EXPLAINED: "20 jokes that only intellectuals will understand
So I found this image pretty funny - but did not get #13 at all myself, so I asked to get it explained on Facebook and my friend Donnie (@donniesclygonis) said "Actually you should ask to have them all explained, I think most people that have reposted this have no idea on why some of them are supposed to be funny"
So I thought I would! Some of the explanations below lack detail, maybe you have a better one. Maybe I got it all wrong? ;-) I'll update the post instantly if you have a better explanation!
1. Kleptomaniacs takes/steals things, they have a psychical disease so they can not refrain from the urge to take things - for no reason. The funny part in the joke is that “They TAKE THINGS ‘literally’, because they do: Take things.
2. The joke is that the actual joke is a rhetorical question. A rhetorical question is a figure of speech in the form if a question, that’s asked in order to make a point.
3. In logic, the question is if “ALL of them wants a drink”, the first person wants a drink, but does not know what the others want, thus the answer “I don’t know”. The second also wants something, and knows the first one wants one as well, but does not know what the third person wants, thus the answer “I don’t know”. The third person also wants something to drink, and because the first and second person did not answer no, the answer has to be “Yes!”. So it’s a logical joke, where the last one answered for all of them, even though all of them wanted one.
4. This one is tricky, and you have to understand what a “Pascal” (unit) is.
Basically 1 Pascal = 1 Newton per Square meter. So, when Newton draws a square meter and stands inside it it equals 1 Pascal. So Newton tells Einstein he found Pascal, not Newton!
5. A mathematician would see instantly that he’d never reach the goal - it’s impossible as he’d only go half the distance every time. Half of: |||| Is: || Half of: || Is: | Half of: | Is: ½ Half of: ½ Is: ¼
You could go on like that forever. But the programmer on the other hand, looks at the problem with a practical view, and very soon he’ll be close enough to touch the girl, and it does not matter if he’ll reaches here fully :-)
6. In latin, “MartinUS” is a singular, while MartinI is plural - the funny part is that the Roman uses the the singular form of the drink “Martini”, as he says the word MartinUS.
7. The Roman numerial sign for 5 is V, the Roman that walks into the bar does the “peace sign”, when he asks for 5 beers, which is funny, because it’s two fingers and that would mean 2 beers :-)
8. The logician understands the question from the wife: “So, IS IT a boy or a girl” instead of: “So, is it a boy OR a girl” which the wife meant. “Boy OR girl: Yes.” - The wife should have asked, “Which one is it, a boy OR a girl” to get an answer from his husband :-)
9. Jean-Paul Sartre was a french philosopher and the funny part is that he believes that an absence of something is still something.
10. Basically Entropy is “irreversibility”, so it can never be the same. The funny part is that you often say “… isn’t what it used to be.”, but Entropy makes it impossible.
11. From Business insider:
It's funny because: A more labor-conscious plumber would pronounce the word as "yoon-yun-ized." A chemist would probably say "un-eye-on-ized."
It's on this list because: What other joke can simultaneously address the removal of charged particles from an atom as well as the organization of workers trying to achieve shared goals?
12. This one is hard and requires math knowledge - even explained it’ll never be funny to a person that does not get it from the beginning.
Basically OCT(31) == DEC(25). OCTAL 31 = DECIMAL 25, that’s why engineers mistake halloween for christmas. More reading.
13. From my good friend Justin: Ths is a reference to the individuals and their philosophies, Chomsky is always challenging how things are told / news is reported. Gödel's incompleteness theorem and Heisenburgs uncertainty principle.
14. From reddit user “YourJokeExplained”: Ivan Pavlov is a scientist that conditioned his dog to whenever he rang a bell he would feed it. Eventually the dog caught on, and it knew that when the bell rang, it would be fed. Pavlov was "conditioned" to hearing the bell ring. When he heard the bell, it reminded him of his experiment feeding the dog, and he remembered he hadn't fed it.
15. Helium (He) is a gas, a Noble gas. Noble gases have very low reactivity to other atoms, it does not bind with others - no Reactivity. So the joke is when anyone refused to be served would react, Helium does not.
16. Schrödingers cat is referred to as a thought experiment - where two occurrences can be true at the same time. The cat IS in the bar and IS NOT in the bar at the same time. It’s funny because it’s using the common bar-jokes and quickly interrupts the joke with the phrase “And doesn’t”
17. Buddhist monks strive to become one with the universe. “Make me one with everything” is thus the Buddhist dream and goal. Part of the buddhist ideal.
18. The Higgs Boson particle is very controversial in the church, and is often refereed to as the “God Particle” - the Higgs Boson particles is said to explain why some fundamental particles has a “Mass”.
The joke is that the Higgs Boson asks the Church how they could have a “mass” (referring to the church mass).
19. This is a programmers joke, and refers to an if-statement where the code would read: 1. GO TO STORE 2. PICK UP 1 LOAF OF BREAD 3. IF STORE HAS EGGS, GET A DOZEN LOAFS OF BREAD
The joke is that the programmer reads the last sentence as a condition for the first, instead of “get 12 eggs if they have eggs”
20. I gig (gigabyte) is 1024MB, as the band is called 1023MB they have not reached 1 Gig, and therefore has no “gigs” yet.