Blame it on me

R e m u s L u p i n "I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you, but with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide." { Order Member} h a l f b l o o d ;;

[thcrin]

[howling-lupin]

@daringpadfoot @fallenprongs

[howling-lupin]

jenkinsthelion:

Blinking with a blank stare on his face, Danny then shifted his gaze to settle on the face of the other male whom he knew to be a close friend of Lily’s and also James’ - another figure whom he admired. The question that left the male’s lips caused Danny to look back down at the mug, eyes darkening as he once again settled back into his silent stare. Though as Remus began to speak again, the young former Gryffindor peered back toward the other, a sad smile crossing his lips. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save her..” Danny’s voice was coarse, his throat raw from the sobs that he had spilled every day since.

Remus shook his head sadly, “No, Danny, don't apologise...There's no need, there was nothing you could have done-- you did everything you could. Honestly, you probably saved Harry’s life through your actions. You acted fast, and I know they couldn’t save Lily but that’s not on you - that’s on whoever did this.” 

[howling-lupin]

ravenclawackerman:

“I didn’t think to ask, they had more important things to worry about and people with greater injuries.” She explained with a shrug of her shoulders, she didn’t want to admit that it was also linked to the fact that it had dark magic involved meaning that it would take longer to heal. “I find the beginning is always a good place. Or wherever your thoughts are currently. We can always make sense of it together.” She gave a small smile in hopes of offering support. “You cope as you always have. Together. You three have always had a special bond and always been there for each other no matter what, Don’t let that change.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 

A small humourless laugh fell from the male’s lips. “Of course you didn’t. I swear, Sienna one of theses days you’ll put yourself before others.” He told her smiling fondly at her. She really was one of the most selfless people he knew. A sigh left his lips as he ran a hand through his hair. “I, erm, I did something really stupid. I went to try and find the guys when they were taken but I was so distracted I hadn’t even thought about the moon cycles and I, erm -- I attacked someone.” Remus slowly told the female, his voice shaking as tears began to brim his eyes. “And then.. Lily ...” The tears began rolling down his face. “I just... I don’t know if we can anymore, it’s just destroyed us all.” 

[howling-lupin]

ravenclawackerman:

“I’m okay, pretty much healed up now apart from this stupid leg.” She rolled her eyes jokingly as she let out a small laugh. A relieved sigh fell from her lips at his off for help, she offered him a grateful smile as she lent into his side to relieve some pressure. “I wouldn’t have asked the question if I didn’t want the answer. You know that you can talk to me, right? That I’m here if you need anything?” As they made it over to her sofa she gently lowered herself down and patted the seat next to her.

He gave her a small smile. “Could they use magic to help heal it?” He asked wondering why it was taking so long to heal, then again he knew when they were very busy at the hospital they saved their magic for serious injuries only. Remus gave the witch a grateful smile as he helped her over to the sofa. “Thanks See, I appreciate it. I wouldn’t really know where to start. I just ... Well, you know about Lily, of course ... I’m not quite sure how we’re supposed to cope with that. Everything just feels so wrong now she’s not here.” He chewed on his bottom lip trying to keep his emotions under control as he took the seat next to her. 

[howling-lupin]

fallenprongs:

James nodded along to his friend’s words. They held a great deal of hope, and it was what he needed. He wasn’t sure how he would get through this otherwise. Though, a part of him was aware that life was cruel – cruel enough to tear Lily from his life – and the fate of his son did not rely on the cruelty he had already been dealt. He was trying to ensure his mind didn’t wander into that territory, but it was difficult. “He’s fighting.” James stated with attempted confidence. “They’re doing their best.” Yet, that still resulted in his wife’s passing.

There was a weak smile on his face as he nodded. “Of course he is. He’s strong like his dad... l-like his mom.” Remus cleared his throat as he felt himself welling up again. “He’s in the best place for him James.”

[howling-lupin]

jenkinsthelion:

Danny sat at a table in the cafe, hands wrapped around a cup of coffee that had long since turned cold, he hadn’t even managed to bring himself to take a single sip. The young man hadn’t eaten or slept for days and that was evident from the lack of colour in his cheeks. Witnessing a death did that to a person, especially since that deceased was a wife, a mother and a friend to so many. Danny had been replaying the events over and over in his mind, cursing himself for not being able to help her, for not saving her. Dark orbs stared into the full mug, not blinking, or even hearing the voice that was directed toward him.

Remus was walking past the cafe when he spotted the male in the window, turning around he headed inside to take a seat opposite the young wizard. He was unsure what to say, witnessing Lily’s death had clearly taken its toll on him. Remus, himself, was struggling so he could only imagine how Danny felt. He may not have been as close to the redhead as he was but he was still friends with and he’d been the one to witness the tragic events unfold. The gryffindor cleared his throat awkwardly not really knowing what words should follow. “How are holding out?” It was a stupid question. “I, erm, I wanted to thank you... for getting her to the hospital, for being their to help.” 

[howling-lupin]

ravenclawackerman:

“Remus?” Her tone came out surprised as she saw him standing there, having not expected his company. She’d heard about Lily and figured that he would need space and time to grieve with his friends, so she had decided to wait a little before checking on him. “Of course, come in. Come in.” Allowing him room to enter, she hobbled to the side pulling open the door and using it as a prop, having forgotten to grab her crutches as she answered the door. “Are you okay?”

He gave her a grateful smile, “Thanks, I appreciate it.” He replied as he stepped inside.“How are you feeling?” The male asked as he watched her limp to the side. “Here, I’ll help you get to the sofa.” Remus suggested as he walked over to her and placed his arm around her waist so she could put some of her weigh on himself. He gave a shrug at her question. “I’m not sure you want me to answer that.” The wizard gave her half a smile. So much had happened since he’d last seen her. He’d wrecked someone’s life, and he’d also had one of his best friends taken away from him while also becoming an uncle. It was all too much for the male to process. 

[howling-lupin]

Closed Starter || @ravenclawackerman

Remus wasn’t sure what exactly brought him to sienna’s doorstep but he really needed a friend other than one of his brothers. “Mind if I come in?” He asked as the brunette opened the door. 

[howling-lupin]

fallenprongs:

Even though some time had passed since he had seen her lifeless body, the pain occupying his chest was still present. It was almost too much to bear. The wizard was certain it would be something that would plague him for the duration of his days. There wasn’t anything that would fill that void. He was sure that Remus was feeling that same emptiness, too. This wasn’t just his pain. Looking up at his friend as he asked about the baby, a small smile managed to find its way to his lips – though it lasted for two seconds at most. “Harry…” It was the only thing that was keeping him sane. “He’s so tiny… there’s a chance that he might not make it.” His eyes moved to the floor and a frown appeared on his lips again. “But he’s okay…” For now.

Remus found himself thinking of all the things he’d left unsaid between them. She’d always been there for him, been there to listen - did her ever thank her for it? He probably did but he found himself feeling as though he hadn’t shown her enough gratitude, or told her enough how much he loved her - she was like the sister he always wanted... and now she was gone. A small smile tugged at his lips as James mentioned the baby’s name, though it was short lived. Remus shook his head, “No way, not possible. We can’t lose them both... Life can’t be that cruel. No, he’ll be fine.” The male wasn’t sure who he was supposed to be reassuring - himself or his friend.

[howling-lupin]

daringpadfoot:

Remus walked over to Sirius wordlessly pulling him into a hug.

[howling-lupin]

fallenprongs:

“Lily… it’s Lily…” He could hardly speak with his erratic breathing. It was almost as if the feelings had been dumped on him again, with the realisation he would have to explain. All he could see was his wife lying there on that bed, not moving and covered in blood. The picture wouldn’t leave his mind, even as he took in the worried expression of his friend. “She’s –” The tears gained some momentum as he tried to explain, but the words – he wasn’t ready. “Something – someone hurt her, and…” The words came out between breaths and he held onto his friend for dear life as he hugged him. Trying to steady his breathing, he managed to speak again, though it came out as a broken whisper. “She’s gone.” 

The male closed his eyes not wanting to believe what the male was telling him. He could feel the tears falling from his face as he tightened his grip on the male. Remus struggled to see a world without Lily in it. She’d always been there for him - for them all. He’d never known anyone as caring as her. She was the only person that could keep them in line. He could only imagine the pain James was going through. “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry.” He muttered into his shoulder through tears. Remus only wished he could do something to help his brother, but he knew realistically nothing he could do or say would made a difference. He pulled back slightly to look at James. “W-What about the baby?” He asked unsure on whether he wanted to hear the answer.

[howling-lupin]

fallenprongs:

semi-closed starter | only close connections reply (i mean it)

It was the first time he had left Harry since sitting beside him. He had been waiting outside the room. “She’s gone.” He said, as he spotted them. It was the first time he had said those words and they made him feel so empty. “She’s gone.” He repeated, quieter this time and the tears he had been managing to hold back for some time, as he waited for his friend to arrive finally broke through once again. When he was finally able to think, he had managed to send a message out via his patronus asking them to come to the hospital. He couldn’t leave. Not with his son here. But, just staying in the same building he knew his wife was lying dead within was enough to make him go crazy. His hand, still stained with his wife’s blood, brushed through his hair.  “And I can’t – I don’t know how…who…” He could barely get his words out – he didn’t really know what he was trying to say. “And Harry – he…” As if they knew who Harry was.

Remus had apparated to the hospital with in minutes of receiving James’ message. Panic filled him as he ran to his friend not knowing what to expect. His eyes scanned the male for injuries, there were none that he could see yet he was covered in blood. “James... What’s happened?” He asked frantically as he reached the male. His brow furrowed at the male’s reply. “Gone? Who’s gone? Lily?” He asked his tone laced in urgency. “James... what do you mean gone?” Remus asked scared of the answer as his eyes darted to be blood on his friends hands. The male frowned as he watched the male struggle to speak. He stepped forward pulling his brother into a hug. “Shhh, it’s okay Prongs. Just breath.”  

[ginnyeweasley]

moodboard: the marauders // harry potter series

[howling-lupin]

fallenprongs:

James shook his head before meeting his friend’s gaze. “You made a mistake, but you did it when trying to do good.” He told his friend, tone unusually serious for him. “We all make them – and it doesn’t make you a bad person. I’d have done exactly the same.” In trying times, things could slip from one’s mind. 

"A mistake that has forever ruined someone else's life. You can't say that you've done the same for that James, none of you can." None of their mistakes had been as careless risking others lives. Remus was disgusted with himself to say the least. "Because of me, her life will never be the same again and I've subjected another human being to the same torture I have to endure. How can I live with myself for that? She must think I’m a monster." She wouldn’t be wrong. 

[howling-lupin]

fallenprongs:

James smiled as his friend thanked him for the chocolate, and he was happy to see that some hint of a smile was coming back to bring life to his friend’s face. “Moony – thanks for trying. You’re the best friend guys like us – anyone, really – could ask for.” 

Remus shook his head. “It was stupid-- I was stupid. I was being reckless, I should have planned it out properly and then none of this would have happened.” The male muttered quietly as he wiped away some of his tears.

[howling-lupin]

fallenprongs:

Looking down at his friend sat broken on the floor, James frowned for a moment and took a seat next to him, despite his barely audible request to be alone. “I know,” he nodded. “But that’s not an option, Moony.” He nudged him lightly with his shoulder. “If you’d prefer someone more cuddly, though, I can get Padfoot to come up.” He looked to the side at his friend, a small smile on his lips. He was trying to cheer him up, however much luck he would have with it.  “Here.” He held the bar of chocolate out towards him.

Although the male had ignored his requests, Remus’ heart tightened as he took a seat next to him. The Gryffindor could feel the tears begin to run down his face again. He shook his head, he didn’t deserve the love his friends showed him. He turned to look what James was giving him. A small smile made it’s way to his face, as he gave a light chuckle through tears, sniffing as he took the chocolate from his friend. “Thank you.”

[howling-lupin]

zabinislythers:

Lyra probably shouldn’t have expected a straight forward answer about this. It was very likely that he had felt a similar way to her when he had first experienced his werewolf attack. Yet, that hadn’t occurred to her until she listened to his words. Those words did not help to comfort her though. Rely on those around her? She was surrounded by people who looked down on his kind – she would never be welcomed by them if she informed them of what had happened and what she would have to deal with. A few may not have reacted as badly, but it was still something that even the most accepting of people would struggle to deal with. Who knew his story, she wondered. Who accepted him? She heard his footsteps come closer to her, and she turned to look at him for the first time. The flashes of the attack did not cease, but through the tears and the struggle, she managed to push them down and keep her gaze on him. He looked so young and so wounded himself, that there was a conflict of emotions inside her. But it didn’t change anything. “And what if no one accepts it – me?” She looked down at her arm, the dark mark that stretched over her forearm made her chest tight. “How do you make it through then?” She swallowed.

All he had to do was look at the female to see the turmoil she was going through. The fight she was facing inside her head showed on her face. She probably had a millions questions running through her head. “For a long time I thought people would be able to see past this curse, I know the judgements and the stigma surrounding it but there are people that will look past it - if they care about you enough they won’t turn their backs on you.” He told her hoping it was some sort of comfort. “I kept it hidden from my friends for a while thinking they’d think I was some sort of monster, I mean I am to a degree, but that’s not me that’s something I have no control over and they understand that. They even went as far as trying to help me and cover for me during my transitions.” Remus found himself hoping the woman had someone like his brothers that would help and support her. He would do all he could of course but she’d need support from her own loved ones.