Here’s some short poems that have no real sense of continuity. x
I saw a picture of a gecko wearing sunglasses
And a little hat.
Some geckos just want to wear sunglasses
And that’s ok.
Let the geckos do what they want.
They’re not trying to stop you from doing anything.
Some geckos don’t want people to have abortions
And laugh at you for talking to the Moon.
Fuck those geckos.
And their little hats.
“Hey Mr. Gecko how’s your hat gonna stay on
If you spend like 79% of your life upside down
On the ceiling?
Exactly
You don’t know jack.”
————————————————————————————
I’m sorry
I should have gotten milk
And now you’re pouring out your cereal
And there’s no milk
And I don’t have the guts to tell you
So I’m just going to pretend to make toast.
————————————————————————————
Someone once told me that dreams are
Glimpses into our parallel lives in other dimensions.
Last night I dreamt that I had chicken nuggets for hands
So Dustin The Turkey had to roll my rollies for me
And I couldn’t stop apologising.
————————————————————————————
I heard the ocean through a seashell
And it told me to fuck off.
————————————————————————————
One time Michael Collins came over for tea.
I asked;
“Will ye have some tea, Mick?”
He said;
“No! I want a 32 county republic!”
There was an awkward silence while I offered him some
Jasmine and ginger
And tried to remember of I’d invited him over
For political reform or not.
————————————————————————————
The comedian Frankie Boyle has a live stand-up DVD entitled
“If I Could Reach Through The T.V. and Strangle You I Would.”
He pretends this makes him edgy
rather than a philandering psychopath.
Frank Boyle’s hobbies include
Shouting guttural nonsense at ducks,
Punching elderly women in the face,
Writing racist threats in excrement on shop windows,
And urinating on fruit.
Every night Frankie Boyle goes to sleep
And dreams of race wars, human suffering
And urinating on fruit.
He sleeps better than you or I.














