I hope you know I love you.

four honest people hoping to resuscitate the heart in music.

[hunterdumpedushere]

Hi. This Saturday we are in Des Moines with @couragemylove, Switchblade Saturdays, and Street Thieves. 5pm, $10 at door. Be there. 📸@danielhpe #hunterdumpedushere #streetthieves #couragemylove #switchbladesaturdays #music #iowa #vaudevillemews #show #bandsofinstagram (at Vaudeville Mews)

[hunterdumpedushere]

Cheers. This Saturday we are in Des Moines with @couragemylove, Switchblade Saturdays, and Street Thieves. 5pm, $10 at door. Be there. 📸@danielhpe #hunterdumpedushere #streetthieves #couragemylove #switchbladesaturdays #music #iowa #vaudevillemews #show #bandsofinstagram (at Vaudeville Mews)

[hunterdumpedushere]

http://hduh.storenvy.com/.../18842266-skull-crewneck-sweater

[hunterdumpedushere]

Friends! Family! Lovers!! Please be sure to check out http://ooshirts.com. That is where we have gone to get our cave-in, circle logo, and Angel shirts printed! They do great work with functional design and quote mechanisms built right into the site. Their costs are super low compared to other major shirt design sites, and they are great with communication. Go design some holiday shirts for yourself, or whatever you desire!

[amplifiedacoustics]

Hunter Dumped Us Here, Goes Here and There

by: Courtney Snodgrass

Local loud, Indie rock band, Hunter Dumped Us Here announced a major tour, “The Beautiful Voices Tour” to follow their debut, full length album, “I Understand.” The tour was announced on Oct. 21, 2016 and began on Nov. 4, 2016 in Des Moines, Iowa. “The Beautiful Voices Tour” will travel to nine different cities across the United States with stops in Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas and Missouri. “I Understand” is Hunter Dumped Us Here’s first full length album and features 13 songs about emotional pain and underlying struggles that people go through. The purpose of the tour reaches a more emotional level though as lead singer, Gabe Reasoner explains, “The deeper purpose is to let people know they are loved, created with purpose, and we all struggle. I wanted to help people understand their struggles more and know they aren’t alone.” The album was released on June 22, 2016 with the first single off the album “Lost My Name” coming out just two week prior. The tour was put together by the four bandmates when they decided a fall tour would highlight and emphasize their album after fans had a chance to listen to it over the summer. Throughout the process, the band sent out hundreds of emails, Facebook messages, and made several phone calls as well in order to complete the booking process. At the end, the band was able to put together eight consecutive days of shows where they’ll travel to six different states. Along with booking different shows, the band put in hours of creating flyers, finding other bands to play and promoting the tour to fans. Out of all the stops, Reasoner reports that his favorites will be Omaha and Texas, but notes the entire tour will be spent with some of his best friends, Jason Feight, Preston West, and Aslan Denbow, debuting an album that the four poured their hearts into. The band’s name, Hunter Dumped Us Here originated from an experience that lead singer, Reasoner had when he was younger. He and a friend stumbled upon a deer carcass in the woods that had been scattered about, stripped of meat and left there. Reasoner says that the band’s name “relates to leaving a legacy behind when you are gone. Those bones left a legacy that someone dumped them there.” Reasoner further explains, “I want it to be known that I loved people for who they were.” Through the tour, the band hopes to expand their fan base and create connections so that future tours will be more accessible. Reasoner believes that traveling and getting their music out to the public will help their band grow and spread their message to a wider audience. Hunter Dumped Us Here invites readers and potential fans to check out their Facebook page where links are provided for tour dates and additional information about their next steps as a band.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Sad

This is our last entry in the song-explanation series where I explain the meaning behind I Understand.  Thank you for taking the time to read any or all of these explanations, and I hope it helps you enjoy the music more.

Here is the link the the last song from the album: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/sad

Here is the link to stream or buy the full album: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/album/i-understand

As you know by now, I Understand is a concept. It’s an effort to help other people tell their stories through a more major platform than they may have otherwise told them. These are stories of struggles and stories of survival.

This concept isn’t groundbreaking or new. It is simply an attempt to give more depth to the writing, challenge me to write outside my comfort zone, and help others understand they aren’t alone.

Beautifully starts this album off. It is written about a time where I felt very overwhelmed from trying to fix all of my friends that had these problems.

I have gradually come to understand more and more than I can’t fix anyone. That is something between yourself and God, in my mind. I have worked in mental health and seen how common mental illness really is. I have accepted that I don’t have it together, more so than I have ever accepted it before. I not a guardian angel sent to fix as many people as I could, but rather a damaged human that can hopefully help point some other damaged humans in the right direction.

But the rest is up to them. I can’t and won’t do it for anyone. The rest is up to you. Be genuine, love others. Care for each other, and don’t feel like you need to hide your flaws and be “put-together.” Someone out there needs someone to talk to, and they don’t need someone with big fancy words who has the perfect life to talk to them, they need you.

We are all beautiful voices, and I understand that more now, the older I am.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Dive Into Pools of Transient Light

This is part 12 of a 13-part series where in each post I explain the meaning behind a track from I Understand. We are currently on tour right now in support of this album!

Here is the link to this post’s track: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/dive-into-pools-of-transient-light

Dive Into Pools of Transient Light  started off as a drum&bass demo. I’m talking the genre. So needless to say, it ended up a lot different than the original concept I came up with. I wrote the recorded version of it later in the writing process, and presented it to the guys. Despite being weird and jumpy with time signatures, they picked it up right away and grooved with it. I like how it sounds a lot better than that drum&bass version.

I won’t spend a lot of time on this one, because the meaning is very straightforward and easy to explain. This song is written for someone who lost a close friend to cancer. This process is terrible, and I can’t put into words how much I really do hate cancer. I’ve tried to do that adequately for years.

Can’t.

But my heart goes out to anyone who has lost someone to cancer, or who has stood by someone who has it, even if they have recovered. My heart goes out to you even more if you have survived it. I know multiple survivors/victors and they are the strongest people I know. Never give up; you are an inspiration.

I hope someday we find a cure for it. In the meantime, never lose hope. Hope and faith can do a lot for your body and soul.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Seasons

Well, it’s been awhile. We just kicked off our tour last night, and this is really the first time that I’ve had to commit to writing the rest of these. This is part 11 of a 13-part series where I explain the meaning behind each track from I Understand. I have decided I will finish these posts up so whoever wants to take the time to know the meaning behind the whole album can do so.

Here is the link to this post’s track: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/seasons-feat-alexandra-reasoner

This is one of our more “emo” songs I suppose. It’s slow, dense, and building. It was a lot of fun to record.

This song talks about growing up in a less-than-favorable environment. The person this song is based off of grew up in a home that was at times loving and other times toxic. There are a ton of good memories associated with their upbringing as well as bad, but there was an overall negative tone to their upbringing, and they were not treated fairly.

That house they were raised in brought so many future issues into the lives of those who lived there that still affect them today. I believe the subject of this song was emotionally and verbally abused and manipulated throughout most of their upbringing, and they were essentially forced out of their home before becoming an adult. They spent much of their high school years raising themselves because other circumstances prevented their parents from properly raising them.

Now when you grow up in an environment like that, I feel that there are not many clear choices, unless the situation is very extreme. Do you cut the people that raised you so poorly out of your life altogether? Do you never say anything or advocate yourself in the name of family etiquette? Or do you hold a firm stance and advocate that you are your own person, but still be loving and forgiving to those that affected you so much?

It may seem easy to look at it on paper or on a screen. “Oh, clear choice there. Forgive and move on.” But it’s harder when you’re face to face with all of the things you’ve been through, and you have to decide if it’s worth keeping someone in your life who is partially responsible for that.

This song is about forgiveness. The person this song is written for forgave those that brought them up in an unhealthy environment. They not only held a firm stance while struggling through many future interactions, but were also loving and forgiving. That might be more than I could do.

Moral of the story - forgive. Don’t hold on to hate, but don’t sit back and let someone walk all over you either. There’s a middle ground.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: The Worst Shepherd

This is part 10 of 13-part series where each week I explain the meaning behind a different track from I Understand.

Here is the link to this week’s track: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/the-worst-shepherd-feat-nick-booth-of-avoid

This is one of the most musically intense songs that HDUH has ever done, including my earlier work as a solo project. It ended up sounding huge, and my homie Nick Booth from avoid. did guest vocals on it. (They just released a sick new double song / video piece that I was lucky enough to be in - check it out at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrSu8ZKpSVM)

This song is written for a friend that was sexually abused at a young age. When I was younger I often thought of abuse only in stereotypical terms. Creepy van, guy asks kid for candy, that type of thing. That’s not what happened to my friend, however. They were abused by a close family friend in a setting where they should not have had to be concerned for their safety.

I knew of this story years ago, and out of all of the ones that were told to me, this one really hit hard. It made me angry. I have other friends that have been sexually abused by way of being coaxed or nagged by a friend that wanted them to do something they didn’t want to do. This usually continues for a long time before coming to an end, and usually has a lasting impact on the victim, as well as the guilty party.

My friend didn’t tell anyone for a long time, and eventually came forward and talked about it, years after the fact. This friend talked about seeing social media in the years following the incident from their abuser. They compared where they were out versus where there abuser was at in life, and decided that ultimately they won. Although the perpetrator never came to justice, their current state of living was at least a small piece of justice. 

Please, if something like this is happening to you or someone you know, tell someone and get help. It can end today.

This song is a declaration of victory over someone that abused you. If you have been a victim, take a look at your life versus theirs. Look at your accomplishments and see where they are at in contrast to that. You are not a failure. Most of all, do not blame yourself, and do not let them get away clean.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Fatal Sleep

This is part 9 of a 13-part series where I explain the deeper meaning behind each track from I Understand.

Here is the link to this week’s track: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/fatal-sleep

Preston and I wrote the skeleton of Fatal Sleep in my apartment in about 10 minutes. We later took it to Jason (I don’t remember where Aslan was - probably at the 17th annual Gathering of the Juggalos) and Jason hated it. It was like a Fleet Foxes song but 10x more boring. So we tweaked things, played through it over and over again, and came out with one of my favorite songs from the album. I feel like it has everything that one of our songs needs to have.

It even has what I like to call a Killswitch Engage time signature change. (4/4 to 6/8, they did it on almost every song they wrote for awhile.)

The song is about growing up, and how hard that is. I wrote it for a friend that has been through a lot throughout their life, most of it involving false friends.

Whether it was getting caught up in the wrong situations (such as vandalism) or struggling with wavering mental health, they have had to roll with many punches during the short time they have been on this earth so far.

This song is also about hitting a breaking point. Reaching the brink, so to speak. Considering - even attempting - suicide, and constantly being let down by those around you during the most vulnerable times of your life.

Ultimately, the subject of this song cut out the poisonous people from their life and moved forward. They are now more of a beautiful, awesome human being than ever before, and they are successful at what they do.

Haven’t we all had that friend that our parents didn’t like? Maybe for some of us it was for relatively innocent reasons - maybe they ate all your food when they came over to hang out.

But a lot of us had friends that pressured us to do things that we didn’t want to do, and I’m not talking in the good, motivational kind of way. I have other friends that this song is not about that almost had their entire lives ruined by the company they kept. They were scared to cut ties and let go.

Friendship is important. Cutting your poisonous “friends” from your life that seek to control you or gain something through you is just as important. It will make you happier, and it could shape - even save - your life.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Above the Treeline

This is part 8 of a 13-part series where I discuss the meaning behind each song from I Understand.

Here is the link to this week’s song - https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/above-the-treeline-feat-courtney-snodgrass

This post comes late as I was out of town for my two-year anniversary and didn’t have a chance to post. Oops!

Above the Treeline was born from Preston, Aslan and I jamming together to figure out the rest of the music for the album, much like Take the Island. I knew I wanted a song with a poem, and a chill post-rock feel to it. Preston and Aslan made things pretty with their dual guitar work while I filled in the gaps with the synth/bass and piano. Jason came up with a sick drum beat later on that reminds me of everything good in the world.

I knew that I had more stories told to me for this album than what would fit into the tracklist if I didn’t combine some of them, so I decided to turn 4 stories into a 4-part poem, each telling a different person’s story. Somewhere around a year before we wrote this song, I had discovered a local poet named Courtney Snodgrass that I felt would be the perfect person to have write the poetry, to give things a different spin that I would. After all, who wants to only hear my lyrics all the time?  I sent her my notes and what I had written so far, and she sent back 4 beautiful pieces. We edited and arranged them, and had her come in an record them in the studio after only trying it out at one practice.

Probably my favorite memory from recording this song is that after Courtney had just finished recording the poems the first time through, our drummer Jason started talking to her as she was back in the vocal booth about how much he liked the poem, also pitching to her a few ideas to try out on the second time through. This took a minute or more for him to explain, and after that we were just met with silence. We didn’t realize for about 30 seconds that she had headphones on and was listening back to the song, completely unaware of anything he had said to her. He summarized the second time around.

As I said, the song tells 4 separate stories through the poems. It is then summarized altogether at the end when my vocals come in.

The common denominator with all of these stories on this song is that they involve hospital stays/family illness. Three of the stories discuss visiting your mother in the hospital for various reasons, and one tells about losing an infant niece suddenly. I hate how many people don’t have mothers or fathers. I hate how many people watch their loved ones get sick or pass away. This topic strikes very close to home for me, and my heart goes out to anyone who has gone through this.

 “They call me a giant now, and I’m not ready to be one.” This part at the end references the feeling of being expected to be the strong one, and hold everything together when it is ready to fall apart. It isn’t easy to be strong when you are watching someone you care about go through immense pain. It isn’t always possible.

“Just one thing before you die - please realize you’ve changed my life.”

We can only do the best they we can, give what we have, and make sure we express how much our loved ones mean to us, and let them know how much they change our lives.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Take the Island

This is part 7 of a 13 part series where I discuss the meaning behind each song from our album I Understand.

Here is the link to this week’s song:

https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/take-the-island

Take the Island was one of the last songs that we wrote for the album musically. It was Aslan, Preston and I in a basement trying to figure out what the last few songs needed to sound like musically that really birthed the jam/groove feeling of this song.

I like it very much, because it starts off sounding completing different from the standard HDUH sound but by the end of the song comes around to a much more post-hardcore feel.

This song tells a two-part story of surviving hardship, from the perspective of the same person. The first part of the song is about being physically assaulted and how that not only affected them at the time, but for years to come. They were beaten in public and lived in fear for some time that they would come face to face with their attacker again.

The second part of the story tells of being diagnosed with a mental illness/disorder as an adult, and comprehending/handling that information. When you go your whole childhood life figuring out who you are, it shakes your world to find that there is and has been something “wrong” with you the whole time.

But what this person discovered and came to peace with is that there was never anything “wrong” with them. Having a name or a diagnosis didn’t change who they had been and are as a person. It just explained why they operate the way they do.

You are not your mental diagnosis. There are numerous people living their daily lives with undiagnosed mental illnesses. I would even go as far as to say that I don’t think anyone is 100% mentally healthy. That doesn’t change who you are, and it does not mean that you will not succeed or that your life will come to an end if you seek help.

I enjoy the person this song is written for just the way they are, and they are a stronger person for overcoming what they have and continuing to be successful despite a diagnosis.

The analogy of taking an island represents conquering your mind. No matter what you have been told or what you feel about yourself, you are a beautiful human being an you WILL succeed in some form if you overcome your fears.

I will do greater things.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Ornate and Carved

This is part 6 in a 13 part series where I explain the meaning behind each track from I Understand. This week we have Ornate and Carved.

Here is the link for this week’s track: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/ornate-and-carved

Ornate and Carved started off as a folky, acoustic singer-songwriter type song that I wrote really early on in the process of creating this album. I remember sitting in Oklahoma playing the song for family thinking about how it could be a much bigger song overall. Obviously it changed quite a bit since it’s conception.

In the studio we laid a lot of extra percussion and tracks down on top of the song we had already written. We definitely used a concert drum. The feel we went for for the end of the song was a chaotic circus-type feel. We got reviewed in Stencil Mag since the release and the reviewer of the album said that if felt circus-ey. Mission accomplished.

We got pretty experimental with this one and also used a bitcrusher on my voice for some of the song, and I’m very pleased with the atmosphere it created.

The song tackles the topic of self-harm and searching desperately for alternative coping methods to use when life gets heavy. The person who the story is based on was depressed and alone, dealing with outside stressors such as their parents’ strained relationship.

They turned to self-harm and pills as a way of coping with everything going on internally and externally in their life. I feel like so many people turn to self-harm in one way or another to cope with our problems. That’s not always manifested in cutting your body. It can manifest itself in excessive drug or alcohol abuse, food obsession, and verbal self-deprecation just to name a few.

This person ultimately found comfort through holding to their faith in God, and resolved to overcome their addiction to self-harm. They rose above the pain and succeeded. Never forget that there is a way out, and there is help for you if you need it. You can call 1-855-800-1239 in Iowa if you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself.

Thanks for reading, come back next week!

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Ready;Aim

This is part 5 of 13 in a weekly series where I (Gabe) explain the deeper meaning and backstory behind songs from our album I Understand.

Here is the link to stream this week’s track: https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/ready-aim

I am a little late with this one and I am writing this from Nashville, Tennessee, where we have been since Wednesday night. We have been playing shows and making connections, and we are heading to Marietta, GA tonight to play at Swayze’s. Looking forward to it!

Ready;Aim was another song that really took shape very early into the writing process. Preston and I played it in my apartment and figured out harmonies and contrasting vocal lines. It’s kind of intended to be along the lines of Cave-in, an older song of mine, that is a sing-along acoustic-based ballad.

Fun recording fact - we were under time constraints especially when recording vocals in order to get the album finished within our timeframe, and Preston had a required work training during the week of recording. So he had one afternoon to record all of his vocal parts for the album. He did great, but as he progressed through the day he voice began to wear from singing all the high-range harmonies that he does. There was a certain line where his voice kept cracking out so I was the pinch-hitter and essentially pretended to be Preston for a short harmony line on the chorus. Bet you never noticed!

I wrote this song for a long-time supporter and friend of HDUH. They have supported me since I started playing music as this project and had a very powerful story that they were willing to share.

My friend grew up, like many other people, without a good father figure in their life. Their relationship with their mother was very strained which left them feeling basically alone as they grew up. My friend fended for themselves much of their high school years for housing and other necessities.

This song is a summary of surviving blow after blow that life dealt to them, despite the state of things at home. So many of us take for granted that when things get bad in the world around us, we have steady hands at home to hold us up. My friend didn’t have that.

The most powerful thing about this song to me is that when I wrote it, my friend hadn’t had a relationship with their father’s other children. The line used to be “You know that I’ve got beautiful sisters, it’s a shame that I have never seen them for myself.”

My friend, being the loving and caring person that they are, organized a trip in between that time an when the song was recorded and saw their sisters. The finished lyric now reads: “you won’t show them love so I will do that for myself.” My friend went on to take the fresh start that they needed by moving away from their hometown, and I respect them so much for that.

Ready;Aim is about someone who never gives up despite terrible life circumstances, and they have proved that to be true time and time again.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: Lost My Name

Here is the fourth entry in the 13-part series where I (Gabe) explain the meaning behind each song on I Understand, in one post per week.

Here is the link to this post’s song:

https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/lost-my-name

This song was sonically written somewhat later in the writing process of I Understand. Within the first hour of working on it we knew that it would be the single. I had written the lyrics towards the beginning of the process of writing the album but they never fit with the music I had in mind, so we changed it up and it worked out quite well.

I wrote this song for a close friend as they went through the dissolution of their marriage. It was a time of confusion, frustration, and sadness for both parties involved.

This song makes an attempt to portray the frustration and longing to be forgiven for past mistakes that they felt during the situation, especially during the first year of the process. As my friend attempted to get their life back on track and wait for their partner to allow them back into their life, their partner seemingly used this situation as an excuse to do whatever they wanted. My friend watched as someone that they loved drift further and further away, despite the changes my friend was making.

I think just about every couple that gets married enters into those vows without truly understanding what “for better or worse” means. It’s so easy to promise being there for the “worse,” when things are currently “better.” All you can do is hope that the focus is where it needs to be, the base friendship is there, and that both sides are willing to stick with each other even when it doesn’t feel like a romance movie.

I respect my friend so much for the changes that they made in order to make themselves a better partner and resolve past addictions and issues. My heart hurts for them that their partner didn’t wish to make things right, and Lost My Name is a cry for restoration and a prayer that their loved one will one day overlook the sins and mistakes of the past and forgive them. There is not hatred in my friend’s heart for their former partner, just the hope for closure in the future.

Next week I will discuss track 5. I hope everyone’s week is great.

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - Explained: No Good Men

Here is the third entry in the 13-part series where I (Gabe) explain the meaning behind each song on I Understand, in one post per week.

Here is the link to this post’s song:

https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/no-good-men

This is where things start to get tricky with explaining the meaning behind songs. The last two entries have been about my own personal struggles. I will not use names of the people who inspired these next stories to protect their anonymity but I will still try to be detailed enough for the explanation to matter.

No Good Men holds a special place in my heart for a number of reasons. This was one of the earliest songs written for the album, originally with just Preston and I in my apartment with acoustic guitars. It was very much a folky song when it came into existence, which is very different from it’s final sound.

This song was also the first that we got back from the studio with a quick mix and master job done to it, as a way of testing what sonic direction we wanted to go. We heard it and got unbelievably stoked. It’s also one of my favorites to play live.

No Good Men is a direct, blunt look at the mistreatment of women in today’s culture. I do, however, feel that this song could apply to the treatment of any gender in an abusive relationship.

The song’s story was told to me by a friend who had been involved with a string of manipulative and abusive men over the years that only wanted physical satisfaction and the feeling of having control over something. These are the type of men that make my skin crawl. They give a bad name to men as a whole. They would pressure her to do things she didn’t want to do, degrade her, an just act inappropriate towards her in every way possible. 

The song discusses damaged pride, but not without a redemptive feel to it. The person that told me this story is a strong individual and was able to stand up for herself, initially in anger from the situation and continuously in her resolve to be treated better by people. This song is a survival story, because that person became strong and rejected those that were abusing her.

The moral of this song is that although women are often seen (incorrectly) as objects in today’s society and many have had horrible experiences with men, these experiences can be used to help others stay out of potentially dangerous situations.

Don’t ever be afraid to stand up for yourself and tell someone to let you go. I hope and pray that the number of people in abusive relationships will diminish as more people start to advocate for themselves in today’s society.

See you next week!

[hunterdumpedushere]

I Understand - explained: Cavendish

Here is the second entry in the 13-part series where I (Gabe) explain the meaning behind each song on I Understand, in one post per week.

Here is the link to this post’s song:

https://hunterdumpedushere.bandcamp.com/track/cavendish

This week’s post will make the most sense if you read last week’s explanation of Beautifully. That song ends with the lyric “there are too many voices for me to understand.” Cavendish picks up where Beautifully leaves off, and describes some of the various emotions I have dealt with over the last couple of years.

The song references a kind man that I met on tour in Summer of 2014 in a small, under-attended venue in Lake Villa, IL. Both my tour mate Nick and I felt the show was mostly unsuccessful and there was question as to whether or not it was even worth playing. Unfortunately, we and other artists that haven’t broken into the mainstream or built a huge fan base experience this all too often. 

Regardless of the awkward environment of the show, one individual told me how much my music meant to him. He actively engaged me and talked about what type of pipe tobacco he was smoking - vanilla cavendish. He bought all of my albums that I had out at the time. I never spoke to this man again, but his kindness and genuine appreciation for what I do has always stuck with me. At every show on the tour after that date - and at every show I’ve played since - I’ve held a personal belief that has kept me from giving up on music:

If one person is impacted by the words that I say and the melodies that I sing, then I feel I have accomplished something. Do I prefer a room full of people that are engaged and enjoying what I do? Of course. But do I recognize the importance of affecting even one person with what I do, even if no one else at a show cares? Absolutely.

The beginning portion of this song deals with the conflicting emotions I experienced while on and after my first tour. It discusses the attempt to balance music and relationships, and handling setbacks along the way. It references past lyrics that I have written in songs such as Cave-in, The Life and Death of an Oak Tree, and Ribcage. The spoken word is a chaotic snapshot of my life in the last two years, referencing topics such as burnout from working too much, dealing with the effects of cancer, and writing as a means of survival.

Overall this song is a mission statement. It clearly states that even if everyone ends up looking at me through a judgmental lens and considers me a failure, I cannot take the passion and drive to create art away. I can’t simply just “give up,” and I don’t plan to do so.

The song finishes on the topic of growing up inspired by music. Although I struggle to keep my head above water in a busy world where I am stretched every which way, I find comfort in my roots, my faith, my loved ones, and my craft. It is a plea that the people close to me never stop loving me, no matter what stage of life I am in, with a guarantee I won’t stop loving them either.