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My name is Ryan (He/Him) transsexual and I Love The Vampire Armand. Formerly @/nightcolorz . I have read every vampire chronicle and I've got Autism so spectrum disorder they put me at level 2

[i-know-the-enddc]

it’s me nightcolor 🤯

hellooo, sorry, i had some clout on my former mostly Armand iwtv/tvc centered tumblr blog that I deleted on an impulsive whim cuz I was like I don’t post I’m too depressed, but oops now I want to post, I have been so incredibly excited about the vampire lestat coming out that I’ve been having medically concerning panic attacks just in pure violent joy because my body can’t tell the difference between the adrenaline rush of seeing Armand and the adrenaline rush of getting chased with a knife. But basically, I need to unleash this energy somewhere, so hi, I’m really sorry I left for no reason. Former oomfs pls follow! But yah. I’ve been seeing my posts on Pinterest lately and getting forlorn.

[i-know-the-enddc]

call me marius the way i’m abouta molest the shit out of you

Mmmmmmmmmmm y-yes Master……we can’t talk here….email me…..

[autarkiia]

Daniel hits a strike at the bowling alley but instead of a weird analogue animation on the tv appearing, everyone disappears like it's the rapture and Armand crawls out from the pinsetter hole, approaches Daniel, grabs him like a bowling ball with his fingers in the old man's holes and starts bowling with him

[i-know-the-enddc]

Nah, it's genuinely m ore interesting to slaughter that shitty family. They got what they fucking deserve. fuck 'em, and fuck book Louis for thinking otherwise.

I don’t have emotional reactions nor any desire to see evil people get what they deserve, I’m coming at this entirely from the perspective of someone who engages with fiction like a microbiologist writing down notes about bacteria. I want to see these characters go in directions that I find the most interesting intellectually, I don’t care for visceral catharsis and I don’t give a shit about villains getting what they deserve. I want complicated emotionally and morally unconventional dynamics that can’t be cleaned up into a cliche, sue me

[i-know-the-enddc]

But you even acknowledge in book canon, Lestat did taunt his dad. Why would it have been more cathartic for you if Lestat had offered forgiveness to a man who didn’t deserve it? Just because you wouldn’t have, doesn’t mean Lestat would or Gabrielle would. Nor should they? It wasn’t earned. Forgiveness comes after changed actions.

I never said that I think lestat should forgive his dad 💀 where’d u even get that from. I said that I dislike the change the show made from the book to have lestat and Gabrielle return to Auvergne and kill his dad and brothers because it doesn’t happen in the book and I personally find it much less interesting then what does. I enjoy changes the show writers make only when I feel that they enhance the material in some way intellectually, but I don’t think this does. It’s a little over the top and it didn’t do it for me. You can feel differently, I don’t care ! 🤷 but I literally said nothing about a desire to see lestat forgive his dad and brothers 😭 this ask is borderline unintelligible, ur addressing an argument that you fully made up inside ur head and attributed to me 💀IDGAF about forgiveness LOL. these aren’t real people, this is not r/relationships. i am talking about writing and characterization. whether or not lestat was justified in killing his dad is 1000% irrelevant to me. I literally could not be fucked about that. I’m not interested at all in seeing these characters be either moral or healthy. I want these characters to be interesting. I think having lestat get revenge on his family is cliche and takes away from something that felt very human to me about him in the book. That’s it! Is it justified and definitely understandable why lestat and Gabrielle would kill their family? Yeah obviously. Do I give a shit? No???

the point wasn’t “lestat should forgive his abusive family because forgiveness is good and noble.” the point was “i think replacing the book’s more complicated emotional dynamic with a cleaner revenge beat is less interesting writing.” those are not the same sentence ! I can’t comprehend why people approach conversations about storytelling like they are conversations about the life events of real people on some sort of fucked up reality show, but it irritates me. Stop being irritating please thanks for the ask

[endiness]

[i-know-the-enddc]

that monologue in tvl ep2 Daniel has about everything going still and him feeling Armand fucked me so bad that I had Lover you should’ve come over Jeff Buckley playing in my fucking dreams last night I WISH i was kidding

[i-know-the-enddc]

WHERE IS ARMAND EVEN

[i-know-the-enddc]

I could be wrong but I think they're going to use Lestat's guilt over what he did to his family -- because we saw the guilt and horror in his eyes when he heard the children's screams, and when he remembered those screams sitting at the piano -- as a contrast to him refusing to seek revenge against Claudia and Louis, whenever the time comes to reveal what all happened there.

Yas I could definitely see this and I really like this theory. I feel a little bad for making judgments about this prematurely when I do get the feeling it’s going to be fleshed out into something genuinely interesting, but I am only human lol. But yeah, I like that. I’m sat regardless

[i-know-the-enddc]

but why did Lestat have to forgive his abuser? why only Lestat? (you don’t have to answer this, but it always sat wrong with me that Louis made him forgive him in the books before he killed him. I don’t know Lestat owed him forgiveness if he didn’t want to give it. no child owes an abusive parent that.)

i agree on the Louis thing, but i also fundamentally don’t think these points are even remotely the same thing 😭 like there is a huge difference between “deciding not to forgive ur childhood abusers” and “going out of ur way to enact brutal revenge on ur childhood abusers” 💀

i don’t have a problem with the choice to have Lestat kill his family because i think he needs to forgive them for what they’ve done to him. he absolutely does not. no child owes an abusive parent forgiveness if they don’t want to give it. my problem is mostly that it contradicts a lot of the really compelling character traits Lestat has in the books, and flattens him in a way i’m not sure i enjoy.

i can’t stand entirely by how i feel about that yet, because i have no idea where they’re going to take this, and they could absolutely do something with it that’s really cool and brilliant. but right now, i just feel like giving Lestat a revenge story flattens a dynamic with his family that, in the books, feels very real and complicated. he hates his family for abusing him, but at the same time he cares for them genuinely and wants the best for them. and that contradiction is the interesting part to me.

it’s a genuinely nuanced conversation about how complicated this can be. it is very common and very normal for people to love their abusers, especially when their abusers are their family. and i’m not saying it is somehow wrong for people not to feel that way, of course it’s not. some people hate their abusers forever. some people feel nothing. some people want revenge. some people just want to be left alone. i don’t care at all about seeing these characters be “good” victims, or morally clean victims, or victims who process abuse in a way that is easy for an audience to approve of.

more so, i think it potentially takes away from something interesting in the books. Lestat’s relationship with his family in the books is compelling to me because it’s ugly and unresolved and contradictory. he knows they hurt him, he resents them, he wants to escape them. and yet there is still this horrible emotional attachment there, this leftover love he can’t just surgically remove from himself because they were cruel to him. that feels very true to how family abuse can work.

so to me, turning that into a revenge arc risks making the whole thing simpler in a way that feels less emotionally interesting. it sort of basks in brutality for no real reason other than a flagellative desire to bask in “cathartic” violence, and to me, that has the opposite effect. In a weird way it almost makes it more clean cut? Less lestat. Meh.

again, maybe they’ll do something with it. maybe the point will be that revenge doesn’t fix anything, or that Lestat is trying to cut out a part of himself and failing, or that this brutality is supposed to feel hollow. if that’s where they’re going, then i could be very into it. but as of right now, meh.

[sugarcarnation]

absolutely insane opening dialogue 10/10 no notes

[i-know-the-enddc]

Louis is not even fucking Dark YAOI enough to comprehend the shit Daniel and Armand are on. Daniel’s like oh yeah you know that relatable moment where sometimes when ur alone the world around u goes still and apocalyptic, like it’s just you and Him, and the air gets heavy like the second before a bomb drops, and you feel that deep terrible dread, that longing, that itch, that horrible pain that lives under your skin every moment ur without him, and you know he feels it too, you know he’s there, and he’s watching, and he’s waiting to cross that ocean, to reach out and break that silence, just one touch, one breath, one impossible second where the whole rotting world snaps back into place because he looked at you, but it’s still - and it’s quiet - and there are things you know are missing, things you can only remember in the dreams you always forget the second you wake up, sweating and aching and teary eyed with no idea why - there’s a hole inside you, a big black void you think might have always been there, and when you look inside yourself and see those orange-red eyes looking back, you think I wanna feel it, I wanna twist it open, I wanna make the absence into something I can touch - if I can’t have you then at least I can have this? You know what I’m sayinf? And Louis just says oh ok. no personally I don’t relate to that I think that’s kind of weird. yeah idk that’s a little weird and strange man but good luck with that. Fuck this show

[i-know-the-enddc]

Pov its 1700s France and you’re at the De Lioncourt dinner table

[i-know-the-enddc]

not happy about the adaptational choice of having Lestat and Gabrielle kill his father and brothers. it seems to do a massive disservice to a really interesting part of Lestat’s character in the books, which is that Book Lestat uses his Magnus acquired fortune to send money to his brothers and their families. he buys gifts for his nieces and nephews and sends them for their birthdays. when he learns that the brothers who beat and tormented him as a child are killed in the revolution, he cries and mourns them. and even as he hates his father, who abused him horribly, he still takes care of him in his old age. he houses him during his last days. he’s miserable about it, but he does it.

Lestat has the capacity for this massive amount of compassion and feeling for the people who have wronged him the most. he sees the souls of the evil doers he drains and kills, and he learns to love them in their final moments. in the same way that he grieves for Magnus, feels for him even after Magnus has done nothing but torture him, he loves his family. or at least he feels for them. he can hate them and pity them and still feel bound to them, which is part of what makes him so interesting and frustrating and sad.

and I don’t find him and Gabrielle killing them cathartic either. it’s so much effort and grotesque cruelty wasted on people that they have only ever wanted to be away from. Gabrielle, maybe I could see her wanting to do this, but even then, in the book she is literally the one who diverts Lestat from his messed up fantasy of going from room to room and slaughtering his father and brothers. she gives him the means of escaping Auvergne and going with Nicki to Paris because she doesn’t want to see him take on the burden of the madness of their family. he doesn’t need to become a cabbage! 😭

I don’t see killing them as cathartic. it’s kind of pathetic and sad, to bother going all the way back to Auvergne to torment these miserable people who are ultimately going to suffer and die in the French Revolution anyway 😭 and maybe that is potentially the point? I could see them exploring the weird tragedy of this decision, because there is something so grotesque about Lestat taking revenge on his blind, dying father, who is so old and ill that he can’t even fully understand why this is happening to him, and leaving the aftermath of that for his innocent nieces and nephews to come home to.

it’s disturbing in a similar way to Lestat taunting and berating his father on his death bed. it’s justified, considering what his father has done to Lestat, but it’s also so so sad. like the opposite of cathartic. this elderly, demented, blind man tormented in his last moments by the son he abused and beat all his life, pleading for forgiveness and denied the resolution that honestly neither of them fully deserve. it’s ugly and tragic and unresolved, not some triumphant revenge fantasy.

so I’m going to try and hold my judgement, again, until I see where this goes, because I do think there is a version of this where the horror and sadness of it is the point. but it does send an unhappy chill down my spine, and I had to address it lol.

[i-know-the-enddc]

my biggest issue with tvl episode 2 is also the thing I am desperately trying to convince myself is intentional, it feels like they are zooming past SO much of Lestat’s backstory, but intuitively and logically I don’t think they are actually done with it. or at least I need to believe that for my own health.

because like. they didn’t really go into the monastery, or the whole witches thing at all, or the full brutality of the wolf scene, and Gabrielle’s turning felt weirdly fast for something that should be huge. Lack of wolf scene is going to be the death of me personally. I wanted that shit BAD.

BUT. I also think the structure of the season is very clearly not trying to be straightforward chronologically. The first episode already established that we are seeing flashes of things before they fully happen, pieces of Lestat’s life out of order, it’s his disjointed internal monologue/diary basically. This is not just “here is Lestat’s backstory in sequence.” The format is Lestat ranting about shit out loud, so it seems it is being paced as such.

There’s also stuff from the trailer that we still haven’t seen yet, including things from earlier in his life chronologically, so I really do think we are going to keep circling back. Especially because the episode doesn’t actually complete this part of his backstory. It cuts off around the scene between him and Gabriella (which, side note, was word for word verbatim from the book, shocked me to my core) in a way that doesn’t seem like we’re just done. The show loves building meaning through pieces that fall into place over time, so this feels more like a structural choice then a leaving-things-out choice to me.

It honestly reminds me of how I felt about the Lestat and Armand stuff in season 2. At the time, some of that felt rushed and underdeveloped and I was sad, but it was clear we were going to get way more of it later. With tvl, we don’t just have five more episodes. We have a whole other season left of this book. So me is thinking/hoping Lestat’s backstory is going to be dropped throughout, in pieces, instead of followed chapter by chapter.

That said, if I am wrong and they actually did just skip over the monastery and the witches places and the full wolf scene, I will be pissed. But I am being patient and deciding that I’m not going to form my judgements until I’ve seen more of what the show has to offer. They’ve surprised me before lol.

Anyway. Hope I am making sense cuz I genuinely am so insane over seeing the vampire Lestat book stuff on my screen that I’ve been having an adrenaline fueled panic attack for like seven hours. Also full Eric Bogosian ass on my screen. Bless

[tarmairons]

idea from dmthinkr on twitter

[sleeplessdreamerart]

"-suddenly everyone around me disappears like the rapture's come... And I... You know.... I feel him."