That night, Elena dreamt of her ex. She didn't know why and didn't know how it even seeped through her consciousness because she kept the memory so buried. But here she was, deep in her slumber caused mainly by the intense alcohol she'd consumed. It had been a rough day of flying, and after a near crashing into the ocean and fearing for her life, she supposed it wasn't a surprise that she was dreaming of a past comfort memory. She went home that night to drink herself stupid, ending up passing out on the couch. And that's when the dream began.
It was a few years prior, and she only remembered because she had just escaped rehab. Seeking refuge in her beat up Jeep, she didn't expect to find love in the city that never sleeps. But she did. Their first date was dinner illuminated by a single candle on the table in Upstate New York during the fall. The leaves were starting to lose their lush green color and turning auburn and gold. Zade had said the color reminded him of her skin and how it glowed in the moonlight. She remembered blushing, even though it was the corniest thing she'd ever heard. Their first night had been a bunch of butterflies, laughter and the growing sense that their lives would never be the same since meeting the other.
The second date, Elena had remembered Zade's story about his childhood dream of traveling to outer space. He spoke of galaxies and super novas and planets we had yet to even discover. Elena had admired the way his eyes lit up and the fact that he had the smallest dimple in his cheek when he truly smiled. Out of pure instinct, she had reached up to touch it, only for him to turn that charming smile onto her. She had set up a telescope on Todt Hill, one of the highest elevations in New York, so they could watch a comet shower in real time. She'd packed a picnic with everyone's favorites and sparkling cider only because she knew they wouldn't be able to hike back down while drunk. It was there, under the night sky with barely a view of the stars with the city shining so bright, did they share a first kiss.
The weeks that followed were a blur of stolen kisses, messy schedules and Elena's embarrassment over a missing shoe. And trying to juggle a romantic life with platonic ones with her work life was proving more difficult than she had planned. Elena was accustomed to high stress situations. But usually only when it involved anyone but not her. She didn't share well and although Elena was extremely busy herself, she knew she demanded a lot of attention. So, one of the last things she remembers of Zade is their massive fight about Elena accusing him of neglecting her. She was always taught that to save yourself the heartache, leave someone before they leave you. And that's exactly what she did. Now nearing the end of 2022 and Elena's heart still wonders what her life could've been like had she not said goodbye to the one person who understood her.