Sorry I’m so inactive guys, I am not doing well mentally. I’ll be truthful about my situation, at the moment I’m on the verge of giving up on life, and I know its a bad thing and I dont want to go too deep into my situation but i just wanted to let you know whats going on right now. BUT I’m seeking help for my depression and panic attacks and IM starting my therapy next week! Also I started to go out a lot and meeting my friends, they are helping me a lot and I feel much better when I dont spend my whole time on computer. So I’m going to stay much longer on semi hiatus. I miss you guys, I miss editing and giffing stuff but my mental health I much important right now. I can’t wait to start my therapy because I really miss loving life. I want to do so many things which i can’t do right now because of my depression. Like falling in love, having fun and have a good sleep shedule. I just really can’t wait to be happy again.
In the past few days, I went through my Tumblr and looked at my posts, and I stumbled upon this post from six years ago. It breaks my heart when I think about how hopeless and alone I felt back then. I thought I would be alone forever, that I wouldn’t find real friends (the friends I had back then were completely fake and stabbed me in the back). But six years later, I want to give a little update, especially since I was so active here, and I just want to show that things can get better. So here’s a small message to my 24-year-old self:
You’re 31 now. A few years ago, you came out as gay, you were in a relationship for 4 years, and lived with your girlfriend, but the relationship ended. It’s okay though, you got through it well because you have the right people by your side. You have a wonderful job in a bookstore, with supportive and loving colleagues. Your relationship with your mom has improved, you’re earning well, and you have your own beautiful apartment. You’re doing fine. There are bad days, but there are also good days. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you back then that everything would eventually be okay, that you’d be stable, independent, and healthy. We’ve been through a lot, and life still has a lot in store for us. But this time, we’re stronger and more confident, and nothing can scare us anymore.
