A Hopeless Aromantic
All throughout life we are told that we’re gonna fall in love with someone, get married, raise a family together, and grow old together. I’ve always rejected this. Why? Because I am an aromantic demisexual. “But how can you be both aromantic and demisexual when you need an emotional connection before feeling sexual attraction to someone?” Sit down, reader, and let me explain everything to you.
Firstly, the definition of aromanticism is “an orientation in which someone does not experience romantic attraction.” This is different from asexuality because this has to do with romantic attraction and not sexual attraction, or the lack thereof. Romantic attraction is when you want to be romantically involved with a certain person or want to date a certain person. I am aromantic in that I have never wanted to date anyone and never felt any inclination to date someone no matter the gender.
Secondly, the definition of demisexuality is “an orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction when an emotional bond is formed.” This bond can be either romantic or platonic and is different from preferring to know someone well before having sex with them. Because I need to be at least friends with someone before I feel sexual attraction to them, I am a demisexual.
Another thing I should add is that while I am demisexual, I am also bisexual in that I feel sexual attraction to guys, girls, and nonbinary people, but prefer girls. But that only happens once I have a bond formed with them.
Now on to the main event. I have always related to the phrase “I want to marry my best friend” because I take it literally. The person who I want to marry would be my best friend at that time. Since I am aromantic, only platonic relationships work for me. This can be either something like friends with benefits (I still have a sex drive, unfortunately) or a queerplatonic relationship. All I want is a friend to spend the rest of my life with.