I Want To Be...

Lila. 19, NY. SW-170. CW-165.8 GW-130

[i-am-oh-so]

Worst thing

The worst thing about this stupid disease is the weight gain during recovery. You can remember the body you used to have, and see it all covered up by fat again. It makes me want to vomit just thinking about it.

[thinningchance]

Thanks for 17k 💕💞 I know its not really a good thing and i’m so sorry that were all going through this but i’m always here if you need someone to talk to~

[sk1nn1dreams]

[depressed-tryingmybest]

Things I hate…

“You drink so much water and don’t eat fast food. How are you not skinny?”

Sitting a certain way all the time

Never being comfortable

Not being able to wear shorts

Always wearing big, clunky shoes so my legs don’t look huge

TRYING ON CLOTHES (9 times out of 10 it ends up with me crying)

“Your mom’s skinny, I can’t believe you’re not”

Can’t wear dresses

Can’t wear tank tops

Swim suits suck

S U M M E R (only cuz I can’t wear summer clothes. So I just sweat in my jeans and sweaters)

Knee high socks don’t work

Having absolutely no self confidence

Well it’s gonna change. I will be skinny. I will be comfortable. I will wear what I want. I will finally be beautiful

[lord-why]

Some transformation pics 🌞

They got to their goal weight,

so can you

[whinnyhoe]

[ Calories in foods ]

100 grams = ½ cup

Fruits

Apple | 95cals

Apricot | 17cals

Avocado | 322cals

Banana | 105cals

Bell pepper | 24cals

BlackBerry | 3cals - each

Blueberry | 85cals - 1 cup

Cantaloupe | 186cals

Cherry | 4cals - each

Cranberry | 46 - 1 cup 

Eggplant | 25cals - 100 grams

Grape | 2cals - each

Kiwi | 42cals

Grapefruit | 104cals

Lemon | 17cals

Lime | 20cals

Mango | 201cals

Melon | 61cals - 1cup

Olive | 4cals

Orange | 45cals

Papaya | 67cals

Passion fruit | 17cals

Pea | 81 - 100 grams

Peach | 59cals

Pear | 102cals

Pineapple | 50cals - 100 grams

Plum | 46cals

Pomegranate | 233cals

Pumpkin | 30cals - 1 cup

Raisin | 76cals - every 50 raisins

Raspberry | 65cals - 1 cup

Strawberry | 4cals - each

Tangerine | 53cals

Tomato | 22cals

Watermelon | 85cals - 280 grams

Zucchini | 33cals 

[dr0w-z2]

the most frustrating part is that i can SEE that i could definitely have my idea of a perfect body

i can see the wide set hips that could allow a thigh gap

i can see the prominent hip bones that could one day poke through my skin

i can see the small hands that could be dainty and pretty

i can see the cheekbones and jawline that could make my face look sculpted

i can see the potential for a tiny waist that could give me the hourglass body

and yet i’m still not motivated. i’m still here bingeing, going over my calorie limit, not exercising, and not looking after myself which is driving me further and further away from having the body i’ve always craved and i still don’t understand why i do this to myself

[ymmugio]

He likes thin girls

He lies to me saying he likes my body. I’m fat, and he likes thin girls. Sometimes I think he’s with me because he’s looking for sex. Or because he thinks he can’t have something better.

[chain-smoking-aesthetic]

If you see me:

• Eating chocolate, doesn’t mean I’m not anorexic. • Eating McDonald’s or some other fast food, doesn’t mean I’m not anorexic. • Eating more than one meal a day, doesn’t mean I’m not anorexic. • Eating high cal/fatty/junk foods, doesn’t mean I’m not anorexic.

There are so many examples I could use. But no matter what you see, it doesn’t mean you know. I may eat a big, high calorie meal but that doesn’t mean I won’t punish myself with 200 sit ups and a fast later on.

Sometimes I HAVE to eat. Family dinners, celebrations, a slip in self control, whatever reason there is, there will always be a way that I “make up for it” purging, fasting or working my ass off.

Don’t you fucking dare tell me that I “can’t be anorexic” cause I “ate blah blah”

What you’re doing when you say this is making me go crazy in my head and I’ll probably end up punishing myself more than usual for eating.

Thank you, rant over

[troisbabe]

here’s to praying that we don’t all pig out on halloween candy.

[brittleboness]

Sex with an Ed

Being too scared to ride your bf because you’re scared you will crush him with your enormous weight

Not being able to 69 without fear of suffocation

Being on the pill and constantly worrying about gaining weight- I definitely feel I have

I’m into choking (no shame here right?) and every time he does it I can’t help but think he sees my neck as fat, and it shows off a double chin

Usually having sex in oversized shirts even though he knows how I look

I’m terrified of shower sex, simply because there is nowhere to hide and I’m so ashamed of my body

Stay safe x

[moonlightmydear]

Reblog if you’re trying to lose 20+ pounds by Christmas 🎄

[weloveskinni]

Lmao imagine you grabbing literally anything you want to wear and not worrying about it because you’re thin and you look good in everything

[i-am-oh-so]

I don’t sleep

I don’t really sleep anymore and I am pretty sure it’s because of the amount of caffeine I consume. Like right now I am having both coffee and green tea at the same time and it’s 12:15 am. At least it settles the grumbles in my tummy!

[i-am-oh-so]

Instead of Eating I Will...

1.) Study for classes. I’ve got a lot of work to do, why waste time eating when I could be getting As?

2.) Exercise! Taking a quick jog around the dorms will help me stay awake and burn calories. Much better than gorging on sweets.

3.) Journal. It’s nice to rant or write song lyrics or tape in random things. Journaling is a safe space, one where food can’t bother me.

4.) Watch videos. Whether that be Supersize v Superskinny or John Oliver, I will distract myself until the cravings go away. Plus I can laugh away the hunger.

[luna1863-deactivated20190807]

#3 Witch

🌙 thinspo

[the-starving-sunflower]

my favorite thinspo