[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

I wonder when I’ll kill myself I just don’t see me living a long life or anything past that

[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

Supposed to host a party today...for my birthday .... yet all I want to do is kill my self a ha Hahahha

[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

It’s crazy how you can love someone so much but have to stay their friend in order to never risk losing their soul overall.....but it’s worth it......super hard but I can do this and handle this

[househunting]

$1,299,900/5 br/6100 sq ft

Lakewood, OH

built in 1973

[hype]

[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

Why do I surround myself with people who treat me like objects ??? When will I learn to let go of people && I’m referring to friends

Friends that use me

Don’t consider me

Selfish disgusting people that are just rude flat out mean

When will I learn

[squids-among-stars]

Squidolus [Day:1004 Hour:0]

[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

Yesterday I met someone at an event & he was cute but didn’t match my energy at first so eventually I left

I found him again at an after party and we started to dance together

It was super hot and intimate. Perfect perfect flow

By the end of the night I decided to go home instead of to his place.....Atleast from the club

Once I got to bed I realized fuck it idk when I’ll see this guy again anyways since he lives 4 hours away

So I showered and went over

We talked for a bit and then we hooked up which was wow off the charts

I don’t even think my ex who broke my heart was as sweet in bed as this guy was. But also rough. It was the perfect amount of everything from the kissing to the touching to the talking to the feelings

It was all really really really good

Then we spent another hour or so in my car just talking about the things we like and who we are and we both were just like upset at the fact that there’s long distance between us

He seemed just as into me and he wants to hangout again this weekend while I’m up there

Buttttttt I got left on read 6 hours ago....I mean idk

Idk he is that type of lowkey chill keep it cool guy but idk idk

I fell in love for a night I guess which sucks

It was also worth it

I just have to keep reminding myself on how unrealistic it was to keep his attention regardless of how well we meshed I guess

[maureen2musings]

Alpine Wonderland

calibreus

[deseos-de-la-via-lactea]

my instagram

[bl-ossomed]

[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

2/22 12:33 I miss you again shocker

[geyashvecova]

Design graphics Geya Shvecova (Trippy_Tunnel_241119)

[aestheticacadema]

[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

It’s Valentine’s Day

I have this vision

I go to take flowers to your family’s house, for your mom and your sister. I’d buy a cookies n creme Hershey’s bar for the little one because I know that’s what she loves and I’d probably buy cooking utensils for your mom

See I already planned to do this in real life, I decided against it because...well if you’re with someone new then I guess I shouldn’t be THAT ex gf.

In my new vision, I go to give the flowers to your mom and you appear behind her.

I really wish I could take those to your family though, I wouldn’t do it just for the possibility of seeing you because I know you probably wouldn’t be home. I genuinely care love and miss them and just wanted to let them know I care, even though I’m probably nobody to them.

I’m too nice sometimes, I’m too loving and too good. I’m too good for you and yet here I am still craving you.

I guess none of this is my place anymore

[softwaring]

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7OhDgWnvrw/ - rainier has my whole heart forever

[hundredsofthousandsoftenths]

I’ve tried laying with other boys since you’ve gone and it is never the same

It doesn’t feel right and it doesn’t feel like the home I built in your arms

I wonder, does it feel that way for you too? Or have you found someone new who easily replaced the way I made you feel. Have you found a home in someone else’s arms?