give me golden apples

cris\25+\gay burger queen

[callisteios]

would you like to find out which tragic greek lady you are most like?

[ches-nogat]

When I played stardew valley sometimes I would just go into the bed of a couple if i was friends with them and push one of them out of the way and "sleep" (read: stand in their bed until i passed out) there. It wasn't because I couldn't make it to my house or anything it was just for the love of the game . The first time was an experiment but I was so lonely or something that I just kept doing it. Sometimes I would wait in this couples bed since 11pm

[natalieironside]

Mad At You Island is where the events of William Shakespeare's The Tempest take place

[shittysawtraps]

first shitty saw trap in 1312 years

.

[guribot]

today our zoo had an annual 21+ day where there's beer n wine stands and no kids and it turns out when you remove the families from a zoo everyone left is lesbians

[alientitty]

💀

[spazzbot]

I don’t say this often, but you really should unmute and listen to the song



[wheeloffortune-design]

my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!

me: yeah, i posted on tumblr

publisher: .........tumblr?

me: that's where the gays are.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update

publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?

me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?

publisher: .....and it works?

me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.

publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?

me: .......absolutely not.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update!

publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?

me: NO

publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-

me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.

publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.

me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.

(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update with picture of a pet!

This is Cosmos, my publisher's dog.

He barks at my publisher's phone notifications. So every time a book is sold, Cosmos barks.

It's been days.

I think you guys would love to know that when you buy a book, a dog barks in Vancouver, Canada.

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a story where women help women bury the body of your abusive husband.)

[n3bulas-and-satelites]

@thebibliosphere @pangur-and-grim

[thebibliosphere]

Well, that’s one book waiting for me when I get back home! Also, please tell your publisher Cosmos is the goodest dog 💖

[yallstar]

SCREAMING my mom just called out of the blue to be like "hey have you ever read fahrenheit 451?? it's so good!!" and i was surprised she hadn't read it before but we chatted a little about the book and then at one point she goes "yeah i just never got around to it bc i didn't really like star trek" which of course had me going "huh?" followed quickly by "mom. mom do you think gene roddenberry wrote farenheit 451 or that ray bradbury created star trek." and after a veeeeery long silence she says, ".....this would explain some of the tonal differences"

[apollos-boyfriend]

i hope people know that the “sad tomato cat” meme is a series of images that have a happy ending…… she is cared for and loved!!!!

[apollos-boyfriend]

to be loved is to be changed………

[hydrotropicgirl]

I always think buckleys cant taste as bad as they say until i have a spoonful and see the devil

[lspark]

[lokaror]

GOUGAR CLAIMS COOL ROCK

[ubersaur]

God forbid women do anything

[justpastsaturn]

She had a good time, too

[weepingwidar]

Mark Krzepis (Canadian, 2001) - Toronto Love Line 1/2/3 (2025-2026)

[cecilias-cool-stuff]

Never stop hating

[sexybritishllama]

just finished this month's book club book, went skimming goodreads reviews afterwards as you do, got my breath taken away by this absolutely brutal ending to one of the multi-paragraph 1 star reviews

[sailatina3]

Oh? So you've discovered my secret... That I turn girls into helpless little plush dolls! And now that you know the truth... I'll have to add you to my collection!

[night-the-starfish]

Disable your ad blocker? For him?, gouache on paper.