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@hs--confessions-blog
Between all the 420-friendly farmers, gardeners, and healers around here lately, I feel like there's about to be more weed in Cheyenne this summer than a Snoop Dogg concert.
“Didn’t you see that PSA with the guys smoking at the drive-thru? Pot slows your reflexes, pals. Toke responsibly, or the zombies will be grateful for the dank gratis edibles, if you catch my drift.”
okay but ada and elliot though — is anybody else as on board for this ship to sail as i am? maybe? except also charming and elliot, too. elliot and anybody really, hot d a m n.
“It seems like if anybody has 99 problems in the apocalypse, it’s Elliot. I’ve never met anybody who can capture hearts like that ( Jesus, take the wheel and steer me away from these Pokemon references, folks. I don’t know where they’re coming form ).
I think maybe Elliot should be up front with all the ladies in her back pocket about the ladies up her sleeve. It might save her a mess of drama. Then again, drama’s my bread and butter so...keep stirring that pot, El.”
I think Charming is going to lose her V-Cards to the Cheyenne stud aka. Elliot
“I didn’t realize the antiquated concept of virginity could be equated to Pokemon and Magic: the Gathering. Elliot seems like kind of a heartbreaker. Look, I’ve seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, okay? Let’s just hope the axe-wielding vixen Charming doesn’t become a woman scorned.”
Cassidy needs to let someone in to help her out. She's literally a walking pile of bones.
“Cassidy may be a little badass, but she seems like a girl who needs a lot of help. But have you ever tried to free an animal from a bear trap? They’ll fucking BITE you. I’m pretty sure that girl has bit any hand that’s fed her, save maybe Alexi’s. Too bad we don’t have cell phones--I’m guessing she’d have Mason Stokely on speed dial.”
“Don’t tell me I dragged my little ass out of bed for nothing. It’s like crickets out here, meatbags. With all the juices you’re basting in for walker happy meals, you’d think I could get some juicy confessions? Don’t tell me you’ve all been on your best behavior, because I fucking know better. Hit me up soon, or I’m going to die of boredom from counting the ceiling tiles in here.”
“Spring is fading into Summer like a stack of magazines on a Cheyenne porch, y’all. I MISS those gossip rags. Look, we don’t have celebrities to confess secrets or spread rumors about. It’s the apocalypse, all we’ve got is each other. So send me your secrets! The rumor mill is stale without them. SERIOUSLY, I’m gonna start cracking walker skulls if I don’t get some entertainment in here.”
“C’mon you losers ! The sun is shining longer and longer, which means means y’all have more hours in the day to get into trouble. So what’s the good word? Don’t tell me NONE of you don’t have anything good to confess. I’m no Father Finn Stokely, but I’d love to hear your sins anyway !”
“The dust may be clearing, but I’m sure as shit that your consciences aren’t ! Is there something you want to get off your chest? That’s what we’re here for. Give us the DIRT.”
Jonas is the cutest nugget we must protect him
“You’d think that was his mother’s job, wouldn’t you? Or at least the zoo of animals he has would do it, but I’ve got to agree with you there. Can some badass get over there and protect little Norman? I’m afraid that little cutie pie couldn’t hurt a fly.”
I'd totally jump on grandpa Aiden
“Let me know if he loves it when you call him Big Poppa.”
What's going on with John and Dahlia? They say they aren't together but they are spending a whole lot of time together!
“I want you to know that I’ve launched a thorough investigation into the matter only to come up completely empty-handed. If I were a gambler, however, I’d say John and Dahlia are going to become a Cheyenne Ross and Rachel, or–better yet–we might have a Mulder and Scully sitch on our hands. I hope y’all are ready to wait nine years for some half-assed spooning. Besides, the more they say they’re ‘not together’ the more I’m inclined to BELIEVE they’re together.”
when are cameron and finn finally gonna bite the fucking bullet?? they're gonna be 80 before he ever actually holds her hand jfc kdaklaelas
“Don’t be ridiculous...They’ll be DEAD way before that.”
oh lookie who strolled back into cheyenne, juliet kemp. i wonder how gwen is going to react to this mess coming back???
“Oh, Juliet--a girl as tragic as her namesake. At least she’s smart, beautiful, and cracks jokes like whip. I’m sure even if our resident Angel of Mercy (tm) Gwen IS upset, that she’ll be sure and shove it way, way down to preserve her pal’s feelings. Isn’t that the way their friendship works? Each one of them sacrificing feelings for no good goddamn reason? Who knows with those two.”
what cheyenne survivors are most like star wars characters???
“Ooh, lovely. I like where your head is at with this, but you’re gonna have to give me a little more to go on. What do you YOU GUYS think. Give me some characters and survivors, y’all. But, I mean, I’m obviously Leia.”
none of my friends moms looked like Dahlia wtf...
“Two words, y’all: Stacy’s Mom.”
the stokely sibs could cut glass with those cheekbones and jawbones... damn...
“They’re a beautiful group of people and so lucky to have each other in such trying times. Or...they would be lucky, if their emotionally repressing Irish Catholic background allowed for it. Sounds like all of them could use someone to open up to.”
i think Nathan might just take John's title as Hottest Man In Cheyenne
“Now, now, I think there’s room enough in EVERYONE IN CHEYENNE’S beds hearts for the both of them.”