Everyday Above Ground is a Good One

[howsdeath]

161

Nate: Claire.

Claire: What?! It sucks!

Nate: Stop listening to the static.

Claire: What the fuck does that mean?

Nate: Nothing. It just means that everything in the world is like this transmission, making its way across the dark. But everything. Death, life, everything. It's all completely suffused with static. You know? But if you listen to the static too much, it fucks you up.

Claire: Are you high?

Nate: I am actually, yeah. I'm quite high.

[howsdeath]

160

Brenda: I used to think that I'd have more people in my life as time went on.

Billy: It doesn't work that way.

Brenda: Yeah. I'm starting to realize that.

Billy: It's almost like as we get older, the number of people that completely get us shrinks.

Brenda: Right. Until we become so honed by our experiences and time and...

Billy: Nobody else understands.

Brenda: Yeah.

Billy: That sounds about right. Be sure to tell the baby that. First thing right when it comes out.

[howsdeath]

159

Nate: I'm just saying you only get one life. There's no God, no rules, no judgments except for those you accept or create for yourself. And once it's over, it's over. Dreamless sleep forever and ever. So why not be happy while you're here? Really.

[howsdeath]

158

David: Could someone?

Sarah: From the "Mystic Odes" of Rumi. "Our death is our wedding with eternity. What is the secret? 'God is one.' The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house. This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes; it is not in the juice made from the grapes. For he who is living in the light of God, the death of the carnal soul is a blessing. Regarding him say neither bad nor good for he has gone beyond the good and the bad. Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about what is invisible, so that he may place another look in your eyes."

Claire: Nate?

Nate: Hey. Kurt Cobain died today.

Claire: Oh.

Nate: He killed himself. He was just too pure for this world.

Claire: Well, his music will live on.

Nate: Yeah. Yeah, it will. You wanna try some?

Claire: Yeah.

Sarah: "It is the eternal light which is the light of God. The ephemeral light is an attribute of the body and the flesh. Oh God, who gives the grace of vision. The bird of vision is flying toward you with the wings of desire."

[howsdeath]

157

Ruth: But why would God take someone's son at the one moment they were ever in their whole lives not able to be with him? What kind of a message is that?

Father Jack: I don't think it's helpful to see it as a message to you.

Ruth: Then why would it happen that way, unless there really is no God?

Father Jack: It's natural to be angry. But maybe it's best to view God as a light through this dark time, as opposed to seeing him as the cause of it.

Ruth: God is an asshole!

Sarah: Yes, God is a huge asshole ! And I fucking hate him for this. We're gonna get you through this, honey, all right? You're not alone. You're not alone.

[howsdeath]

156

Claire: First, I was worried, but now I'm just pissed. It's really irresponsible of her.

Nate: She wouldn't have been able to handle it, anyway. You know, she'd get all upset and flap around and squawk. We'd have to take care of her.

David: Poor mom, she's so out there.

Nate: It's all this stuff with George. It really did a job on her.

Claire: Well, she could still show up for her own son's coma.

[howsdeath]

155

Maggie: Are you all right? Swear to me.

Nate: I swear.

Maggie: If only I hadn't asked you for a ride.

Nate: I'm not sorry for anything. You're making love with somebody and your head explodes. That's a good sign.

Maggie: Stop it. You're awful. I'm so relieved.

[howsdeath]

154

Ruth: You know what I'd like?

Hiram: What?

Ruth: I'd like to see life clearly, but that's the first thing to fly out the window when I get romantic. I wonder if there's a way to do it where that doesn't happen.

[howsdeath]

153

Russell: I'm always falling in love with people who hate me.

Claire: Not always.

Russell: Thing is, I'm not even in love with Jimmy. I want to be Jimmy. And the paradoxical thing is underneath all of that I hate Jimmy. He's... He's so self-absorbed. He builds a seven-foot sculpture of his penis.

Claire: It's a lollipop.

Russell: It's subliminal, Claire.

[howsdeath]

152

Claire: I grew up in a funeral home. I still live in a funeral home.

Ted: Wow. With dead bodies and everything?

Claire: Yep.

Ted: Isn't that kind of scary?

Claire: Not compared to this.

[howsdeath]

151

Maggie: When the doctors first told me that Jesse was sick I was so scared. We had to give him all these shots that made him scream. And then there were all the useless operations. But, Nate, all the horrible things don't take away from what he gave me. The first time that Jesse laughed? He used to... He used to get so excited to look at the moon. He was only two, but he was a person. An amazing person. And he was here such a short time, I feel just incredibly lucky that I got to know him. It made me a bigger person. And that's something all children do.

[howsdeath]

150

Claire: I haven't even been to my desk in weeks, because every time I sit down and try to think Of how I want to express myself I just come up empty. It's like this giant abyss with total, like, stillness. It's kind of the loneliest feeling in the entire world.

Ruth: Oh. Well, uh, you'd better hurry up and change. Dinner will be ready soon.

[howsdeath]

149

Nate: Fiona let me see all of her. And I just loved her. And that whole year I was seeing other girls, but I'm just... You know, I wrote her letters. Some of them rhymed. Now I know she probably laughed when she read those letters.

Billy: I doubt she laughed.

Nate: Well, you know, love isn't something you feel, it's something you do. If the person you're with doesn't want it, you know, do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does.

[howsdeath]

148

Ruth: You always tell me everything happens for a reason.

Sarah: Oh, fuck off! Fuck that one to the ground! "Everything happens for a reason." What a crock! You say there's a reason grandma lost her legs, and there's a reason there's a war. And tsunamis? And there's a reason George-Fucking-Bush got reelected! Shit goes wrong because there's evil in the world, like me ! I'm evil.

[howsdeath]

147

Ruth: The way he looks at me, I just see the little boy in him, you know? That's always been my problem with men. It doesn't matter if they're 10 or 80. I see them standing there like children in short pants. Just skinny little boys, lost. Why do I always pick men with such skinny legs?

[howsdeath]

146

David: I feel like everyone's just here to scope out the most adorable kid.

Keith: They're all adorable. On the surface. All these kids have gone through some serious damaging shit in their lives.

David: Like we haven't?

[howsdeath]

145

George: Ruth... Don't you understand? Nobody grows up thinking this is the way they're gonna turn out to be. If I could change just by snapping my fingers, I'd do it.

Ruth: I know you would, George.

George: I am trying so hard to get better.

Ruth: And you are.

George: But not fast enough for you!

Ruth: You're getting better as fast as you can. I know that.

George: I am so lucky. I hate that I'm the lucky one. No one's ever lucky to have me. Nobody's ever been lucky to have me.