SURVEY_PROGRAM

[hssurveyprogram]

A human stands alone in their room. It just so happens that today, like any other day, is just another average day. Funny little coincidence, huh? This is your VESSEL. Through command prompts input through the ASKBOX, you can control it. Why not get more acquainted with it? Then again, you are the one in control. You make the choices.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> YOU. HUMAN.

Oh good. Another voice talking in your head. Just what you needed this week.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Consider the thought of tormenting Susie the same way she tormented you.

You don't have to consider this thought for very long before deciding against it. Susie treats you like everyone else SHOULD treat you.

You're a misfit. A freak. So why do people act like you aren't?

Susie treats you like you deserve to be treated.

[hssurveyprogram]

You realize it must be some form of miracle you aren't late for class given you've been blankly staring at the fridge for what feels like several months.

[hssurveyprogram]

You take a moment to ogle what's left in the fridge while the person writing your personal hell takes a day off to finish whatever personal business they have. Personally, you think they should have made use of the queue system instead of posting 30 times in a single day.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Contemplate eating Berdly’s leg like a turkey leg.

You briefly entertain the notion before you remember he spends all of his time playing video games. Since he also doesn't eat junk food like MOST basement dwellers, there wouldn't have any meat on those bones- it'd be like biting into a fork.

You remove the stupid idea from your head before you get any more ideas.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Eat something.

You try to dig through the fridge, hoping that there might be chocolate in there instead...

DAMN IT. THAT WITCH TOOK THE CHOCOLATE FROM IN HERE, TOO.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> try to eat the flowers in the flowerpot

The last time you tried that, you were picking cactus needles out of your tongue for days.

[hssurveyprogram]

=> make funny face in mirror

You make a funny face in the mirror, though it's not entirely clear based off the sprite limitations this world seems to sporadically have.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> look at yourself in the mirror.

Despite all your prayers, it's still you.

[hssurveyprogram]

===> Go back to bed

Something tells you your mother wouldn't allow that. If you stick up here for much longer she'll come up and drag your fat ass downstairs whether you're ready or not.

[hssurveyprogram]

Eat all the non-green crayons.

What the hell are you thinking?! The non-green crayons aren't for eating! They taste RANCID!

You mentally berate yourself for even THINKING of eating something other than the green crayons.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Think about your friends Susie, Noelle, and... Berdly.

You haven't really thought much of Noelle in years... and Susie spends most of her time treating you like a punching bag.

And like HELL would you EVER be friends with Berdly.

What an odd idea to think of at least two of those as your friends.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Skip school.

Are you insane? With your mother waiting outside to drive you? She wouldn't like that one bit. You don't have much of a choice.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Phone a lawyer.

Did you know that you have rights? Constitution says you do. And so does some guy on TV. Too bad you forgot his phone number.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Phone a friend.

You only have one friend, and you haven't directly spoken to her in years. You're not sure if she even has a phone.

[hssurveyprogram]

==> Sneak into your mom’s room.

Drat. The woman put a lock on the door. You were hoping to break into the chocolate she hid in her room, but it seems she's deterred you as always.

She may have won the battle, but she will not win this war. You won't rest until those sweet creamy treats are yours.

Pause.