The Boy Who Cries Wolf

[juansendizon]

A happy house is all I need in life. Where there are songs, warm conversations, and soul cuddles. Where the sun rises in the smile of the people I love which are my east. I need trees outside where we can rest in the grass for a little while during chilly autumn afternoons and laugh about how there are so many poems about the moon, and maybe tonight she might begin laughing too. I need dogs without leashes and stars with a thousand wishes, and I wish for the good health of my family and friends, and my prayer every nightfall is for their melody and wellness. I’m glad that the souls surrounding me in the present are kind, blissful, and nurturing. I’m grateful that the souls I care for are the places I call my home. For where peace is found, there is love.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, Settlement 

[juansendizon]

Who art thou to me? Let me write of you. You are my bright star, my love, my brother. I know you’re there at the skies changing hues, Happy and at peace amongst the flowers. Tonight I cry for you have passed away. You are the fairest, gentlest, warmest being, and my heart never got the chance to say, I love you with all of my heart that morning. You are my soulmate in my mother’s womb. Life hast lost its yellow in your last breath, while everything rains to nurture your tomb, and love knows no joy in the hour of your death. But I smile for you are at rest with Thee, I’ll laugh with you soon in Eternity.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, Bright Star 

[juansendizon]

Love is everlasting. It does not end with death. It endures in the hearts of the people who felt happy and warm in its light. Love is a song that one day rests, but its resting makes the melody of those who have appreciated its meaning even more significant, sacred, and fair. It is sad for the vessel of love to leave its earthly form, and yet it is formless when it carries on to somewhere we all believe shall be better than the grief and sorrow it has left behind for those who miss it. Grief and sorrow are the pen and paper of love to write in our marvelous days with tears that as long as we are with breath, we will always remember, and therefore something as precious as this can never die. Love is passed forward, and that’s what makes it relentless, for it teaches us in its moment of departure that it is always caring and thus we shall always care, that it is always true and thus we shall always seek for truth and that it is always for the best and thus we shall always look forward towards the horizon with hope for it is always with us, and that’s every reason we need to keep it burning forever.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, Everlasting

[juansendizon]

I’ll forever keep you in my heart. 💓

[juansendizon]

I love you forever little brother. 

You’re at peace in heaven now.

Thank you for being my best friend. 

December 30, 2000 - September 27, 2021

[juansendizon]

To be isolated with you for a whole day is my dream. For us to wake up in the morning light and remembering nothing about the saddest nights. I’ll kiss you on your forehead and smile because you’re the most beautiful in between sleepiness and bliss. I’ll dance with you in the kitchen and catch you when you fall as I make some coffee and as you make some eggs. “Dear diary, today is the first day of the rest of my life for a person is a sunrise.” You’re the words I wanted to live for after all this time, and I’m so grateful to share my existence with you. To walk around and be surrounded by trees and you ask me if it’s all lovely, and I look into your eyes and say yes darling, everything is lovelier than it has ever been. And while sharing silence with you, I understand that everything I need to feel your love is to be with you and have two fields to appreciate. Your magnificent of life and my sweetness of death. You’re the person I want to be with till’ my very last breath, and in the hour of separation, I’ll hold your hand and kiss it and tell you that it’s been wonderful and rare. Wonderful and rare to have known you.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, Wonderful & Rare

[juansendizon]

Where does the sun rise? In the east or in the garden of all your good doings? I’m an admirer of how your existence gives warmness and care to all things. You are the autumn effect. When summer dreams have faded away with the illusions of their happiness, You fall like maple leaves for you are the promise of everything coming into a full circle. You are the sacrifice of dreams to make the reality of the ones you love less painful than it seems. I want to offer you a lovelier word than lovely. I want to offer you a prettier word than pretty. Love and beauty is all you are; Darling, you were born from a yellow star. Someday all your wishes will come true because God sees how you take care of the ones who are dear to you. Kindness has its miracles – my sunshine. Tis’ a blessing that the northern light has brought me to you.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, You are my sunshine

[juansendizon]

Dearest Readers,

Thank you for appreciating the poems I write. Thank you for all your love and support. I write because it’s my therapy for depression and it’s nice to inspire and bring hope and love in the process of my recovery.

Confessions of a Wallflower is my first book that I wrote five years ago and I hope it brings you the courage to heal and trust in the beauty of life again.

You can get it here: amazon.com/dp/1542396859 💓

I’m sending you peaceful days. 

Love always, 

Juansen Ryne Dizon

[juansendizon]

I dream despite depression, despite skies of gray. I dream despite these thoughts of not living another day. I suffered, I loved, I fought – If given a chance to be born again, I’ll take it without an afterthought. Because to live is to experience beauty and hope even when tragedy and misery is everywhere. In my loneliest hours comes the yellowest flowers, Faith sings “I love you there.” and I believe, my friend, that despair is not the end. Despair is the beginning of creating hope, more hope – To color the rainbow. To sing sweet songs to the hopeless. For hopelessness is a hope that is not full but it doesn’t mean the complete absence of it. Hope is a little thing but it is everything. Hope is a little thing but how it gives demons wings. Hopefulness is when the love we feel for possibilities reaches up to the heavens. and in the inferno of my life I wanted to end it all. But I dreamed despite depression. I still dream, every day, always. Even a single season of joy is worth a hundred seasons of grief. and I am the warmth in the fall.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, I dream despite depression 

[juansendizon]

Appreciation is the final resting place of grief. I learned this when her goodbye was how I realized that I loved her from the moment she said hello. I listen nowadays to the songs we sang when we were together, and some days I cry but not always out of pain but for the honor of meeting someone who meant the whole world to me even when during those moments I didn’t know she was the love of my life. I treat the memories of her like a library, and I am silent because it is a sacred place where I grew in the wisdom that sometimes we need to let go of someone not because we no longer love them but because we always will and what matters most is the happiness they deserve even when we’re no longer a part of it like the death of a star that gives birth to a supernova and the memories catches its last breath and moves on. I miss her, and I guess a part of me will carry that feeling till’ the day I die, but as long as I’m alive, I will carry on with grace in my heart, and perhaps one day when I meet her at a corner of the street, a soft café or anywhere on this earth I will thank her for the privilege of sharing my brightest days with her and know that I wouldn’t have missed that for the world.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, Sunset

[juansendizon]

God she makes me happy, The kind of happy that makes me smile even when someday I’m not going to be the reason why she laughs at the kitchen while dancing with a thousand butterflies. God she makes me happy, When she talks about her day, and she’s well for she’s the girl I want to offer my heavens to and I’m here to kiss her through the toughest hells. God she makes me happy, I don’t care if I die sad, I live for her bliss – I look at her blush, and sunshine dances through me and I wanna make her feel special for the rest of my life. God she makes me happy, Sometimes I cry because I love her so much and I can’t grow old without the snow of her touch but maybe she doesn’t love me that way, so I don’t tell her in order to keep her happy, and this joy won’t last forever.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, The Chaos of Being a Best Friend

[juansendizon]

I just want to heal and not always be counting numbers in my head with this fear that something bad is going to happen if I let go of control. I’m sick of checking and rechecking things when I know in my heart that all is well, but my mind has a difficult time trying to understand that. I’m tired of not living my life and always staying in the dark room of my mind. I feel so much disgust and shame, and guilt. I want to be free from my obsessions and the endless search for them to go away. I want to accept them but let them go at the same time. It’s hard living with this disorder. I have this unbearable desire for perfection, and everything feels fucked up. I wish to be carefree than to second guess everything that keeps me from enjoying life as it is. I need to be present. Be a present for life, my family, my best friends. I still want to marry, write good sentences and dance my way to a brighter future. It starts here. In the here and now. I choose to be better, and that means facing my demons, my compulsions, and my madness. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it. Wellness is worth it, and I’m going to live well. I’m going to put in the work towards recovering. That’s my greatest dream, and I’m going to make it. I’m going to make it.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, New Leaf

[juansendizon]

“Will you love me even if I’m old and gray?” she muttered. “I’ll love you forever,” he said and held her hand. “Even when there’s no tomorrow,” he whispered. “Even when we’re both dusts in the wind.”

Juansen Dizon

[juansendizon]

Some soulmates grow apart than they ever will if they’re together. That’s the sadness of love. The sadness of angels.

Juansen Dizon

[romanticnihilists]

[juansendizon]

You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel the happy kind of tired because they hug you after a sad day, and you can’t help but melt in wholeness. You deserve to be with someone who offers you the rest of their mornings because they want to carry your light with them as they carry on with their hopes and dreams. You deserve to be with someone who kisses you where you feel the most unlovable, and you feel safe there like nothing can ever harm you nor hurt you, and you want to stay a little bit longer in their touch. You deserve to be with someone who makes you believe that you’re worthy of living well because they’re always there, ready to catch you when you fall, and I want to be the person you deserve to be with.

Juansen Ryne Dizon, A Love Letter in August

[juansendizon]

Letters are the kisses of my heart, Darling I love you to the bottom of the sea – Whenever we’re apart, I weep, Write to me, write to me! Letters are the cuddles of the soul, A reply from you is destiny – Every word from that sealed paper sings, Read of me, read of me!

Juansen Ryne Dizon, Poets In Love