I'm not a terrible person

Old Lead Guitiarist for the Metal band Dethklok **Independent RP Blog for Magnus Hammersmith of Metalocalypse Canon and OC welcome! Multifandom Multiship(?) MA!: None **Any pictures or Icons I use belong to their respectful owners :)

[necrobrat]

"DID YOU JUST SPILL YOUR DRINK ON ME!?"

        GETTING A DRINK SPILLED ON YOU SUCKS, BUT GODDAMN, DID HE HAVE TO YELL ?? it makes her flinch, makes her recoil. she almost trips over herself reaching for paper towels to clean up the mess. she’s frantic.

               ❝   shit, dude, i’m so sorry   —   someone bumped my elbow and   —   ❞    

[i-am-the-hammer]

Of all things to happen at this stupid party Toki dragged him to, This had to happen! The sticky alcoholic drink already starting to stick to his skin and jacket. “Fucking A dude! Watch where you’re going!” He said as he watched the girl trip over her own feet. How pathetic.

[jokull-in-the-house-of-flies-de]

thanks for your request, @ardate ! I’m continuing with the pajamas theme for a little while, maybe the whole band

every time i look at this scumbag it reminds me of Ronnie James Dio, but if he had an evil twin

[i-am-the-hammer]

Cognitive Assessment Meme

BOLD what your muse experiences Italicize what they sometimes experience, or only in certain verses Strikethrough any that never apply

then tag your mutuals to do the same! Please repost. Do NOT reblog!

Alcoholism. Amnesia. Anxiety. Appetite Loss. Binge Eating. Co-Dependence. Cynicism. Defensiveness. Denial. Depersonalization. Depression. Derealization. Devaluation.Displacement. Dissociation. Drug Abuse. Dysphoria. Emotional Detachment. Flashbacks. Flat Affect. Guilt. Hallucinations. Hypersomnia. Hypervigilance. Hypochondria. Idealization. Insomnia. Intellectualization. Introjection. Isolation. Low Self Esteem. Narcissism. Night Terrors. Obsessive Compulsion. Overeating. Panic Attacks. Passive Aggression. Paranoia.Phobias. Projection. Psychosis. Rationalization. Regression. Repression. Restrictive Eating.Risky Sex. Self-Harm. Somatization. Splitting. Sublimation. Suicidal Ideation. Sleepwalking.Suppression. Thousand Yard Stare. Triggers. Trust Issues. Violence. Whiplash Temper.

tagged by: @sandsofchaos tagging: @coquetaire @dethmaid @freebxllin annnnd anyone else who wants to do it ;P

[i-am-the-hammer]

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Whats wrong with ME?! You have no fucking idea what is wrong with me! Who the hell do you think the fuck you are you little punk?!” Magnus shoved the guitarist to ground. Hard. 

[rhythmguitars]

                                            Oh, how he wished he’d    bite his tongue.    A whimper leaves his lips when he’s collided with the ground.    GOD,    who was this guy? Where was the best friend he’d made at the camp? It’s like that persona ——————– it was a    persona,    wasn’t it? ——————– had vanished into thin air.          ❝ S-Sorries. I’m sorries….. ❞

[i-am-the-hammer]

Magnus let out a chuckle, “Oh? Now you’re fucking sorry?! Do you even have the slightest Idea of the shit I went through you spoiled Prick!?!?” He then swung his leg at Toki’s side. His anger seeping through his blood, This nobody, had the gall to assume something was wrong with him? What did he know? Magnus hated looking at him, So pathetic and weak. What made this dork better than him anyways? In what ways? 

[skeletiis]

@i-am-the-hammer ♥’d this for a starter.

【 ❥ 𝗏𝖺𝗅𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾 】———- ;;

                  ❝ Well, you DEFINITELY don’t look like                    you came from that party. ❞

Leaning against the front fence of some other FANCY PR guy’s mansion —— or something like that —— she was in dire need of getting away from some of those high -end formal names. Barefoot && still dressed in a black cocktail dress, her high heels are in one hand && a lit CIGARETTE in the other. She SMIRKS.

                     ❝ Trust me, if you were lookin’ at that place,                      you don’t wanna be there. ❞

[i-am-the-hammer]

The older man gave a small chuckle. He was leaning against the bar fence. Yeah, she was right. What’s a rugged man like him doing in a fancy as shit place like this? Wearing just a jean jacket and pants, what kind of fiend would attend such a ball?? 

“Do you honestly think I would go to a fuckfest like this?” He questioned, pointing to the mansion behind him with his thumb over his back. “I’m.. waiting for someone. Who it is is none of your damn business girl.”

[i-am-the-hammer]

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Whats wrong with ME?! You have no fucking idea what is wrong with me! Who the hell do you think the fuck you are you little punk?!” Magnus shoved the guitarist to ground. Hard. 

[trcshymemes]

COWBOY BEBOP SENTENCE STARTERS.

❝ …Bang… ❞

❝ This could be a trap. ❞

❝ This is strictly business. ❞

❝ Whatever happens, happens. ❞

❝ Life is but a dream. ❞

❝ You’re in a good mood today. ❞

❝ Tell me what you’re doing here. ❞

❝ Don’t try anything. ❞

❝ Why don’t you shoot? ❞

❝ Go on, pull the trigger. ❞

❝ What’s wrong? Lose your nerve? ❞

❝ You’re an original, aren’t you? ❞

❝ Could you be a little quieter please? ❞

❝ Great, a wannabe preacher with a gun… ❞

❝ Guess you’ll have to chalk it up to bad luck. ❞

❝ You’re gonna carry that weight. ❞

❝ The one that’s insane is this world. ❞

❝ Hey there, having a little trouble? ❞

❝ Are you living in the real world? ❞ 

❝ Even if you play by the rules, nothing gets solved. ❞

❝ The more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❞

❝ I’m just a humble bounty hunter, ma’am/sir. ❞

❝ Pretending to be senile won’t get you out of this. ❞

❝ I’m just watching a bad dream I never wake up from. ❞

❝ Are you pleading for your life? ❞

❝ You should see yourself right now. ❞

❝ Do you have any idea what you look like? A ravenous beast. ❞

❝ The same blood runs through both of us. ❞

❝ I’ve bleed all that kind of blood away. ❞

❝ Why are you still alive? ❞

❝ Don’t give me that art of war crap. ❞

❝ Time never stands still. ❞  

❝ If you don’t work, you don’t eat. ❞

❝ These Earthlings are weird. ❞ 

❝ I’ll take care of this, you can go back. ❞

❝ I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass. ❞

❝ A star just fell from the sky. ❞

❝ Cold climates don’t concern me. ❞

❝ Your heart is colder than any planet. ❞

❝ Remember, a snake cannot eat a dragon. ❞

❝ We should’ve never taken such a risk. ❞

❝ I’m fully aware of the danger. ❞

❝ How long were you in there listening, [ name ]? ❞ 

❝ And this time, I hope you have sweet dreams. ❞

❝ I’ll meet you at the end of this world. ❞

❝ Belonging is the very best thing there is. ❞

❝ There is nothing more innocent and cruel than a child.❞

❝ Man shouldn’t have to live on carbohydrates alone, complex or otherwise. ❞

❝ I have no fear of death. It just means dreaming in silence. A dream that lasts for an eternity. ❞

❝ Of the days that I have lived, only those I spent with you seemed real. ❞

❝ My memory…finally came back…but nothing good came from it. ❞

❝ There was no place for me to return to; this was the only place I could go. ❞

❝ Why do you have to go? Where are you going?! ❞

❝ What are you going to do, throw away your life like it was nothing?! ❞

❝ What’s your price to keep this from leaking to the press? ❞

❝ Either you give me the money or I put a bullet through your brain. ❞    

❝ I’m not the type to be led around by a woman/man. ❞

❝ You can’t tell the age of a woman by looking at her. ❞

❝ You’re kidding yourself if you think every woman/man is like you. They’re not.❞

❝ Why did you do all of this? For money? Some sort of revenge? Or perhaps just for fun?❞

❝ Come on, hang in there, you hear me? ❞ 

❝ When angels are forced out of heaven, they become devils. ❞

❝ Tell me, if we had met earlier in life, would we have been friends? ❞

❝ You know the first rule of combat? Shoot them before they shoot you. ❞

❝ I’m not a criminal. Woah, that makes me sound more like a criminal, doesn’t it. ❞

❝ You took all the money you stole from us and lost it in a gambling casino? ❞

❝ This is real mystic and all, but uh, do you have anything to eat here? ❞

❝ You know what they say, cowboy, easy come easy go. ❞ 

❝ You told me once, to forget the past, cause it doesn’t matter, but you’re the one still tied to the past, [ name ]!  ❞

❝ Don’t tell me things like that; you’ve never told me anything about yourself, so don’t tell me now! ❞

❝ I felt like I was watching a dream I’d never wake up from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over. ❞

❝ Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light, but if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity…  ❞

❝ Men only think about their past right before death, as if they were searching frantically for proof they were alive. ❞

❝ No one can draw a clear line between sane and insane. You move that line as you see fit for yourself. No one else can.  ❞

[horrificmemes]

Rotten Relationship Sentence Starters

Trigger warning - heavy themes related to emotional abuse, manipulation, and hinted domestic abuse incoming. Note that the mun does not make light of abuse of any sort, but this has been one of the most highly and persistently suggested subjects in the askbox.

“Get out. Your face is making me sick today.” “I’m only with you out of charity, you know that, right?” “Who are you talking to? Let me see the phone number.” “If I ever see them hanging around the house again, you’re not leaving for a week.” “What did you tell them? Were you talking about me? Be honest.” “You know what the punishment is for lying to me, right?” “Go ahead, walk out the door. I’ll make sure your whole family knows you were the one who hurt me.” “That was supposed to be a secret? Whoops. My bad.” “I could leave you any time I want.” “I love you. But that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you like.” “Whoops. Looks like you got broken glass on the floor. Clean that up, will you?” “You don’t need friends, honey. I’m your friend.” “I don’t care if they invited you. Tonight you’re spending time with me. And tomorrow night. And the night after that.” “Call them and tell them you never want to see them again. Do it.” “I’m going out, and I’m locking the house. If I see the rug by the door shifted even the tiniest bit, I’m going to be very cross with you.” “Come on now, stop crying. It makes you look so sloppy.” “What’s wrong with you?” “Yes, great job, you’re fucking up this whole relationship.” “It’s obvious you’re not trying hard enough.” “Give me your phone. I want to see who you’ve been talking to.” “I saw something very suspicious on the security cameras from yesterday.” “You can’t leave me. You know what I’ll do if you try.” “Don’t yell. The neighbors will get the wrong impression.” “You’re doing this to yourself. If only you’d just behave.” “I didn’t change after we met, you did. It’s not my fault you’re not fit for this kind of love.” “I love you more than anyone else ever will. Remember that.” “You don’t really want to leave. I can tell you still care about me.” “When we go out, I want to see a smile on your face the entire time. No excuses.” “They’re lying to you about being your friend. I’m the only one telling you the truth.” “You don’t need them anymore.” “Erase their phone number. Better yet, here, let me do it for you.” “Sometimes I just hate you so much.” “Do you know how easy it would be for me to slit your throat while you’re sleeping? Well,goodnight, love.” “I know everyone in town. I can ask where you’ve been spending your time.” “Who would they believe? You or me?”

[horrificmemes]

Rotten Relationship Sentence Starters

Trigger warning - heavy themes related to emotional abuse, manipulation, and hinted domestic abuse incoming. Note that the mun does not make light of abuse of any sort, but this has been one of the most highly and persistently suggested subjects in the askbox.

“Get out. Your face is making me sick today.” “I’m only with you out of charity, you know that, right?” “Who are you talking to? Let me see the phone number.” “If I ever see them hanging around the house again, you’re not leaving for a week.” “What did you tell them? Were you talking about me? Be honest.” “You know what the punishment is for lying to me, right?” “Go ahead, walk out the door. I’ll make sure your whole family knows you were the one who hurt me.” “That was supposed to be a secret? Whoops. My bad.” “I could leave you any time I want.” “I love you. But that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you like.” “Whoops. Looks like you got broken glass on the floor. Clean that up, will you?” “You don’t need friends, honey. I’m your friend.” “I don’t care if they invited you. Tonight you’re spending time with me. And tomorrow night. And the night after that.” “Call them and tell them you never want to see them again. Do it.” “I’m going out, and I’m locking the house. If I see the rug by the door shifted even the tiniest bit, I’m going to be very cross with you.” “Come on now, stop crying. It makes you look so sloppy.” “What’s wrong with you?” “Yes, great job, you’re fucking up this whole relationship.” “It’s obvious you’re not trying hard enough.” “Give me your phone. I want to see who you’ve been talking to.” “I saw something very suspicious on the security cameras from yesterday.” “You can’t leave me. You know what I’ll do if you try.” “Don’t yell. The neighbors will get the wrong impression.” “You’re doing this to yourself. If only you’d just behave.” “I didn’t change after we met, you did. It’s not my fault you’re not fit for this kind of love.” “I love you more than anyone else ever will. Remember that.” “You don’t really want to leave. I can tell you still care about me.” “When we go out, I want to see a smile on your face the entire time. No excuses.” “They’re lying to you about being your friend. I’m the only one telling you the truth.” “You don’t need them anymore.” “Erase their phone number. Better yet, here, let me do it for you.” “Sometimes I just hate you so much.” “Do you know how easy it would be for me to slit your throat while you’re sleeping? Well,goodnight, love.” “I know everyone in town. I can ask where you’ve been spending your time.” “Who would they believe? You or me?”

[i-am-the-hammer]

[ disagree ]

your muse sternly telling mine  ‘ no ‘ .

“Absolutely NOT!” Magnus exclaimed. It was one thing for Toki to suggest something ridiculous, but to have him included. “Do not involve me in this… what a tea party?”  

[rhythmguitars]

                                 He    flinches    at the taller man’s voice, but subjects him to those    pale puppydog eyes    with a matching downcast expression.        ❝ B-But it ams supposed to be fun, I sets everyt’ings up myselfs and everybodies else already says no….. ❞

[i-am-the-hammer]

He let a groan and shook his head. Is this seriously what his life had lead to? To Tea parties with the man.. no Boy who replaced him? What a fucking drag. 

“Why a tea party in the first place?” He said with a sigh. Taking a moment, he replied once more. “Is everything really set up?”

[freebxllin]

[ scold ]

[ scold ]  your muse scolding mine for something .

Even in the earliest days of Dethklok, Murderface got lectured constantly. Though this was still at a time when people actually gave a shit if his young ass took any kind of hard drugs.

But he was born with rebellion in his veins. No fear in this kid’s heart. Getting caught by Magnus, he looked like a 5-year-old sticking his hands in a cookie jar, except clutching a tiny baggie with little smiling holy wafers of ecstasy in his shaking fist. His romantic Georgian drawl came through his rough, scratchy voice as Magnus thoroughly berated him for his apparent misgivings.

“You guysch do thisch schtuff all’a time. ‘leascht I didn’t schuck cock for it like you an’ Picklesch probably do. Fuckin’ addictsch.”

His argument was weak, but he was sticking with it.

[i-am-the-hammer]

Magnus wasn’t stupid. Sure idiotic at times but not stupid. He had a feeling Murderface wasn’t up to no good and he caught him red-handed. Letting out a sigh, the older man shook his head. 

“Look kid. Whatever the fuck is going on between me and Pickles is our own fucking business got it?! We’re fucking adults! You however are still night and stupidly naive.” He noticed how jittery Murderface was. If he was serious about taking drugs like these then act like a motherfucking man about it. 

“Look at you! Shaking like a fucking leaf. Do you realize once you start these drugs there’s no going back?!”

Fuck he needed a smoke. 

[i-am-the-hammer]

[ disagree ]

your muse sternly telling mine  ‘ no ‘ .

“Absolutely NOT!” Magnus exclaimed. It was one thing for Toki to suggest something ridiculous, but to have him included. “Do not involve me in this… what a tea party?”  

[i-am-the-hammer]

[ lit ] moreso offering a light but !

your muse lighting a cigarette , spliff , etc. for mine .

“I suppose you want a thanks for the lighter.” Magnus covered the end of this cigarette, the flickering catching light. “So here. Thanks” He said handing back the lighter.

[devotedecay]

❥      NON - SEXUAL   ACTS   OF   DOMINANCE . 

feel free to edit or elaborate as you please .   ( add  ‘ reverse ‘  to your message if you’d like to see how my muse would perform the action ) . otherwise , send in one of these for my muse’s reaction to   …

[ lit ]  your muse lighting a cigarette , spliff , etc. for mine . 

[ order ]  your muse ordering for mine at a restaurant or bar .

[ guide ]  your muse putting a hand on mine’s back to lead them .

[ pay ]  your muse paying for mine at a store , bar , restaurant , etc . ( you can specify where or for what . )

[ open ]  your muse opening a door for mine .

[ dry ]  your muse drying mine off with a towel after a shower , bath , swimming , etc . 

[ instruct ]  your muse giving mine instructions / telling them what to do . 

[ groom ]  your muse adjusting mine’s appearance , such as straightening a tie , fixing their hair , or buttoning their shirt for them , etc . 

[ direct ]  your muse taking mine by the chin and telling them to look yours in the eye .

[ disagree ]  your muse sternly telling mine  ‘ no ‘ .

[ rest ]  your muse resting their arm over mine’s shoulder / s .

[ clean ]  your muse cleaning a smudge of something off mine’s cheek , forehead , etc .   feel free to specify what and how . 

[ answer ]  your muse answering a question meant for mine . 

[ coat ]   your muse holds mine’s coat out for them while they put it on .

[ pilot ]  your muse taking mine by the arm , hand , shoulder , etc . to lead them . 

[ stare ]  your muse staring mine down . 

[ placement ]  your muse telling mine to sit down .

[ teach ]  your muse taking control of mine’s hand , arm , hips , etc . to make sure they do something correctly .  

[ patience ]  your muse telling mine to be patient .

[ tears ]  your muse wiping away mine’s tears .

[ swat ]  your muse swatting mine’s hand away from something they’re not supposed to touch .  

[ jewelry  ]  your muse clasping a piece of jewelry for mine , such as a necklace , or earrings . 

[ enough ]  your muse commanding mine to stop talking . 

[ retrieve ]  your muse requesting or ordering mine to retrieve them something .

[ invite ]  your muse inviting mine to sit on their lap .

[ lean ]  your muse inviting mine to lean into their side while they’re sitting or laying together . 

[ calm ]   your muse telling mine to  ‘ just breathe ‘ .

[ scold ]  your muse scolding mine for something .

[ comfort ]  your muse pulling mine into a reassuring hug .

[ approval ]  your muse complimenting mine on a choice they’ve made .

[ beckon ]  your muse beckoning mine to them without speaking . 

[ laces ]  your muse lacing , tying , or zipping something for mine , such as shoes , a dress , or a jacket , etc .

[ stay ]  your muse telling mine to stay in the car . 

[ defend ]  your muse defending mine’s reputation , dignity , or safety for them . 

[ feed ]  your muse feeding mine something , feel free to specify what .

[ volume ]  your muse demanding mine speak louder .

[ read ]  your muse reading something to mine .

[ refill ]  your muse refilling mine’s glass for them . 

[ possessive ]  your muse resting their hand on mine’s leg or the small of their back while they’re sitting beside each other . 

[cabxn]

Your muse breaks into my muses room, what do they find?

send me a ❖ and i’ll generate a number between 1 & 20  to find out

( mixture of angst, nsfw, fluff, etc )

Read More

[i-am-the-hammer]

relationship headcanons!

💕 + a character: Under which circumstance would your muse fall in love with them?

😘 + a character: How could they get your muse to like them more than they already do?

💔 + a character: What must they do to ruin their relationship?

⚡ + a character: How would they get your muse angry at them?

🍃 + a character: What would they have to do to get your muse to be more trusting towards them?

✨ + a character: What must happen for that character to get involved with mine?

[freebxllin]

i-am-the-hammer:

Magnus wasn’t a stupid man. Everyone knows you could look fugly as hell but with the right money any whore can hook up with them. 

“Absolutely not. No free rides from Whores. These have to be actual ladies like you find at Target or some shit place like that.” He thought about it for a second and an idea came to mind.

“And she has to be the one to reply to you first.”

No prostitutes. A fair enough rule, but still frustrating. The add-on, however, made Murderface stop in his fucking tracks.

“You- you mean they gotta talk to me firscht?! Who… who the fuck isch gonna do that?! What if she’sch a murderer or schomethin’?!” 

He knew damn well nobody would talk to his sorry ass, especially not a decent-looking woman just going about her day. Skwisgaar, maybe, but not him! Being famous didn’t save him from succumbing to just… looking terrible.

[i-am-the-hammer]

The older man nodded. “Yup. They gotta talk to you first. I mean... how hard can it be for someone who’s a bassist in Dethklok?”

He knew how to push buttons and he pushed them well. Magnus always liked to plan ahead. So getting him riled up should boost Murderface’s...morale.

“Seriously, do you think Charles would let anyone murder you on his watch?” Magnus rolled his eyes. “Hurry up! Clock is ticking and no girls in sight. I better get a move on if I were you.”