[huckleberrysgf]

·˚ ◌༘₊· ͟͞꒰➳ jessie,

twenty chilean queer they / them

multifandom sfw / nsfw mdni !!

characters list requests rules

requests are always open

tiktok account: huckleberryyyyy

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gerran howell enthusiast ࿐ྂ

↳ queers immigrants free palestine fuck ice pro choice pro human rights fuck ai ༉‧₊˚✧

[huckleberrysgf]

dennis whitaker (random) headcanons (no one asked for)

cw: dennis whitaker, angst, religious topics, some internalized homophobia, happy dennis too btw bc he deserves it.

- he didn't have a lot of friends as a kid, his first friend was a rock named dennis #2 (mind you he was 5 years old).

- he went to church every sunday and even to its camps.

- they talked about how homosexuality was a sin, and he stopped going to those camps when he turned 15, claiming that the food made him feel sick.

- his first kiss was when he was 7 and it was with a classmate, it was just so innocent and out of curiosity. he didn't get why his teacher was so pissed off :(

- he liked to feed the chickens in the mornings.

- and he had a pet chicken named gloria (they ate it without telling dennis).

- he cried when he found out and never ate chicken again.

- he tried to go vegan once (didn't work).

- when he got to go to med school he realized all the things about the human anatomy he was taught in high school or church were far from reality.

- still a virgin until he met his partner.

- my man was a little ashamed bc of his freckles and moles on his skin,,, but he grew kinda fond on them bc of his partner always kissing and tracing them with their fingertips.

- vanilla in the sex topic bc wdym people like to be tied up? good lord he would be all panicked in that situation.

- (jokes on you he can be kinky if he wants lmaooo)

- he is so awkward around his in-laws.

- he puts water inside of the shampoo or conditioner bottle to not waste anything.

- he pierced his ear at a friend's house when he was fourteen and his dad chased him around the farm to get that piercing off him (he got the belt).

- has nightmares sometimes about the time he was a homeless med student.

- his meep is a tic basically.

- his lips are dry and he licks them all the time.

- he is also really awkward when it comes to intimacy.

- socially speaking he is bisexual, but honestly he is not the biggest fan of labeling himself.

- he was in denial almost his whole life, and hated whenever he fantasized himself kissing a male classmate in high school.

- he can run non-stop for an hour, but can't walk upstairs without running out of air.

- his new haircut in season 2 was an accident bc trinity cut a little too much (he almost had a panic attack bc of how awful it looked at first).

- his closet is full with plain and simple t-shirts but has only two jeans.

- he claims he sucks at cooking but can prepare an insanely good steak with mashed potatos.

- (but don't ask him to cook pasta) (he hates pasta).

- when he cleans, hee leaves the floor almost like a mirror (this disturbs trinity a little).

- he missed church on sundays, so he found a church near the apartment and goes whenever he can.

- he was so nervous when he had his first relationship bc he didn't know how to be a good boyfriend.

- "there should be a manual for this".

- trinity gave him a stuffed chicken just like the one he had when he was a kid.

- (he cried bc it was the first gift someone has ever given to him in years).

- he has the strange habit of eating and leaving some food on his cheeks (lil bro really thought he was a squirrel).

- and when he eats he does it really fast bc he thinks someone might come and steal his food.

- he was once bitten by a possum.

- he has a terrible tolerance for alcohol, and turns into a tomato when he drinks a lot.

- the scar on his nose was because gloria pecked him when he tried to get her eggs out of the henhouse.

- he ate his boogers until he turned 7.

- he adores little details such as letters, a random flower, a good night text, a cup of coffee in the morning (he won’t admit that EVER).

- not an expert in the kissing department.

- his brothers used to call him mean names when they were kids, and he always ended up crying on his mom's lap when they told him he couldn't play with them.

- "why don't my brothers love me? :c".

- forced himself to be straight during his teenagehood, but that was killing him.

- he gave up. he came out to his parents. he was kicked out of the house.

- "always knew you were one of those".

- even though he was kicked out, his mother helped him as best she could to go study out of state.

- they're still in touch.

- the only person who knows that part of his life is trin, after a drunk confession that ended up with both of them crying on the living room's floor.

[huckleberrysgf]

kiss me and hug me older men

cw: michael "robby" robinavitch x dennis whitaker x jack abbot, established polyamorous relationship, inappropriate employment relationship, HR violation basically (nobody cares lol), gentle morning, usage of petnames [bud, sweetheart], their personalities don't match the tv show bc sometimes the canon sucks!! dennis wants a kiss and he has two men that are willing to give it to him.

a.n: i kinda forgot i was supposed to write this my bad (also i still don't know how to handle uni and my personal life so XD)

part 1 already out !!

Dennis rolled over on the bed, his hand searching for Robby, but he found nothing. He lifted his head off the pillow, hair sticking to every direction possible and eyes barely open.

"Ugh" he groaned softly, rubbing his hands on his face and sat up, looking at the time on the digital clock that Jack insisted on continuing to use.

05:30 AM.

He got out of bed and walked barefoot to the kitchen, from where he could hear the sound of the juicer and a pan moving. When he walked into the kitchen he saw Robby already in his scrubs, his hospital sweatshirt lay to one side on a stool by the kitchen counter, which Dennis grabbed and put over his head.

"Morning" Dennis said softly, shoving his hands into the pocket, walking towards Michael.

"Hey, bud" the older replied, turning his head towards Dennis briefly, giving him a smile under that beard Dennis loved with his whole life. "Did I wake you up?"

"Not really" he said softly, walking and kissing his bearded cheek. "What's in the juicer?"

"Pancake mix"

"Why? We have a whisk to do the mix"

"Do you think I'm going to be whisking pancake batter super early in the morning? Hell no" Robby shook his head, amused. "That's a lot of effort"

Dennis rolled his eyes amused and nodded, leaning against the counter and crossinf his arm on his chest.

"You leaving food for Jack?"

"I'm lazy, not a monster, Dennis" he huffed. "Of course I am"

"Fine, fine. I'll take a shower while you do all this"

Dennis's shower lasted a good fifteen minutes, after which, getting dressed and fixing his wet hair, he returned to the kitchen, bumping into his two boyfriends —what a good thing to say— talking in the kitchen.

"You arrived earlier" Dennis said raising both eyebrows slightly surprised, walking towards Jack and stood by his side, casually leaning against him.

"Decided to abandon my patients" Jack replied in the most nonchalant way he could, stealing a pancake from the plate Robby had next to him.

"Very professional, Dr. Abbot" the youngest murmured, feeling Jack's hand pressed gently on his lower back, a soft kiss being placed on his temple.

"Doing this for twenty-something years, of course I'm professional"

Robby let out a sarcastic laugh escape from his mouth, shaking his head in mock disbelief.

"Doubt it"

Dennis chuckled lowly, shaking his head. He liked these moments, the monotony and simplicity of the mornings, where they would share breakfast together and could laugh freely. It made him feel at ease, comfortable, at home.

"We leave in fifteen" Robby said, plating another stack of pancakes and setting them on the kitchen island. "They're still warm, dig in"

Breakfast was peaceful, even considering how hastily it was prepared and eaten. Jack filled the other two in on the other patients who were due to be discharged in a few hours, and so on.

When it was time to leave, while Robby was busy carrying his and Dennis's backpacks upstairs, the latter was drying the breakfast dishes while Jack washed them.

"Gonna go to bed?" Dennis asked, tilting his head to a side, stacking the dry plates to one side.

"You bet I will, sweetheart" the older man replied, drying up his hands now. "Go ahead, I'll put the dishes away" as he said that, he gave Dennis a light push with the hips.

"You just want the whole house to yourself. You sure you gonna sleep and not bring someone else?"

"Yeah, I actually invited the radiology guy. We'll have wild sex and all"

"Have fun then" Dennis said, shrugging a little as a smirk started to form on his lips.

Jack huffed, shaking his head and turned at Dennis, an amused smile on that pretty face of his —completely Dennis' words, of course.

Then, he leaned toward Jack, pressing his lips softly on the other's. Jack's hand gently gripped his waist in response, pulling him closer.

Over time, Dennis has noticed that his two boyfriends kiss differently, but they were equally warm. Jack kissed with a bit of roughness, but his kisses were always slow, taking the time to decipher Dennis's reactions and what he wanted without breaking the kisses. And Robby, on the other hand, kissed taking control, stealing Dennis's breath at every opportunity.

Either way, they always left Dennis with trembling legs. Oh, he loved to be kissed.

Jack broke the kiss softly, Dennis unconsciously reaching for another one, but the older one chuckled, shaking his head. "Go to work"

"You're no fun"

Dennis went outside to get in the car, giving Robby a few minutes while he said goodbye to Jack. Half an hour later, after parking the car and walking to the elevator, Dennis rested his head on the older man's shoulder as the doors closed.

"I'm tired" he mumbled.

"You wouldn't be sleepy if you hadn't stayed up late watching that movie" Robby said amused.

"Your fault, you told me you had a DVD player and old movies"

"Fair enough"

Dennis hummed, looking up at Robby, eyes roaming over the older man's face. The wrinkles, the beard, the lips, the nose... he hated how fucking beautiful that man was.

"You're gonna wear me out"

"Ugh, shut up"

Robby let out a chuckle, turning his head at Dennis, moving one hand to grip his shoulder, just like he used to do before they started to date.

"Can I kiss you?" Robby asked him, tilting his head a little.

But Dennis huffed, honestly amused. "Are you seriously asking me that?"

One characteristic of Robby is that he was silly when he wanted to be.

"What? Is that a no?"

When Dennis rolled his eyes, the other smirked and moved the hand across Dennis neck and cupped his left cheek, pulling him into a kiss, beard scrapping against Dennis' face as he melted onto it, eyes fluttering shut.

Dennis had really gotten used to this... fuck.

The kiss was too short for his liking, but oh well, it was the elevator, in the hospital, at work! God, how unprofessional they were.

He tried not to pout, failing miserably.

"You'll survive, Dennis"

"You're cruel. You spoil me. You give me lots of kisses and then you don't want to give me any more. You break my heart" Dennis said dramatically.

Robby chuckled lowly, shaking his head and stepping outside the elevator as soon as the doors opened. He gave Dennis a final glance over his shoulder, amused.

"Hurry up, Whitaker. You're running late" he said before disappearing through the corridor.

The young man stood in disbelief in the elevator.

"Fucker" he mumbled, walking out of the elevator too, following him.

[huckleberrysgf]

frank langdon but make him roblox

i'm kinda learning how to draw, so.... ;)

[huckleberrysgf]

Hiii, i wanted to ask if you could write something based on this tiktok? https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSu251Wbn/

You can do anything you want, but only maybe based on this? Please, love your writing btw 🥺🥺

look just like you

cw: dennis whitaker x platonic!michael "robby" robinavitch, hypothetical post-season 2, tw suicide, robby has been giving us too many suicidal comments, i hope he doesn't die bc that wouldn't be too funny lmao, jack abbot and trinity santos appearing, robby's age is the same one as noah's so idk maybe i'm wrong.

a.n: OH YOU DID NOT-- omggg i saw it too, i felt quite bad tbh bc omg robby whyyy, anyway, thanks for the request, hope this was what you wanted :3

all credits to the tiktok (acc: kirsssccche)

Dennis walked through the hospital with Trinity, he stopped in front of the wall with those pictures that seemed to be mocking him, all of them smiling, but smiling at whom?

Trinity didn't stop, she knew Dennis did that every morning and every night, and he preferred to be alone when he did it. Yet, she looked at him briefly from the distance, her chest tight because even if they weren't precisely close like the bffs everyone thought, she cared too damn much for him.

He tilted his head to a side, looking up at the picture up there, those eyes looking at him directly, that smile hidden behind that grayish beard.

"Dr. Michael Robinavitch

Senior Emergency Attending Physician

1971 – 2026"

"Today I watered your plants again, and I helped the old lady across the street; she's happy that someone keeps coming to your house and taking care of things..." he mumbled, gripping the strap of his bag. He felt the familiar lump in his throat, it was there everytime he talked to the picture. "I still wonder why- why you did it. We should've known, I guess"

Dennis sighed, chewing his lower lip. He felt guilty, he always did, he should have asked more questions, been more attentive. The signs were there, and nobody saw them.

Someone stood by his side, and he turned his head.

"Still talking to him?"

"Mhm" Dennis hummed. "Heard you do it too, Dr. Abbot" he said.

"My therapist said I should find a hobby" Jack shrugged a little, nonchalant, eyes fixed on the picture.

"Talking to a picture doesn't sound like a hobby, at least not a healthy one"

"What do you know about healthy habits?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, gaze landing on him now.

"Uh, I guess you're right" Dennis sighed, shaking his head.

They both stared at the picture now, deep in thought.

"You heading home?" he looked at Jack, trying to sound casual, but his voice was strained with his emotions, with the heaviness of the notorious absence of his mentor.

"You watered his plants today?" he received in return.

"Yeah, but couldn't clean the place, I was running late" the young man replied.

"I'll clean for you"

"Thanks. Uhm, do we know what's gonna happen to his house?" the question was quiet, careful.

"Not yet. His grandparents are still deciding, talking to his ex wife and all, but the wound it's still fresh for them. For all of us, honestly"

Dennis nodded at the answer; it seemed logical to him that they still didn't know what to do. How long has it been? A month? A month and a half?

"I miss him" Jack said, shoving one hand on his pocket, playing with his keys, the spare one that Robby gave to him a while ago burning his fingertips. "He's such a jerk, making me miss him? God, Robby, couldn't you have done anything else?"

Jack's words made Dennis smile a little, with sadness.

"Yeah, he's a jerk" he agreed softly.

Carefully, Jack turned his head at him, eyes fixed on his profile, on the way his eyes were still staring at the picture.

"Sometimes you're his spitting image" he said with an honesty that frightened the youngest one. "Too caring, too professional, too emotional"

Dennis heart was beating too fast because of that statement. It seemed insignificant, but, God, it was so much more than just a simple observation.

"You think so?" his voice oh so gentle, hopeful, it hurted Jack.

"He liked you. You are a quick learner, you have a compassionate soul, you are modest, and you know what you are doing even if you think you don't. You're like him when he started"

Oh, you could hear Dennis heart splitting in two.

"Take care, Whitaker" Jack said, patting his shoulder and walking on the way Dennis came in. "There's a patient in South 3 who needs to be discharged"

"Alright"

Dennis sighed, giving a last look at the photo and kept walking inside, unaware that Jack was watching him as he left, because Dennis and Robby felt so much like Robby and Adamson felt once.

[chosominous]

Dana, Caleb, Whitaker & Abbot at the end of Robby’s shift :

[huckleberrysgf]

like me older men

cw: michael "robby" robinavitch x dennis whitaker x jack abbot, established polyamorous relationship, allusion to sexual intimacy, just explaining their silly lore.

a.n¹: a friend asked me to write this and i was like ok bet.

a.n²: this comes in two parts btw.

part 2 coming soon !!

It all started out of nowhere. It wasn't that Dennis was innocent or stupid; rather, he was feigning ignorance about it. He'd noticed all the subtle touches Robby gave him during his first shift: shoulders, back, and also the subtle way the older man showed concern, which wasn't the same way he interacted with others.

He seemed to be special, and he really liked that.

Dennis would often smile when Robby appeared in the consultation room, asking how he was doing or what he was up to, praising at him on his good work. Dennis would go to a supply room to giggle about it.

But something was... weird, something felt heavy between the two of them, and there he accidentally discovered Robby and Jack Abbot sharing a goodbye kiss at night in the waiting room entrance.

Dennis felt bad, as if he were an object that Robby was using against Abbot, as if he was flirting with him, cheating on Abbot.

And of course, Dennis may seem naïve, but he was a decent human and after his shift, he talked to Abbot about it, and instead of receiving a weird or angry expression from the older man, he just said "I know".

That threw Dennis off, since the man was completely composed in the face of that information, almost as if he... didn't care? And oh, Dennis was more confused when Abbot said goodbye to him, walking past his side and giving his shoulder a firm squeeze... a squeeze that felt as good as Robby's touches.

Days at the PTMC became a little awkward after that, as Robby still wouldn't stop his touching, but it wasn't like Dennis was trying to stop him.

And then Abbot started too.

In those days when both shifts ended up working together, Abbot always kept his eyes on him, calling him over, standing close to him —so close that Dennis sometimes felt his breath on the back of his neck, always making him feel a pleasant warmth in his chest.

Was it possible for a person to like two men at the same time?

At least Dennis discovered that it was possible.

The time Abbot and Robby told him their intentions, along with revealing the mixed feelings both men had for him, a relationship began.

It was strange for the young man, well, even if Dennis has had a romantic relationship before, it was with a girl, at nineteen... oh, Dennis didn't know how this would turn out in the future.

It did well. Dates almost every weekend, Dennis sleeping at their shared house and even having his own toothbrush in the bathroom at that house, next to clothes and even bath towels for himself.

The intimacy was probably the best, and it's not about the sexual type, it's just about the little things that may be stupid or insignificant, such as Robby sliding silently a protein bar towards Dennis while he's doing his charts, or Dennis picking a movie to watch with Jack and the latter just letting him rest his head on his shoulder, while stroking those undefined curls. Or even when the three of them slept together on rare occasions, with Dennis in the middle because he has always been sensitive to the cold.

And they never rushed him. They understood that Dennis, even though he had a huge crush on them, was still adjusting to the relationship, both to the idea of dating one man and to being with TWO at the same time.

While sex was still a big no no to Dennis, he liked kissing them, a goodnight kiss with Abbot, a good morning kiss with Robby; hell, Dennis even once asked if he could kiss them both at the same time, and they didn't object. They had promised each other that Dennis should be the one to set the pace when it came to physical intimacy.

They didn't wanna scare him with their experience, that's all.

As the months passed, Dennis was completely comfortable in the relationship. He was no longer afraid to use the extra key that Robby and Abbot had given him, nor to express what he wanted for dinner when the three of them were together at night—a rare occasion that only happened when Jack took the shift off.

Dennis Whitaker, from a small town in Nebraska, didn't expect any of this when he went to Pittsburgh to study medicine, but he wasn't really complaining about it.

[girlwhateverdawg]

PTMC (pittsburgh trauma meep center)

[huckleberrysgf]

"did i do something wrong?"

cw: dennis whitaker x male!reader, established relationship, R4xR3, end of the shift, dennis dismisses his medical knowledge, mention of nicotine, not much more stuff, yeah.

You didn't mean to lash out, God knows that, but man it was infuriating to hear him saying the same stuff every single time he does something extremely good at work, "lucky guess", "anyone would have known".

You chewed the nicotine gum hard, your jaw and teeth almost grinding, trying to soothe the strange feeling you had in your chest.

You heard footsteps approaching and turned your head. Dennis was walking towards you with his bag over his shoulder, a shy, confused, and even slightly annoyed expression on his face.

"Can we talk?" he said as soon as he was next to you. You stared at him for a couple of seconds before starting to walk in the opposite direction. "Hey, no, don't do that" he begged, grabbing your wrist tightly. "Talk to me, what did I do? Did I do something wrong? Said something you didn't like?"

You hated his insistence, the way he sounded vulnerable yet firm about his doubts, but still, you kinda loved that. He has grown in these months, his self-esteem and confidence rising, but he still had moments where he felt his knowledge was limited or nonexistent, doubting himself.

"Look at me, please" he said softly.

You turned your head again at him, chewing a little harder the gum. Dennis sighed and raised his hand, palm open, and you rolled your eyes, dropping the gum on his hand.

"Is it working?" he asked, grabbing a piece of tissue from his pockets and wrapped it around the gum.

"Kinda. I still wanna smoke" you murmured, nonchalant.

After that, you were silent for a moment. Dennis tilted his head to the side, expectant, to be honest. "Well?"

You grunted. "It's just—shit, Dennis" you started, a little pissed off. "You have to stop that"

"Stop what?" he asked, notoriously confused. "What did I do?"

"Treating yourself less than others" you said, exasperated. He gave you a 'meep', nodding with his head and looking guilty at your statement. "You always do the same thing: you're given a patient with a problem, you solve it, and when they congratulate you, you say it was nothing, or that anyone would've guessed it"

Dennis just stared at you, chewing his cheek after his 'meep', that silly expression you loved too much.

"I'm sorry" he said, glancing away, crossing his arms on his chest. "It's just easier"

His answer puzzled you slightly. You shook your head gently and sighed, conflicted.

"What's 'easier', Dennis?"

"I grew up this way, I know it's wrong and I should change it, but I can't, I just can't" he said, shaking his head. "Discrediting what I know is- is much easier than believing I actually did something right. It's not like I know a lot, y'know"

That confession hurt you to the core. You knew Dennis hadn't had the best childhood, that he was happy his parents barely even recognized his name.

"You're an R4, Dennis, you're there for a reason. It's because you know a lot, because you're intelligent, because you're a good doctor, and because you're attentive and considerate!"

He sighed, uncrossing his arms and grabbed the strap of his bag, thinking.

"You really think that?" he asked softly, unsure.

"Yes, Dennis. I think that, and I know that"

Dennis didn't really believe you, but maybe, just maybe, he could allow himself to pretend. At least for a while, because he was tired from the day he'd had, a hectic day filled with blood, pain, and suffering.

And he just wanted to be held in your arms, eat something, take a shower and sleep.

He nodded, wrapping one hand around your bicep and pulled you with him as he started to walk slowly with you.

"If you say so" he said simply, guiding you, looking at you with those tired, blue eyes.

You knew he didn't believe you, but you could let it slide (at least this time). This was gonna take time, convincing him that he was good at what he did and that nothing was just down to mere luck.

"Pizza?" you offered.

"Pizza"

[xoxochb]

“abortion ends lives” so does pregnancy, school shootings, lack of gun restrictions, wars, genocides, and ice. but of course you don’t care about those because you just want control over women’s bodies!

[sheislucifer]

let me make myself very clear, on this blog its:

fuck donald trump

fuck ICE

immigrants are not illegal

free palestine

black lives have and will always matter

trans rights forever and always

pro choice

healthcare should be free

house the homeless

keep religion out of schools

LGBTQ+ rights

fuck the tories

if you dont agree, fuck off.

[huckleberrysgf]

so obvious it hurts

cw: dennis whitaker x trinity santos (platonic!), roomies, angst, slight reference to religious traumas if u squint ur eyes, internalized homophobia.

prompt: dennis tells santos about his crush on robby, just so that the two of them end up crying.

Dennis's senses were more alert than usual; not even in the trauma room had he felt this heightened, and it made him a little sick. He silently stared at the untouched plate in front of him. His appetite had vanished when Trinity started flipping through the TV channels, leaving the one showing "Brokeback Mountain".

It wasn't that Dennis was homophobic, quite the opposite, actually. But, fuck, every time he saw something like that, he felt his stomach clench with a feeling he couldn't really describe.

It was something that hurt too much.

The movie showed the first kiss between Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist, causing Dennis to look away rather conspicuously, which caught Trinity's attention. She turned her head toward Dennis and raised an eyebrow, putting her fork down on her plate.

"Is something wrong?" she asked teasingly. "Don't you like watching men kiss?" she said, nudging him.

He scoffed, a little sharp to pass as a joke.

"Yeah, that's exactly it" he muttered, shaking his head. "I wake up every day itching to critique gay cinema"

Trinity blinked, slightly caught off guard, even her teasing smile faltered. Not gone, just… thoughtful.

"Now, now, that was hostile, even for you, Huckleberry" she said slowly.

He pushed his fork around the plate, the scrape of it against the ceramic making his jaw tighten. And he didn’t look at her, because he knew that if he did, he'd cave.

"I'm fine" Dennis said quickly, as if that would fix anything. "Just– you know, long day, you were there."

Trinity leaned back in the couch, studying him. Not joking or bothering him, just observing him.

"You hate this movie" she emphasized. "You always do this when it's on"

Dennis opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it again. His chest felt too tight to keep trying to lie.

"I don't hate it" he admited, quieter. "Just hate what it does"

And that earned a silence; it felt dangerous.

Dennis swallowed hard, his throat burning.

"It's stupid, I know" he rushed to say. "It's just a dumb movie. Two guys kissing. Normal, whatever. I know that. I know that" his voice cracked.

And for the first time, Trinity didn't have a joke to say, so she simply listened.

"I just-" he laughed, breathless, miserable. "Every time I see stuff like this, it's like something in me goes, see? See? But- but then something else goes, don’t. And at this point I don't know which one is louder anymore"

Finally, he looked at her.

"I think I'm in love with Robby" he said, but it wasn't dramatically, nor heroically.

It was a confession and a sentence all at once.

Trinity's eyes filled before she could even stop those tears

At another time, Dennis would have been surprised to see such a reaction from her, but he was so consumed by his own grief that he didn't even seem to notice.

"Oh, Dennis" she whispered.

Not Whitaker. Not Huckleberry. Dennis. It was Dennis.

And that did it. That was the exact moment where he was about to break, because she didn't sound disappointed, or amused or shocked. She sounded like she was grieving this with him.

He dragged a hand over his face, breathing hard, body sweaty.

"I'm not supposed to feel like this, to feel this" he said. "I've tried not to. I swear to God, I've tried"

Trinity crossed slowly the space between them and sat silently beside him. They were close, but not touching.

"You don't have to try with me" she mumbled, her voice waveringa little, yet she did a good job disguising it. "You never did"

That's when he started crying. It was quiet at first, ashamed, as if he were doing something wrong by letting out what he was feeling.

And Trinity, steady and faithful Trinity, cried too, wrapping one arm around the young man's shoulders.

[huckleberrysgf]

the loss of his life

cw: dean winchester x gn!reader, established relationship, mentions of weapons (machete), injures and blood, mourning/grief, use of petname [baby], angst.

The machete slid easily through the neck in front of him, the head rolling away from the body whose hands were covered in blood, your blood.

Dean dropped the gun to the floor and turned to you, and the world froze. He didn't know how to breathe anymore, because he couldn't, not if you weren't breathing for him.

He crouched down beside you, his hands dirty with mud and gun powder, pressing against the wound on your stomach that stretched from one side to the other. His green eyes, darkened by the pain of seeing you like this, fixed on your face; your eyes slightly open, dried tears on your temples, and your lips chapped and dry.

"Baby, don't do this to me" he whispered, his voice cracking.

He called your name in a low voice, it sounded like a prayer. Silently, he wrapped his arms around your neck and the back of your knees, lifting you gently into the back seat of the Impala, brushing your hair away from your face and closing your lifeless eyes.

He drove slowly toward the bunker, and oh, he wouldn't let anyone touch you. Not Sam, not Cas, not Jack, not Rowena, even though the latter took pity on you and offered some spell that might revive you, but Dean refused.

"If I die one day, I don't want you to bring me back to life" you once told him, nursing a beer with him. "Burn me like the other hunters"

He took you to the bunker's bathroom to clean the blood and close the wound that had taken your life. Very carefully, he stitched the wound and undressed you, taking care not to move you too much, thinking he might accidentally wake you from the eternal sleep you were in. He cleaned you up and dressed you again in clean clothes: your favorite jeans, your usual boots, and that flannel shirt of Dean's that you loved to steal because it always smelled like him.

After even combing your messy hair, he grabbed some clean sheets that were there and wrapped them around you, your figure marked in the white sheets thanks to the ropes, finishing with your head, giving you a last kiss on the forehead.

Seeing you being burned was even more painful. Sam took charge of cutting the wood with the help of Castiel and Jack, as if it were an altar just for you, both brothers alongside the two angelic beings standing in front of the flames that were slowly consuming your body, leaving you in a couple of hours in just ashes that Dean took charge of collecting and putting in a box, contrary to what people were supposed to do with the ashes of a hunter.

He did it all in silence.

That night, Dean lay in bed, staring at your side in the darkness. Your pillow had a few of your hairs on it, your scent still clinging to the fabric. He reached out, as if trying to find you in the dim light of the cold room.

He found nothing, and that made him let out a stifled sob; his hand searched harder, but his fingers didn't touch you, and that made him cry curled up with your pillow, inhaling your scent and filling his lungs with it.

Dean stayed like that all night, crying silently into your pillow, trying to relive the shape of your body, as if he were hugging you with all his might.

As soon as he realized it was the next morning, he got out of bed heavily and walked to the bathroom, stopping at the door when he saw your things there: your toothbrush, your shampoo, your towel next to his, your perfumes. He grabbed one of them and dabbed it on the air, his breath coming in short gasps as he smelled it.

He went to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror; he was emaciated, almost like a dead man.

Well, that's how he felt, because Dean Winchester died on the same day as you.

[huckleberrysgf]

new year, new life

cw: dean winchester x afab!reader, established relationship, fluff, kissing, suggestive; and my poor attempt at writing a marriage proposal, 'm sorry, i'm not the romantic typa person :c.

The room was quiet and smelled like the hotel bathroom soap, mixed with Dean's shampoo and your body lotion.

The TV was showing an old movie that neither of you were paying attention to, because you two were busy eating some greasy burgers with fries, feeding each other playfully while drinking some beers.

The clock reads 23.49.

"Shit- my hands are dirty, could you-? Yeah, thanks" you said, Dean already tilting your beer bottle to your lips. You took a sip and Dean set it aside, handing you a napkin. "Thanks"

He nodded, taking another bite of his food before cleaning his hands with his own napkin, as his eyes stayed fixed on your face.

You didn't eat in a particularly elegant way, to be honest. You didn't make a huge mess, but you didn't eat like a lady either, and Dean really liked that. He felt you were more natural that way, more real.

Dean had hearts in his eyes every time he saw you.

He cleared his throat and turned his body fully in your direction, catching your attention.

"So, huh, I wanted to ask you something" he said softly, hand nerviously rubbing the back of his neck.

You set aside what little was left of your burger and looked at him, tilting your head again, something Dean found endearing. "Yeah? What?"

Dean took a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves that were plaguing him.

'C'mon, Dean, you can do it,' he thought, encouraging himself to commit the next feat that would change their lives.

"Okay, so..." Dean began, trying to meet your eyes, but his gaze kept wandering. "I know we don't have a conventional relationship, let alone our lifestyles"

A nervous laugh escaped him, letting you know how anxious he felt; you thought that nerves probably coursed through his veins. It was a rare sight, honestly, but that didn't make you dislike it.

You appreciated it when he acted like that.

"But, I've been thinking... this is terrifying. We live in constant danger, I've died an absurd number of times, and every single time you've lost your mind"

"Yes, that happens when you lose your boyfriend a lot of times. I guess you can't get used to that" you said softly, trying to dispel the nerves that were starting to bother you.

What was he trying to achieve with all this?

"Yeah, maybe," Dean agreed, smiling slightly, a nervous smirk. "What I mean is, I don't want to keep living like this, being the boyfriend who keeps dying and you have to find some miraculous way to bring me back to life"

You nodded in response to his words.

"Can I be honest, Dean?" you murmured. He nodded. "You scare me. Your words are scaring me"

He laughed a little, certainly ashamed because of his wording.

"Yeah, I'm messing this up a bit" he said softly, letting out an exhausted sigh. "God– I don't even know how to keep saying this"

Who would have thought that the confident and flirtatious Dean Winchester would act like this when talking to a girl, huh? But I mean, well, he wasn't talking to just any girl, it was you. His girl.

"I love you" he said after what felt like an eternity of tension. "And I can't imagine one last time dying unless I'm completely yours" with that, Dean got out of bed and went to his duffel bag, tripping over his boots as he did so.

You managed to chuckle, despite the anxiety you were feeling, at his behavior.

He looked cute, in a way.

Dean rummaged through his bag until he found what he wanted, and sat back down next to you on the bed.

"I don't know much about romantic gestures" he murmured, trying to sound casual, his hand clenched into a tight fist with whatever he held there. "But I'm trying, I want you to know"

And oh, you did know.

"I spent over three hours in a jewelry store with Sam trying to find the perfect ring. And I didn't actually find it! But then I remembered I had this one" he opened his hand, revealing to you one of his old silver rings, but smaller. "I had it resized to fit you" he added. "I kinda stole one of your rings"

Your breath caught in your throat. That was the ring you had liked so much from him, the first time you saw him in that bar several years ago where he invited you a drink and ended up playing pool, you humiliating him in the game.

"I'm not perfect, but I strive to be perfect for you, 'cause you deserve the perfect man. And I hope that, with all my stupid shortcomings and problems, you will still accept my heart-" his voice cracked a little, the nerves, that's all. "And allow me to be your husband"

You stared at him and nodded slowly, speechless. The gears were turning in your head, processing the fact that this was really happening, and that it wasn't a dream or a delusion created by a Djinn.

This was really happening.

The clock read 00:03.

"Yes" you finally blurted out, a giggle escaping your lips. Dean's eyes sparkled at your answer, a crooked smile playing on his lips as he slipped the ring onto your finger, where it fit perfectly. "I want you to be my husband- I wanna be your wife"

And then he kissed you slowly, hand gently cupping your cheek, and you melted at his touch. His lips were rough and warm, they felt just like home.

It felt surreal. Something you longed for. You'd been through so much shit and pain with Dean that just thinking about living without him was painful.

Because what would you do without his warmth? Without his roughness? Without his affection? Without his jokes and references to movies you've never seen? Without his rock music on cassettes? Without his perversion and his touch that made you feel like the only woman in his life, that made you feel desired even when you didn't feel like the beautiful woman he saw?

"How about having some fun to start the year, huh?" he said mid-kiss, teeth playfully biting your lower lip, tugging it slightly, the anxiety now completely dissipated clearly.

You laughed at his suggestion, that stupid, pervy side of him you liked, but instead of responding verbally you pushed him onto his back on the bed, kissing him again.

You were definitely having some fun right now, you both deserved it.

[huckleberrysgf]

miss him

cw: dean winchester x afab!reader, established relationship, angsty end, dean missing his baby brother, that's all.

a.n: this is really short and it sucks, but i'm working in another project i may post one day.

It was around 2 or 3 AM when you felt something move next to you in the bed that woke you up. You opened your eyes and turned your head, watching Dean getting comfortable in bed, perhaps having been like that for a long time.

You sighed and fully turned to face him, and you poked his shoulder gently, getting his attention.

"Shit- did I wake you up?" he asked you softly, propping himself on one elbow. "Sorry, didn't mean to" he apologized.

You hum in response, feeling the sleep slowly leave your system, mainly because there was something in his voice that caught your attention.

It was vulnerability, something you've only heard a few times from him.

"What's in your mind?" you asked him softly, sitting up slowly and you touched his shoulder gently.

He was tense.

"Nothing" he replied, voice slightly strained. "Go back to sleep"

You frowned your lips a little and tilted your head to a side. You knew him, which meant you knew that "nothing" really meant there was something, something he was having trouble admitting.

It's been like this ever since Sam went to Stanford.

He didn't really talk about it. It had only been a few months since Sam had left to study, abandoning Dean, and he wouldn't deign to speak about it.

He was hurting and wouldn’t let you in.

"You miss him, don't you?" you asked him after a couple of minutes, leaning towards him, resting your chin on his bare shoulder. He tensed up, more than he already was. "It's okay to miss him, Dean"

He let out a shuddering breath and shook his head, he hated how you were able to read him, just like a damn book.

"It's just-" he started, chewing his inner cheek, debating whether or not it was worth telling you what he was thinking. He exhaled heavily and leaned his head back, resting it on yours. "He just left, you know? He left, without even thinking twice, without speaking to me, without..." his voice trailed off and he grunted, the sound cracking. "He didn't even say goodbye..."

And there it was, that vulnerability that he refused to show you, finally making its presence known.

"So many years, his whole life literally, and he just—shit, he just left! And Dad, damn it, he kicked him out! It's just- so stupid! He's stupid!" he said, clearly frustrated and... hurted. "They're all stupid..."

He was hurting–of course he was, dammit. He missed his baby brother, even if it seemed like his brother didn't care about the older one.

"I'm sorry" Dean mumbled, pulling himself together. He sighed heavily and shook his head. "I should let you sleep, we have to keep moving and-"

You clicked your tongue and shook your head too, at the same time moving your hand toward his cheek and turned his head, so he could look into your eyes.

"We don't have to talk about Sam if you don't want to" you said softly, the pad of your thumb stroking his cheekbone. "But you can't bottle up everything you feel"

You could see the gears turning in Dean's head, as if he were thinking about your words, digesting them, trying to think on what to say.

"It just hurts" he finally said. "I get why he left, but I wish I didn't have to, and I wish he didn't have to abandon me. At this point, everyone does that"

You tilted your head and leaned to kiss his forehead; this gesture generated a huge, strange feeling in his chest, which made him feel more vulnerable.

"I won't abandon you, if it helps" you mumbled, your voice calm yet firm.

He hummed, mostly because he didn't trust in his voice. He could break himself, and start to cry right there. And God, how he hated crying in front of you.

But to you, at least, that simple hum was enough to know that he knew that you were there, and that you would always be. So, you nodded, shifting again in the bed and pulled him in your arms, hugging him.

"Huh... what are you doing?" he asked, voice hoarse, and thick with emotion, yet he felt himself meeting under your touch.

You didn't answer his question; you simply let the warmth of your body envelop him, overwhelming him slightly and making his breathing catch in his throat. And when he least expected it, tears fell onto your shirt, while he finally broke.

[huckleberrysgf]

your warmth

cw: beau arlen x afab!reader, sort of established relationship, protected p in v, mentions of fingering and pussy eating, kind of size difference, beau being a softie over all.

You knew you were doomed when you let Beau into your life a year ago, when you let that mountain of a man hold you in his arms after a night of shots and some barbecue, which ended with you making love on your apartment carpet like it was something you'd always done.

Then it became a habit. And later, something formal.

He carefully tore open the condom package, his eyes fixed on you and your naked body, adorned with purple marks on your thighs and neck, with a fine layer of sweat on every inch of your skin. He unrolled the condom on his cock, moaning softly at the cold lube on it.

"These damn things– they barely have lube" he grumbled, stretching over your body to reach your nightstand. "Stupid companies that make us spend more money on them and their sex products"

You chuckled softly, grabbing your bottle of lube before him and opened it, pouring a generous amount of lubricant on his hand.

"I'd rather spend money on more lube than on the doctor because you fucked me without it" you shrugged, spreading your legs again for him.

He hummed, nodding his head. You were right after all.

His eyes moved from your face to your dripping pussy on display and licked his lips, grabbing the base of his dick and guided himself towards your already prepared cunt, a little sloppy because of his fingers and tongue.

"You're s'pretty" he mumbled, rubbing his tip against your folds, opening his way into your warmth. He sank inside of you slowly, eyes watching how his cock disappeared into you up to the base. "'n still a little tight– you good?" he asked, voice soft.

You nodded, taking in him, squirming. "Just give me a sec" you pleaded softly. "Don't get how I can't still get used to your size"

"It's okay" he chuckled, leaning over you, placing his forearms on either side of your head on the pillow. "I can pull out and get you ready again" he offered, but you shook your head.

"Nah, just gonna adjust to you" you reassured him, moving your hands to his chest, caressing his warm skin with your fingers. "Besides it's our last condom, I ain't wasting it"

Beau chuckled again, shaking his head, slightly amused at your comment. "Yeah, guess I'll buy more later"

You hummed, staring at him, his face glowing with the sunrays of the morning, sneaking through the closed curtains. And he noticed that stare in your eyes. You were in love, that was for sure.

"You’re staring" he mumbled, voice gruff and low, filled with love.

"I know I am" you replied, shifting a little on your spot, the previous burn from when he slid into you was no longer present, and now you only felt his cock throbbing inside you.

He needed you. You knew that. But he was still waiting for the green light, for your signal, so he could move.

He always waited for you. No one else did that, just him.

"You can move" you said softly after a while, patting his side.

That characteristic gleam in Beau's eyes intensified, and he nodded his head eagerly, slowly pulling back his hips until the tip remained inside of you, and pushed back in, dragging a low moan from him.

You let out a soft moan as his hips met yours, as he started to find a pace with his thrusts.

He always made you feel so full, so loved, so cherished whenever you two got intimate. Maybe it was the way he touched you, with soft and gentle hands, as if you were made out of glass; or maybe it was the way he looked at you, deeply in love, as if you were the most precious thing ever.

"You feel so good" he moaned lowly against your ear, his beard scratching your skin deliciously.

The aftermath was wonderful. Your orgasm hit you like a truck, the pleasure running through your body and making you shake under his firm, warm body.

Your inner thighs were sticky and wet, it was an uncomfortable yet strangely amazing sensation.

He pressed his forehead against yours for a few seconds catching his breath, before slipping out of your cunt. He took off the condom and tossed it on a bin beside one of the nightstands, then he slumped next to you, pulling you into his arms and kissed your forehead, his fingers skimming your bare, sweaty back.

"You okay?" he asked softly, tucking your head under his chin.

"Better than ever" you replied, catching your breath, your chest moving up and down. God, he always gave you mind blowing orgasms. "You killed me here"

He chuckled, a low rumble from his chest that made you smile softly. "Yeah, I tend to have that effect on you"

You chuckled as rested your cheek against his sweaty chest and slowly closed your eyes. "I love you" you said softly.

"Love you too"

[huckleberrysgf]

the way you are

cw: ftm!dean winchester x afab!reader, mentions of blood, mentions of needles and injections (HRT), tiredness, slight angst (tw gender dysphoria!).

a.n ¹: this is honestly a hc i had years ago, nothing serious. if you don't like it pls don't leave hate comments or anything. remember this is fiction, you shouldn't get mad bc of a silly little hc.

a.n ²: btwww i looked out for information to write this trying to not disrespect anyone, yet i know medical information is not enough to describe how trans people are and how hormones or sugeries change their lives.

The hunt was tough, exhausting. There was a lot of running and hiding, and little air to breathe. Although it wasn't anything you two couldn't handle.

Dean fell onto the bed like a starfish. He was sweaty, dirty, exhausted.

"At least take off your clothes before lying on the bed" you said, walking into the bathroom, washing your face, the water coming out with dirt and a little blood —not yours, at least.

But Dean didn't respond, not even a witty answer or something. He was tense, you could tell.

After you dried your face, you walked and sat next to him, the bed sinking under your weight.

"What's on your mind?" you asked him, gently raising your hand to pat his thigh affectionately.

Dean snorted and sat back, leaning on his palms and looking at you, swinging his feet a little. "Nothin', just tired"

But you knew better than that.

"Got a problem down there again?" you asked, tilting your head to a side.

"Shush, woman" he groaned, his cheeks heating up.

'Got him', you thought, smiling a little.

"Take a shower, and for the love of God, change your underwear"

"Don't tell me what to do" he huffed, but there was no sharp in his voice, just exhaustion. "It's just... you know... just discomfort"

You nodded with your head, taking in the information. "Does it hurt?"

"No, not really. I'm rubbing myself too much with my underwear, I guess. I'm sensitive, that’s all"

Dean's hormone therapy had pros and cons, one of those cons was the increase in the size of the clitoris, increasing sensitivity to any type of friction.

And that was annoying as fuck, to say the least.

"Take a shower. And no underwear, just pajamas" you said, changing your order. "It might help"

Dean sighed and stood up, walking towards the bathroom and disappeared through the door, the soft click behind him.

Right after he closed the door and you could hear the sound of the shower running, you walked towards his duffel bag and rummaged through his things. You smiled victoriously when you found what you needed, and closed his duffel bag with his pajamas in hand.

He spent half an hour inside, and walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his torso, his skin still wet.

He looked troubled honestly, and you didn't like that, not even a little bit.

"Hey, c'mere" you told him softly, extending one hand in his direction.

Dean kind of hated being taken care of, but he was exhausted, so just this once, he decided to let himself be taken care of. So, he walked towards you and held your hand, sighing softly.

"It's more than just the friction, isn’t it?" you asked him softly, wrapping your fingers around his.

He flinched at your words, at your touch, like they scraped something raw inside him. Slowly, he looked at you, green eyes storm-dark, rimmed with something that looked too much like fear.

"I just don't feel like a dude right now, that’s all"

That answer sounded pretty simple, but you knew better.

This wasn't the first time Dean felt like this, and it won't be the last one.

"Dean" you said his name like a prayer. Your hands cupped his cheeks, his stubble scratching your palms, but you don't mind, you never did.

You didn't say anything else, because you knew you didn't need to. That simple gaze, the look in your eyes, told him everything that was actually complicated to say.

It was never easy to convince him of the opposite of what he felt or thought about himself, because sometimes the same words you could repeat don't have the same effect as the last time. Convincing him that you loved his body just the way it was was a game of chance.

Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't.

Sometimes he felt man enough to go about his normal day. Sometimes he didn't.

And that was okay.

"Wanna talk about it, tho?" you offered, tilting his head to a side.

"I think I want to get dressed first... but maybe" he replied softly, you could see his shoulders relax a little. "I guess I wanna talk about it"

And that was a start, a really good one.

Dean got dressed in silence after asking you if you could... not look at him, like you usually do whenever he feels like this. You didn't fight, of course. You never did. So you could only hear the rustling of his pajamas and his breathing as he dressed himself.

Soon enough, you two were sitting next to each other, your backs leaning against the headboard with a huge bag of chips and two cold sodas —it would have been beers, but Dean didn't want to risk disrupting his hormone therapy by drinking alcohol, even if the risk was higher only when a lot of beer was consumed.

"I'm not gonna lie, this sucks" he said, shoving in his mouth a handful of chips. "I don't wanna feel like this. Feeling like I'm not myself, or alien to my body, or worse, that I'm not enough of a man for you"

You nodded, nudging his knee with yours.

"You're enough for me. Surgeries or not, you're a man to me, my man, the man I love. It's not about what you have or don't have, or the body you didn't ask for"

His shoulders trembled like he was trying to not breakdown right there in front of you. "Why?"

""Why" what?"

"Why are you trying so hard to make me feel better?" he asked quietly, a sight of vulnerability he hated to show you, because you might think he's weak.

But he's not weak in your eyes.

"Because I love you, just the way you are. And I would do anything for you. Even if it gets hard or rough. I'm not gonna give up on you, no matter how hard you even try to push me away"

Dean took a shuddering breath, shaking his head slightly, a little smile on his face.

"Guessed you'd say something like that" he mumbled.

You stared at him in silence, and for the first time since this conversation started, he looked back at you.

"I love you too" he said softly.