keep your memories
Soon I’ll be leaving, and I don’t know If I’ll ever come back. I’ll keep in mind every little details of your faces, of your smiles and the sound of your laughs. I know I’ll miss you, and you’ll probably miss me. But I know that I don’t belong here, and I have to search for my own peace, even if it means being alone. I know that the journey I’m about to begin will be amazing. My peace should not depends on you, on your feeling and you thoughts. As much as I know, I don’t love myself, but I’ll change everything to do so. I can’t change the people around me, but I can change the relationship I have with them. Don’t be surprise if I end what was between us, because it might have been toxic for my healing journey. I’ll stop making efforts, I’ll stop fighting to see you, I’ll put all that energy on learning to love myself. Yes, I’ll cancel our plans to watch Netflix on my bed all night long. No, I won’t come to the club tonight because I’m cooking my meals for the entire week. No, I don’t have to justify my answers. Yes, I always did justify my answers because I thought i had to. The only person that is dealing and struggling with my mentally ill mind is me, so the only person that should come first in my life is myself. I’m sorry, because I have been wrong all the time, I have made you feel familiar with being my priority. You are used to come first, even before myself. That is over. I’m already exhausted fighting for my life and trying to stay alive, so I won’t hold you up. If you want to leave, do so, I won’t be mad or sad. I’ll understand, and I hope you’ll too.
