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When Hiccup accidentally overhears a conversation between Astrid and Heather about him, he assumes Astrid's telling the truth about not having any feelings for him, and it makes him reevaluate his life plans. Thankfully, it's only a misunderstanding.
Hi! This is my first time participating in a fandom challenge. This is my entry for the @httydhiccstridweek Day 4 prompt: (Not) Stubborn. It might be a bit of a stretch….
@sorushing
Ao3
Hiccup meandered through the Edge woods. Toothless was taking his mid afternoon nap (poor nocturnal soul) and Hiccup had been tinkering in his hut. He had a few ideas for a tail fin improvement, but he was trying to combine them all and it simply wasn’t working.
So, like he often did on Berk to clear his head, he went on a walk in the woods. The day was pleasant, Heather was back for a while, maybe even to stay. Everyone else seemed to be finding ways to stay busy, which meant not annoying him.
Yes, a pleasant walk indeed.
He found himself heading toward Astrid’s clearing where she’d set up targets for axe throwing. Not surprising he’d seek her out. It would have been more surprising if he hadn’t.
Through the brush, he could hear Astrid and Heather talking, interspersed with the thunks of blades into wood.
Maybe he ought to let them catch up in peace. He didn’t have anything particular he wanted to talk about, and both of them could use quality girl time.
As he turned to leave, he swore he heard Astrid say his name. Not calling out to him, but talking about him to Heather.
Too curious for his own good, he kept low and his steps quiet. He stayed hidden among the bushes and behind a tree, safe from arrant axes.
Just for a minute, he told himself. It wasn’t polite to spy.
“You guys are a thing, right?” Heather asked.
Hiccup felt his face flush hot as he heard Astrid’s axe fly wildly off in the distance.
“What?! No! J-just friends!”
He hugged himself, trying to stave off the heartbreak just that sentence caused.
“Hmmm. He’s pretty cute.”
“Sure, if you like the unassuming, heroic, dragon rider type, heh.”
“Fishlegs said you guys used to kiss. Did it not work out?”
“Wh-what? Used to—no no, he’s got it all wrong. Yeah, I kissed Hiccup in front of everyone, but it was just the one time. It was after he lost his leg and he was finally up and walking around. I was relieved that he was alive.”
“So you kissed him?”
“That’s—er—that is to say, I was relieved, and he had ended the war, so I thought he deserved a kiss.”
Hiccup couldn’t recall the last time he’d heard Astrid flustered. It was confusing, but exciting? Talking about him, kissing him, made her nervous.
“Oh, I get it. A reward for a good deed.”
“Exactly.”
“What about the other two?”
“Other—? Oh I’m going to kill Fishlegs.”
Heather laughed. “You should know better. He gave me all the hot gossip!”
Astrid grunted, and hurled an axe at a target, sinking the blade into the wood. “Well, no use in lying. Fine. I kissed him a total of three times…but those were years ago! One was during Snoggletog. All the dragons left to go have their mating ritual, which we didn’t know they did, and we were all sad. Toothless couldn’t initially go, so Hiccup made him a tailfin he could use on his own, and then he left too.”
“I remember this story,” Heather giggled. “Fishlegs locked Meatlug in a barn and she laid eggs…also how he found out she was a girl.”
“Yeahhhh…”
“And how you guys found out that boulder class eggs explode.”
“Let’s gloss over that part,” Astrid rubbed the back of her head. “When Meatlug got free, Hiccup somehow got caught up in her escape and went with her to the rookery. A day later, he returned with all the dragons and their babies…all except Toothless.”
Hiccup craned his head to listen more, as Astrid’s voice had grown softer.
“We were all so devastated they left. I was heartbroken that Stormfly just left so abruptly, and then Hiccup was there with Stormfly and all her babies. He returned her to me…but he was still so profoundly sad and clearly missed Toothless. I was so grateful and he was so…” she sighed. “So yeah, I kissed him again. Just a peck.”
“I can see why.”
Astrid sighed again, grunting at the end as she heaved her axe over her shoulder. “The last time was during Thawfest. An annual tournament to decide the best Viking. Snotlout had won every year since we were in diapers, and you know how much of a sore winner he is.”
“A little unbearable?”
“A lot unbearable. Truthfully, I always thought I’d be the one to beat him, but my family has a notorious curse on our Thawfest performance. No Hofferson has won a point in a hundred years. Just bad luck.”
“So no chance of humbling Snotlout?”
“Not initially, no. But these Thawfest games would be the first to include Dragons. And with a Nightfury, well, now there was an even playing field.”
Hiccup smiled at her recollection. Hearing it from her perspective was interesting.
“Snotlout was always mean to Hiccup, but he became a lot more respectful after Hiccup lost his leg. Thawfest brought the ugly back out, and Hiccup was right there, handing it right back. I honestly didn’t recognize him. He’d always taken bullying and criticism so tactfully, either letting it roll off his shoulders or turning it into a joke, but now he was showboating and hurling insults…granted, Hiccup hadn’t ever won anything before, so he probably didn’t know what that felt like.”
Ouch, Astrid. Hiccup thought.
“He had the chance to beat Snotlout. And I think Spitelout, Snotlout’s dad, was very aware of that. Spitelout’s always been cruel, and reamed Snotlout out in front of all of us, while Stoick just told Hiccup to do his best.” There was warmth in her voice as she finished, “during the final race, Hiccup ‘had a problem’ with Toothless and Snotlout was able to win. Everyone else thought there was a malfunction with the tail, but I could tell it was on purpose. Hiccup gave up his chance to finally win Thawfest and ‘be the best viking’ because he knew the pride and accomplishment would last a little while, but the shame and humiliation Snotlout would feel would last a lifetime. He let Snotlout, the boy that bullied him his entire life, win, because they were friends now and that’s what friends do.”
“And you thought he should at least win something.”
“Exactly.”
Hiccup rested a hand on his blushing face. He assumed Astrid had figured him out, and that was why she kissed him, but to see that she had so deeply and thoroughly read his mind and heart…
But she’d been good at that for years. He could never hide his feelings from her. With one look, she was able to determine what was on his mind or what was bothering him.
All but one thing, and he was fairly sure she knew and just didn’t comment on it.
“So you don’t have any feelings for him at all? None whatsoever?”
Hiccup held his breath.
“I mean…of course I like him, I love him! But like—not love love. A platonic love.”
“Like a brother?”
“Ehhh, like a friend. A good friend. I trust him, but that’s really it.”
Crack. Hiccup was pretty sure his heart just stopped, and maybe they could hear it snapping in half from where they were.
Tears bit at his eyes, but he was determined not to let them fall. Astrid was entitled to feel however she wanted. Her friendship was so important to him, he’d take it in whatever form she was willing to give.
No wonder the random kisses stopped. She just…didn’t like him.
Then he started spiraling. What was the tipping point? When did she realize he wasn’t all that special? Because you don’t just kiss your friends, there had to have been some fondness she held for him at one point. And then it disappeared somewhere along the line.
He did something to repulse her.
“So…you wouldn’t mind if I asked him out?” Heather asked.
Hiccup choked, a wheeze slithering up his throat. He had to place a hand over his mouth to keep it silent.
What?! Heather?! Why?!
It seemed like Astrid had similar thoughts as she barked, “excuse me?!”
“Yeah,” Heather replied, calm and cool. “If you don’t like like him, I think he’s pretty cool. Maybe he’d go on a date with me.”
“That’s—!” Astrid balked. Then, after a moment, she said, “you know what? You’re right! You’re both clever and cool, I bet you’d get along great. You should go for it.”
What?! Hiccup screamed in his mind. Astrid, don’t!
“Really?” Heather chirped. “You sure you don’t mind?”
“Nah, I was just concerned since you just got here. But why not? He seems to like you.”
Yeah, Hiccup liked Heather, about as much as he liked Ruffnut. She was a friend that he trusted. Granted, he did think Heather was pretty, but that was the extent of his attraction.
Hiccup shook his head, feeling all sorts of hurt and betrayal. He needed to get out of here.
Just as quietly as he came, he tiptoed away, careful to not make his foot click or even brush against leaves.
Once he was far enough away, he booked it back to the Edge, eyes stinging with tears. He didn’t want to cry, but gods how he loved her!
And now he would have to navigate putting his heart back together while figuring out what to do with Heather.
He’d turn her down, obviously. He was in no condition to agree to any sort of date, no matter how casual.
He needed time.
He turned the path to the Clubhouse and saw Snotlout and Tuffnut wrestling in the grass. He tried to pass them without a word, but Snotlout spotted him.
“Hey, why the long face?”
Hiccup didn’t answer, but kept walking.
“Whoa, yeah! You been crying? What happened?” Asked Tuffnut.
“I’m fine,” Hiccup protested, his voice thick with sorrow.
Snotlout and Tuffnut quickly abandoned their training and flanked Hiccup, one on each side.
“You say that, but your face is soaked with tears,” Snotlout smirked. “What? Did you see a big scary spider?”
Hiccup never appreciated Snotlout’s teasing, who would? But right now, he was ready to break. Instead, he found a safe lie and said, “my leg is killing me.”
Snotlout’s face steeled into something more serious. In a blink, Hiccup was up on his back, being carried back to the Outpost piggyback style.
“You don’t have to—“
“Don’t comment on it,” Snotlout grumbled. “Just let me get my weight training in…though you weigh nothing, so it’s not going to do any good.”
Hiccup just hung on and hid his face in Snotlout’s shoulder. Pain was pain, no matter where it was coming from, and comfort was comfort, even if it was coming from his dickhead cousin.
Snotlout carried him all the way back to his hut and sat him on his bed. “You good if you just chill for a bit? Or do you need me to get Fishface?”
“No, getting off of it for a while is fine. Thanks Snotlout, I appreciate it.”
“No problem,” he smirked. Then he punched Hiccup in the shoulder. “If I see you up before dinner, I’m bringing you back…and it won’t be a pleasant piggyback ride next time.”
“Noted.”
Snotlout gave him a salute and left, leaving Hiccup all alone in his hut.
All alone, and miserable.
It had been such a nice day too!
Hiccup sighed as he laid down on his bed. Curling up helped with the pain.
He didn’t want to sulk. He didn’t want to cry his eyes out, but wow how quickly his world flipped upside down! He always thought there was something special between him and Astrid. They could almost read each other’s minds.
I don’t want to live in a world without you.
And she had repeated that to him. Had that meant nothing? Or just not as much as it meant to him?
How many sleepless nights had he tossed and turned thinking about her, dreaming about her, planning when he’d make that step? He was so certain that this was mutual and just unrushed. When he finally did kiss her, she’d reciprocate.
Because he trusted her. He trusted her too much, apparently, and never thought she’d hurt him.
And it stung. All the way down to his toes, he felt a blinding ache. He and Astrid hadn’t dated, no, but she was so intrinsic to his life, as deeply intertwined with every aspect, there was no escape. She was in all his happy memories. She was there cheering him on in all his victories. How was he supposed to face her now?
How was he supposed to move on?
A sob cut through his mental tirade and he buried his eyes in the crook of his elbow.
Gods, this hurt. And that meant it was real. It wasn’t puppy love or a little crush, it was all encompassing desire and adoration.
He loved Astrid Hofferson. And she didn’t love him back.
“Wurrr?” Toothless warbled in his face.
Hiccup looked up sharply, meeting those empathetic green eyes. “Oh. Hey bud, didn’t hear you come up.”
“Weerrp?”
“I’m okay…or I will be.”
Toothless sniffed over his body, checking for injuries.
“No, no it’s…it’s not that. I um…I found out that Astrid probably doesn’t feel the same way I do.”
“Rrrummp.” Toothless rolled his eyes, clearly showing a large degree of doubt.
“No ‘rruummp’! I heard it! With my own ears! She and Heather were talking and she asked her if we were a couple and Astrid denied it up and down. Said she liked me as a friend and that’s it.” He clenched his eyes shut as they started to water again. “She actually encouraged Heather to ask me out.”
“Rreweerr?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. I thought…well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong.” He tucked his head into his arm again, putting pressure on his eyelids.
Toothless, ever the faithful companion, climbed up onto the bed and wormed his legs under Hiccup. Then he dragged him back and cocooned him in paws and wings, blocking out the world and whatever hurt his boy.
Hiccup could cry in peace.
Hours passed, and Hiccup cried on and off. He’d gather himself, hype himself up to some sort of mantra of ‘it’s going to be fine, you’ll get over it’. And then he’d break down again as he remembered something else that Astrid’s presence was intertwined with and was now ruined.
He hadn’t cried like this in years. Not since…not since he lost his leg. That time was a whirlwind of emotion. His father disowned him, and the pain of being cast out of the tribe was excruciating. Losing everything he loved, everything he had tried so hard to protect and those he tried to impress. It was ripped away.
But Astrid remained, standing by his side and encouraging him in her own abrasive way. She poked and prodded at him until he kicked himself into gear, then she was with him through all of it. She helped him train the others, flew him to Helheim’s gate, did everything he asked of her and helped him fulfill his destiny.
Back then, gaining his father’s love and acceptance had come from his arrival. Just coming to help was enough for Stoick…though seeing the Red Death with his own eyes probably helped.
But for the rest of the Vikings, for everyone else that ridiculed him, his outcast had to be traded for. He lost his leg, but found a place in the tribe.
Except…Astrid never needed any of that. She was there from that magical flight, and by his side, she’d remain. Without her, he’d still be on that cliff, watching his father and Toothless sail away.
Without her…
What was he going to do?
Stopping the hunters, saving the dragons, it was all the right thing to do, and he was driven to do it. But for how long? Without her rallying beside him, how long would his spirit hold up before it broke?
He was just one man. Less than one man, really, with less than a whole dragon. They could do great things, had done great things.
But without Astrid, the victories wouldn’t be as sweet, and the losses would hurt even more.
But he’d do it. He’d smile and keep her at arms length, if that’s where she wanted to be. All he wanted was for her to be happy.
Oh gods, what if she fell in love with someone? With this new perspective, he was certain she was just not interested in love and more interested in the fight. What if that changed? What if she met someone on their travels? What if he had to watch her fall in love and he had to pretend to be happy for her?
No. No Odin, please no. That might actually kill him.
The dinner bell rang. Everyone else was probably gathered already, and this was just for his benefit.
Dare he bother? Well, if he didn’t go, Astrid would surely check on him. And he just couldn’t handle that right now.
He patted Toothless’ belly. “Alright, you big lug, let me up.”
Toothless warbled a protest, but unfurled his legs and wings so Hiccup could crawl out.
From here, Hiccup could see and hear that it had started raining. Not too hard, but enough to be a pain to fly in.
“Ah, sorry bud. Probably no flight tonight. Looks like you can go back to napping.”
Toothless cocked his head to the side, concerned.
Hiccup went to his wash basin and splashed the freezing cold water on his face, hoping that the evidence of tears would wash away. Maybe Snotlout had told them what happened, and any redness would be attributed to his leg instead of the real problem.
The rain storm did make his calf ache though, and thinking about it made it flare up. A twinge, enough to be uncomfortable, but not enough to be debilitating like Snotlout thought. Still, to be proactive and to help with his cover story, he took out his cane. A gift from Gobber when they left home, only used on the worst days.
Well, this was a pretty terrible day.
“Weerrr?”
“I’m okay. I’m going to make an appearance, eat some dinner, and then come back. I might even be able to get some work done on that tail.”
Toothless didn’t seem to care about the tail, just his boy. He let out another concerned wuff and padded closer.
“You’re smothering me,” Hiccup scolded. “Just…I’m dealing with it.”
“Rrrggh.”
“I know…I love you too, bud.”
Hiccup gave him a scratch behind the ears and then headed out into the rain.
By the time he reached the clubhouse, he was soaked. As he thought, he was the last to arrive, and everyone looked up as he entered.
Astrid was up like a shot, jogging over to him. She took his free arm and draped it over her shoulder.
“You don’t have to—“
“You have your cane.”
“Yeah…”
She led him to his normal spot, right next to her, and sat him down. Then she took his cane and placed it out of the way, but close enough for him to grab.
A plate and mug were placed in front of him, probably by Fishlegs, but he wasn’t keeping track. He just stared at his food and idly pushed it around with his fork.
Having Astrid fret and dote on him made his appetite evaporate.
Someone was talking, maybe Snotlout or the twins. They were telling a joke, or maybe a story. There was laughter which petered out to companionable silence.
“What about you, Hiccup?” Heather asked. “We didn’t see you at all today. What were you up to?”
He frowned slightly, scrounging up a story.
“Ex-nay on the ay-day,” whispered Snotlout, still loud enough everyone heard.
“Yeah, on bad leg days, you don’t want to know what he was up to,” said Tuff, who then received an elbow to the gut.
He took it and ran with it. “Well, I had an idea for a new tailfin,” Hiccup began. “Then I got stuck and went for a walk. I…pulled something, and spent the rest of the day laying down.” He shrugged. “Not very interesting.”
“…I’m sorry to hear that.”
Hiccup nodded, always awkward when people apologized for his leg pain. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. No one needed to apologize.
Heather got this big, mischievous grin across her lips and said, “I know what will cheer you up!”
Astrid whipped her head over to glare at Heather. “Not now.”
Heather seemed to ignore her, however, as she declared, “let’s go on a date!”
The room went silent. Snotlout dropped his fork. Ruffnut choked on her drink.
Not so subtly, everyone looked at Astrid. Hiccup glanced at her from his periphery, but didn’t linger.
Her face was stony cold, and borderline murderous.
“Well?” Heather prodded. “What do you say? Unless…you have your eye on someone else…”
“Heather.” Astrid snapped.
Ah. So this was a game she was playing. Well, unfortunately, this wasn’t a game to Hiccup. His feelings, Astrid’s lack of feelings, it wasn’t amusing. It wasn’t fun. It was beyond painful, and he wasn’t doing this.
“Not interested,” he said coldly.
The gasps from the group weren’t a surprise. He never spoke harshly to anyone without good reason. And even then, Heather hadn’t ever been on the receiving end.
Then he stood, left his cane behind, left a full plate of food, and walked with purpose out of the clubhouse and into the pouring rain.
He could hear the chaos before he was out of earshot.
“I tried to warn you, Muttonhead!” Astrid shouted, clearly angry.
“What the hell was that?!” Ruffnut barked.
“I didn’t think he’d react like that!” Heather defended.
And then he was off, trying to get away from them. Going back to his hut was a sure fire way to get sought out quickly, or Toothless would be smothering him again.
Either way, back out into the rain it was. No particular destination, he just wandered, letting the rain soak him through.
Eventually, he walked to the edge of the landing strip, and his escape came to an end. No where else to go, but he was far enough away for now, and in the downpour, in the dark of the evening, no one would look for him out here.
Fresh hot tears mingled with the cold rain on his face.
He sighed in exasperation. “Just stop crying already,” he scolded himself. “It’s not doing any good.”
But that only made him feel worse and cry harder.
“Hey,” Astrid’s voice cut through his sorrow. It was stern, almost motherly. “Why are you out here? Why are you standing?”
So much for getting away for a while…
He didn’t respond, didn’t turn to her, nothing. But he did cross his arms, more to hug himself than anything.
“Snotlout said he found you weeping in pain earlier. Do I need to carry you?”
“No.”
“I brought your cane. Let’s go back to your hut and get you a hot rag.”
His breath hitched. She was so thoughtful, so thorough. And so self-sacrificing! Heather, her best friend, was here, and Astrid was doting on him.
He couldn’t let her do that.
“Astrid, could you leave me alone?” He croaked.
That was decidedly not the correct thing to say to get her off his back, as she was immediately in front of him, brows drawn and frowning hard. “No way in Midgard am I leaving you alone right now. It’s my job to make sure you’re taken care of.”
He clenched his eyes shut. “Who gave you that job? My dad?”
“I gave it to myself.” She poked his chest. “Because you’re too reckless and impulsive for your own good. Someone needs to make sure you don’t break your neck!”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“No? You’re all good to just stand out here and get sick? You’re content to be out the rest of the week with leg pain?”
“My leg isn’t the problem!” He barked. “Now leave me alone!”
Her eyes went wide and she took a step closer, resting a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?”
He scoffed and turned away.
But Astrid persisted. She reached up and pushed his sopping wet bangs out of his face. Her touch was tender and so full of love, it might as well be a blow from a mace.
“Talk to me, Hiccup. You can trust me.”
He looked back at her, a lump in his throat. Hopefully it was dark enough out that she couldn’t see the redness on his face.
Might as well just rip the Nadder quill out, right? Have this conversation and figure out where they stand? That was the smart thing. It would probably help figure out where to go from here.
A hot tear slipped between the frigid rain drops.
“I did go on a walk,” he began. “I went to your clearing, and heard you say my name…and I decided to eavesdrop.”
Astrid’s eyes blew wide as she covered her mouth. “Oh Odin…how much did you hear?”
“It started with Heather asking if we were a couple and I left when you encouraged her to ask me out.”
“All of it,” she cringed. “You heard all of it.”
“So…I just…I thought…” he sighed. “I’m trying to come to terms with it. I had…expectations, or maybe assumptions, and didn’t realize you…didn’t feel the same.” The last bit came out with a croak.
“Hiccup…”
“So that’s what happened,” he glanced away. “You’re so deeply involved with every part of my life, I’m trying to figure out how to get over you and —“
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Stop right there,” she snapped. “You’re not making any decisions like that.”
“Astrid…” he mumbled against her hand.
“Let me finish.” She huffed. “That conversation wasn’t meant for you.”
“I know, I shouldn’t have lis—“
She punched him in the arm, though not too hard, just enough to shut him up.
“Ow!”
“I’m not done,” she scolded. “Hiccup, I lied to Heather. I didn’t want to talk to her about my feelings for you, but I know her. She would have pestered me until I told the truth. I still don’t think she believed me.”
“You were very convincing.”
She held his face. “But it was a lie. You know I care a lot about you, right?”
He felt his mouth tremble. “Yeah…?”
She smiled and wiped over his cheek with her thumb. “You think I’d come looking for you in this storm and worrying myself sick over you and somehow not be utterly crazy about you? You’re not the genius I thought.”
He started to feel better. A smile pulled on his lips. “You’re crazy about me?”
“Apparently you’re the only one it wasn’t obvious to.”
“Sorry for being dumb.” He sniffed. “I think there’s something wrong with my brain sometimes, because I can’t accept compliments or take people at face value.”
She shook her head. “You aren’t dumb, Hiccup. We never talked about it. I guess we both just made assumptions.”
He nodded, before clenched his eyes shut to stop the fresh round of tears that cropped up. “No no, no more of that please,” he muttered.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Astrid pleaded, gently brushing his face with her fingertips. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“You didn’t mean to.”
“That doesn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.”
He took a shaky breath. “Why did you encourage Heather to ask me out?”
She actually laughed. “Oh my gods, that was so stupid! I knew exactly what she was doing. She likes Fishlegs after all. She was trying to get me to protest and get all possessive. But it was obvious, so I called her bluff.”
“You sure did.”
“I definitely didn’t think she’d go through with it. Maybe she was trying to get me to throw up a stink at dinner. Or she was hoping that you’d say ‘sorry, but I have someone I like’ or something.”
“Was I too harsh?”
“No!” She cackled. “That’ll teach her to be nosy!”
Hiccup exhaled, feeling much better. Things weren’t as dire as he feared, and he hadn’t hurt Heather’s feelings. “What were your assumptions?”
She smiled softly, playing with the hair at his nape. “Well, I assumed you still had that ginormous crush on me that you had when we were kids. I figured when the time was right, and you felt like things were stable, you’d make a move. You need a wife and heir, afterall. What did you assume?”
Even though he knew she’d take it well, confessing still was difficult and his words got caught in his tight throat. With glassy eyes and a wispy voice, he told her, “I thought you’d always be by my side. I thought we’d grow old together. I thought…things wouldn’t be too different, but I’d be allowed to kiss you and hold you…I assumed you were mine.”
She smiled. “Well, it sounds like we’re on the same page now. I’m not going anywhere. Things are pretty crazy, so feel free to take as much time as you need. Make that move when you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
He grabbed her roughly by the hips and pulled her to him. In a flash, his lips were on hers, clumsy and desperately kissing, driven by need and desire. Hope was rekindled in his heart and he wasn’t wasting another moment.
Astrid smiled against his lips and returned the kiss. She dug her fingers into his drenched hair and pressed herself firmly against him.
Hiccup pulled away far enough to press more fierce kisses across her jaw and down her neck. “I’m crazy about you too,” he murmured against her skin. “I spent the day thinking about how I was going to go on without you. What my life would look like if I didn’t have you by my side.” He hungrily grabbed her and held her tight, nuzzling into her neck. “I don’t think I could do it.”
“I don’t want to live in a world without you,” Astrid reminded him. “And you don’t, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You swear?”
“I don’t want to be anywhere else. You’ve made me the person I am today. Even the darkest, roughest days we have are tolerable because I’m with you.”
“I feel the same,” he confessed, before kissing her again. “I love you, Astrid Hofferson. I'm going to make a contract with your parents as soon as possible, because I’m going to marry you. If there are no objections?”
“None from me.”
“Then let’s iron out the details later.” He kissed her fiercely, digging his fingers into her hips as he held her possessively.
Astrid returned the hold, almost painfully tugging on his hair.
They nipped at each other, trying to figure out how this whole ‘kissing’ thing worked, and trying desperately to devour the other.
Tongues brushed together, though neither knew who started it. Soon their desperate kisses turned into lustful exploration, filled with pleased moans and the awkward mouth noises that came from sloppy kissing. Then that led to giggles.
“How long were you waiting for me?” He asked before kissing her jaw and neck.
Astrid lazily looped her arms over his shoulders and tilted her head to the side to give him more access. “Hmmm…I liked you for a long time. That first flight with Toothless, when you showed me how good life could be and that peace was possible…I remembered thinking ‘I’m probably going to end up marrying this boy’ kind of out of nowhere. And the thought didn’t disgust me, so I hugged you.”
He remembered that hug. Her arms around him were a sign that he’d won her over to his side. He just didn’t realize how much he’d won her over. “Really?”
“Mmmhmm. Of course, I didn’t know what the turning point would be. I just knew that you were going to do great things and I wanted to be a part of all of it.”
“Astrid…”
“I think I started getting impatient after we took down Dagur at Outcast island. Our enemies were all taken care of, and there was finally peace.”
“Three years ago?”
“More or less.”
He frowned. “Why didn’t you make the move?”
“I did. Three times. But you never really acknowledge it. Just kinda smiled at me.”
His jaw dropped. She had him. She was absolutely right! “Oh Astrid…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know—”
“Hush. You just weren’t ready.”
“I’m pretty extra sure I was, I just—I didn’t—!”
She silenced him with a kiss. “All in the past, babe. You’re mine now.”
“Always have been.” He returned the kiss, overwhelmed with the sheer love for her that this day had stirred up inside him. “Always will be.”
She pulled away for a moment, pushing his sopping wet hair out of his face. They were both drenched to the bone, but the heat they were giving off kept them plenty warm. “You know, once we let people know that we’re officially together, Berk’s going to be reluctant to let us live out here unsupervised.”
He pouted for a moment, knowing she was right, before growing a wicked grin. “You know who you’re talking to, right? I’ve obliterated every tradition thrown at me. If I tell my dad we’re together, he’ll give me some half-assed lecture about being careful, and then he’ll give me a wink with a twinkle in his eye.”
She chuckled. “You think?”
“That’s what he did when we moved out here.”
She barked a loud laugh at that, throwing her head back in delight.
Hiccup took the opportunity to swoop in and kiss at her throat, tonguing her when he reached her pulse point.
The action made her shiver.
“Oh my lady,” he pouted, though he wasn’t all that choked up about it. “You're soaked through! Maybe we should go back to my hut…” he leaned in and spoke in her ear. “And get out of these wet clothes?”
She poked his nose. “You’re naughty. I’m going to have to keep an eye on you.”
“You can say no.”
“I didn’t.”
His eyes widened in excitement. “Race you?”
“You can try, Peg-Leg Pete.”
“Excuse me?!”
She burst from his arms with a cackle and ran down the ramp towards their huts.
—-
Toothless was resting. Not sleeping, not even dosing. Just resting. He had his head on his paws as he grumbled in irritation.
Something had hurt his boy. And it was a pain he couldn’t do anything about, because it was inside. One of those pains that would take time and love to heal.
Just as Toothless shifted on his rock again, trying to get comfortable, the roller door to the hut opened, and he perked up. Hiccup was back!
With Astrid?
He tilted his head in confusion. Wasn’t Astrid the cause of his pain? What was she doing here?
Toothless watched as the two talked in hushed tones, punctuated with that weird human lip contact and giggles.
The smile on Hiccup’s face reassured him that things were turning around.
Then the two were taking off their outer skins and draping them near the fire. Then they were down to their vulnerable pink states and touching each other with their paws and tongues.
Toothless really didn’t want to know where this was going, as humans were notorious for having the weirdest mating rituals.
Hiccup seemed fine. Better than fine, really, so Toothless made his hasty retreat to the stables to get away…not without smacking his boy’s bare butt with his tail.
I want to do something for today’s prompt but don’t have any ideas. 😭
I hope I can inspire you a bit!!
When I first chose the prompt, I thought about how Hiccup/Astrid have different attachments to these two things.
Astrid, for example, seems to feel a much stronger tie to her home, and that might play into how you interpret the prompt.
Hiccup, on the other hand, with his more explorer-aligned nature basically has „home“ in people, not a place, and he values the freedom to explore a lot (which he gives up when he becomes Chief…somewhat).
You could perhaps touch in how their ideas might clash, or how they harmonise together <3
On a more fluffy note, you could explore them when they first share a home post-marriage or during rtte.
Or you can take it a more angsty route when they leave Berk for New Berk, or when Berk is destroyed in HTTYD 2 :)
It's the last day of @httydhiccstridweek, and it's been crazy, enjoyable ride. Thank you so much @sorushing for hosting it! I hope we can do it again next year!
Summary:
“You again,” Hiccup greeted her. “Still think we’re lying?” She stopped in front of the counter, eyes stony but the fear behind them wasn’t well concealed. She was clutching each of her elbows with the opposite hand. Her blonde hair was loose and a little wild, like she had run her fingers through it quite a few times since she had done it.
“How - how long does it take?” she asked quietly. “To - how long do I have?” Hiccup pushed himself upright and ambled over to the shelves behind him.
“Without this? Usually around a couple months. With this?” He shook the bottle gently. “Um. Longest the patient ever lasted was up to a year.” The blonde stared at the bottle in his hands bleakly.
“A year at most?” she asked faintly.
~
Of course, the universe hated him, so the person he’d fall for s would be a girl who was already dying because she was in love with someone else.
Read on AO3
He was often surprised at the patients that came in, but none had surprised him as much as the stunning blonde fidgeting in front of him.
“Yes?” he asked as she stood staring at him. “Are you lost?”
“No,” she said, frowning. “This is Blue Oleander, right? The sign was a little . . . faded.” He quirked one side of his mouth into a grimace of apology. Their sign was faded and overgrown with plants, but the desperate people always found them anyway.
“That’s correct,” Hiccup replied. “At your service. What do you need?” He didn’t know why he asked. Blue Oleander sold a few concoctions, the gray blue walls covered in unfinished gray wooden shelves lined with bottles, boxes, and pills. They were also a certified pharmacy, with a little extra kick, not that the customers really cared. People only came here for one thing.
“My doctor told me to come here,” she shared. “She said you’re the best.” Hiccup nodded and checked his clipboard sitting on the cluttered desk.
“Come this way, Miss . . .?”
“Astrid Hofferson,” she answered promptly. Hiccup nodded and wrote the name down. He’d probably never see that name again. There was no way a girl like her had any cause to be here.
“Why’d your doctor send you?” he asked. “Can you tell me what kind of symptoms you’ve been having?”
“Nothing, really,” she said. “Mostly short breath, but that’s weird because I exercise, and I don’t smoke, I have a nutritious diet, and I’ve never had respiratory problems before.”
“Hmm,” he frowned. “You said you went to your doctor first?” People usually had glaringly obvious symptoms before they sought out help from them.
“Yeah,” she said. “I was just going for my checkup, and she asked me if I had been experiencing anything unusual, and I remembered, yeah, actually, I was having trouble breathing. It’s - I’m an athlete. I need to get enough oxygen when I compete.”
“Yeah,” he hummed non committedly. “But that doesn’t sound like the abnormal illnesses we usually deal with. Was there no physical evidence of any type of disease? You sure it couldn’t be a cold? What made her certain it was an abnormal malady?”
“She, um, she asked me if I had any . . . romantic feelings for anyone,” she admitted. Hiccup raised an eyebrow.
“Do you?” he asked.
“Is that really a necessary question?” she snapped, frowning.
“It is, actually,” he said, not missing a beat. She blinked, taken about. “Do you?” he prompted.
She hesitated, her face twisting ruefully. “Yes,” she hissed, annoyed by such a personal question and his clinical detachment.
“Okay,” he made another note. “I’m going to check your throat and put you through an X-ray even if it’s too early to see anything, and then the doctor can diagnose you.”
A while later she sat stonily on the cot as she processed Dr. Ingerman’s words.
“I have . . . what?” she asked faintly.
“Better known as Hanahaki,” Fishlegs clarified. “It’s a disease one develops in the lungs when they suffer from unrequited love, causing them to cough up flower petals that may or may not develop into full grown flowers until the love is requited, or until the afflicted dies.”
Astrid looked horrified. “It’s fatal?” she demanded.
“Yes,” Fishlegs admitted.
“Okay, but you can cure it, right?” she asked, laughing disbelievingly. “I mean, there’s no way I could actually die from this?”
“Not really,” Fishlegs sighed. “It’s something the patient kind of has to cure. There are cases where it can be removed at the expense of the feelings towards the object of their affections-”
“Perfect. When can I schedule one of those?” she interrupted briskly.
“- But they are very dangerous, have a long recovery period, extremely expensive, and um, we don’t offer them.”
“What!” she cried.
“We can’t afford to pay a surgeon-” Fishlegs tried to protest, his voice growing smaller as she wagged her finger angrily.
“Listen here,” she began dangerously, rising from the cot, paper rustling ominously. “Dr. Winger said you were the best, but -”
“Atali?” Hiccup interrupted from the corner of the room. He shook his head sadly. “She was lucky. We were able to hold off the Hanahaki for a while until she got the person to fall in love with her.” Astrid snapped her head towards him.
“You can hold it off?” she asked hopefully. “Why didn’t you say so? I -”
“It’s not permanent,” Hiccup said sternly. Fishlegs had retreated to the doorway nervously. Fishlegs may have been the authority in name, but it was Hiccup who dealt with the patients after the initial diagnosis. “It just puts off the inevitable, and it reacts to people differently. Sometimes it has horrendous side effects, and sometimes it speeds up the process of dying after being consumed. It was compatible enough with Atali that it bought her enough time to cure herself, but there is no guarantee, and the longer it takes the more you have to consume. It can only be cured by love, or you die.”
“No,” she said abruptly. “This is - this is ridiculous! Diseases like this don’t exist! You guys must be scammers and I’m - I’m out of here!”
“First stage, denial,” he commented flatly. She glared at him as he followed her out of the room back into the lobby.
“You’re wrong!” she insisted. “This is stupid. I - I - this isn’t real.”
“Come back when you cough up a bloody petal,” Hiccup suggested dryly. “That should be real enough.” She spun on her heel and marched out the door, slamming it behind her.
She was back in three days.
“You again,” Hiccup greeted her. “Still think we’re lying?” She stopped in front of the counter, eyes stony but the fear behind them wasn’t well concealed. She was clutching each of her elbows with the opposite hand. Her blonde hair was loose and a little wild, like she had run her fingers through it quite a few times since she had done it.
“How - how long does it take?” she asked quietly. “To - how long do I have?” Hiccup pushed himself upright and ambled over to the shelves behind him.
“Without this? Usually around a couple months. With this?” He shook the bottle gently. “Um. Longest the patient ever lasted was up to a year.” The blonde stared at the bottle in his hands bleakly.
“A year at most?” she asked faintly. She blinked a few times and gazed at the low ceiling.
“Yep,” he nodded as he grabbed a notepad and scribbled three pens on it before finding one that worked. “How many petals have you coughed up?” he checked.
“Two,” she replied. “One, um, one a few hours after I saw you guys the first time and the second one this morning.”
“Okay,” Hiccup said, calculating. “You don’t need much of this for now. I would say take a tablespoon - or five milliliters if you want to be exact - twice a week.”
“Only twice a week?” she repeated.
“We don’t know how you’re going to react to it,” he explained. “For some it speeds the process up while it negates the effects of, well, coughing until you either suffocate on petals or drown in your own blood.” She cringed.
“Um, okay. You aren’t pulling any punches here,” she commented.
“You seem like the type of person who likes everything up front,” he replied. “And I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. It’s not pretty. The mortality rate is high, and from what I’ve witnessed over the years the coughing can be a pain.”
“I was just going to ask when I should come back?” Astrid asked.
“If it gets worse, or, if it doesn’t, in two weeks,” he told her. “Although ideally you wouldn’t come back if you got him to love you back.” She looked stricken at the reminder of how to cure herself.
“There really is no other way?” she pleaded. Hiccup frowned at her.
“Unless you can get the surgery, no,” he answered frankly. “Why are you so against that method, though? Don’t you want them to love you back? You’re a beautiful woman, it wouldn’t be that hard.” Her pretty blue eyes stared at the ground blankly.
“Because . . . because he’s my best friend’s boyfriend.”
~
Three weeks later found her standing at the counter again.
“I - couldn’t,” she confessed ashamedly as she signed her name on the obligatory forms. “I just - Eret’s my best friend’s boyfriend, I can't just steal him like that. I could never do that to her, she’s my best friend, like a sister.”
“This is your life we’re talking about,” Hiccup said sternly as he wrapped the bottles up. “Surely she’d rather lose her boyfriend than have her best friend die. Especially if you guys are like sisters. You need to get him to fall in love with you or you don’t have a chance.”
“But she loves him,” Astrid said helplessly, taking the parcel and digging through her purse for payment.
“It’s your choice,” Hiccup sighed. “I’m just telling you how I see it.”
“I don’t want to die,” she said resolutely. Hiccup found his mouth twisting unpleasantly. She seemed pretty against doing the one thing to survive.
“You won’t see me again,” she promised as she swiped her card. “Probably.”
~
“Next,” Hiccup said boredly before he looked up at the next customer. A semi familiar head of blonde hair over bashful big blue eyes met his on the other side of the counter. “Oh,” he raised a sardonic eyebrow at her.
“Hi,” she waved shyly.
“Look, I tried, okay?” she argued as Hiccup returned with her X-rays. She had been silent as he had let her to the back and scanned her, unable to meet his disapproving frown. “I tried for a little bit, but seducing him behind my friend’s back is sleazy, and I just couldn’t live with myself.”
“Well why do you have to do it behind her back?” Hiccup asked. “Wouldn’t it be better if you got her on board? Less hurt feelings and guilt, more support?”
“Oh yeah,” she scoffed. “I’ll just go up to her and say, ‘Hey, Heather! So I’m in love with your boyfriend and actually dying because of that, can you get your soulmate to fall in love with me instead? Thanks!’” Hiccup glanced at his clipboard tiredly.
“You say it’s settled further in your chest now instead of your throat?” he checked. Astrid nodded, biting her lip. He looked at her seriously. “You should up your dosage to every other day,” he instructed. “If that doesn’t keep it at bay, come back in and we can get you on the stronger stuff.”
“Thank you,” she said gratefully.
“You’re welcome,” he replied.
“It’s only getting worse,” he said tightly. “Do you need help raising money or something? I know people - we could help.” Astrid shook her head.
“That surgery isn’t a guaranteed result, and the recovery process - I’d lose all my grants,” she grimaced.
“You could lose your life if you don’t do anything now,” Hiccup pressed.
“I’ll find a way out of it,” she insisted. She cleared her throat and reached for the package, covering her mouth with her other hand. Hiccup watched as she left, worry creasing his brow. One of these days, he’d see her walk away for the last time.
~
The next time she came in she had an attack right at the counter.
“Astrid!” he cried concernedly as she burst into a fit of coughing in the middle of her sentence. He hurried around the counter and patted her back, rubbing soothing circles until a lone petal surrounded by spittle and fluid fell out of her mouth onto a (thankfully) clear part of the table. He frowned.
“Hmm,” he picked the slick pink petal to examine it. “There’s blood now. Is this new?”
“Yeah,” she rasped. “Since last week.”
It was a pink anemone flower. It had slightly different meanings in different cultures, but he remembered the Ancient Greeks believed it had sprung from the blood of a slain lover, and in Japan the flower was also used for funeral arrangements. How fitting, a flower that came from blood and represented death. The pink was pale verging on white, making the bright specks of blood stand out like fresh rubies on white sheets.
“Why didn’t you come in then?” he demanded. “We can’t treat you if we don’t know how the illness is progressing.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, wiping her mouth with a tissue. “I just - if you guys didn’t tell me it was worse it wasn’t true.” Hiccup felt a pang at the pain in her voice, and reached out unthinkingly for her hand. She squeezed it automatically.
“You shouldn’t be coughing that hard then,” Hiccup frowned. “I’ll see if we can treat the cough separately. Let’s get you X-rayed again,” he said as he led her to the back.
“I’m not even going to say it,” he shook his head as he entered the room. Her face drew together angrily. “But, you know, I was starting to be relieved you weren’t coming back. I thought maybe you’d cured yourself.”
“I don’t want to break them up,” she insisted. “They love each other; they don’t deserve this.”
“And you do?” Hiccup asked keenly. She looked away.
“This way it’s only hurting one person,” she whispered. Hiccup felt panic bob in his throat painfully. How dare she feel this way? Could she not see there were people who cared for her and would feel her loss acutely. And he wasn’t talking about himself, no. He just could tell every time she came in and he got to know her better that she was special, and the world would be so much worse in her absence. His heart clenched at the thought. No, he wanted to say. It’ll hurt more than just you.
“Have you thought about getting it removed?” he asked desperately.
“From the research I’ve done, the surgery is very taxing on the person - I mean, they have to cut you open and try to scrape the disease out of your lungs - and once it reaches the heart you’re done for. I would never be able to breathe without help and could no longer overexert myself, and the surgery might take away all of my memories about Eret, sure, but so many of them are good - I was friends with him first, you know? And he and Heather are always together. I’m afraid that, I don’t know, but I don’t want to lose her, too. Plus it’s extraordinarily expensive,” she laughed humorously.
“The potion doesn’t put it off forever,” Hiccup warned. “The disease has finished transferring to the lungs and the petals will become more painful and frequent unless you do something about it. And you don’t know if it might get worse faster, depending on how Eret and Heather’s relationship evolves.”
“I know,” she said dully and reached for the parcel he’d brought, bigger than ever before.
So do something about it, he pleaded silently as he set her prescription. But he could see the dwindling light in her eyes. It was growing steadily. She had already given up on the endeavor before she really began..
~
She stormed into the office and slammed her purse on the desk. Hiccup looked up from his notebook, startled. Her eyes were brighter than before, but with the feverish gloss to them, not the healthy shine. “I need more,” she said simply. She shouldn't have been here so soon - she must have been consuming the potions more than she ought, but Hiccup wordlessly guided her to the back of the office to a waiting room. She took a bottle out of her bag and took a swig, throwing her head back like it was a shot of alcohol.
“Hey,” he caught her wrist as it came down. “Careful. You don’t need to drink that much. You should save it.”
“If you don’t let go of me I’m going to throw it,” she threatened in a low voice. He released her wrist quickly.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “If I could have the bottle please?” She handed it to him reluctantly. “How often do you get petals now?” he asked her. She slumped and rubbed her eyes.
“A lot,” she said. “Usually at least three a day, sometimes double that. They don’t come one at a time anymore, either. They usually come as two or three still attached petals.” Hiccup cringed. She caught his expression.
“It’s bad,” she stated. He hesitated.
“It is,” he relented. “But not impossible.” Not yet. She could live if she just tried, but it seemed she’d rather die before she did that.
“I’ve tried to distance myself,” she told him, her shiny eyes pleading. “I was hoping I could just . . . fall out of love.” Hiccup sighed.
“I don’t think that’s ever worked for Hanahaki,” he said sorrowfully. “The absence of requited love is what’s killing you.” She slammed her fist against the cot and he jumped.
“Dammit. Dammit!” she cried. “This is so unfair! I never asked for this! I didn’t want to be in love! I had - I had plans! I have a life! I can’t just die,” her voice broke. “Please don’t let me die.” The corners of her blue eyes glimmered as she begged him silently, tears threatening to fall despite her valiant efforts.
Hiccup swallowed. This was always the worst part. The part where he had to look these desperate, dying people in the eyes and tell them there was nothing he could do. He couldn't make people love each other - oh, but if only he could.
“I’ll do my best,” he said gravely. “But there isn’t much I can do.” Astrid’s face crumpled. “Have you thought about getting it removed?” he asked tentatively.
“Yes,” she said, her mouth twisting upwards into a grimace. “I wish I could, but it’s so expensive and I can’t afford it! Even if I had the money - my job, my lifestyle, I could never recover enough to go back to that! And the waiting list for the government to pay for the surgery and rehab is years long, which is stupid because this isn’t the kind of thing that waits.” Hiccup shook his head sadly.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Her face contorted and she screamed out loud in rage.
“How could this happen!” she cried. “I don’t want this! Why, why, why did this happen to me?” she sobbed. Hiccup stood there awkwardly, hating his life as he watched her helplessly. He got the feeling she didn’t cry often.
“What were your plans?” he asked when she’d quieted down a little later. Astrid wiped her eyes and squinted at him.
“What?” she asked, her voice still thick and hoarse.
“You said you had - plans. For your life. Before - What were they?” she scoffed.
“What, are you my therapist now?” she asked sardonically, her pretty lips twisting in a scowl. Hiccup shrugged. “I’m free for a couple hours, and it’s cathartic.”
“Fine,” she rolled her eyes. “I was, um. I was going to try to make it to the Olympics.”
“Oh!” he exclaimed. “Cool. What, ah, in what?”
“Gymnastics,” she replied. “A gold medal in vault, specifically.”
“Wow,” he commented. “That’d be really amazing. What do you do now?”
“I train, although that’s been getting harder with me coughing up flower petals as often as I do,” she smiled ruefully. “And when I’m not doing that I’m either working at the bookshop or studying.”
“You work at a bookshop?” Hiccup asked, surprised.
“Yeah, why?”
“Oh, I dunno. I just - figured you’d be a waitress or something like that.” She snorted. “Deal with those assholes all the time? I could never. Nah, a bookstore is quiet, and you don’t have to be nice to get paid”
“That’s fair,” Hiccup acknowledged.
“What about you?” Astrid asked.
“What?” he turned to her.
“What about you?” she waved a hand at him. “Tell me about yourself, you know, so this can be an actual conversation instead of awkward venting.” Her voice was nonchalant but her eyes sparkled with curiosity, a welcome change from the despair they had shown only a minute ago.
“Okay,” Hiccup said stupidly. “What do you want to know?”
“Why are you here?” she asked. “Isn’t it depressing, watching all these people dying because they’re too pathetic to get someone to love them?
“It’s not pathetic,” Hiccup responded. “It’s saddening. I mean, look at you,” he pointed at her. “You’re this beautiful woman, and yet you’re still here, dying from flower petals and unrequited love. It’s sad, yeah, but, I don’t know,” he cut himself off but she was looking at him intently, like she was interested in him as a person and he found himself continuing against his will.
“My dad - Hanahaki runs in the family,” he started over. Astrid cocked her head attentively. “And my dad, he caught Hanahaki. My Mom. She, uh, left us when I was a teenager and my Dad didn’t take it very well. He still loved her a lot, and then he caught Hanahaki and wasted away pretty quickly. I took care of him all those months, and it really left an impact on me, I guess. It’s become my kind of whole life’s work. He gestured around the room. “Here, I help people. I give them potions to keep them alive longer so they can make their other person fall in love with them. I - I track their cases and study them, finding the similarities and differences in hopes of finding a cure or at least a better counter effect. And yeah, most of them die but those who don’t? Those that succeed and get cured . . . they’re doing what my dad couldn’t, and I’m a part of that.” She stared at him for a few moments after he’d finished.
“Wow,” she said eventually. “That’s . . . powerful.”
“Yeah?” he asked hopefully. She nodded.
“I can’t imagine the bravery it must take to do this everyday,” she whispered, her eyes searching his face intently. He looked away, embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck bashfully.
“It’s nothing,” he laughed softly.
“No,” she insisted, reaching out to grab his hand. He stilled at the contact, his heart giving a flutter in his chest. “For us, it’s everything.” Hiccup’s throat tightened and he cleared it before he trusted himself to speak again.
“You have to try,” Hiccup told her, the lump in his throat that formed when he was around her forcing a bite in his voice. “What’s the point if you’re never going to try?”
“You don’t understand,” Astrid shook her head. “Heather is - she’s everything to me. She’s like my sister, sure, but she’s . . . she’s the one who’s been with me through thick and thin. I could never take away the one thing she values so much. She’s . . . relationships have never come easy. To either of us. And now she’s finally found her one - how could I possibly want to take that away from her.”
“Astrid,” Hiccup said in a low voice, crouching slightly to meet her downcast eyes. “If she’s been with you through thick and thin, don’t you think she’d support you now? Do you think she’d want to lose her best friend and isn’t even there to help through her chronic illness because you refused to tell her? This Eret guy, he sounds great, but is their love worth more than your life?”
“She would!” Astrid cried. “She would give him up for me, I know it. But she wouldn’t forgive me for it. And, even if she tried to make Eret fall in love with me - which she would - he genuinely loves her, he would never replicate my love with her around.”
“So you’d just never even try,” he scoffed, standing abruptly and pacing a few steps away from her.
“I -” she opened her mouth indignantly. “That’s not-”
“That’s exactly what this is!” Hiccup cried, spinning around to point at her angrily. A tight knot formed in his chest and rose to the bottom of his throat, uncomfortable as he tried to force his voice around it.
“Why are you angry?!” she cried.
“Because you’re supposed to be the one who’s successful!” he yelled at her. “You’re supposed to be the beautiful woman I was able to save!! You’re not supposed to give up when I’ve invested so much in you!”
“How dare you!” she cried. “I’m not just an investment you can show off!”
“No, no you’re not,” Hiccup spat. “You’re a person and I broke the rules of staying detached to cases because I started to care about you as a person, and now you’re forcing me to watch you die because you won’t even try to save yourself.”
“I-”
“And it’s not your fault for getting Hanahaki, but it is your fault for giving up here, and you’re not the one who has to suffer the consequences!”
“That’s - you’re wrong, okay! That’s not - you don’t understand or even know anything about me! We’re not friends! All you know about me is that I’m dying, but you have no idea who I am otherwise! And you have no right to make assumptions about something you know nothing about.”
“You may not have told me your whole sob story but I’m sure I could guess,” Hiccup sneered. “Let’s see; lonely successful girl. I’m guessing your parents were emotionally unavailable, and dropped you off at sports so you didn’t bother them. Never came to any of your games, and you tried to be the very best in a bid for their approval. You probably went through a rebellion phase in your late teenage years, but your friend Heather has been a steady rock for years now. So when you saw her enter a healthy and fulfilling relationship, you wanted one too. But instead of finding one for yourself, you latched onto the one right in front of you and fixated on Eret. And because of your emotional instability, you equated the ability to make Eret - a man happily taken and out of your reach - in love with you determine whether or not you were truly lovable, allowing the Hanahaki to take root because you’ve hinged your entire life and expectations on this unattainable goal. So now you’re dying, and you feel so guilty you’re willing to let that happen despite your desperate need to actually live life to its fullest.” His chest was heaving by the time he was finished, and Astrid mute in shock.
“You didn’t branch out with any of your relationships - romantic or platonic.” he continued. “And the awful thing is maybe you could have avoided this if you put yourself out there and made a few more meaningful relationships.” Astrid shook her head avidly and backed away. “I can’t -” she said, her voice so small it was hard to hear. “I-” she stumbled on the worn carpet and almost ran out the door, leaving Hiccup to sink in his seat and wonder what he had just done.
He slammed his hand on the desk, rustling the papers. His hand stung, and he filled himself a glass of water to soothe his throat, raw from yelling at her. An old vase caught his eye, the water in it long evaporated, leaving that disgusting brown sticky residue at the bottom, the long dead pink roses shriveled up forlornly. He and Fishlegs had tried to brighten up the space with flowers a while ago before stopping after realizing what a slap in the face it was. He threw the dried stalks out the window and washed the vase out. He hated pink flowers. He hated pretty girls who didn’t try to live. And most of all, he hated the fact he still cared when every person he cared about died from this stupid disease.
~
He was honestly surprised to see her again. He heard the click of her shoes on the stairs but didn’t dare look up to check who it was before she was standing in front of him.
“Hi,” she said quietly, and Hiccup snapped his head up to look at her.
“What?” he cried, scrambling upwards. “I, I - uh. I didn’t think you were coming back.”
“I still need the potions,” she said awkwardly, looking embarrassed. Hiccup deflated.
“Right. Yeah, sorry.” He turned to gather a few bottles - four, now, because she was starting to go through them unnervingly fast. “I also, um-”
“I want to apologize first,” Astrid interrupted.
“Wha-What?” Hiccup asked. “No, I’m the one-”
“I said some pretty awful things too,” Astrid insisted.
“Fine,” Hiccup rolled his eyes. “Go ahead.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I um. You were right. About me. I don’t know how because no one’s supposed to know about that. . . my inner feelings. I mean, I didn’t even know them. So also, thank you? For exposing me because I probably never would have confronted them on my own.”
“You’re - welcome? I am also sorry. I should never have yelled at you and presumed to know everything about you.”
“You said something about how this could have been avoided if I had more friends,” Astrid began. Hiccup opened his mouth to take those words back but she held up a hand. “And you’re kind of right,” she acknowledged. “Plus, I’m avoiding Heather and Eret so I’m lonely, and you’re the only one who really knows what’s going on with me and everything.”
“So you’re saying . . .” he trailed off.
“I’d like for us to be friends,” she clarified. “Like, outside of this clinic.”
“Really?” he asked. Hiccup’s heart skipped a beat.
“Yes,” she said, nonplussed. “I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I wasn’t serious.”
“I - yeah, I know that. Kinda. But I mean, you want to be friends? With me? After everything?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “And not despite everything, but rather because of it. I mean, like you said, you’re already too emotionally invested and I could use an actual friend who knows what’s going on. Plus, you’re a pretty cool guy. I’m sure we’d have fun together.” Seeing his hesitation she added, “Please? Do it as my dying wish?” That brought a scowl to his face.
“Fine. I accept,” he pointed a finger at her. “Not because you’re dying, though, but rather in spite of it.”
“Great!” she smiled. “Would you be free to meet up sometime this weekend?” Hiccup sighed and nodded. Whatever he was getting himself into, he knew it wouldn’t be healthy for him. And yet, seeing the simple wish in her eyes for a friend, how could he possibly deny her? Besides, he’d always wanted a friend too.
~
Being Astrid’s friend was dangerous, because he got exposed to her magnetic force that had drawn him in when he only saw her with weeks in between, but she had latched onto him, seeking his company like her life depended on it, which was ironic. And he would get caught up in her lively laughter, her smiles, her dry perspective on life with that hint of whimsy underneath. She made him feel more alive than he had in years, but then he’d be privy to all her dosages of that damned potion. He’d watch as a thought of Eret crossed her mind and she’d double over, hacking so hard he’d have to wait before administering the potion so she could have a chance of digesting it, and each time he’d worry this would be the last cough and she’d die before he could pour that time-stealing liquid down her throat.
The disease had grown stronger. It thrived and originated off of unrequited love, yes, but that didn’t stop it from permeating every aspect of Astrid’s life - and now, his. He’d lost count of how many nights he’d stayed over at her place, holding back her hair as she drained her life out into the toilet, rubbing soothing circles along her back and whispering you’re gonna be okay. This isn’t it. Here, take this. Breathe. No - no, it’s alright. It’s okay. I’m still here. Yeah, I’ve got it right here. You’ll be okay, Astrid.
He told her he was the one who created the potion and why he wasn’t the official doctor instead of Fishlegs.
“But that’s amazing!” she exclaimed. “I mean, you made a successful remedy all on your own? And you were so young then, too. Surely that deserves a Nobel Prize or something.” He sighed.
“It doesn’t work like that,” he admitted. “I didn’t follow protocol . . . I did some pretty illegal things, and I went through a pretty shady testing process. And I don’t think they’d want to acknowledge someone like me was the one to come up with it and reveal how I was smart enough to go behind their backs, revealing them to be incompetent, or how Hanahaki wasn’t exactly as uncommon as they thought.” He usually had at least one customer every day, some of them from all over the world pleading for the tonic. He never had the heart to charge them, not when they had given up everything for this small chance.
He brought out his journals to show her one day when she felt too sick to get out of bed. “I didn’t document all of the cases, but, you know, most of them are there,” he shrugged as he dumped them on her plush duvet.
“How many years ago do they date back?” she asked.
“Since I was seventeen,” he replied. “Just over ten years now.” She flipped through the pages, complimenting his drawings of all the different flowers and crying sometimes at the struggles of the people recorded on the faded, cheap pages. So many had died, unable to stand a chance against the relentless flowers. There were few successful cases. She lingered particularly long on Dr. Atali’s.
“You know,” Hiccup said quietly after he cleaned her vomit up for the tenth time that day. “I have this theory that maybe Hanahaki could be cured by something other than the person you’re in love with.”
“Really?” Astrid asked weakly. “Do share.”
“I dunno,” he stared at her stained sheets. He hadn’t known how to clean them the first time she had gotten blood on them, but had since gotten better with lots and lots of practice. “From what I’ve observed, Hanahaki develops to literally fill a hole in your heart. I’d always hoped- I wondered if the cure is always that person’s requited love, or if it could ever be someone else’s.”
“What do you mean?” Astrid asked.
“Don’t get all excited,” Hiccup warned her. “But what if - what if the diseased could fall in love with someone else - someone who returned their love, and it cured them? I never had the courage to suggest it to a patient, but . . .” he swallowed. “You’re more than that now.” Astrid sat up slowly.
“You’re saying if I could fall in love with someone else I could cure myself?” she asked hopefully.
“No,” he corrected her. “I thought there might be a small possibility.”
“But if I could just like-”
“You have to love them,” he emphasized. “Probably more than you love Eret. And they’d have to love you back entirely. Not just some jerk who’s attracted to your looks and thinks your personality is just a nice bonus; it has to be unconditional. They’d have to love you just as much as you love them, with all their heart.” An unbidden seed sprouted and rose in his throat, but he forced the thought down. Like I do, he wanted to say, but no. No, he was already on dangerous ground. Yes, Astrid was already unlike everyone he’d ever met, but she was still just a friend. It wasn’t more than that. Hiccup knew he had a naturally caring nature and that was why he was so concerned about her, why on the nights he slept in his own rickety slat he woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming he’d wake up in the morning with Astrid gone, choking on her own bile or something equally horrific because he wasn’t there to help her to the bathroom. He cleared his throat, but it came out like a raspy cough.
“But if I found that?” she asked, her voice low, like the subject was sacred.
“There would still be no guarantee,” he said, wanting to swallow again to wet his dry throat.
“What do we have to lose though?” she persisted.
You, he thought.
~
She started to improve, little by little, but Hiccup did not get his hopes up. He had watched enough people to know the respite usually came before the last wave would hit the hardest. Winter came, and along with it a snuffling nose and cold mittens wrapped around his cracked mug. It was also the season for cough drops, and Hiccup consumed many to soothe his itchy, sore throat from the harsh wind, using honey instead of sugar for the time being to sweeten his coffee in the mornings.
“Hey!” a bright voice greeted him and he couldn’t help but smile even as his heart twisted in his chest. His theory had given her hope and it pained him to think of what would happen when it was proven wrong. There was also an ugly pain in the back of his mind at thinking of watching her try to fall in love with someone else. Whoever they were, they would never deserve her, and how could the undeserving twit possibly be the one to cure her of her affliction? It wasn’t fair, not with all those late nights and lunch breaks and early mornings he had put into taking care of her. For what would happen once she was free from the need of his stupid potions? None of his successful cases had ever stuck around, too caught up in their honeymoons of feelings and relief to care about him. He had used to wish he wouldn’t see her again when she’d first started to come in so he could believe she’d been successful in her cure, but now he couldn’t bear it. They were friends now, but that was because he was the only other person she had that wouldn’t cause her to die quicker.
“Wow,” she commented gently, bringing him out of his reverie. “You look like you’re thinking a lot.”
“No more than usual,” he replied blithely. “You look especially light hearted today, practically radiant.” He froze as his words registered. He hadn’t meant to compliment her. But then, maybe he could let it slide this time as Astrid’s cheeks warmed with a delicious pink not from the cold. She studied the dusty floor for a little bit, recovering her composure before she spoke again.
“I’ve been thinking,” she began.
“Thor help me,” he muttered. She smacked his arm lightly and he laughed. “Seriously,” she complained. “I’ve been thinking about your theory.” Hiccup’s smile dwindled.
“Astrid, it’s just a theory. There’s no research behind it. You can’t put too much hope in it; it’s never been tried before.”
“Well, then I can try it and you can add it to your research even if it’s a dead end -” she cut herself off with a laugh at the pun while Hiccup tried not to choke at the idea. “And refer to it with your other patients.”
“Astrid-” he began.
“You’re not going to stop me,” Astrid interrupted. “I think your idea has merit and I’m going to try it if it’s the last thing I do. Remember what you said four months ago before we were friends?”
“I said a lot of things,” he groaned, already knowing that Astrid had won the argument. A fond, tickling sensation made itself known in his esophagus and he tried to ignore it.
“You said you think I latched on to Eret because I just wanted a relationship for myself! So my Hanahaki isn’t even as emotionally tied to the subject of my affections the same way others might have been. I have a chance, Hiccup,” she pleaded. “And it’s given me hope. Besides, I’ve already chosen my guy.”
This time Hiccup did choke. “What?” he spluttered.
“I have a guy that I’m . . . developing feelings for,” she said breezily, like her words weren’t crawling into his chest like thorny roots and piercing his lungs. “And I think he would meet all the requirements if I got him to care for me, which I’m confident I can do.”
“Oh,” Hiccup said stupidly. His heart sank at the thought of her smiling at some unknown face with that sparkle in her eyes. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it had, because, well, wasn’t she supposed to be in love with someone else already? He imagined her laughing over coffee with this unknown guy, bright blue eyes and pink cheeks with those adorable bangs falling into her eyes and making her toss her head endearingly. He was probably handsome and muscular and cleaned his room and didn’t run a slightly illegal rundown, decrepit pharmacy that had needed a new coat of paint for the last four years. He fought against a petulant frown.
Astrid rolled her eyes at him and he felt indignant. What else was he supposed to say? “Um, well let’s talk about this some more at lunch,” he suggested, feeling like an idiot.
“Perfect,” she flashed bright white teeth at him and bounced out of the room. He followed her with his eyes and then his ears until he heard the door close downstairs before he doubled over in a coughing fit. He coughed and coughed and coughed but that soft bit of mucus just wasn’t coming out so he staggered over to the sink to continue hacking. He felt something slimy on the back of his tongue and frantically tried to spit it out. It was a large glob that . . . didn’t feel like a glob. As he wagged his tongue, a feeling of dread settled in his stomach. He spit, and it landed in the sink, clear in its condemnation.
A blue oleander petal lay starkly against the stained steel of the sink. He stared at it unblinkingly, his mind running through all the coughs from his cold in the past weeks, the itches from the weeks before. The tickling sensations all those months ago. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He was supposed to be the one who caught himself before this happened!!
A blue oleander. Sometimes he had tried to find amusement in the bleak stream of dying patients and had rated the different flowers that came out of their mouth. Cherry blossoms were the most common, followed by roses, and boy, were those horrific. Cherry blossoms were small enough, and while they killed just as easily, there was something particularly gruesome about roses. They were huge, and of the three people he’d watched hack roses out of their throats, the flowers had been whole. With stems. And thorns. He remembered the first time he had seen someone reach into their mouth and tug the rose out, sobbing in pain as the thorns caught and shredded their throat. They hadn’t known whether to spit the blood out or try to swallow it. Hiccup had thrown up that night when he’d gone home.
But blue oleander. That was a new plant. Fitting, given that he had named his business after it. It was a simple plant with small, brightly colored flowers. He knew his oleanders well. The red ones were good for decorations while the purple ones had healing properties. But the blue ones, well. They were poisonous. To humans and other creatures. If the myths about dragons were true, the beasts couldn’t sniff one without being affected. Humans, on the other hand, would have to ingest a good amount of concentrate for the flowers to have any serious negative effect, but the fact he had poisonous flowers growing somewhere in his lungs? Well that didn’t fill him with dread at all.
He’d also never seen this flower up close. Due to their poisonous nature, blue oleanders were banned in multiple countries. The pictures had never done its color justice. The petals were a stark electric blue - rather like Astrid’s eyes, he realized.
“Is it contagious?” a patient had asked once. She had been a frail girl of twelve. She hadn’t lasted long. Hiccup remembered crouching down in front of her to meet her worried eyes and flashing her a crooked smile.
“No,” he had assured her kindly. “No, it’s not contagious.”
But at that moment, it felt like it was. He felt like he had kissed a hundred people with tuberculosis in one room and believed he was perfectly safe. He had exposed himself to her, and now he had caught the deadly disease. How ironic, that he had caught it now, after falling in love with a person who had it for someone else.
Oh, this was just his luck! He knew that he was particularly susceptible to Hanahaki, but as the lonely years had gone by he hadn’t ever thought he’d actually catch it! Not when he never got out enough to form attachments to anybody. Of course, the universe hated him, so the person he’d fall for so hard it’d cause him to die would be a girl who was already dying because she was in love with someone else.
And now she was trying to fall in love with someone else. People had never been successful in falling out of love to escape their Hanahaki, but he sincerely hoped that their method would just be more like a transfer, filling the requirement of reciprocation. But what guy could she mean? Who could she have possibly been seeing? It wasn’t jealousy that made him wonder, simply protectiveness. She was sick and ready to latch onto anyone who would help her - who was he to know if this other guy didn’t have alternate ambitions?
And, selfishly, he didn’t want to be the one to break his heart and give his life to cure her so she could bestow her love on another man. That was awful of him, he knew, but he was dying, couldn’t he think mean things?
But she’d never return his feelings. How could she? She was so far out of his league there was no way she could ever feel the same. She was a successful young woman, ambitious and hardworking. How could he and his run down business, peeling paint, and awkward self ever hope to match her?
His affliction progressed at an exponential rate. The thing about Hanahaki being tied to love was that the more he loved her, the more it hurt (the more he died). So he brought his own bottles of remedies and swigged a great gulp before he knocked on her door and she opened it with a smile. When she’d start coughing he’d jump out of his chair to get her a bottle, and take a sip as he was returning it to the medicine cabinet. She didn’t have much time left, as she was coughing all the time now, not just when she thought about Eret or maybe the other guy.
And it was painful, trying to support her while she talked about her new guy with shining eyes, catching her when she coughed so loudly she couldn’t stand.
“You know, even if this doesn’t work, at least you’ll have tried, right?” she’d said after she caught the worried look in his eyes. “I’ll go in your journal - you’ll make my portrait pretty, right?”
No, he thought. Because I probably won’t last long enough after you.
~
“Hey,” are you okay?” Astrid started asking as he was excusing himself from the room nearly every minute.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he assured her.
“Are you sure?” she checked. Her hair was falling distractingly over her shoulder, her pink lips pressed together in concern. He felt a flower start to build in his throat again. While Astrid’s Hanahaki had been petals upon petals - the type of illness where the infected usually died of suffocation instead of drowning - Hiccup had whole flowers coming out of his mouth. The stamens and filaments along with the petals. The full on stems and leaves had not yet arrived, so he had some time, but gods, it felt like he was already dead
“Mhm,” he smiled tightly at her. “Of course. I just - I just need the bathroom.” He backed away, trying to breath slowly as his throat clogged up with flower heads.
“Again?”
“Yes,” he bit out as gently as he could. “When you gotta go you gotta go!” He fled to the other room, refusing to be embarrassed by what he’d just said. Yes, he was dying, but did he really have to insinuate he had terrible bladder control in front of the gorgeous girl he liked? Part of him contemplated throwing up the flowers down the toilet but if one petal didn’t get flushed his secret would be out. He snuck to the pantry instead, grabbing paper towels that he carefully spit into, his stomach curling in disgust. He folded the towels and stuffed them into his back pocket, to be later hidden in his bag. He let out another cough and reached for a bottle, uncorking his and closing his eyes in relief as he took a sip.
“-Hiccup?” His eyes flew open in surprise and he inhaled the drink. “Oh no!” she reached for him and he shied away reflexively, ignoring the way her beautiful face fell.
“I’m fine!” he gasped as he coughed to clear his throat. “Really, just - went down the wrong pipe.”
“What are you doing?” she demanded, crossing her arms.
“I - I was just thirsty?” he tried.
“Why are you drinking that?” she asked sharply, jutting her chin towards the bottle still in his hand. His eyes widened in panic and he pretended they were widening in realization.
“What the - Whaaaat? Oh my God, this wasn’t what I meant to pick up! Ha ha . . . that explains why it tasted so funny.” Astrid grabbed the bottle from his hand.
“Stop lying to me,” she ordered, her voice growing thick with intimidation. “Why are you drinking your potion?”
“I wanted to see how it tasted?” he tried.
“The truth, Hiccup!” she yelled. She let out a cough, a couple light pink petals falling from her mouth, and Hiccup had the stupidest urge to cough with her.
“I-” his voice was strained from holding the cough in.
“Please, tell me what’s happening,” she said desperately. “Why are you always running away? Lying to me? Am I doing something - am I making you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry about all of this. I - trust me, I don’t want to do this either. I thought you wouldn’t mind - I mean. But this - you - don’t tell me -”
“Of course not,” Hiccup interrupted. The only thing he had left was the dignity of not being hopelessly in love with her. His hand went automatically to his back pocket. Her eyes followed his hand and he gave in to the unbearable suffocating itch in his throat. As he bent over she lunged for his pocket, dragging the bunched up paper towel. He cried out, trying to grab it back but she was quick, dancing out of his reach as he had to hack again, stiff leaves and petals scraping the raw insides of his throat. She undid the wad of paper towel just as he spit out his own plant. She dropped the package in horror, bright blue flowers falling onto the wooden floor next to Hiccup’s whole flower. It was a wet, drowned reminder of a romantic gesture. A part of him almost wanted to pick it off the floor and present it to Astrid, the way a suitor might pick a pretty, blooming flower for his lady.
“No,” she whispered brokenly. Her knees gave out from under her and she collapsed onto the floor. “No no no no nononono.”
“Astrid,” he reached a hand out to her shoulder but hesitated. She would probably push his touch away. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “I really - I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“How long?” she asked, her voice barely audible.
“Not long,” he sighed. “It’s just - powerful. Very powerful.” She let out a harsh, disbelieving laugh.
“Who is it?” she asked dangerously.
“Astrid-”
“Who is the bitch that got your love and never returned it!” she cried loudly. “Who? Who is the other person who is doubtless better than me? WHO is killing you?!!! Why -” her face crumpled and she tried to stifle a sob. “Why is it never me?”
“Astrid-”
“No!” she wailed. “You don’t understand! I was - you were my hope! It was supposed to work!! And all this time - all this time you were keeping this from me!”
“No, wait-”
“Who is it?” she demanded, grabbing the front of his shirt and his eyes fought to not flutter shut and imagine her kissing him. “I’ll storm over to them and demand they love you back-”
“That’s not necessary,” he assured her.
“You can’t die!” she exploded. “You’re not allowed! I’m not going to let you! Please! Live. If one of us has to go it should be me-”
“Hey,” Hiccup cupped her face, silencing her. “I - I know you don’t want me to die. And I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d feel bad and I want - I want you to be happy. I want you to make it out of this alive. Ever since - Even when I first met you I never wanted you to come back if it meant you were still alive. And every time you did, I wanted to cure you more and more. You have always been the one who deserves to live. And I - I had a crush on you, okay? I liked you so I was trying to help but then we became actual friends and - oh, this is so messed up,” he groaned.
She sank to the floor. “So the person you’re . . .” she trailed off.
“It’s you, Astrid,” he admitted, his eyes shut tightly. “I’m sorry.”
“Wh-”
“I know you already like someone else and you’re trying to get them to fall in love with you. I would never want to intrude on that.”
“Hiccu-”
“And I really didn’t want to offend you, because, I mean, who would want me? I’m just - it’s pathetic and I knew there was no hope so I didn’t want to worry you and-”
“HICCUP!” she shouted and he cringed. She grabbed him by the shirt again violently. “I’m going to need you to stop for one second because I just find it so incredibly rude that you think I wouldn’t be head over heels in love with you. You’re amazing! You’ve dedicated your life to helping people - strangers! And you’re smart and you’re funny and kind and handsome-” she broke off her rant with a wet laugh.
“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked, blinking back tears. “Why do you think I kept coughing more when you were around? Why - why do you think I told you about my plan to make a guy I’d been spending a lot of time with and had gotten feelings for to like me? Why do you think keeping the fact you were dying hurt me so much?”
Hiccup blinked.
“I love you, you stupid, dense brick of a man! I love you, Hiccup. I - I - I-” She smashed her lips onto his ferociously and his shoulders sagged in relief. Somehow - and he was most likely wrong - she had confessed her love for him and now they were kissing. This was beyond his wildest dreams - okay, maybe not his wildest - but, well, even if this was just a dream, why not take advantage of it? He brought a hand to cup the back of her head, tangling it in her golden hair and angling her face as she shifted herself into his lap on the floor.
“You love me?” he asked as they broke apart for air.
“You’re an idiot,” she snarled half heartedly, punching him in his left shoulder. But before he had time to wince she pulled him in for another kiss. Something loosened in his throat and suddenly all those petals that had been there, threatening to burst again seemed to disappear.
They were in a dark pantry, bloody flowers and wet paper towels littering the floor around them, and Hiccup was sure it was the most romantic scene he’d ever beheld.
~
“It worked,” Hiccup said, shaking his head in amazement as his pencil hovered above the journal’s page. “We actually transferred the Hanahaki subject to someone else. You were sick for me, not Eret.” How was it possible to feel smug about her having a deathly illness regarding him? He wouldn’t think it possible, but here he was.
“You were also sick,” Astrid reminded him. “It happened around the same time I decided to try to transfer it onto you.”
“What?” Hiccup exclaimed. “No way.”
“Yeah-huh,” Astrid nodded. “Coincidence? I think not.”
“You’re saying that in transferring the subject of your Hanahaki, so to speak, the disease infected the new subject too?”
“We are dealing with the unprecedented,” Astrid shrugged. “It’s entirely possible.”
“But I already had a crush on you,” Hiccup argued. “I just couldn’t admit it until I was spitting bloody flowers out.”
“Well, maybe it only affected you because you already had feelings for me,” she conceded. Her eyes sparkled. “But what we do know for sure is that we’ve successfully cured Hanahaki disease for someone else.” Hiccup’s head snapped up to meet hers.
“Do you know what this means?” he exclaimed, standing up from his chair to pace around the room.
“I think so,” she smiled softly.
“I mean,” he amended. “We were pretty lucky, it might not work again if the other person isn’t already in love, but -” he laughed disbelievingly.
“We have a cure for Hanahaki,” he repeated. “We can . . . people don’t have to die anymore.”
“As long as we pair them up well,” Astrid added. “Maybe we should add ‘matchmaking’ to our services.” Hiccup rolled his eyes at her teasingly.
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see next time.” Astrid grinned.
Hiccup slinked into the workshop, behavior flighty and shifty, clutching the straps of his backpack.
"Hello lad." Gobber greeted with a knowing face, "what plan of yers are yer roping me into this time?"
"Um. Can we talk in the back?" Hiccup asked and shrank even more under Gobber's disapproving gaze.
He sighs. "Sure."
"Great." Hiccup took him by the arm and rushed to the back. Or he tried to, at least.
"Okay. So. There's this girl who I-"
"Oh. That's not really -" Gobber tried to cut him off with a wave of his prosthetic arm.
"Did you even listen?! I kinda...well..." Hiccup, who usually can think of some half-assed way out of a conversation, falters. "I think I made her mad by doing something I shouldn't have and wanted to hear your suggestions on how to apologize." he suddenly rambles.
"I was about to say, lad, I'm the worst person to ask about women. Apologies? That's more of my field of expertise. But debatable. How'd you piss her off?"
"I...I'm not sure, but she started avoiding me all of a sudden. So I've been trying to figure out what I did and...well... I guess she felt me giving her a gift was uncalled for."
"What'd you give?" Gobber asked patiently.
"I made her a pair of gloves because I see her always trying to warm her hands by blowing on them in winter. She keeps forgetting to replace her old gloves, so I thought, why not make her some new ones? And then..."
"She started avoiding you. Are you sure she's deliberately avoiding you or are you missing information?
"Huh? Why else would she...well, actually, you're right, she did mention about increased school workload." Hiccup scratched his head. "But that wouldn't warrant her writing to everyone else, but not me. And after a bit, I decided to give her some space..." he flailed around helplessly.
"Now it sounds like you're avoiding HER, not vice-versa."
"I guess." Gobber was right, Hiccup thought. Now that he put it that way-
"Why don't you just, talk to her? Tell her why you gave her the gloves? Ask if she was uncomfortable and is she is, apologize? She sounds like a good enough friend to understand where the gift came from. And if not? Drop her."
Hiccup nodded. "Thank you."
Gobber let out a surprised noise when Hiccup hugged him on a whim.
"As I said, you can always talk to me, lad." He said as he patted the teen’s head.
***
The night had been...eventful, to say the least, from having to chase off several smaller flocks and shepherd them back to their nest, to convincing a dragon to please NOT try and claim territory on their side of the barrier - first diplomatically, and then, of course, it escalated into a fight. Hiccup gave his arms a good stretch as they ached.
"You should take a diplomacy class or something." Nadder had groaned. "Any more nighttime injuries and I won't heal in time for class."
"Sorry." he'd said, scratching his head. He’d been quite bashful.
Stormfly had only shaken her head, and quietly plucked a few loose spines from her hair.
The others had already booked it for the night - “exam” they’d sighed in unison, and Hiccup had given them a sympathetic smile.
So it was just the two of them now.
“Can we talk?” He asked.
She fiddled with the fingers of her gloves - the ones he’d made, he noticed to his surprise - before responding: “Sure.”
“Mind if we go somewhere we can sit?”
“Gothi’s?” She suggested.
“I’m not in the mood to be judged by Terrible Terrors right now.”
She snorted at that, spines flaring slightly at the motion.
“Would a rooftop do?” She brushed back a loose strand of hair.
“I guess.” He responded and followed her as she plopped down on a spot she deemed sufficiently comfortable.
“So. What’s the issue?” She asked.
“Well…” he paused, trying to remember of what he’d planned to say, but the words escaped him.
“I wanted to apologise.” He blurted out.
“For what?” She tilted her head.
“Well…I hope I didn’t offend you when I gave you the gloves. You seemed to be, well, mad at me.”
His fingers played with the charm attached to his jacket. “Um, I’m sorry if I came across as inappropriate, and if you want space -“
“Gods! No, you idiot. I - “ she interrupted him. Then, she interrupted herself before continuing.
“I really, really like them.“ she fixed her hands still inside said gloves. “I felt bad for not having something to give to you.” She gave him a look. “And - oh. My sneaking around trying to figure out what you wanted probably resulted in it looking like I was avoiding you. “ she facepalmed. “Sorry, Tooth.”
“It’s fine, really.” He insisted. “I guess I jumped to conclusions.”
“You tend to do that.” She agreed, before sliding closer to where he sat.
“You don’t have to give me anything in return. Really. I just thought you should keep your hands warm since you’re doing your hero exams, and you mentioned the cold giving you issues with your powers, so-“ he trailed off.
“That’s nice of you.” She said all of a sudden.
“Oh? Thank you.” He didn’t know how to respond to that. “I suppose it’s just another way to look out for you, I guess. Flock stuff.”
“Hm.” She smiled. “Well, I still think I should get you something.”
“Spending time together is enough for me. Really.” He stressed, before hoisting himself onto a seat next to her.
“Good old times, huh.”
“Well, we’d probably not be here without the others.” He admitted.
She gave him a friendly swat to the forehead.
“And thank you again for the gloves.” She said before surprisingly pulling him into a hug.
“As I said, you’re welcome. Let me know if they have any issues. Or if there’s anything else you need help with.
“Really, Stormy. You’re important to me.”
“You’re important to me too, okay? Remember that before you go into your next suicidal plan here, alright?”
A warmth blossomed in his chest.
She leaned against him after they broke the hug, and they sat there for a while, staring up at the crystal dome far in the distance.
“I will.” He chuckled, and they fell silent.
They stared up at the tip of the dome where the barrier barely covered, shimmering like waves, fending off dimensional instability and keeping the sky city safe. The tower of the Ice Palace grazed it, perhaps being a mere two meters below, before the palace itself disappeared into its artificial cloud. (Honestly, how loaded was Pruina to be able to afford the maintenance and airspace fees…)
“If you want, I can take you up there one day. Best view of all of Berk.” He told her, yanking her from her thoughts.
“I can imagine.” She said. “Just us?”
“I think I can’t sneak five people up there." he made a face. "Two is more doable.”
“Alright.” She mused.
“I’m really glad we have…us.” It sounded stupid, but he was.
“Me too.” Her hand wandered over to his, and they intertwined.
He was glad she understood, and rested his chin on her head. After his growth spurt, he was able to slightly tower above her, just enough that he could rest his head atop the crown of hers when she leaned against him like now.
“And I love you.” He’d told her head. Quietly, hushed, but he’d said it. He doubted she’d heard it.
She gave a hum, before suddenly moving and seeing her watch. “I’m late.”
“Oh. Don’t let me keep you.”
“It’s not problem. Well, goodnight.” She gave his hand a quick squeeze, before growing bold enough to plant a quick kiss on his cheek.
He blushed. “Goodnight.”
She vanished into the evening; and he too vacated the rooftop with a sigh, remembering that he had an essay to finish.
