This is just like your typical inktober-type event, but occurring over the month of September! Each day has one basic prompt and one character prompt. You are free to draw as many or as few prompts as you want, and as many or as few days as youâd like!!
@hphm-fandom-events | day 1: starlight / enemies to lovers
merula snyde x alysa nouzen (mc) | 2722 words | late submission
this story includes my own mc and was written with her in mind. it is also accessible on ao3 and wattpad. if you prefer to read it with an unnamed/undescribed mc, click here for female and here for male.
I Hate You
From the moment Merula Snyde first laid eyes on Alysa Nouzen, she knew she hated her.
It wasn't necessarily that Alysa had done anything wrong. No, it was the way she pranced around the castle, sticking her nose into every problem she could get her filthy hands on. It was the way she always solved everyone's rubbish problems in the end, rewarded with house points by Dumbledore no matter how many school rules she broke to get there. It was the way she collected friends like they were mere pieces in the puzzle that was her hunt for the Cursed Vaults and her brother. Seriously, if Merula had a sickle for every time she had seen Alysa hang out with her friends when she didn't need something from them, she wouldn't even have enough for a galleon.
But what she really hated was that everyone practically worshipped Alysa. All of her friends were thick enough to think she cared about them more than she cared about the Cursed Vaults. But not Merula, Merula saw right through her on the first day. She always knew Alysa was nothing but a typical Slytherin, using people for her own gain and not caring if they got hurt. She'd known it from day one, before she even had proof, and now she had seen it over and over.
"I don't see what you hate so much," Tulip told her during their first year, back when the two of them were still friends, "she's not so different from you, really. It's not as if you wanted to be friends with me because of my personality."
But they weren't the same, thought Merula, not at all. Merula wasn't interested in pretending to be this kindhearted, weak girl who ran around helping first years and incompetent professors. What was the point in that, when she was the most powerful witch at Hogwarts? It was pathetic.
But then, there was that day.
Just like always, Merula walked into the potions dungeon and sat in her seat between Ismelda and Barnaby. On the other side of the room, she could see Professor Snape chastising one of her fellow Slytherins, specifically the nameless boy (or rather, Merula didn't consider him worthy of a name) who always drank defective potion and made himself sick. Alysa usually was quick to brew the antidote, but it seemed that she hadn't been quick enough that day before he was caught. Actually, Alysa seemed to be nowhere in sight at all. How strange, Merula thought to herself, how unlike her. Alysa was a rule breaker, sure, but a bad student she was not. She was always on time, always making sure that despite the fact that Professor Snape had gone from hating to barely tolerating her in four years, she would use her skills and charm to force him to give her house points anyway.
Merula shook her head. Why would she even care that she wasnât here? It was better if Alysa wasn't in class. Merula would have Professor Snape all to herself. After all, he was one of the only professors at Hogwarts who preferred her to her arch-nemesis, and now she wasn't here. It was her time to shine.
Only, why did she feel so dejected?Â
While Professor Snape was busy lecturing Hazel Arster â a lamb-like girl from her dormitory who only spoke in half-sentences â on her previous exam performance (the grading scale called it Acceptable, Merula called it Abysmal, as anything below Outstanding was a failure in her eyes), she got to work on her Pepperup Potion. But while she tried to stir the perfect twelve times clockwise, her eyes kept wandering over to the empty seat where Alysa usually sat. Where could she possibly be?
Perhaps she was searching for another Cursed Vault, no doubt using another one of her "friends" without a care in the world if they ended up in detention or in trouble with their professors. Merula rolled her eyes at the thought. Alysa was so aggravating, she was such a wolf in sheep's clothing, she was such aâ
"Miss Snyde."
Professor Snape's stern, cold voice snapped Merula from her thoughts. He was looming over her potion with narrowed eyes and she didn't have to think very hard as to why: her potion was bright orange when it should have been red.
"Far from your best work," he said.
Merula felt like using an unforgivable on herself right then and there, and she could not stop herself from turning a shade of crimson. She only made eye contact with Snape for a brief moment before breaking away and frantically trying to fix her defective Pepperup Potion, but in that moment, she saw Professor Snape's eyes narrow dangerously. He looked over at the empty seat next to Rowan Khanna â Alysa's best friend â and then back at Merula.
"What a shame," he sneered, then he swept away towards the next table.
She heard Barnabyâs nostrils flare, offended on his friendâs behalf, but somehow, Merula had a funny feeling that Professor Snape's attitude had not been directed at Alysa's absence at all.
"Rowan," Barnaby said a little too loudly; luckily Professor Snape was too busy chastising someone at the other table for their foul-odored Pepperup Potion attempt.
"What?" Rowan looked up from her cauldron, which was in an even worse state than Merula's without Alysa's help.
"Where's Alysa?" asked Barnaby.
Rowanâs nose scrunched up as if someone had stuck dragon dung underneath it. Merula stopped what she was doing. She had never seen that sort of reaction from anyone at the mention of Alysa, not to mention from her own best friend. Barnaby, thick as he is, didn't seem to notice Rowanâs less-than-expected reaction to his question.
"I don't know," shrugged Rowan.
"Perhaps she's finally gotten herself killed in the Forbidden Forest looking for her dead brother's corpse," sneered Merula, grateful to finally have an excuse to comment on Alysa's disappearance.
"Bugger off, Merula!" Barnaby shouted.
It was decidedly too loud. Professor Snape stopped talking, straightened himself out, and slowly turned to face them, his eyes fixed dangerously on Barnaby and his smoking green potion. He was hardly seen for the following week.
Alysa did not reappear at lunchtime, nor at dinnertime, nor in any of their classes, and Merula was beginning to grow restless without her. There weren't very many guarantees in Merula's life growing up. She wasn't guaranteed parental love and guidance â her parents were in Azkaban, after all â and she wasn't guaranteed peace at home â her guardian was a nightmare. What she was guaranteed every day at Hogwarts, however, was being able to pick a fight with Alysa Nouzen, being able to hate her no matter how much everyone gushed about her being their angelic savior. It was ridiculous, how could no one see through her act but Merula? Was everyone else just that thick, that naive?
Merula tossed and turned that night in her bed, completely unable to sleep without knowing her arch-nemesis' whereabouts. She lay there for a while staring at the top of her four-poster bed, listening to Ismelda's snores and Hazel's occasional sobs. When the clock on her watch struck two o'clock in the morning, she had had enough. Merula quietly slipped into her slippers and tiptoed out the dorm, then out of the common room and into the deserted dungeon corridor.
She walked for a while, the air filled with nothing but the sounds of snoring portraits and the occasional steady footsteps that no doubt belonged to either Mr. Filch or Mrs. Norris. At first, Merula's only intentions were to take a walk to clear her head, but she found herself peering into classrooms as she passed them, hoping to find even just a glimpse of Alysa. Where could she be?
"What's wrong with you?" whispered Merula under her breath, quietly so as not to alert anyone that she was out of bed, "You're acting just like her."
She could picture this exact scenario with the roles reversed. Had Merula been the once missing, Alysa would have torn apart the entire castle looking for her. She would have brought her friends along and screamed her name all night, somehow avoiding Filch with one of her rubbish plans that would only work because itâs her coming up with them. Merula would laugh and laugh with Ismelda later at her stupidity. They would never be friends as long as they lived and breathed, so why even bother with something like that?
The walk just wasn't working, her head was fuller than it had been in the dormitory. Perhaps a look at the night sky would help her. Yes, that was exactly what Merula needed. One look at the starry night would completely rid her thoughts of Alysa, it was a brilliant idea that only the most powerful witch at Hogwarts could have had.
Luckily, she was just around the corner from the Astronomy Tower, which was bound to be deserted at this hour, and it would give her the best view of the stars. She wouldn't accept anything less. But as she made her way up the stairs and the beautiful starry night sky came into view, her eyes widened in shock.
There she was, in all her glory, with her long red hair that gleamed blue in the moonlight: Alysa Nouzen herself.
She was still in her day clothes, but only her black pants and fitted, white collar shirt remained on her body. Her hair was pulled back with her Slytherin tie, her shoes were kicked off to the side, and her school robes were strung out carelessly along the floor.
"Well, well, well," started Merula, stepping into the moonlight, "so this is where you've been hiding all day."
Alysa looked up, her lime green eyes finding Merula's purple ones. She looked absolutely exhausted, as if she hadn't slept in days. It was then that Merula realized that Alysa was doing something. Her palms and fingers were completely black and she seemed to be hunched over a dirty piece of parchment. Alysa noticed Merula frowning and quickly brushed everything aside.
"Hi, Merula."
"What's that?" Merula pointed towards the parchment.
Alysa closed her eyes as she inhaled, then sighed, and Merula felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. Hatred, of course, because Merula wanted nothing more than to jinx her into a jelly.
"Don't pretend to care." she said softly, with a smile.
"I'm not," Merula protested, louder than she intended, "and I don't care!"
"Then what does it matter?" said Alysa, matter of factly.
And she was right. What did it matter what she was doing, or why she hadn't shown up for classes that day? Merula scowled, feeling as defeated as she always did whenever she argued or picked a fight with her arch-nemesis. She hated defeat more than anything, and yet she couldn't stop, she couldn't stay away. All of that was a can of worms that she did not want to open, so instead, she took a seat on the floor next to Alysa, using her clothed arm to slide the discarded robes out of the way.
"If you don't tell me, I'll report you to Snape for being out of bed," said Merula, her nostrils flaring.
Alysa sighed; she, too, was defeated.
"Rowan and I had a row."
Merula raised her eyebrows, now understanding Rowanâs earlier peculiar behavior.
"Rowan was, er, mad we don't hang out anymore," she muttered despairingly, "she said we only talk about the Cursed Vaults these days."
Alysa looked genuinely depressed as she turned to look away from Merula and towards the starry night sky. Merula usually had a lot to say to her, but in that moment, she seemed to forget how to string her words together. She sat there like a fool with her legs crossed and her lips ever so slightly parted, wondering if there was anything she could say that wouldn't trick Alysa into thinking she tolerated her in any way. And she didn't, Merula reminded herself, she didn't even tolerate her, she just hated her. So why was she so stumped?
"So you're crying over some dirty parchment?" she said with a sneer.
"It's not dirty!" Alysa snapped.
"Oh?" Merula raised her eyebrows with a smirk.
So she could lose her composure. How interesting. But only because it was a new challenge for Merula. That was the only reason.
"It's..."
She trailed off, and both hers and Merula's eyes found the parchment Alysa had swept aside.
"Let's see it."
Alysa made an effort to knock Merula's wand out of her hands, but she wasn't quick enough.
"Accio parchment!"
It soared through the air towards Merula faster than either of them were ready for and collided with Merula's forehead, and she was knocked over by the force of it. Alysa laughed while Merula crossly grabbed the parchment from her face and held it up in the moonlight, making Alysaâs laughter very quickly die down.Â
It seemed to be some sort of⌠black blob? It was definitely covered in black scribbles that all seemed to blend together in the center, like a ball of yarn. When Merula squinted, she could see the faint outline of what appeared to be eyes. She turned her gaze to Alysa, who was suddenly very interested in her cuticles. Now it was her turn to laugh hysterically. It was so intense that she clutched her sides and nearly fell over again as she threw her head back. She knew she was laughing far too loudly for the hour and that she was risking being caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris, but it would almost be worth it.Â
âMerlinâs⌠Beard,â cried Merula between laughs, âwhat the hell⌠is that⌠supposed to be?â
âItâs Fuzzclaw!â exclaimed Alysa, âI was trying to draw Rowanâs catââ
âTHATâS MEANT TO BE A CAT?â Merula laughed even harder, so hard that her eyes began to sting and tears fell.
At first, Alysaâs ears were pink with embarrassment, but as Merula roared with laughter, she couldnât help but crack a smile and giggle herself. She had never seen Merula act this way before, she spent so much time trying to pick a fight despite Alysaâs best attempts at avoiding conflict with her (because she truly did not have the time nor energy, and Merula would be a powerful ally if she wasnât so stubborn). Alysa had to admit, it was kind of cuteâŚ
âI suppose it is a bit ridiculous-looking,â Alysa chuckled over Merulaâs howling.
Merula wiped her tears and did her best not to keep smiling, but every time she glanced at the âdrawingâ of the âcat,â she couldnât help but grin.
âWhatâs the point in trying to draw that thing anyway?â she asked.
âI donât knowâŚâ sighed Alysa, âI just wanted to show Rowan that, you know, Iâm listening to her even if she doesnât think I am, and I care. I do care, I know you tell people I donât, but I do.â
Merula stared at her for a moment, but Alysa wasnât looking back. Instead, she turned her attention towards the night sky. It had to be close to three oâclock in the morning now and there wasnât a single light outside except for the moonlight. There wasnât a cloud in the sky nor a distraction in sight, it was just the two of them, the stars, and the moon.
âThe sky is so beautiful,â whispered Alysa.
âItââ
Merula stopped abruptly, realizing in that moment exactly what she had been about to say and exactly what situation she was in. She was still staring at Alysa. Her face turned crimson and she jumped to her feet. Alysa looked away from the sky and towards Merula.
âI hate you, Nouzen,â said Merula forcefully.
âThatâs a shame.â Alysa smiled sadly.
âSTUDENTS! STUDENTS OUT OF BED!â
Before Merula could process anything she had said and felt, Filch rounded the corner with a murderous look in his eyes and they both found themselves being dragged off to his office. While he screamed at them and threatened expulsion, Merula knew that the next time she and Alysa met, she would have to be ten times as cruel as she normally was.
Just as long as she never had to think of that night ever again.
Ok now pretend this isn't like two weeks late~ I don't have much experience with oneshots so this was a fun exercise and if you made it to the end thank you so much for reading!! Sorry the art is just a sketch I spent so much time on the writing that by the time I got to the art I was kinda ready to move on... Anyways have a good day!
For the drawing - I love the way you capture the lighting on them! The shines to their hair and clothes is so beautifully done - how light it is in some areas and more heavy in others. And Merulaâs gaze? I can feel the emotion swelling up in it.
For the fic - I love how you detail Merulaâs thought process! How deeply sheâs sunk into her way of thinking that she is so completely unaware of her own true emotions - up until the end (and that denial is so Merula, great job capturing it!). You did such a fantastic job characterizing her!
As Ship Week comes to a close, I want to give a huge, huge shoutout to our participants! (And if you still have work to post, never fear! Donât feel rushed to finish & post it)
To @chaoslunaire - as always, your writing is nothing short of phenomenal. You have such a talent for characterization & weaving dynamics, that it feels as though the characters themselves come to life on the page as I read. I so eagerly await your work each and every time - itâs so beautifully done, each and every single time. Your Tonks & Tulip are so incredible.
To @anachriva - Iâm always left in awe of your mastery over shading and values. The pencil strokes in each and every piece you post are always so beautifully done. The amount of detail youâre able to include as well is nothing short of extraordinary.
To @luupines - congratulations on your first time participating! I utterly adore your skill with drawing and portraying people - the expressions, the posing, the anatomy, itâs all so beautifully done and captured in each and every piece. The colors are especially striking as well!
Thank you to everyone who participated and made this event successful!! Cannot wait to hopefully see you all again next year!
Aw, this is so cute!! I love the photos chosen - the sunsets in the background silhouetting them. You can really feel the bond, and they feel so organically Tonks and Tulip - itâs so beautifully done!! Incredible work as always!!
@hphm-fandom-events | Day 7 : Books | Tonks x Tulip
I still haven't finished writing Day 4, but I couldn't leave the last day unposted, so while I'm working on it, here's a little something about Tulip and Tonks.
I love this so much!! The warmth and coziness exuded from this - as well as how you can just feel the closeness, the bond between them. Beautiful work!
Ooooohhhh, I love this!!! Once again, your command over the shading and values are so well done - itâs all so delicate yet intentional, and itâs so beautiful. The level of detail in the clothes is incredible too - the belt? The tie? The necklace? The jacket? I love the strand work in the hair, and the expressions are so beautiful. Phenomenal work as always!!
I think this is going to be my last Ship Week post. I had one more idea but in case I have to save that for another time, I just wanted to say thank you @hphm-fandom-events for hosting! This was my first fandom event of hopefully many more to come!
This is so beautifully done!! I love the sense of space in this piece - how expansive the library feels. The colors in this are spectacular - I love the shine & detail to her hair! And the expressions are so well done too - incredible work as always!!
@hphm-fandom-events | Day 6 : Jealousy
Tonks x Tulip + Selen Moonstar (OC), Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (Remus/Sirius mention) | 947 words
English is not my native language
Beyond Hogwarts - Order of the Phoenix
Sitting on a shabby sofa, a glass of Butterbeer in hand, Tulip gritted her teeth and glared at the people in the next room. The Order meeting had ended almost fifteen minutes earlier, and most of the members had already left this cursed house called Grimmauld Place. Those who, like Tulip, lingered were there to enjoy a good meal prepared by Molly Weasley (or because they had no other choice but to stay locked up there).
With a sigh, Tulip looked away for a moment before returning her gaze to the three people in the next room. If she had known she would have to witness⌠this, she would have declined Molly's invitation to stay for dinner.
Wrinkling her nose, Tulip took a sip of her drink, feigning indifference but unable to stop her gaze from returning to Tonks and Remus, who were discussing some plan for a future mission with Mad-Eye Moody. Why had Tonks been paired with that old man Lupin? Weren't there enough members available to put her with someone else? Why did they have to pretend to be a couple for this mission? It was ridiculous! Who would believe they were a couple? Okay, they had a certain chemistry, but Tonks could get along with anyone, so why, out of everyone, did he have to be the one assigned as her partner? Talbott could have made a very good partner! He's an Auror AND he's the same age as Tonks; that would have been a much better idea, yes, reallyâŚ
âYou should open a club,â Selen smiled, plopping down on the sofa next to Tulip.
âWhat?â Tulip asked, averting her gaze from the pathetic spectacle of Remus and Tonks, whose complicity was far too obvious to be feigned.
âYou and Sirius,â Selen replied, nodding her head toward the man in the corner of the room, whose gaze was also fixed on Remus and Tonks, âyou should open a club.â
âWhat are you talking about?â Tulip grumbled, glancing quickly at Sirius, whose hand was gripping his glass a little too tightly.
âYou two are so jealous.â
âIâm not jealous!â Tulip snapped, her teeth clenched.
âAnd Iâve never had a crush on Orion Amari,â Selen grinned mischievously.
âYouâre obsessed withâŚâ Tulip began, before stopping abruptly.
Selen chuckled before raising her glass to her lips.
âIâm not jealous,â Tulip repeated, grumbling, âitâs just⌠why arenât you partnered with Tonks?â
âIâm already on a mission, Iâve only just gained my informantâs trust, I canât be replaced now.â
âAnd Talbott?â
âSame. No one can replace him; they need his Animagus abilities.â
âAnd no one else was available besides Lupin?â
âYou know perfectly well that if theyâre paired up for this upcoming mission, itâs because they have excellent chemistry, and thatâs important for their cover.â
âHusband and wife,â Tulip grunted, staring at the amber liquid in her glass as if it could make her forget this stupid plan.
âYou know itâs just for the mission and that nothingâs going on between them?â Selen asked gently, without a hint of judgment in her voice.
Tulip shrugged helplessly, her gaze still fixed on her glass.
âAnyway, itâs none of my business, I have nothing to sayâŚâ
âMaybe you could⌠you knowâŚâ
âNo!â Tulip replied firmly.
âTulip,â Selen sighed, âyouâve been in love with Tonks since the 4th year, maybe you should talk to her about itâŚâ
âAbsolutely not,â Tulip argued.
âWould you rather end up like her cousin? Pining away for years over a love you think is impossible, even though your feelings are mutual?â
âStop talking nonsense,â Tulip murmured, looking up from her glass at her friend.
âThe four of you are the biggest, most clueless idiots I've ever seen!â
Tulip opened her mouth to reply but closed it immediately, pondering her friend's words. What if⌠Could it be that⌠No! That was impossible! Tonks can't⌠She can't⌠but maybeâŚ
The sound of shattering glass on the floor pulled Tulip from her thoughts and she looked up at Sirius Black, whose jaw was clenched and whose eyes, black and frightening, were fixed on the place Tulip hadn't looked at for a while.
Turning her head, Tulip understood what had stirred Sirius's anger. Remus had his arm around Tonks's shoulders and was holding her tightly, laughing (probably after sharing a joke only they understood), and Tonks let him, melting into the embrace as if it were the most natural thing in the world, putting her arm around the werewolf's waist. As if they were actually a coupleâŚ
Kreacher appeared before Sirius to pick up the broken pieces of glass and all attention was then focused on the last descendant of the Black Family.
âAre you okay, Pads?â Remus asked, pulling away from Tonks and heading towards his friend.
âYes,â the Animagus grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away.
âLet me see,â Remus said, gently taking Sirius's hand in his to check the depth of his wound.
âI assure you it's fine, Moony,â Sirius grumbled, but he let him, trying to hide his blush behind his hair.
âYears,â Selen whispered, getting up from the sofa and joining the agitation.
Tulip cast one last glance at Remus and Sirius, who seemed absorbed in each other, unperturbed by what was happening around them, then she turned her head away, meeting Tonks' gaze fixed on her.
Tonks smiled at her, that adorable way that lit up her whole face, and she awkwardly tucked a strand of purple hair behind her ear. Tulip's heart skipped a beat. Selen was right; she'd waited long enough! She wouldn't wait years. Tonight, at the end of dinner, she would finally confess her feelings to Tonks.
Available on Ao3 in English and French (soon)
Dividers by @chaotic-arcade
Aww, this is so cute!! Once again, your ability to capture the emotions and dynamic of the interactions so strongly that I feel transported into the scenes you write is nothing short of incredible. I can feel Tulipâs jealousy throughout the entire thing, and itâs so beautifully done. Incredible work as always!!
Oh this is beautiful!! I love the vibrant colors, as well as the expressions. The outfits are so well detailed, its incredibly well done. Beautiful work!!!
@hphm-fandom-events | Day 5 : Rainy Day | Tonks x Tulip
I'm still writing Day 4, and I still have Day 5 and Day 7 to write. So, in the meantime, I did this, because Tonks/Tulip deserves more visibility and I'll seize every opportunity to give it to them. I'm not entirely happy with the result, but I'm too tired to worry about it right now.
Recently, Helena Tremblay has been having revelations about herself and how she views love and loves others. While it confuses her in ways she canât even explain to herself. She knows that the one way to allow her to embrace herself is to breakup with her boyfriend and give herself the space to figure it all out. This story is apart of HPHM ship week by @hphm-fandom-events
Theme: Rainy Day/Angst/Awkward
Helena Tremblayâs POV, November 1987
Not even the rain dissuaded Helena as she left the dryness of the castle to the damp outdoors. Near the greenhouses was typically where everything made sense to her. Though she doubted if even they were enough to relieve her of the tangled mess of emotions within her. She could not even find the words to describe herself.
As long as she didnât run into Barnaby she knew she could make it through this confusion eventually. Maybe the distance and avoidance would allow her to feel something towards him again like he deserved. Yet something about her emotions, and love in general had seemed to haveâŚshift. Even now Helena was not sure if that was the right word to use.
She felt rather selfish for even considering this was the right choice to make in the long term. He hadnât even done anything wrong and yet she still found herself confused and like something had yet to be fulfilled. He had been nothing but kind to her. Whenever she helped him with his studies, he always offered to take her to see the various magical creatures that frequented the school. She recalled his absolute joy when he finally got the chance to meet a professional Magizoologist in the form of her father the past summer. Barnaby deserved the world, there was no doubt in that, and he was finally blossoming into his true self after separating himself from Merula and Ismelda. Helena only just hoped that her choice would not halt the progress he was making. She needed time, she had decided, perhaps that would make everything finally become clear again and explain the peculiar feelings she was experiencing.
Helena hadnât planned on making today the day she would finally come clean to Barnaby. The rain made for far too depressing of a backdrop. Yet that plan was through out the window when she heard her name get called by his familiar voice just as she was about to retreat into the safety and comfort of one of the schoolâs greenhouses.
Barnaby jogged over to her with his brown hair damped from the rain and his school robes dripping with rather by the time he reached the overhang at the greenhouse where she was. His green eyes shone just as bright as his smile as if the rain surrounding them was non existent. He was always a light in the dark and didnât deserve something that would dim his spirit.
âHey!â He cheerfully repeated as he got to her side.
âHello.â She replied absent mindedly as her mind raced as fast as a hippogriff. As a consequence though, the mask fell when her voice came out as more of a whimper than a more confident greeting.
Her boyfriendâs smile faded in response as he looked as her closer with concern, âAre you alright?â
âIâm fine.â She told him even though she told herself no internally. She closed her eyes and sighed, unable to look him in the eye, âCan we talk?â
âSure.â Barnaby agreed, âWhat is it?â
For a few moments, Helena was planning on going back on her decision to finally tell him the truth. Yet for too long she had been telling herself she needed another day, another week, and even though she desperately wanted to, she didnât deserve to be hurting Barnaby with her hesitation and confusion for another month. She could no longer tell him everything was fine and just as clear as it had been before, things had changed, and while she still struggled to understand it, she knew she needed to accept it. This was the only way.
âIâŚâ she stammered, struggling to find words to explain it all, âIâve been trying to take time to myself and figure out how to say this for the past few weeks.â
âDid something happen?â He asked.
âI suppose.â She shrugged even though she couldnât even pinpoint when her feelings towards the concept of love began to change. Perhaps they were always that way and she only became aware of how complex it could be only now. Helena wrapped her arms around herself to comfort herself, âNothing bad, and most certainly nothing you did.â She assured him, âYouâve been wonderful.â
âThen what is it?â His brow furrowed in confusion.
âI donât know.â She confessed, âI wish I did. I wish I knew how to explain it all but I donât.â Her watery eyes met Barnabyâs green ones, âand I think the only way for me to truly figure it out is for me to discover myself and my feelings on my own rather than dragging you along.â
âOh.â Realization finally dawned on Barnabyâs face, âI see..â
âIâm sorry.â Helena apologized, âI truly am. But I do believe this is the only way for me not to hurt you.â
âI didnât do anything stupid did I?â Barnaby asked as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Helena looked at him, âNo.â She assured him, âNo you didnât do anything wrong. If anyone did something wrong it was me for not taking the time to understand myself and what I am feeling.â
Though in truth, that seemed to have only shifted recently. Back when she started dating Barnaby, everything had been so simple, she was happy with him, and beyond proud as she watched him embrace himself and his interests rather than just being the muscle for people who were using him. The past summer had been a favorite of hers. How could it now be when she could vividly remember how Barnaby lit up upon meeting her father and curiously asking him questions about making a career out of Magizoology? Yet despite all that initial happiness and certainty, her emotions seemed to take a perplexing turn. She recalled her auntâs words, that sometimes you needed to know when to end something in order to find yourself and explore how you interacted with the world and find fulfillment and only ignoring what your heart was telling you would only lead you to suffer and for those around you to suffer just the same. Her aunt eventually found happiness and the person for her with Uncle Cassian, and now, Helena only hoped that if Barnaby truly wasnât the one for her as her emotions were trying to tell her, she would figure out who was the one for her.
âWell thatâs good.â Barnaby expressed relief, âI was worried I had done something dumb and that was why you seemed so distance.â
âIt wasnât you it never was.â Helena promised him, âItâs all me, and I should have approached you sooner, told you the truth, but now you know.â
Barnaby fidgeted with his hands as he looked at Helena once again, âCan we still be friends?â
Helena nodded without hesitation, âOf course, I just need some space.â She explained and sighed as she looked back towards the castle, âI should go.â And as Barnaby nodded in silence and understanding, Helena walked away without turning back.
Ouch, this one hurt to read! The angst is so incredibly done - I can feel the upset on her part, the guilt over needing to do this at all, the inner hatred towards herself for it. Once again, I adore your characterizations, your ability to write them so well they seem to come off the page as you read! Beautifully done as always!!
@hphm-fandom-events | Day 3 : Mutual Pining
Tonks x Tulip + Chiara Lobosca, Badeea Ali, Penny Haywood | 2772 words
English is not my native language
Muggle AU
The day had started very badly. First, her alarm hadn't gone off and she'd woken up late; then, the wind had broken her umbrella, forcing her to cross the city in the downpour. Her hair was soaked when she arrived at work. Luckily, her boss, who lived right above the shop, was working at the time and, after joking about her condition, he went home to bring her a clean towel so she could dry her hair and mop her face.
After that, things only got worse. When she went to clean one of the tables in the room, a customer spilled his coffee on her (luckily, the customer had spent a long time chatting with someone, and his coffee had had time to cool down before landing on her trousers). Then she had to deal with a particularly unpleasant customer (no! She couldn't make her a Caffe Latte without milk. The customer had protested and also refused the vegan option, leaving with an espresso and threats never to return).
Then the coffee machine stopped working until one of her colleagues intervened. And when she went to sit down to eat a sandwich before the lunch rush, someone bumped into her and her sandwich landed on the floor. And during the rush, she bumped her knee at least three times and cut her little finger on a paper napkin. Suffice it to say, it was the worst day ever!
After serving a new customer, Tulip looked up at the clock and her heart began to beat faster, the forced smile on her lips turned into a real smile which made her colleague Chiara laugh.
When she took this job, Tulip didn't expect anything; she thought it would be a boring job, that she would have to put up with overly intrusive colleagues who would ask her inappropriate questions about her private life; she thought she would arrive in the morning, serve coffees and pastries, clean tables, before going home in the evening, starting all over again every day, trying to get used to such monotony.
What she hadn't anticipated was that she would have so much fun, that her colleagues and bosses would be far from intrusive, that they would be genuinely interested in her, and that they wouldn't take offense when there were things she didn't want to say. She also hadn't expected to wake up in the morning with the enthusiasm to go to work, and above all, she wasn't expecting her, the one who made all those afternoons better.
She hadn't expected this customer who had wandered in one day, quite by chance, seeking shelter from the rain, her pink hair plastered to her face and her clothes soaked because she'd forgotten her coat (who could forget a coat when it's raining outside?). She apologized for getting water everywhere, and Tulip should have been annoyed because she'd just mopped the floor, but when she met her beautiful gray eyes, nothing else mattered. Tonks, as she introduced herself, smiled at her, and Tulip knew then that she was lost; this girl had completely bewitched her.
Tonks received a call and, when the rain stopped, a gleaming motorbike was waiting for her outside. She glanced one last time at Tulip and, with a small, knowing smile, said âGoodbye, Tulipâ before walking through the door, and Tulip's brain went into overdrive. How did she know her name? (She racked her brains all night; it wasn't until the next day that she realized Tonks had simply read the name tag pinned to her chest.)
Tonks put on the leather jacket they handed her, then she put the helmet on and straddled the motorbike, holding onto the driver. When the motorbike started, Tonks turned her head toward her, looking at her through the shop window. Tulip couldn't see her eyes because of the helmet visor, but she could still imagine them perfectly well, and she couldn't help but blush. It was the first time she'd ever blushed so much, and she was glad to be closing up alone, because her colleagues would have had a field day teasing her. She mopped the floor to try and take her mind off things and stop thinking about that girl (that girl on that motorbike!) she'd probably never see again.
The next day, Tulip had resigned herself to it. The Universe had just put this perfect girl in her path only to take her away so quickly, surely to make her understand that she wasn't right for her, that this kind of girl is way too cool for her to be interested in (besides, Tulip doesn't dare get on a motorbike, it terrifies her, while Tonks seems so at ease).
And her colleague Badeea could repeat to her as many times as she wanted that she was made for the âgift of the Nymphsâ (whatever that might mean) to this day, Tulip hadn't met a single Nymph, and if anyone deserved to be called a âNymphâ, it was Tonks. Tonks, who had offered her nothing but her smile before vanishing forever. What a gift! Badeea should perhaps stop reading the future in the stars.
Tulip was there, cursing Badeea and her stupid predictions while cleaning one of the tables, when the door opened with a cheerful little clink. Tulip looked up, ready to greet the new customers, but the words caught in her throat when Tonks turned to look at her and smiled. She was back!
From that day on, Tonks came every day, trying all the drinks to choose her favorite (it was easy to guess the regulars' favorite coffee, they always ordered the same thing, but with Tonks it was different, she changed it every time and each of her orders was a surprise). Sometimes, she also ordered a pastry.
Sometimes she came with friends, sometimes she got takeout, sometimes she sat down at a table but left early because she had things to do, and sometimes she stayed longer, but whatever she did, she came every day, always wanting to be served by Tulip.
It had been two years since Tonks started coming every day (her hair was purple now), and Tulip still hadn't confessed her feelings. Chiara told her she had nothing to lose, that Tonks was just as smitten as she was (that her way of flirting was certainly strange, but that it was still flirting). Badeea always talked about stars and destiny, but Tulip was scared because, what if they were wrong? What if Tonks had simply enjoyed the atmosphere the first time and had come back for the drinks? What if she felt indebted because she'd spilled water everywhere the first time? What if coming every day was her way of apologizing?
After all, her colleagues must be mistaken because Tonks had never really shown any interest in her. Okay, she smiled at her every time she came in, but that was simply because she was a cheerful person. And if she spent a lot of time talking to her at the counter, it was simply because she was indecisive; she couldn't decide what to order because there were so many options. And if she said her name every time, it was simply because she was polite, and if she didn't use Badeea's or Chiara's names as much, it was probably because she spoke to them less often. And if she blushed when their fingers touched as Tulip handed her the tray, it was surely because she was embarrassed. And if Tonks stumbled every time Tulip looked at her a little too intently, it was simply because she was caught off guard. And if she stammered every time Tulip came to clean a table next to her and asked how her day had been, it was surely because she hadn't expected it.
And if Tonks always chose a table where she could see the counter, it might simply be because she didn't like watching passersby on the street. And if sometimes Tonks seemed to be looking at her and smiling, it might just be because she was lost in thoughtâŚ
It certainly had nothing to do with her having a crush on Tulip.
Tulip was filling the display case with pastries when the door opened with the cheerful jingle of a bell. She looked up so quickly that she almost dropped her tray.
Tonks entered the shop accompanied by her friend Penny, with whom she had already been several times. She had barely crossed the threshold when her gaze searched for Tulip, and when she found her, she smiled at her, walking towards her as if she had forgotten her friend was there.
Tulip's heart raced, pounding against her ribcage, and she put the tray of pastries back on the trolley behind her, before doing something else foolish, then she walked towards the counter where Tonks (and her friend) were waiting for her.
âHi, Tulip,â Tonks simpered, placing her hands on the counter and leaning slightly forward, as if she wanted to be even closer. âAre you having a good day?â
âOh, uh, yes,â Tulip stammered, feeling her legs tremble.
She was completely losing control when Tonks looked at her like that, her grey eyes so sparkling and full of mischief and her radiant smile.
âWhat can I get you?â asked Tulip, trying to compose herself.
âI'll have a cappuccino,â said Penny, stepping over to her friend's side.
Tulip looked away from Tonks, suddenly realizing that they were not alone (Tonks really had this power to make her forget everything around herâŚ).
âWith this?â asked Tulip, pressing down on the cash register to register the order.
âI'll have an apple crumble.â
âI'll take care of it!â Chiara interjected. âEat in or take away?â
âEat in,â replied Penny, turning to her friend. âI'll go sit down while you place your order.â
âOkay,â said Tonks without looking at her, her eyes still fixed on Tulip.
While Chiara prepared Penny's order, Tulip turned back to Tonks and felt her cheeks flush under the intensity of the grey eyes fixed on her. This girl really made her lose all her composure!
âWhat would you enjoy today?â
âLots of things,â Tonks replied enigmatically, giving her a knowing look, âbut for now I'll have Mochaccino.â
âOkay,â Tulip replied, her heart pounding in her chest.
Why did Tonks have to be so beautiful and so unattainable?
âAnd with that? We have blueberry muffins again.â
âOh! I love blueberry muffins.â
âI know,â Tulip couldn't help but reply.
âOh! You know my tastes?â Tonks teased with a smile.
âOh, uh,â Tulip panicked, feeling her cheeks flush even more, âyou told me once, and I have a pretty good memory. I can remember things about my regular customers.â
âSo thatâs all I am to you,â Tonks said, placing a hand on her heart and letting out a mock-dramatic sigh, âjust a regular customer, nothing more?â
âNo, I, uh,â Tulip stammered, her eyes wide, âthatâs not what I meant. I⌠well, I just wanted to point out that I have a good memory. I didnât want you to think I only remember information about you. Which would be weird, wouldnât it?â
âRelax, Tulip,â Tonks replied, winking at her. âIâm just teasing you. You know youâre cute when you blush, right?â
âIâŚâ Tulip began, gripping the counter to keep from fainting.
âIâll have the blueberry muffin,â Tonks said, as if she hadnât just short-circuited Tulipâs brain.
âIâll make it right away,â Tulip said automatically, unable to think straight. âYou can sit with your friend while I prepare it.â
âNo, Iâd rather wait hereâŚâ Tonks smiled, âunless that bothers you?â
âN-no, not at all.â
Tulip turned away, trying to remember how to use her legs to walk normally. Knowing that Tonks was behind her, watching her prepare her order, threw her mind into such chaos that she would soon be unable to say her own name.
What could Tonks have possibly done to her to leave her in such a state every time? No one had ever managed to destabilize her like that, and here was Tonks bewitching her after giving her a single glance on a rainy evening.
With as much dexterity as she still possessed, Tulip placed the Mocaccino on a tray, then added the largest blueberry muffin before handing it all to Tonks.
âThank you, Tulip,â Tonks smiled, taking the tray, her fingers brushing against Tulipâs.
Tonks held her gaze for a moment longer before turning away to rejoin her friend.
Tulip tried to keep herself busy to stop thinking about Tonks's gaze, her intense gray eyes, her smile, to avoid thinking about her fingers that had lingered a little longer than necessary in contact with hers. She tried to distract herself, to stop thinking only about Tonks, who sometimes glanced at her sideways before continuing her conversation with Penny, as if nothing had happened.
Tulip cleaned the counter, replaced the stack of takeaway cups, sorted the small sugar packets, and refilled the napkin holders. She rearranged the cups and bowls, the small pastry plates, always finding something new to do to keep her mind from wandering to Tonks, to keep her from looking at Tonks too intentlyâŚ
She played along with this little game for almost an hour, until Penny and Tonks got up to pay. Tulip cashed them in, asked them if everything had gone well for them before wishing them a good afternoon.
âGoodbye, Tulip,â said Tonks, pulling her friend along with her.
âSee you soon, Tonks,â replied Tulip, watching them walk away.
Before they reached the door, Penny turned around and approached the counter.
âI forgot to mention, but the apple crumble was delicious,â Penny smiled, sliding a napkin across the counter, âand this is to thank you for your service.â
She winked at her and removed her hand from the napkin before turning on her heel and pulling Tonks with her toward the door.
âWhat did you give her?â Tonks asked suspiciously, glancing at Tulip.
âDonât worry about it,â Penny smiled, and closed the door behind them.
Tulip watched them leave, catching Tonks's eye one last time before the two friends turned the corner, disappearing from her sight. Tulip lowered her head to the napkin and blushed as her heart raced again. There, on the slip of paper, was written âNymphadora Tonksâ followed by a phone number. It couldn't be true! It couldn't be Tonks's number! Her real number! It had to be a joke, it wasâŚ
âNymphadora Tonks,â Badeea read over her shoulder, a strange excitement in her voice, âdo you know what that means?â
âThat her name is Nymphadora,â Tulip mocked, lifting her head to look at her friend.
âIt means the stars have aligned for you,â Badeea exclaimed, without pointing out the irony.
âWhat?
âNymphadora,â Badeea clarified, âmeans âgift of the Nymphsââ
âAre you kidding me?â
âDo I look like Iâm joking?â Badeea asked, raising an eyebrow.
âYou mean thatâŚâ
âThat all this time, the gift of the Nymphs has been right in front of you, yes.â
Tulip lowered her head onto the small paper napkin in her hands, unable to contain the growing smile on her face. Everything was happening so fast in her head and body; she wanted to laugh and cry, she wanted to shout with joy, to jump up and down, she wanted to dance, to hug Chiara and Badeea⌠She felt so many things at once that she was dizzy.
âYou'd better send her a message,â suggested Chiara, approaching the counter after cleaning a table. âWe wouldn't want to upset the stars, would we?â
And who was Tulip to defy the stars? Perhaps Badeea had been right all along, perhaps she was meant for the Nymphs' gift⌠Perhaps Tonks wasn't just there for the drinks and pastries, after allâŚ
And perhaps there was no such thing as chance, perhaps that rainy day was not a mere coincidence, that Tonks had to enter that little shop thirty minutes before closing time, perhaps the Universe always had a plan, perhaps Tonks and Tulip were destined to meetâŚ
Tulip picked up her phone and sent a message to the number on the napkin, her heart pounding in her chest. She waited a few moments before her phone vibrated, announcing the arrival of a new message.
âIâm so glad my friend did something Iâve been afraid to do all this time. Would you like to meet up after your day?â
And perhaps Tulip's day had started very badly, but one thing was certain: it would end in the best possible way.
âI would really like to see you after my day.â
The person on the motorbike is Sirius because I love it when Sirius and Tonks are close
Available on Ao3 in English and French (soon)
Dividers by @diviniyae
Omg, Iâm gonna get a sugar rush after this!!! Aaaa!!! This is so, so sweet and cute and so, so lovely to read. Tulip being purposely oblivious is so real. I just love the details of how obvious it is to everyone around, even though weâre only getting Tulipâs POV - really incredible writing there!! This is such a sweet treat, Iâm really looking forward to whatever else you have planned!!
