfortable asking him the same thing.  i had this vision of prison before i wrote them, that i feel many people have, and it was wrong..

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i was so excited to get a letter from jon not only did i take a picture of the letter but i tweeted about it!

Getting letters from Jon was always awesome. I loved writing him.

We talked about recent stuff and old stuff, people from high school and id tell him about all my new friends and experiences at college. i always talked to him about going to visit him while he was in...

i really wanted to, i just never got the chance.

But, prison was changing jon for the better. i could tell.

"I DO feel you on that being a better person sh*t. I wanna do the same when i get out."

it was crazy to see how much he changed from before prison, to when he first got there till this point where he wrote me this.

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Writing Jon...

The more i wrote Jon, the closer we got. He was very motivating for me, he got on me when i skipped classes, wished me luck on exams that he remembered i had, and treated me with the most respect. 

After about a month or two of writing, he asked for my number so he could call me. I remember getting so excited when that weird number popped up and i answered and the voice lady said "You have a call from 'an inmate at....'" 

And as much as i loved talking to him on the phone, i really liked writing him. I would check my mail 4 or 5 times a day waiting for the mail man to come, so i could get his letter!

and of course, when i wrote back i would write as much as possible.Pages upon pages. At first i would type my letters, i didn't see the point of writing them, but eventually i began to write them because K said it was "more personal" which i didn't understand..BUT when i wrote my first hand written letter he definitely noticed and pointed it out!

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Writing Jon...

Together Jon and i counted down the days till his release!

Now that he is out i still talk to him! he has a job and starts college soon. Prison changed him for the better, and he definitely used his time there to think and evaluate his life. He supports me in my dreams to become a criminal defense attorney and tells me about his case and the things his lawyers could've done better to help me out.

He also tells me about his experiences with the court system, it excites me to hear about these things so that i can one day make the system better.

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Writing B-

As i had said before, i started writing B- when i received a letter from Joe with B-'s letter in it...i remember being so confused haha. 

"-Hey Stanger-" i read,

Just hollerin on the young Intro tip tryin to pass some time while Im in this bullish*t! place so hopefully whoever gets this there down to earth, open minded, outgoing, outspoken & "Sexy as Hell" & i promise im faithful to the pen, to whoever is up to write & get to know me wich you won't be disappointed promise.

B- was the first person who  wrote me who i didn't personally know. as i read that first paragraph i was wondering what the hell Joe had got me into. In his letter he told me about his case and that he was 28. Told me about his favorite types of music and that he loves traveling, vacations, sports, and going to the gym. He has a dog named Shady after Eminem (My personal favorite rapper) and one of the most important things in his life is his family...But, as i read the last lines of his letter...

Well im about to wrap this up hopefully this letter falls in the right hands & if i hear something back ill write alot more. till then be light on your feet & head to the sky...times gonna do time...all you gotta do is show up...Holla at your Boy!

I became very intrigued of this man, and decided to write him back but i was a little shaky so my roommate K and i decided to write him back together, which was mostly me just writing about the both of us. After a lot of thinking i finally finished up my letter to write him back, bought some stamps and sent it out...

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Jpay

Jpay is an online website that allows you to write prisoners via email, sen them money and sometimes music, pictures, and have video chats.

Prisoners are usually allowed access to the kiosk 15 minutes a day.

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Writing B-...

B- and i became really close for a while, while continuing writing letters, we talked everyday on Jpay. and eventually he called me.

I'll be honest when i say that it was an awkward phone call. I was eating sushi with K. when he called, and to hear his voice for the first time was interesting. After a little while of talking it wasn't too awkward but by then the operator told us we only had a minute left so we said our goodbyes and 2 days later i got a letter from him!

He told me he was glad we go to talk on the phone and that my voice sounded nice. Which was confusing to me because in my own opinion my voice is a little manly over the phone haha.

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Writing Bud...

During winter break, a couple days after Christmas, i remember my mom coming in with the mail and saying

"Doll, i didn't know you knew a bud*********"...

i didn't...

At first i just thought that Joe had borrowed an envelope from someone like he sometimes did but when i opened up the envelope and pulled out 2 letters i was confused...

"Hey Beautiful!"

it read...and as i continued to read this letter i had never been more flattered in my life...

"I saw your picture and i had to write you."

He was so nice and friendly. He told me about his case and where he was from and little things about himself. 

He also told me that with his letters was B.Y's and that Joe actually didn't know that they were writing me that i was to keep it a secret...

At the end of the letter Bud wrote,

"P.S...I hope you don't think this is weird me writing you. My bunkie says it iid because I don't know you, but If I seen you anywhere I would talk to you, and since I can't call you or talk to you face to dace so a letter will have to do."

I know it was weird, but i was more flattered than anything. I wrote back that night sprayed my letter with perfume and sent it out the next morning...

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Writing Bud...

The 7th of January he wrote me back!

He told me more about himself and about where he came from and that he was a good cook.

The more i talked to him, the more i got to know him as a person and not an inmate or a criminal or some random person in boot camp.

as more letters came i started to develop a friendship with Bud, and for a while what felt like maybe more..

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Writing Bud...

The day after valentines day i received this in the mail. it was so cute, but so cheesy. my friendship with Dereck seemed to be growing but I'm not exactly sure into what. either way i was really excited to get this valentine and posted it onto twitter and instagram!