ahn ☆

idk why im here

[hyeongari]

Weekly Journal 3

Untold Feelings

Sometimes, the only way to make a space for myself to be happy by letting myself to be who i am today. I've always known as happy pills or the sunshine in my class who makes silly jokes that made everyone laugh. I will always listen to my friends and be there for them since i want them to be heard by someone yet i am the one that always end up feeling the loneliest when i am at my lowest. To be honest, i do really enjoy seeing others happy since i am believing that sometimes people are struggling silently, maybe our act of kindness can make their day better but deep down i have no idea how to help myself.

As time goes by, i have always learn to keep my feelings to myself since i was a child as i have no one to share my feelings with. I lost my mom when i was just 9 and it was hard for me to keep up with life as someone with heavy attachment issues. At heart, my inner child still wants to be genuinely loved by someone but the world was cruel to me so that i was forced to grow up. After all, i will never stop myself from praying to Allah to cure my feelings and i hope someday i will get to keep up with life and be successful.

[hyeongari]

my only craving in life is to be loved the way i love

[hyeongari]

when god says there's one more person you need forgive and he brings out a mirror

[hyeongari]

Weekly Journal 2

Corpse Bride by Tim Burton

Corpse Bride is an animated fairy movie that was published on 2005 directed by Tim Burton. The story tells about a man named Victor who ran nervously away from his wedding and accidently marrying a dead bride Emily while rehearsing his vows. This movie is one of my favourite movie since i can relate myself to Emily so much where i can see myself sitting in her shoes feeling the same way as her.

She was once live as a girl that full of hope and dreams to experience to be in love but she was murdered and betrayed by her own fiancé leaving her alone in the deep dark woods with unresolved feelings. Her longing to experience love life again heart wrenching me because even though she found victor doesn't mean that he's the one for her as she ultimately realized that she doesn't belong in the living world and thinks that he deserves to be with someone better than her. In that case, with open arms despite her pains, she choose to let go of Victor and her only chance of experiencing true love.

The mix tragedy, sacrifice and unfulfilled love gives me the emotional weight as she's just a woman who craves to be genuinely loved by someone. Love sometimes letting go and sacrificing your own feelings desire for someone else for the sake of peace. After all, she was just a girl who wanted to be loved but as corny as it sounds it's actually true for some people. I hope that life and time will be kind to us and wish nothing but the best for us.

[hyeongari]

Weekly journey 1

My First Day Experience In College

As for today, i wanna talk about about my first day experience in college. Stepping out from the bus with mixed feelings trying to blends in with the new environment. As i entered the hall i could see all the students buzzled around the hall. i took a quick sight and found myself a seat, hoping that i could blends in or maybe get to make a new contact.

After a few minutes, our lecturer came in, introduced herself as our Arabic lecturer and shared her passion in this subject. We were also encouraged to share about ourselves to others so that we get to know each other better. As the times goes by thankfully I get to know a few of wonderful friends here. It made me realized that i was part of healthy environment.

As the class progressed, I can feel the excitement and sparks during the lesson. I found myself enjoying jotting down the notes eager to absorb all the lesson. By end of the class, I packed my stuffs and walk back home with my new friend group. I could feel the excitement to embrace myself in this journey ahead. I hope that i am strong enough to face this journey till the end.