Tbe Mixing Bowl

Poured words onto a page. Welcome to my inner monologue

[virgoasf]

[curlsandstems]

I need this.

[poni1kenobi-deactivated20250915]

Reblogged last year, hoping it comes this year

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

My skin is the color of poppies in a overgrown field because I didn’t want to mow the lawn two weeks

It is a representative of the places my ancestors fled from, a symbol of belonging

Yet, society has seemingly forgotten this

Instead, my skin is now a beacon of stereotyped straight As and kinky prostitution

It is seen as a disadvantage, no longer shining with the pride it once bore.

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

It’s funny

How my most depressing episodes

Are my brightest achievements

I am literally praised for self-deprivation

As if outside praise can replace inner turmoil

“You suck”

“Omg this is like, the best thing ever!”

It’s funny how those words are so similar yet different

[sleepingbeautywannabe]

Just because I smile

Doesn’t mean I’m happy.

Doesn’t mean I’m “better”.

Doesn’t mean I’m actually smiling.

Doesn’t mean I’m comfortable around my family.

Doesn’t mean my mental health is back to 100.

Doesn’t mean I’m back to who I was used.

Doesn’t mean I’ve dropped all my bad habits.

Doesn’t mean my nights are peaceful.

Doesn’t mean my days are brighter.

Doesn’t mean my life is “back to the way it was”.

Doesn’t mean I’m okay.

Doesn’t mean I love myself now.

Doesn’t mean fucking shit.

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

I am not who you think I am

Do not try to stick a label on me

Only I can do that

For I am the sole proprietor of me

Do not try to stick a label on me

When you haven’t seen what I’ve seen

The nights where my parents cried over finances while I went to fancy “mon-t-ssary” so I could fit in

My hours of cramming for that A

The struggles of balancing worlds upon my shoulders

Do not try to stick a label on me

And then wonder why I do not react to it

Because honey, you aren’t the first

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

The Love You Give

Your love is conditional

I have to earn it through

My grades and my successes

But what exactly are my successes even?

They are the praises of other people

That is the love you give.

Why should I have to fight for your love?

Why should I give you something I never owed?

Is your love a payment or reward for the things I accomplish?

That is the love you give.

Maybe you don’t think this way

Maybe you think you love me unconditionally

But I don’t

And what worth is your love if the person who you’re directing you’re love at cannot understand it?

That is the love you give.

[drowningpoetry]

most people can’t see their angel wings when they look in the mirror because we only see what we feel. i see a monster because that’s how i feel. i’m sure you see something that makes you unhappy, but look a little harder. the reflection staring back at you is begging you to love it. pay attention. listen to it. don’t ignore your own calls.

[cwote]

You’re Not Weird If...

you like to spend time alone

social situations make you uncomfortable

you have a hard time speaking to an audience

you cry a little

you cry a lot

you aren’t in a steady relationship

you get sad for no reason

if you have mood shifts

you have a mental illness

[deeplifequotes]

“Pay attention to what people say out of anger, they’ve been dying to tell you that.”

— Unknown

[juansendizon]

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Sorry, this isn’t her

Gold. Pink.

A perfect blend of the perfect girl.

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Haha. I want to puke

Perfect?

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

I am not perfect

I am a mixture of black and blue

A mess of papers and heavy caffeine

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Oof. You’re just trying to act

Depressed

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Because besides that

You don’t stand out

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

What can you

Besides waste air?

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Lies stream out of your mouth like a gushing waterfall.

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

And they aren’t even good ones.

You look like a fish gasping for air

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

You pick a name off a list like a daisy

Because “you don’t think your binary gender suits you”

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Well dumbass, where art thou now?

As confused as to where you started.

You don’t like the name you chose.

You think it “doesn’t fit”

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Well, here’s a funny fact:

You don’t fit.

You never will

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Because you’re perfect the way you are.

And I’m begging you, self, to recognize that

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Eek. I loved you but I don’t think I can anymore.

[curiano-life-quotes]

Curiano Quotes Life - #LifeQuote, Love Quotes, Life #Quotes, Live #Life #Quote, and Letting Go Quotes. Visit this blog now Curiano.com

[letters-that-i-wont-send]

Dear You,

I didn’t believe that I’d be able to love anyone after you.

That’s how deep your wounds were.

[inkcoveredfingertips]

Some people feel like heaven. Some people feel like hell. Some people feel a bittersweet combination of what is best in being human.

I.c.f.

[juansendizon]

“And I am starting to learn that when someone says ‘I want to die’ it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re holding a gun to their head, ready to jump from a forty story building or swallow the pills they’re hiding under the bed. ‘I want to die’ could be the same as ‘Look at me. I’m in so much pain. I’m failing my classes on purpose. It has been five days since I last took a shower and my breath smells like too much alcohol.’ ‘I want to die’ could be the very definition of ‘I don’t care about anything anymore, and I need someone to help me’ and of course you’d have to help them because they are tired of life or at the very least—send them to someone you know they can trust.”

— Juansen Dizon, Tired of Living

[i-am-a-freaking-mess]

Now, when we talk

I wonder how I ever loved you

// excerpts in a book I have not written