I had to euthanize Prissy on Thursday and I've been an absolute mess. I came home from work Wednesday and she couldn't hold herself up or walk. The day before she was just fine, playing, doing tricks for treats, cuddling, etc. We did some blood work and my vet called the next morning telling me to take her to the emergency vet in Indy (90 minutes away). Prissy was doing better, she could stand now but couldn't walk very far. They did an ultrasound and she had a large tumor surrounding her heart, kidneys and liver. She didn't have enough blood in her body because the heart couldn't fully expand. They said there was a 95% chance it was the same cancer as last time. They also said she has been suffering but hiding it well because she's just so strong and a fighter. There was nothing that could be done. My baby, on the last two days of her life, was not really there. She wasn't noticing or reacting to anything. I held her during the euthanasia and it took only 2 seconds for her to pass, the medicine wasn't even all in her yet. They told me that's how you know she was going to be passing soon. Ive never lost a pet before and I feel like I'm suffocating. I’m not sure how I'll ever move on.
I’m going to need some time to grieve, I can’t even be downstairs in my house right now without breaking down, there are just too many memories. For this reason I’m going on another temporary hiatus. When I’m back I have plenty to post but I just can’t function right now. I’m completely devastated. Fuck 2020, let’s pray for 2021.