Indignation77777777 @howarddevotoeater - Tumblr Blog

This is my spotify. I don't have any profiles besides that and this. Well and my account on the forum COOKD AND BOMBD

#actually okay now everyone go add me on discord its mybodyhasgrownnumb1967

Hey just logging in after a year to tell everyone I think I'm going to make a new blog and not even share tthe name of it because I haven't made it yet and truthfully I may never

#I guess its because this is my diary... oh and I always start new journals... well that's sweet #I do feel like my little arch here ended like I was. well I don't need to explain it #I will always come back here and look and say ah I was parasocial

Do you guys remember when I meditated and on another plane of existence spoke to my true love and I was obsessed with finding him and dissociated for 3 months then I found this guy and knew it was him and was posting about how insane I am? Well guess what he is my bf he has been for a year and a half. WHOS INSANE NOW

#I love his goodness his bleeding heart his language his thoughts his curly brown hair his blue eyes his guitar #beautiful beautiful beautiful man I love him so deeply #one of the only men I approve of ever #imagine this... you've heard your soulmates voice you know what they look like you know who they ARE their presence their energy #you know them and they're so beautiful... you're desperate to finally find them you live in a state of dissociation for 3 months #then one night you're crying in your moms car because she's dying and you're so alone you are begging to their soul to come to you #you're desperate and crying and begging and pleading... like you never have before... calling with all your heart #and the next day you meet him #thank you for hearing me babe mwah xxx

It's sooo weird reading posts on here in which I refer to myself as a MAN... lamo.. girl huh?

#I am not a man trapped in a female body I'm a person who was sexually abused as a child and adolescent for being female #whatever. just clarifying for everyone #EVERYONE. HELLO EVERYONE

November my window is open so that in place of tormented confused homicidal I may feel cold

I find all my old gender posts funny but I guess it mattered to me at some point

The CIA can't operate within the US, I think you're thinking of the FBI guys who do that.

I don't remember what the hell I said but it must have been so embarrassing

#I searched my blog for cia I can't find it #are you mistaking me for someone #I feel like I wouldn't make so silly an error... well ahaha

I wish my mom were still alive so I could ask her plainly to set me up an obgyn appointment for an IUD... not this fuckang run around... asking my dad to help get me a doctors appointment during which I could talk about going back on anti-anxiety medication... I mean I need that too but he's like "let's call CVS" I just know it would be quicker if I were able to be straightforward

#my mom would have said YES she would have helped me quickly she wouldn't think a thing about it #even if I were to be direct with my dad... which I don't really want to do... well he might help me but he'd be uncomfortable and weird #I'd do it myself but I don't have a primary care physician right now and I'm lost... I'm just lost...#well and I am trying to do it myself too it's just taking forever #fucking world...... whatever #I know I could ask for obgyn appointment but he'd ask WHY... I guess I could just say I want a general appointment... clearly lying #idkkkk

I'd never known such peace and turmoil

#it's genuinely insane

barstoolblues

I got my driving permit yay

#the test was really easy #I'm so fucking depressed I miss my mom so bad I miss her

I'm trying to link Food Roulette by Dion Mcgregor PLEASE listen to it it's so fucking funny

I don't like time moving forward taking me further and further away from when she was still alive

#all of it is so unfair #we only knew for 4 months she was sick and then she died #it was so quick #I miss my mom so much #I am so fucking depressed #she was just. an advocate for me. she supported me #I felt I was able to pursue certain creative things because she was supporting me #that's so invaluable to me #I miss being in the car with her I miss showing her music I miss talking with her so fucking much I miss talking with her #I miss talking with her.

My mom's funeral was today wasn't she so gorgeous ?? Pictures from the picture board

#and the card thing my dad made it's funny she said once about that picture she was “so stoned” in it lol

Listening to Joan Baez sing Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands

"My mother died today, or maybe yesterday, I don't know" that's what I keep thinking and I hadn't even registered that that's the opening line of The Stranger... just living my truth...

#I loved that book so much when I was 14/15 I read it a lot #I read The Plague as well but never anything else by him..... anyway......

My mother is dead

#she died last night #I’ve had the same line of a Mazzy Star song in my head all morning #before I close the door I need to hear you say goodbye baby won’t you change your mind #at least the last thing she said to me was love you

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Indignation77777777