Empty Plate Full Mind

CW:373 UGW:150

[ichbringmichum1]

[hungerbee]

My body gallery is an iOS app and a website that has lot of body types weights and so forth

[hungerbee]

Long rant post feel free to skip

For context I am 27f who is 6ft tall and 374£s, my BMI is 50.7.

I have been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember. I have recovered and relapsed from ED more than I can count and my weight has just seem to go up and up. I was taking heart medication that recently pushed my weight over the edge so to speak and I’m feeling so trapped in my own body. I want to make real and lasting changes in my life so that I can actually live and have a life worth living! Many people have suggested weight loss surgery to me and I never wanted to do it for several reasons mainly my pride and self loathing “oh you have to cheat? You don’t have enough will power to loose the weight on your own!” Etc but also I don’t really want to have any surgeries needlessly ya know? But I’m at the point where I need help loosing the weight my stubbornness will literally kill me if I don’t do something so I started looking.

I stumbled across the gastric balloon which is a non surgical procedure where essentially you swallow a saline balloon and it takes up room in your stomach so that you feel fuller and help you retrain your brain for proper portion control etc etc I thought that was a great ideas it’s non surgical and temporary you only have it in for 6-12 months and you have to have dietitian appointments regularly and I thought this will help me kickstart weight loss learn healthy eating habits and nutrition.

Welp guess what? I have to loose 75+ in order to qualify for the procedure. Like isn’t the point of this to help people who can’t loose weight on their own? If I’m going to loose almost 100£s on my own before I can even have this done why would continue with the procedure?! I am feeling so defeated like it is genuinely impossible to live in the world as a fat person I dont want to live like this but I feel like I’m never going to be strong enough to get out.

[hungerbee]

Lunch-260

40-2 slices of thin sliced deli ham

60- 1 slice of American cheese single

160- 6 pretzel balls

0- 1tbs of yellow mustard

Next time I’m going to put the mustard on the pretzels first to keep the cheese and ham on so it doesn’t turn in to a mess like this.

[dct-211]

stresses me out

@deijahchristyne on pinterest

[peachesaresulli]

more stuff i found. i love pinterest

[boyenthusiast]

looked in the mirror for a bit too long today

[hungerbee]

I have a vacation planned for September. It’s a lake house and we’ll be on the water and I’ll be the only beached whale there 😫 the friends I’m going with are all so small I’m going to be triggered most of the time I’m there. I’m determined to loose at least 75£s before we get there.

Rules:

Intake- goal is 500 but no more than 1000.

Exercise- 2 hours a day no less than 1.

Omad everyday, window is 5pm-7pm

[nextthinthing]

Heard we are bringing this back

[hungerbee]

Uggg this brought back soo many memories 😅

[hungerbee]

In case anyone was wondering this is the spoon scale that I got. I like it well enough it is fairly low profile compared to using like a counter scale, it was only like $13 so it’s not too bad. I usually only use it when I’m at work since it’s easier to get food from the cafeteria on site this way I can still portion the way I want. I told my coworkers I like to eat off the plate I have over the takeaway boxes the food comes in that way if they see me scooping it out they won’t ask questions.

Buy boongo Digital Spoon Scale, Precision Measuring Kitchen Electronic Food Spoon Scale for Baking and Coffee, 500g/0.1g Large LCD Display,

[hungerbee]

Breakfast-????

My coworker was super sweet and brought me breakfast but I was planning on fasting do I didn’t bring my spoon scale so I have no idea how much this is and I felt like an asshole if I didn’t eat it so that how today is going

This is half of what they gave me 😫

[hungerbee]

Which is actually worse? Hunger pains or caffeine withdrawal headaches? Asking for a friend 😅

[hungerbee]

Breakfast-190

[hungerbee]

Total for today is 1256. I didn’t take my more pic of my meals but I’ll be sure to do so in the future

[hungerbee]

Breakfast-110

[angethestrange]

me for the past 3 years

I just want to know what its like to be skinny

[hungerbee]

I’m too reliant on prepackaged foods! Makes cal counting so hard! The salad measurements are guesstimated I try to always go over rather than under