[propalitet]

“shark infested waters” bro they just live there 

[georgiancraftsman]

If anything they’re human infested waters

[whitepeopletwitter]

[bezakonik-deactivated20210314]

i don't get anon hate simply because everyone loves me and im their favourite. this is true

[sonic06apologist]

Just realized my married friends can never commit the sin of premarital sex again how fucked up is that

[athetos]

Sad! Oh well, there’s other sins.

[sonic06apologist]

Name 5

[athetos]

I can name 7

[cowboycostume]

recently become obsessed with the idea of an alternate history where basically everything is the same but no one ever invented the tire so instead all cars are mounted on wagon wheels

like this.

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[fandom]

This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!

[moist-astronaut]

you're absolutely correct it was

[txttletale]

THE FRENCH????????????????????

[diet-poison]

From the official French Embassy twitter account:

[daddymus-papatron-deactivated20]

#consider using ‘people who suffer from french heritage’#this wording is the most inclusive and acknowledges the struggles that french people face

@shaythoven tags made me loose it

[strawberrylemonadeicee]

I hate periods 😭🥺 all I want rn is to eat in n out, lay down with my heating pad, and play stray 😭😭

[i-like-lefthandedfraternaltwins]

If he steals from the rich why is his name Robin Hood?

[i-like-lefthandedfraternaltwins]

Gonna tell my kids this is Frodo Baggins

[funnytwittertweets]

[idontgettechnology]

Y'know what? Yes. Thank you. I have been trying to find the words for why this phenomenon bothers me.

[supergameboytwo]

LIFE HACK: you can hit a strawberry with a hammer and you won't BELIEVE what happens next!

[supergameboytwo]

you MIGHT BELIEVE what happens next!

[liberalsarecool]

Curriculum is about preparing minds to think and reason, it's not about parental control and subordination. Banning books is small-minded.

[binch-i-might-be]

consuming way too many jellybeans like the sexy sexy bitch I am

[macaron-n-cheese]

I diagnose you with Ronald Reagan /j

[i-like-lefthandedfraternaltwins]

*draco malfoy voice* my therapist will hear about this!

[bastart13]

Mirabel still would have jumped

[sdottkrames]

@thomasjefferson-official I laughed soooo hard please enjoy this as much as I did 😂

[ocdnatural-deactivated20220809]

europe doesn't exist if you don't believe in it btw