Azula snorted a short, mirthless laugh. She would hope he wanted to help her, otherwise, why else would he be here? He seemed to have no intent to turn on her, though perhaps his plan to betray her was preceded by him waiting, waiting for her to be truly vulnerable, waiting to see how strong she was with her Avatar powers, waiting for a moment to strike.
She had nothing but her paranoia to defend her now, that and her instincts which were shot to hell because if she couldn’t trust her father, couldn’t trust herself, then what good were they? She knew nothing, nothing of the world outside of the Fire Nation, nothing of being the Avatar, nothing of how she came to gain this power, she didn’t even know herself well enough to know what power she held. So she would cling to her paranoia, regard everyone, even her brother and uncle, with fear and cautiousness, because if she couldn’t trust even herself, who could she trust?
It took a long while for her to reply. She knew what Ozai would do to her, she had an inkling of an idea of the cruelty he was capable of. He wouldn’t kill her, she knew that too, because finding another Avatar would be too much of a hassle, but he would make her life hell, especially because she ran.
“If that’s what you want.” Zuko said. She did want to sleep, exhaustion replaced adrenaline but she was too wired to sleep, too scared that she might get jumped in her sleep, or their ship would be found, or maybe that Zuko wanted her asleep so he could whisk her off to the Fire Nation, back home, back to father.
What she wanted was to be normal, and she almost said that out loud. But she didn’t. She said something else instead, posed a question that had lingered on her mind ever since their earlier escape. “Why did you come with me?” She asked. “Why throw away your chance with father, your chance at honor, to come with me? I know you don’t like me, and the feeling is mutual, and I cannot figure out why you would do something so stupid.”
azula always lies. he used to chant to himself as a child, even she broke the news about their mother. even when he came back and saw her running away. it was an impulsive decision to follow her and help her blindly, a decision fuelled by affection held towards his sister that zuko didn’t know he still had. their relationship has always been broken and unstable, ever since they were young children. and yet zuko found it within himself to be kind to her when she did not lie.
“ i don’t know, ” he begins honestly, forehead still pressed against the door. “ i guess... you looked human for the very first time, ” he cannot forget the look of desperation in her face when she’d told him why she was running away. zuko’s heart raced inside his chest when he turned on his heel and led her to the docks, the mask of the dark spirit hiding him. he knew why their uncle had joined: iroh always wanted the safety of his nephew and niece, no matter how deranged or how bad they were. “ i didn’t want you to become like me. ”
he swallows drily and his fist clenches tightly. “ being at father’s mercy is barely any mercy at all. ” after all, he had tasted it first hand. showing defiance or individualism was a crime in the fire lord’s eyes, one that could be punishable by death should he be caught in a bad mood.
“ if i won my honour, you would’ve lost yours. in his eyes, at least. ” zuko sighs deeply. “ i’ve learnt that you gain your honour through your deeds and choices, not through someone’s agreement on whether you have it or not. even if we don’t like each other, i wouldn’t let anyone suffer at the father lord’s hand again. ”
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