Musings ...

[hummingbirdinsummer-blog]

And thus it is.

2 decades . A couple. 2 lifestyles. A life. 2 children. 2 parents. Too mundane for one. So A strife. An affair. A heartbroken end. Swing into another. YOLO after all. Betrayal. Insults. Silent Cries. Old relations. just a decade of lies.

2 children. Why's Dad not there. He doesn't care. Dad's too busy. on the phone. With friends. Got no time for child care. Why. What. Where. Doesn't share. No hugs. No smiles. Stay silent or there's a wrath to bear. Dad's busy in an affair.

2 children. 1 mom. Tired. High pitched. Always there. Laughing and joking. Scolding and smoking. Putting it on. House and job. Coz Life goes on.

[music-and-quotes]

I can’t explain you would not understand, This is not how I am.

Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb (via music-and-quotes)

[quotemadness]

I love you more than my own skin and even though you don’t love me the same way, you love me anyways, don’t you? And if you don’t, I’ll always have the hope that you do, and I’m satisfied with that. Love me a little. I adore you.

Frida Kahlo (via quotemadness)

Love 

[hummingbirdinsummer-blog]

The Meeting

The text message on her phone surprised her. It has been years since they had spoken and even more since they’ve met. The message was almost formal .  “ Can I call you ?” This need for formality was slightly baffling. She contemplated for a second if she should text or call back. Her lunch break was almost over so she called him. He wanted to meet her. This is getting even more puzzling. What was it that cant be tackled over phone. She was aware his wife doesn’t like him to keep in touch with her . There was no ill feeling amongst them. Just a way of life.  

An appointment was fixed for the next day after office. She laughed at the irony of it. All through their teenager years he has been dropping in at her house unannounced. Had way laid her on the way back from school and college , pretending as if he was just passing that way. The conversations would last for an hour minimum and definitely more. She liked talking to him or rather listening to him coz he spoke nineteen to her half a dozen. But that was it. She never went out of her way to talk to him or seek his attention. He was just a friend. He had never conveyed any romance so acceptance or rejection didn’t come into play. His friends would drop broad hints though . Her friends would tease her about him as is normal amongst teenagers. But Life took them on their individual paths. He married, moved cities and lost touch. She climbed the corporate ladder and moved on to different friends circle. Though not completely. The school reunion meet put them in touch but only to the extent of exchanging phone numbers. There was no exchange of messages .She felt a bit awkward. Was it the passage of years? Meeting friends is never complex or awkward. You just meet , laugh, reminiscence & leave.

Next day she had just wrapped up work when her intercom buzzed to announce that she had a visitor. He is punctual she noted with a smile as she picked up her belongings and walked out .

He was sprawled on the sofa fiddling with his phone, absolutely at ease in a corporate office lobby. He had grey streaks now and his nose looked more angular in his middle aged face. But otherwise he looked just the same. The lopsided smile was still in place as he greeted her with a formal handshake. They took the elevator to the rooftop coffeeshop as per their appointed place of meeting. Quite involuntarily it occurred to her that this was the first time the two of them had met over coffee. They had never had a date.

Did he always talk without meeting the eye ? She couldn’t recall. He spoke softly like old times. Though the exuberance was gone but not his slightly peculiar way of talking and choice of words that made her smile in reminiscence. He wanted a loan. A small amount.  But not an interest bearing loan. The once carefree teenager with dreamy brown eyes still existed battered by the harsh world of reality. This request was one of those gasps to stay afloat. An ailing mother, an exhausting job, an estranged wife nevertheless he had enrolled in an expensive management course and had bought a new car last month. He needed the loan to pay the dailycaregiver who had declared mutiny for non-payment for last few months. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Commonsense told her to refuse. That it would be the last she would see of her money. He was clearly not friends with money management.  

The teller machine was near the elevator so the transaction was completed quickly. He expressed his gratitude still looking at a spot somewhere above her head. She just nodded as the elevator arrived. Once in the foyer , he thanked her again and was gone. Never once asking her if she needed a ride to her place or how was she going home. His house was a block away from hers he had said. She stood there for a moment and then shrugged her shoulders .As she zipped up her jacket  she muttered “ So what were you expecting??  it was just a meeting”.  And stepped out in the windy pavement to hail a cab.

[hummingbirdinsummer-blog]

Strangers

A text. A stranger. An intruder in a happy-go-lucky chat between friends, A polite reply. Another text. swiped aside for later.

A text. A reply. another text. An emoticon.

A text. A smile. A skip of the heart. A teasing . A witty repartee. no longer an intruder.

A text. A sarcasm. A feeling of being judged. sarcastic reply . egos . an apology. a forward. an emoji. a smile

A text. a habit. a song. a laughter. an insider joke. an invite. a refusal

A text. chat trails. a date. chance meets. A text . arranged meets. a chat. a text. a gift. A roadside stall. A mall. a lobby. A fete. A text.

A midnight text. A midday text . and in-betweens . bad moods. happy moods. new ventures. old relations. city changes. songs. A text

Neverending chat trails. no communications. a text. a dinner. a coffee. a drink. a text. a kiss. a text. a gift. expectation thwarts.  

A text. a call. silence for some more. sexting. wasting. a refusal. a text. a chat trail. of relationships. paradigm shifts. motivations. attitudes. delete and keel.  

A text. no reply. A text. swipe aside. A text. Late reply. A text . An intruder again. and it's just another text again.