following the Light.

Stacey. Trying to not just survive, but thrive. “Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” ― John Wesley

[worshipgifs]

[iam-stacey-blog]

Surreal feeling.

I don’t know who even reads tumblr anymore, but I just wanted to take note of what I’m feeling right now.

It feels kind of crazy that a worry I had that lasted this whole past year is gone. For those who didn’t know my persistent struggle this past year, it was low self-worth because I felt like I couldn’t get into graduate school and get a real career. I felt like it was a lost cause getting in, and by being rejected so much by jobs, I felt overall really low. It was a struggle to remember that my significance in this life isn’t by my job, but rather in knowing that Jesus loved me (& you!) so much that He was willing to take on the cross for my sins to be forgiven. It was hard, but I’m glad that at the end of the day, that’s the truth that I came back to. 

As I just saw a “free GRE event” email by kaplan, that’s when the surreal thankfulness comes in. I no longer have to re-consider taking the GRE or look at all these programs’ prerequisites. I honestly don’t feel worthy of getting in, especially because I didn’t pray over it that much since I thought it was a lost cause God didn’t care about, but by a miracle, I got into Claremont Graduate University. Some say, “Why thank God? It’s the application admitting committee you should thank!”. Don’t worry, I thank them too and the mercy they gave me by accepting me, but if God is sovereign as I’ve experienced/learned Him to be, I know He had some influence of that mercy the committee gave me. 

I know new worries will come, like maintaining a 3.0 GPA for 2 years to keep my fellowship and being able to give my all for school & ministry (I really want to love these upcoming freshmen!), but I know God is sovereign and I know I need to do my best. This is all a GIFT that I do not deserve, and I don’t want to give less to God because I may be ‘stressed/busy’ from school.

Please pray for me that I can give my all in school & ministry. I really want to honor God with all that I have. 

Thank you for reading & praying :) 

[niabiaaaaa]

Sometimes “deliver us from evil..” means deliver us from our own heart and its desires.

Lecrae (via teamchrist)

[iam-stacey-blog]

Committments scare me.

Not that long ago, I realized that I am not a committed person. I kind of always knew, but as post-grad life requires constant decision making, it’s ever more clear.

1 Year out of college: I had 2 jobs I quit & one currently deciding to take it or not, I’ve seen my disloyalty and unfaithfulness to God, I keep questioning if I’m going to stay where I am for another year...

I’m currently reading a book called “Just Do Something” and one area that hit me is that I’m the person who wants to keep my options open and I’m so concentrated on making the one, ‘right’ decision. I see the folly in me as I have this mentality. 

Ah, life. 

[iam-stacey-blog]

That moment when you hear a song you find catchy at Starbucks, but you weren’t able to shazaam the song fast enough :( 

I guess I’ll never know what the name of the song is...

[iam-stacey-blog]

One of those (hot) days.

Currently, I’m at a public library in my hometown & trying to reminisce a bit. I tried to sit at the desk where I wrote “I love ____” when I was 9 years old, but I couldn’t find it. 

As I drove to the library, I passed by my middle school and saw little middle schoolers walking the same way I did TEN years ago. Then I was thinking of fond memories when I would hang out with friends in the forest and conversations that made our 15 minute walks longer than it was suppose to be. 

I got to eat with EK earlier today & talk about the present & future as well. 

Man, life goes by too fast and the memories here are too precious. 

[iam-stacey-blog]

Update:

Just wanted to say life has been going!

Though there are moments where I get nostalgic or get unsettled with how post-grad life is so uncertain, I'm brought back again the many blessings I have now & that I have a God beside me to reassure me that all I need to do is just follow Him in this vast, uncertain future. 

[dulect]

(x)

[breezeymama]

Don't trade in your authenticity for approval.

[iam-stacey-blog]

That time when I...

thought I was going to only get 6 hours of sleep because I'm working on my personal statement, but then took a double take at the time.

I TRAVELED BACK IN TIME :D

yay for time change :D

[sweetnovember19]

[iam-stacey-blog]

Well, it actually stopped raining, and I can see the blue sky peaking through now,

but while it lasted it felt nice eating my bacon potato soup with cozy folk music playing in the background. 

Something about a gloomy, rainy morning lightens up my mood, yet also brings a melancholy feel. This weather probably makes me think too much. 

[iam-stacey-blog]

Lesson (still) Learned

There goes another person I may have hurt because I want to seem strong/independent.

Stay humble, guys. 

[mariannapaige]

[sidestepup2thestreets]

Visit Original Link

[breezeymama]

Flaws (Acoustic) || Bastille

[bubblywubblydubbly]

[iam-stacey-blog]

I just want to write something.

I want to update on how life's been, but I can't really explain it. 

Life will always have its ups & downs, so I won't say "LIFE IS 100% GREAT!". 

However, it's overall good. Not that I have more positive than negative in my life (I've had my fair shares recently of hurting and seeing people who mean nothing best for me tear up because of me), but that by the end of all those negatives, I know I'm forgiven, loved, alive, etc. 

Life can be better. I guess i want to make this an encouraging post with whatever you're going through.

I'm not speaking as someone who has life all together and perfect, but as an imperfect human being like you who wants to tell you that there's will be a light that will shine in your darkness.

[ucrdetail]

Credit Instagram @venice_sunsets

[iam-stacey-blog]

It's weird to think I'm not going to be back there as a student. 

But man, what a beautiful picture!