I Hate You Osomatsu

I hate them and wish to never see them again. My account is 18+ Inbox: open

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

Hey so, the matsunos are selling feet pics.

I mean, I fucking guess.

My friends next to me and she's so sick of my shit. She literally slapped my phone out of my hands when I showed her.

Guess im buying karamatsu feet pics.

#spread them toes

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

No one asked for this, no one wanted this. Literally no one gives a shit about this but me. I have autism and slime rancher has been my comfort games since I was in middle school so im writing about what slimes I think the boys would have

Osomatsu san x slime rancher

Osomatsu

Okay so, like everyone on the list there's an obvious slime and an actual slime that represents them. Ik the obvious slime would be a pink slime, since they're both the default. But, hear me out, I feel like he'd be lucky slime

I feel like they're both kinda aloof and both are kinda plain. Plus the lucky cat is perfect since its like a gamble if you can give it a hen hen in time. So I think osomatsu would be a lucky slime. Plus the fact that osomatsu made it to 24 w/ out dying or getting thrown onto the streets is pretty lucky.

I think he could cultivate a lot of pink largos mixed with whatever other slime he can find that isn't hard to take care of. He's too lazy to find all their food and jusybfeeds them whatever food he finds.

Karamatsu

Okay, again, easy answer is a rock or even crystal slime but the mosaic slime is more him. He'd probably be super into the dangerous yet alluring nature of the slime, plus they're literally shimmering.

Karamatsu would want to look dazzling and alluring even if it can be painful for others. He just cannot let go of his sparkle, and he'd probably be so poetic about the random bursts of flames.

Hed cultivate all the pretty but deadly slimes, like rock, crystal, rad, mosiac, boom, and fire. Hes constantly getting beat up but he thinks its so worth it.

Choromatsu

Of course the obvious answer is rad or tangle, or even the phosphor slime, but i think he'd be a saber slime, idk, i think its the mouth.

There's no other reason tbh, maybe if it wasnt that then id say a boom slime?? They both have dumb faces and sometimes get so pent up they explode(not sexually) but I still say saber slime

I think choro would mainly have easy going slimes, like the yolk slime or the water slime. Something practical but valuable.

Ichimatsu

Easy answer is tabby, saber, or hunter. I think though, and hear me out, he'd be a puddle slime. Shy and cannot be around other slimes least he gets constipation. Well, ig its kinda the opposite for him.

Idk, I just think the idea is cute. Hes a gloomy little puddle slime who floats around all day and gets blushy and shy when you come near him.

He does have like literally every cat like slime on his island, and only cat like slimes.

Jyushimatsu

Ooo, this one's fun. I feel like hes either a quantum slime or a quicksilver. Both make sense but I feel like quantum slimes because they both have that same happy face.

I could see jyushi being a quicksilver too, feeding off of electricity, zipping around literally none stop. He'd either be one or have them, plus i feel like he could bat the energy bolts.

Othwr then that i feel like he doesn't rlly ranch, he hunts for the slimes he needs then releases them. So he doesn't have one particular slime.

Todomatsu

Ik he should be a mosaic since they're so sparkly and pretty, but i feel like he could be the ring tail slime. They're both so cute and mischievous it jusy makes sense!

I could totally see him eating one of your other slimes food then using his cute face to get away with it. He probably sticks his tongue out and uses his puppy dog eyes.

He'd have whatever slime looks best on social media. Often taking photos and showing off his trendy slimes, he does have a soft spot for honey slimes surprisingly. Often mixing them with other slimes.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

Sometimes randomly ichimatsu will be sitting and suddenly a memory will pop up in his head from high-school. Its something he did or said that he still deeply regrets and has no idea why he did it and wishes he could go back and fix it. It happens a lot when he's alone and doing something mundane and he'll see something like a soda can and remember how he accidentally hit one of his friends over a soda and he couldn't apologize enough and still felt guilty for.

He feels like he both pushed everyone away and everyone abandoned him cause just broken. It gives him whiplash sometimes and he has no idea how to cope. Sometimes he ghosts his current friends and even his siblings cause he cannot imagine anyone being so nice to him. Like they must be playing a cruel joke on him. Ichimatsu just knows theres something rotten within him and can never be forgiven.

In a perfect world I'd like to say he eventually learned how to deal with it, but idk if he can. Id like to think he does, at least I like to think he learns to cope with his issues. Jyushimatsu actually helps a lot, ichimatsu will sit and just kinda curl up with jyushimatsu when hes feeling anxious, its the only way he knows how go calm himself down if not for violent outbursts.

Idk, im gonna give him more issues cause I also don't know how to cope and I don't have a jyushi to lean on.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

I could only imagine how awful a road trip w/ the six of them would be. First of all you'd need a minivan. If not you have to exil two of them.

Road trip w/ the matsunos

None of them have a license. Honestly in Japan they never had a real reason to get one. None of them have jobs, everything is is walking distance, the closest anyone's gotten to a vehicle is karamatsu so you drive!

You, choromatsu, and todomatsu plan the trip for the most part. Todomatsu looks into cool places to stop and choromatsu and you budget and schedule stuff. It's surprisingly efficient but you guys will have the rest of them nagging you about random shit.

Like osomatsu wants to go to a place that's like the opposite way of where you are going. Karamatsu keeps asking you dumb questions about what he should pack, ichimatsus trying to sneak cats into the luggage, and jyushi's literally just trying to lick you.

Other then that its great!

The seating arrangement gets very dicey. Everyone wants to sit shotgun, everyone wants to be your passenger princess. They literally duke it out til you remind them that it kinda has to be todomatsu since hes the navigator.

Other then that its probably osomatsu and choromatsu in the front two seats, then ichimatsu, karamatsu, and jyushimatsu in the back with jyushi in the middle. You better pray choromatsu sits behind you cause osomatsu likes to kick the seats for fun. Plus choro has the snacks.

Once you finally leave its kinda hyper at first, everyone's super excited and it gets loud very quickly. A fight may break out in the back and you have to stop the car 6 times for random shit before you actually get out of town.

Osomatsu asks for McDonald's and you have to remind him you brought snacks, had breakfast, and the closest town is an hour and a half away. Then jyushimatsu will ask you if you can drive faster cause he also wants mcdonalds

Todomatsu is also in changed of music since hes literally the only one besides you that has a phone. He does not take any but requests unless its you and he likes the song.

Someone forgot their something. It was probably choromatsu, he probably forgot a really important bag an hour into the trip so now he has to thug is out w/ no toiletries and daily routine stuff.

Car games are fun with them! It's a lot of fun cause you don't even have to participate, theres so many you get to focus on the road and listen to them fight and argue. Usually its osomatsu trying to cheat, claiming to see a state plate he didn't actually see.

You pull over like twenty times so the boys can go pee, usually its on the side of the road since they do not stop complaining once they realize they need to go.

Ichimatsu is the first to fall asleep and complains if you don't drive perfectly. Cursing every time hes woken up. Todomatsu also falls asleep so you have to wake him up or take his phone and have someone else navigate.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

I rlly like watching videos and clips fanmade or not of the brothers being friends and siblings. It makes me rlly happy to just see them getting along and enjoying each other's company. It warms my cold cold heart to see my funny little men being family.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

I rlly like watching videos and clips fanmade or not of the brothers being friends and siblings. It makes me rlly happy to just see them getting along and enjoying each other's company. It warms my cold cold heart to see my funny little men being family.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

Okay this is what I fuckin mean. It's fuckin midnight and I can't find any good headcanons and fanfic to put myself to sleep. This is what im talking about, all this shits either from 2016 and has that humor or I've already read it.

Taking the boys to the mall

Osomatsu

Has no fuckin idea how to act inside the mall, hes such a fuckin hooligan sometimes. He talks way too loud, he never watches where hes going so hes bumping into ppl, and hes like standing in the middle of the walk way to check something. It stressed you tf out.

He will literally want something from every store you go to, usually its small like cool socks or a snack but hes constantly asking you for shit. It's like a little toddler who doesn't understand you aren't made of infinite money. If you tell him no he pouts for a little bit then goes back to being happy.

Loves going to spencers, that's always the first place he wants to go to. Literally begs you to go every time and just giggles at all the dicks and tits. You two were probably kicked out at some point cause he was playing with the dick stuff

Also loves the food court, this fat ass just wants to eat. Like, literally everything, he loves whatever you two get and will try yours, but he makes you try his.

I think the sweetest thing he'll do is carry your bags and find stuff that remind him of you. It's usually pretty jewelery that's gold and has a lot of gems cause he'll tell you remind him of a prince(ess).

Karamatsu

Lowkey wants to be one of those cool mall kids when he was younger. I always feel like karamatsu has an appreciation for different cultures more than ichimatsu. Ik ichi is suppose to be the Gothic one but I feel like kara would have an easier time actually getting into it.

Honestly I think he would be a little scared of Spencer's and hottopic at first. It's not something hes use to. He thought it was gonna be rlly hard-core and like almost demonic. When he went in there though it was just, chill.

Holds your hand the entire time, like the entire time. It's like you two are in a storm and holding onto each other for dear life. Hes scared that if he looks away you'll disappear.

Loves dressing you up. I'm a bigger person(im fat as fuck ngl) so I just like the idea of karamatsu dressing you up and treating you like a doll. It's just nice to feel beautiful and loved. Especially for your body.

Loves getting a cinnamon roll to share. You two will sit and feed each other while giggling, also get into some rlly deep conversations.

Choromatsu

He has a whole list you two need to follow. He wants to check out every store then sit down for food. It's very neatly organized and very neetly done! He even has a map of the mall already down.

Wants to check every anime related store and every store that had some kind of anime asthetic even shit like miniso for their one piece stuff. It's amazing how hes able to track down every single store that has some kind of interest he has.

Also holds your hand to keep you from wandering off. That man is on a mission a mission he will complete.

He also loves the random shit they have in between. If theres paintings on the walls he wants to get your photo with it. I feel like hes the type that takes a lot of good photos of other people

Also keeps you on a budget. You two are only there for essentials. Maybe a few nice things but refuses to let you overspend your hard earned money.

Ichimatsu

The only reason he agreed to go was because you didn't wanna go alone and offered to buy him a pretzel and take him to petco. He hates the mall and hates everything surrounding it.

He mainly just stands right behind you and guards you. You notice quickly just how less crowded it feels around you and that's because ichi's aura is so haunting that it makes people naturally avoid your guys' shared bubble.

He likes grabbing cat related items and if you have an animal you identify with he'll put them together and show you. Like a cat and another animal. Looks so proud while doing it.

Loves hot topic and spencers. If you're not already, he wishes to dress you more emo or goth. He thinks it would be fun to see you all gloomy and sad like him, especially since he knows just how joyful you really are.

Needs to take frequent breaks. He hates crowds and hates all the noise. Plus if anyone tries to talk to you guys he kinda just stands behind you and shoves his entire face into your head. Sniffing your scalp.

Jyushimatsu

Another fucking man who cannot act right. This time even worse cause now this one will run away to go into kids play area. It's like dealing with a toddler on coke.

Literally carries all your shit with a happy smile. He'll carry anything you give him, your bags, your purse/backpack, your wallet, your phone, you.

He cannot stay in one store for too long. The moment he gets bored hes dragging you to something more exciting. Like an exhibit or new store.

He loves going to the furniture stores ngl. He likes to pretend you two are buying your first house and he gets to test your guy's new furniture. You have to be careful cause he'll start jumping on a bed and just break it.

Todomatsu

LOVES THE MALL!! literally his bread and butter. Wants to spend the entire day with you just browsing shit and looking for new stuff. He doesn't even wanna buy anything just wants to see and experience.

He spends hours picking clothes out for you. He gets really into fashion and always wants to experiment. The problem is he has a set asthetic he cannot change. So you become he new testing dummy!

Loves people watching lowkey. You two will sit in the food court and just spend hours just talking about the different characters. You two have gotten in trouble a few times cause he couldn't control his volume.

Takes so many pictures. Especially of any outfits you try on. He likes rubbing it in people's faces with how much hes in love and how awesome his life is. Especially how awesome his partner is.

Loves bath and bodywork. He could spend hours just sniffing candles and perfumes lowkey. Sometimes it gives him a headache but he just cannot help it. Also loves perfume counters.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

Sometimes I imagine dragging ichimatsu around w/ me when im out and about all on my lonesome. He just walks behind me like a shinegami or like a demon warding the evil away from me. Then I turn around and he just gives me a smile then when I turn around he goes back to his evil aura.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

God, I hate my mortal body. Had a great time w/ my friends at the movies. Now im convinced everyone hates me.

The boys w/ periods

Osomatsu

He thinks its so gross, sorry. You mention it once and he gags and asks you to never talk about it again. Then you remind him that this is gonna happen at least once every 28 days or so. So he needs to suck it up or break it up. He chooses to suck it up(not literally)

Has no idea how to deal w/ it. He suggests some dumb stuff like drinking or even smoking even if you don't do either. He thinks that if you numb the pain it'll help.

Eventually he slowly begins to figure it out. Offering you sweets and cookies, being all sweet to you, especially if youre under the trans umbrella. It can be hard when your body is actively fighting against you.

Is still kinda bad at comforting you. All he really knows is how to comfort his brothers. So he sits you in his lap and you two play two player video games in a pillow fort. He'll make bad jokes and rage at the game cause he knows you find it funny.

Will go to the store to buy you pads. Kinda shameless when he gets over his fear of menstrual blood. He will call you middle of the isle and loudly ask "hey baby, what pussy size you need today?"

Karamatsu

Omfg hes so dramatic, hes punching the air, hes kicking his feet. He's like "DAMMIT, why them, it should have been me! Take me instead you foul beast!" *rips shirt off*. It's do funny you forget that youre in so much pain.

He does ask his mom for advice though, she helps him out. She actually comes over and takes care of you, mama-matsu treats you like her child, but better since you manage to get one of her shit head children out of her house.(maybe the rest too if you'd he so willing).

After that though hes actually a great help, he'll literally wait on you hand and foot. He runs to the store to buy ice cream, he reheats your pads, literally anything you need he will go above and beyond.

Also great for cuddles, he can shut up when commanded. Just knowing hes being useful is enough. Also really great at dealing with you rapid mood swings. You could be laughing, crying, then angry and he'd be smiling through all of it. May cry if you cry though.

If your transgender, especially a Trans man, he uses like, rlly cringe gender affirmative words to refer to your stuff?? He calls your sanitary shit like battle gear, and your heating pad your fuckin blood warmer idk. Just dumb shit that makes you laugh cause wtf hes always doing too much??

Choromatsu

Hes a little grossed out, but hes actually done the most research. He figured he'd have a girlfriend and usually they have periods. Maybe it didn't work out exactly as planned but youre happy hes at least competent.

Gets really blushy when you mention it the first time and kinda freaks out. It just feels so intimate and he freaks out over saying the wrong thing. You have to give him some time to reboot.

Eventually does get the hang of it and sometimes he gets flustered when you mention it, he just nods and asks if you need anything.

Kinda makes a whole schedule for you, he read a lot of things and makes a whole list of things you need to do. Including exercise and foods you should eat. He of course gives you sweets, you have to nourish the mind AND the body. Kinda treats you like you have an illness, just without the chance he'll catch it.

He gets very nervous when buying sanitary products. He treats it like hes buying a dildo or something. His head is on a swivel and has no idea what cashier to go to. He's socially awkward leave him be.

Ichimatsu

He has no idea what hes doing and terrified. Doesnt know what's happening, feels like he needs to ask, he doesn't ask. Please be patient with him he just wants to do his best.

Honestly you kinda need to tell him if you need help. He doesn't wanna patronize you and treat you like a helpless baby but if that's what you need hes fine with it! You just gotta tell him or he won't be able to help.

Surprisingly tender and sweet when you get emotional or worked up. He pulls you in his arms and bushes you gently and let's you talk it out. He'll turn off the lights and you two just lay together sweetly.

Also very protect of you if you wanna be babied, he sees youre really sensitive and so his dark aura gets really intense. You watch people literally run from you two as you walk by. Then you look at ichimatsu and hes blushing at you shyly.

Likes using cats instead of heating pads. He'll find the fattest, warmest, and chillest cat he can find and bring it home. Then without warning he shoves it under your shirt and you just pray it's not gonna kill you.

If you ask him he will give you head WHO SAID THAT?!?!?!

Jyushimatsu

Oh he has no idea what's happening, has never even heard of a period til today. Once he learns about it, he literally asks you if youre just peeing blood. Although I fear if your a transgender man he gets even more confused cause like??? What do you mean some guys bleed down there??

Please don't ask him to run errands, he'll get them done but i don't think the store will ever be the same. You read about it later on your phone. It's so horrifying that you can't look him in the eyes for a day.

Will do his damn hardest to keep your spirits up, hes doing funny little dances, hes doing his lil tricky tricks, hes being your truly devoted jester.

Loves how cuddly you get but hates your mood swings. He gets confused quickly as to what is happening and why your crying then suddenly happy again. Please explain to him it's not his fault. He's just your little guy.

Will lay his head on your stomach to see if he can hear the blood. If he can he likes to listen to it and narrate what's happening. You honestly have no idea if hes BSing cause it's like, weirdly mundane and kinda accurate. He's just sitting there and is like "oh! Another piece of the egg fell out." As you watch TV. How strange.

Todomatsu

Actually knows what hes doing, thank God. Hes already stocked with everything which is kinda weird but hes so ready. Hes got pads AND tampons w/ two sizes. Hes got a stash of candy bars and tea to sooth you.

I feel like hes become like actually good friends with a lot of his old coworkers even if things didn't work out. He learns a lot through them and is actually super caring for them.

He likes to give you spa days where he can pamper you. He reminds you he thinks your gorgeous and he loves every part of you, even the blood.

Handle any mood changes like a champ, hes honestly not afraid to sass you especially when youre being sparky. He doesn't care how tired or bad you feel you can use your grown up words.

Likes taking you out when youre down. He feel like it's better to do something than sit and wallow in your misery. If you're hellbent on staying home then you two can do something like painting and drinking. Just something to do instead of sitting around and wallowing in sadness.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

Imma be so honest I use to not like choromatsu, a lot of his canon behaviors kinda icked me and not in the fun "oooo~ my stinky gross man, im gonna torture you in my basement and lock you in my dungeon 🥰🥰🥰" more in a "you fuckin incel chud. Please dni im not playing LOL w/ you."

But the more I look at his froggy face, and see him freak out and being a tsundere. I get it now, plus im pretty sure hes the only one besides todomatsu to have canonically gotten the job??(i didn't watch those episodes though cause endings and conflicts make me rlly sad. So idk im jusy guessing based on context clues.) So ig there is some truth to his asshole behavior. Plus he looks so cute when he smiles.

Okay choromatsu! You won me over! You're going into my dungeon!

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

Its pride month so im gonna go in depth about some of the osomatsu san characters sexualities. Not just the brothers cause I wanna talk about the three best characters in the entire show. I'll he making a part 2 though. Also please tell me your opinions and thoughts. I love hearing others ideas, especially if they don't line up w/ mine.

Osomatsu san sexualty headcanons

Karamatsu

Okay so, this is an interesting one. I feel like hes gay without realizing it. Like, there's a lot of canonical evidence pointing to him being bisexual, but theres something in my soul that just tells me hes bisexual without ever realizing it.

Hes very gay without realizing it. He's the type to wear gay fashion, go to gay bars, and hang out and be hit on by gay men and be none the wiser. Like hes definitely gone on several dates w/ men and then gets confused when they all suddenly find boyfriends.

On top of that hes very like gender ambiguous when it comes to clothing?? Like less than totty but it's still def there. Hes worn skirts and tried to claim they're kilts and has worn fishnets under booty shorts.

So I think hes bisexual without realizing it.

Ichimatsu

He'd literally take anything if it had a pulse and a kind word to say about him. Doesnt matter, man, woman, non-binary, secret fourth option

Has literally only thought about it once cause he thinks so much he gets worked up and ends up almost homophobic?? Like the stress was too much for him.

I honestly think hes just unlabled and gets really offended if you ask him. Cause like, who tf are you to question him??

Its so funny how I talk about ichimatsu when hes my second favorite brother right after karamatsu 😭😭. I just want to put him in my teeth and shake him violently.

Todomatsu

There's a lot of strong evidence of him being both gay and transgender! But I personally think hes just bisexual, lowkey all the brothers are bi to me w/ how they be fawning over totoko lol.

Hes definitely had a lot of crushes on guys over the years. Keeps it hidden from his brothers though, he hasn't even come out to them. Which is weird cause hes so open about it to everyone else.

Iyami

I was gonna say something but fear it may be insensitive.

Hes a lavender marriage gay. Him and Dobusu are in a relationship so he can show any possible employment just incase since lgbt+ ppl are not fully protected by Japanese law.

Other then that I feel like he has a very normal gay life. Goes to whatever job he has in that moment. Comes home, bitches to his lesbian wife about how men ain't shit, goes do gay shit(sleep for 8 hours cause hes too broke to go party.)

Totoko

She's an evil ass transgender woman, the kind of woman who'll doxx you on Twitter then post a Pic of herself in doggy ears.

Also very performative and competitive with other transgender women and women in general. She's always comparing herself to others which makes her both really insecure and also helps her feel more gender affirmed.

Doesnt realize she's a lesbian and refuses til she blue in the face. She can't be a lesbian!!! She goes on dates with so many guys!!!!

Chibita

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST 🤝🤝🤝. IF THAT ISNT A TRANSGENDER MAN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS.

Okay jokes aside, I like the idea that chibita's a transgender man. That would make sense as to how hes so much shorter than most men and why his voice is slightly more effeminate than the rest.

Also hes so comfortable in his gender w/ how much he likes to cross dress. You saw in that rent a girlfriend episode he wanted that dress man.

Not only is he a bald middle aged transgender man, hes a man who's unafraid in who he is and doesn't feel even slightly threatened by the idea of being feminine.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

I'm too tired to write. I just want my gay ass blue husband to sit next next to me and play with my hair. Then recite the poems he wrote me while I was at work while I gentle bite the shit out of him.

Imagine biting karamatsu and he just pulls down his collar and offers you his neck instead. He calls you his little vampire and then tells you that he'd let you bit him and turn him into a vampire and you two could live in a castle and drink wine for the rest of your lives. Then he'd fall of the bed cause he posed to quickly and cry cause he fell on his face.

My poor little meow meow, how cruel the world treats you. Come to your big strong alpha and I'll protect you.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

This is for the mfs w/ hair, shout out to my baldies though, the shine from your dome lights up my life. This is also written to mainly cater to me and my luxurious brown curls, sns.

The boys with your hair

Osomatsu

He loves patting your head, it's just so informal and silly. Being able to mess your hair up and laughing. Often when he walks by you he'll full claw grab the top of your head.

With this, he also loves to pull on your hair and watch it bounce. Doesnt ask either he just reaches over whenever hes bored and watches as it springs back into place.

Osomatsu loves smelling your hair, sometimes when hes lying on your back he just takes a deep whiff and revels in how you cringe. He thinks its so funny.

If you let him wash your hair, I'm not gonna lie it's gonna be rough at first. Hes never had to deal w/ super tangled hair and will rip right through your knots with reckless abandon. If your tender headed it's literally your worst nightmare.

Eventually though he learns how to care for your hair, he especially likes to just put a his hand in your hair and just grab it. Not even for anything sexy, he just likes for soft and different your hair feels compared to his.

Karamatsu

Hes been wanting to touch your hair since day one, every time he sees you walk in. Your hair bouncing with each step you took. It made you look powerful and wild, playful and sweet, and so SO out of his league.

Once he gets past it though, he loves touching your hair. He loves brushing, styling, and maybe even cutting if youre so daring! He's surprisingly good with hair, able to reshape it into new things with ease.

Also really good at taking care of it, thought about getting a perm and looked deeply into hair matenience but once his brothers realized what he was about to do they all made fun of him so hard he never thought of it again,,,, at least he can live out his fantasies through you!

Karamatsus very gentle and reacts quickly if he hears a wince or a hiss, very apologetic and remorseful, but it ends up slowing down the entire process by an hour cause every time you wince he apologized for like 2 to 3 minutes

Also can style your hair rlly well, being able to do braids and buns or spikes and updos! At the end of the day once hes done you get to praise his work while he sits there and blushes. Trying desperately to look cool while holding a blow drier and hair spray.

Choromatsu

So many head pats, its kinda an anime thing hes super into. Calls you kawaii while gentle stroking your head. Hes a weirdo what did you expect? You still love him even if you wanna barf.

Choromatsu wraps your hair around his fingers often. Especially when hes waiting for you to he done with whatever task youre up to. He likes how even after he pulls his hand away your hair stays in place. Perfect little ringlets.

He likes to find anime characters or even idols with similar hair to you. Especially if you have it styled, dyed, or your hair is just unique in anyway. It's so cute cause he'll spend hours looking for the perfect character to send you.

It takes him a while til hes comfortable w/ showering with you. Once he is he loves washing your hair. Thinks it's so nice to know you trust him so much to do something to intimate.

Also likes sniffing you hair, he denies it though cause hes a pervert and thinks itd weird. He just can't help it, it smells so nice and it's so soft. Once he gets the okay though he likes sticking his entire face into your hair and just resting.

Ichimatsu

Loves petting you, when you lay in his lap he absent mindedly just pets your head like a cat. He honestly doesn't even mean to, he just does. Kinda forgets your not a cat sometimes and has tried to feed you fish snacks, up to you if you eat them.

Do not let this man try to brush your hair. He will pull it too hard, get really sad, then snap at you. Instead brush your hair and then let him brush it. Trust me it's the only way to do this.

His favorite of your hair is when you wake up with bed head. He's never seen such crazy hair, likes to smooth it out back into something sorta neat. Which is ironic given how his hair is.

Also prefers if you had slightly messy hair, especially if it's curly. Maybe it's do you two can match, maybe it's because it looks like you two got frisky, something about it makes him weirdly happy.

Also took a while for him to shower with you, and honestly hates it. It's just the fact that it's either hes cold or your cold. Sadly there's not enough space under that for both of you. He much prefers baths since you can lay on him while he washes your hair.

Jyushimatsu

Your hair is always a mess when hes around, he physically cannot stop touching it. You'd have to hand cuff him to the table and then hes gonna be curling your hair around his fuckin toes.

Hes also a habitual hair sniffer and is completely shameless about it. Does it in public too. He'll take a deep sniff if your head, then give you a gentle kiss. Also knows immediately when you change your shampoo because of this. Also puts your hair in his mouth sometimes.

Loves washing your hair but you don't let him because of how chaotic it is. Hes either getting the soap in your eyes, water boarding you, literally anything BUT washing your hair. Also the type of guy to turn your hair into a gaint spike.

Likes bouncing your curls. He could literally sit there and do it for hours. Just pulling your hair gently and letting go. Giggling each time like a toddler. It's a good way to entertain him if you have shit to do.

Also styles your hair but gives it's always some bullshit. Like swans or literal birds nest. It's nothing ever normal and it takes you six hours to detangle.

Todomatsu

Oh please let him, this is the type of shit hes been dreaming of. Just being able to play with some ACTUAL hair!! Like theres only so much you can do with his hair. Yours though, especially if it's long?! Hes begging for it!!

Loves posting your guy's hair together. If you got your hair cut, pic! If youre trying a new style, pic! If you just look extra cute today, PIC!!! Hes totally not obsessed or anything!

Loves playing with your hair, it's just so fun and bouncy. You don't really get to see a lot of different textures in Japan. Would ask to style your hair into different textures though. Would try different curl types, maybe even straightening!

Is really gentle with your hair. Hes practically an expert in dealing with it. His fingers manage to glide through uninterrupted even before brushing your hairs. Gives the best scalp massages because of this

Also loves washing your hair. Especially when you two are taking a bath. When you lean your head back so he can rinse your hair he leans over and gives you a gentle kiss. It's so sweet honestly.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

I think we all know ichimatsu wants to be a cat. It’s so stress free and he doesn’t have to worry about pleasing anyone. He’s actually fantasized this since he was little.

Sometimes when he can’t go to sleep he imagines he was turned into cat, and that some pretty person adopts him and he can just lay in their arms all day and be doted on.

This may also be my coping mechanism but shhhhh.

If he’s feeling extra exhausted he’ll loaf and the only words ppl can get out of him is meows and hisses.

And if you stay extra still, and he’s feeling slightly social, he’ll lay in your lap and let you pet him :333

THIS IS A GROWN ASS MAN, BRO LAYIN IN YOUR LAP PURRIN N SHIT. GET HIM TF OUTTA HERE

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

I'm feeling a bit anxious and I think it's due to weather and some life changes, I'm gonna ramble about an idea i had for choromatsu

Choromatsu x idol reader part 1

You are an idol for a semi-niche group. Your whole schtick for your character was that you were grouchy and gloomy. Often acting rebellious and almost deliquint. Making sure to be bold and brash. You had no trouble doing this since you were already out spoke

Maybe a little too outspoken. So much so you'd regularly spark controversy despite your manager's warning. Eventually he had to get you your own micro manager. Which so happened to be choromatsu

Funny enough this was the last thing choromatsu wahted!! He hated you and your whole vibe. Choromatsu thought idols should be sweet and sassy sometimes but only when it was cute! Not rude abrasive and even threatening.

He honestly had no idea what people saw in you and why some people seemed to like you. Which he wasn't wrong you were the least popular which is why he got put on staff

Oh how you loathed each other. You two were constantly arguing, about how you should act, how he was treating you and the others like meat, and how both of you need to knock it off. It was generally the worst time for your group. Having to hear constant bickering.

Choromatsu had no idea why you chose to he an idol since you seemed to hate it so much. You would grimace while talking to fans, you'd roll your eyes at the cheesy themes, you'd even argue with the writers about your parts.

He tried everything to make you more palatable. Tried to ease you into meet and greets, give you classes on how to behave, monitored your idol social media(not your private ones), and hovered around you trying to fix your attitude.

It wasn't until he took a step back, exhausted and exasperated that he could see something he hadn't. Sitting on a couch with a room full of idols just for a few hours you seemed to relax. That's when he hears something he thought didn't exist.

You were laughing, it was gentle and smooth, like a swan gliding around. It made him look up, to see you surrounded by your group, by your friends, as you were cooking for them. One was sitting on the counter as they retold a story. Another sat on the floor asking questions about your day.

The world around you looked so peaceful for just a second. Then you two locked eyes and you glared at him. Choromatsu sighed, this was gonna be a lot of work. He didn't know if he was cut out but now he at least had a new angle.

This was the first(and probably only) chance to be the best manager he could be. He had to preserve and deal with your bitchy attitude for a little while longer. Turning you into the best idol ever!

I'm gonna write more for this, consider this a part one

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

I feel like todomatsu and choromatsu are rlly good at crafts. Choromatsu more than todomatsu. I feel like if choromatsu rlly locked in he could do stuff like sewing, crafting, just anything to do w/ cos play.

Todomatsu would probably be more into jewelry making and had a friend ship bracelet phase where he'd make intricate designs for people and all his brothers have one from when they were in middle school.

[hyperfixatedonthatdick]

God the dream is literally just a domestic life w/ my idiot husband karamatsu matsuno

All I want in life is to come home from a hard day's of work. Exhausting beyond belief to a semi clean house and a kinda burnt dinner and my idiot husband practicing his karate moves in the living room before I watch him fall on his ass. Is that too much to ask for?

My standards are simultaneously too high and wayy too low. Maybe one day I'll find my karamatsu husband 😔😔