angycatmerlin

[i-write-stuffs]

I just remembered back in like 9th grade my high school's musical was Willy Wonka and the Guy who was playing the Grandpa (i dont remember his name) consumed Bubble soap

Someone from above the stage dropped the cap to a bottle of bubbles and it was very obvious but this Guy doesn't miss a beat, picks it up (off of our verryy dirty stage), and pops it in his mouth.

He spit it out and exclaims "disgusting! What kind of things are you making here, Wonka?! You call that candy!"

At the time it was hilarious and he was my theatrical hero

[i-write-stuffs]

I want a story with a group on a quest and one of them is a traitor and the group prays/asks for help from the *mysterious possible diety* thats helping them and just "please give us a sign!"

And so they find "K I L L I A N" written on a wall,

So naturally they think "Omg! It's Killian! He's the traitor!"

But it actually says "Kill - Ian" because Ian's the traitor

And the Diety or ghost or whatever is like 'shit maybe I shouldn't have written in all caps'

[i-write-stuffs]

I'm at the salon with my grandma and this elderly lady is on her phone... looking through a magnifying glass. And she's wearing glasses😭😂

I want to tell her that she can adjust the size of the text on her phone to be bigger so bad

[anxietyproblem]

[i-write-stuffs]

So I was looking up the lyrics to We Don't Talk About Bruno and--

So I hit translate. It got better

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[i-write-stuffs]

I can never make the bed without Merlin hiding in the sheets😩😂❤❤ Happy New Year to everyone!

[secretdazedragon]

Based on this post

[i-write-stuffs]

I want to feel like a Princess.

I want a dress that flows and swirls behind me as I run down a corridor in an old castle made of stone.

I want to feel the stone and old carpet lining the halls beneath my feet, and the heat of the lit torches on the walls.

I want a pretty tiara resting upon my brow with simple yet expert craftsmanship.

I want my hair loose, long, and untangled flying behind me.

I want to laugh and twirl in the ballroom, with not a care in the world.

I want to feel like a Queen.

I want to wear a gown fit for regency, with a bodice a little snug and the skirt full and taking up as much space in the room as my presence.

I want to walk into the throne room as everyone ceases their idle chatter to stare in awe, wonder, and fear.

I want to sit upon a throne and make choice no one would dare question.

I want an elaborate crown that rests upon my head with delicately twisted gold or silver and precious gems inlaid.

I want to feel like a Fairy.

I want to know the grass beneath my bare feet as I run through a field on a sunny day.

I want to soak in the sun’s heat without burn, and feel the raindrops in a storm without fearing a cold.

I want to love and be loved by the fauna, keeping them safe and happy.

I want a wreath of flowers freshly picked and still sweetly scented circling my head.

Instead I am a modern girl.

I feel and hear the horn of a train passing by.

I feel the soreness in my feet after standing all day at work.

I feel the stress when I near the end of my funds before the next paycheck.

I feel insignificant in a group or crowd.

My clothes are simple and cheap, and not at all gorgeous gowns.

My hair doesn’t cooperate and is normally tangled.

But maybe in my past life, or in the next.

For now, I live these lives in tales weaved by others, reading their words as if they were the air my lungs need to breathe.

[i-write-stuffs]

Due to watching an alarming amount of dr. Pimple Popper, I've decided I'm done with skin and all the gross shiz that's in it so how do I uninstall ?

[i-write-stuffs]

As a poor person working at a nice hotel...

How the fudge does anyone see $500 for a basic hotel room and go "yeah okay I can do that"??

What normal middle class/comfortable class person has that kinda money and where do I get it

[i-write-stuffs]

You shall now all refer to me as a duck.

I am a duck.

Who works at a hotel.

A guest informed me that I could be an Eagle if I had been able to *magically* make an extra room appear for him to look out over the river, but due to my lack of this power, I am a duck.

It is okay. I like ducks.

[i-write-stuffs]

Ambassador Elite Marriott guest: I'm here to check in

Me: Sure, let me see here.... Oh! Looks like you need a feather free room. Let me call my head housekeeper to make sure that's ready for you!

(I could have put him in another room since his isn't marked as cleaned yet, so I call to see if this specific room that was pre-marked for feather free is done yet)

Me: "Ok, it'll be just a few, maybe 5 minutes while she runs up to double check that your room is ready"

Guest: "no, that's ok."

Me: "well do you have an allergy?"

G: "Yeah"

M: "I'd really like to make sure you get your feather free room to prevent an allergic reaction" (tf?)

G: "you guys still have feather products in the rooms?"

M:"yes?" *most hotels have feather pillows*

Eventually guest agrees to wait after insisting a few more times that it's fine and to just put him in the room. (I'm not trying to get a call from the higher ups because their precious ambassador elite had an allergic reaction)

5-7 minutes go by, the bar worker has offered him a drink which he refused, and I get the call that the rooms ready.

Before I can tell him, another guest asks me a question, the guy gets up to leave, I finish with the current guest as the Elite is walking out the door, then the phone rings. So I dont catch him in time

1 hour later

I get a call from Marriott themselves asking about the situation and evidently this guy said he was worried whether or not he would get a room... sir you have a RESERVATION you will HAVE A ROOM

I explain the allergy situation. I move on. This man checks in almost 3 hours later. BUT HE COULDN'T WAIT A FEW MORE MINUTES IN THE LOBBY???

[i-write-stuffs]

Old, sexist, overused: (Female MC) is bullied for some aspect of her looks or personality (glasses, braces, tomboyish, etc.) And the big reveal at the end is her getting a makeover (and suddenly having perfect vision to not need her glasses?) And becoming "pretty"

Fresh, comforting, entertaining: (MC) is bullied for some aspect of their looks/personality and the big ending is an army of the "not pretty/handsome enough" kids overthrowing the school, toppling the societal pressure within the school by becoming the new standard for "cool" kids, while also not degrading anyone for liking to get dolled up and where nice clothes/makeup

[thatsfunnystuff]

Funny Parent Text Fails Here: http://bit.ly/1JNCNek

[i-write-stuffs]

Lol

[srsfunny]

Perfect Response For This Dilemma

[i-write-stuffs]

Perfect p