Okay as usual I cannot articulate myself worth shit but I think there is this gap of understanding between the Socially Inept (extreme edition) vs. People With Social Lives in that, so, some of the latter can be genuinely nice and non-malicious, right? The Inept are often weird and awkward and fine, creepy. The friendly ones with social skills may see a 'weird' attempt to engage with them and go 'Uh, this is weird and I don't want to deal with this, I'll just ignore it to be polite' and then when the inept person takes being ignored 'personally' it's chalked up to a sense of entitlement.
Look, I'm not arguing a person 'has' to respond to other people or that it's never 'entitlement' that motivates miserable people who cannot socialise worth shit. I have a really hard time expressing this in a way that makes sense but I think there is this... thing, see, where people who have always had some form of social relationships do not intuitively recognise that a person who has barely ever felt liked or wanted before will often lack the capacity to distinguish being politely ignored and being actively hated.
I've described this before as one of those Peripheral Vision things, like, when people reassure you with 'but people don't actually hate you, you're just harsh on yourself, it's all in your head!' it often ignores what is, to the inept person, a very clear reality, even if they themselves cannot pinpoint it: there is very, very distinct difference between being 'liked' and being actually wanted.
I'm not imploring people to Be More Attentive To Your Local Weirdos per se, I suppose this is more just a vague observation that a lot of people just really do not seem to conceptualise the depth of loneliness, as an actual lived experienced with tangible consequences. Maybe it's because being lonely is embarrassing so most lonely people express their loneliness in honest-to-God ballistic and irrational and even mean-spirited ways but loneliness seems like one of those things that people regard as an abstract 'concept' more than an actual thing that happens even when they're trying to directly acknowledge it.
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