My name is Maximilius

((Disclaimer: this is an RP blog where I'll be playing as my character Maximilius, a cousin to Simon Alkenmayer in the Creature's Cookbook series. All of this is pretend)) Hi! As you can see from the title, I'm Maximilius. I have never met Simon in person... and frankly I'm not sure I'd want to but I'm excited to be here on tumblr. Like Simon, I also have no specific pronouns. Human gender is... weird. And messy. My nickname is Maxie, so feel free to call me that too! I'm not really sure of my age but I think it's 4000... basically I'm really very old. I have memories of what you'd probably call childhood but they're not very clear. Monsters don't really raise their young, you see. It's more "food here" "how kill" and then you're on your own. We really do like having our own separate territories. My own is rather on the small side but I like it that way. I think I ate my first human when I was about 1500. A very brave adventurer wandered into my territory. They smelled like nothing I'd ever known. The knowledge that came with eating human flesh gave me new life. I have been observing humanity from a careful distance ever since. The internet is... weird. but fascinating. I just couldn't resist getting involved. So hi! Welcome! Ask me anything, but please be kind and respectful as the patience of a monster is thin.

[iamacousin]

Hi everyone! I'm Maximilius or Maxie for short! I'm a Cousin of Simon Alkenmayer and this is my blog! I'm brand new and excited to interact on this...I think the word is platform?...

Anyway! You guys should read my bio if you're interested!

[iamacousin]

Max, I fear I have a very odd question for you. I understand you don't live in proximity to humans but have you ever felt targeted by them? Do they ever come after you with pitchforks and such? Our cousin seems to have something of a preoccupation.

Oh dearest no. I have had to be careful when humans have gotten more suspicious of a serial killer or such, but they've never outright targeted or even suspected me. I've found that their natural tendency is to avoid me at all costs, lest I am specifically trying to draw one in for a meal. Perhaps our estranged cousin has a different energy signature that draws and angers humans rather than largely repel and frighten them.

I have found that much of what Simon speaks of as truth of our whole species is in fact actually just his personal experience. I personally would not assume that what is true of me must be true of true of all our species. With how little we interact, I think that would be a dangerous presumption actually, especially for the humans looking for ways to avoid us. If they believe that what Simon says is absolute, they put themselves in danger to those of us who differ from him.

What is your experience, darling cousin? You live much nearer to humans. Have they ever come after you in such ways?

[iamacousin]

((You guys, this is so much fun on multiple levels actually. It's been far too long since I stretched my creative writing side))

[iamacousin]

You know, I truly do not care for Simon very much. We may be Cousins but he is not one I'd like to consider a part of my family. He is, in my eyes, unnecessarily cruel. I'm sure he is aware that you humans require many different...ah.. accommodations (that's the word yes?) For your physical and mental ailments. Much like how we monsters cannot control being what we are and need certain things to navigate the human world (such as veneers or alternative ways of communicating), humans cannot control the things that ail them and need certain things to interact in spaces that are easy for others.

To tell a human who asks for help because long texts are too much for them that they simply cannot be bothered to read is shockingly mean spirited in my eyes. Why not simply offer the help, especially considering this human cares enough to interact with you at all. And to then adjust to say you'll only offer help privately? Well that's utterly confusing to me. Would it not be better and more helpful to make the accommodation public for anyone with a similar ailment? Would it not be exhausting to repeat yourself to every single human who struggles to read long texts? It is... Suspicious to me in how very strange that is.

What strikes me perhaps the most is that my cousin claims to practice kindness. Now, my interactions with humans has been very sparse, so I suppose I could be missing something here, but I cannot see how he is being kind. Wouldn't the kind thing be to provide the accomodation? How is it kind to not only be so dismissive of a person's ailment, but also insult them for struggling? I cannot imagine being so callous to someone who asked for help to interact with me better.

Now more than ever I'm quite sure I do not ever want to meet this Cousin of mine.

TL/DR: I think Simon is cruel and was wrong to dismiss and insult the human who asked him for help with his long posts. I do not like him, do not think he is kind at all, and do not ever want to meet him.

[marcelinealkenmayer-deactivated]

My sentiments exactly.  I do begin to wonder if Simon’s restricted diet is not doing something to his intellectual capacity.

[iamacousin]

That is an interesting speculation, dearest cousin! I think you might be on to something. He does seem quite off mentally, especially as of late. While I do not care for him, I am in truth a bit worried for him, and more than a bit worried for the humans in his territory. It seems he's very close to losing control and going on a rampage... And he has chosen to live so close to the humans.

Perhaps if he dropped his silly moral dilemma and stopped starving himself, he would be able to function on a higher level and do better at practicing kindness.

[iamacousin]

Max! Darling how are you?

Marceline! What a pleasure to meet you! I had seen that you're around but was a bit unsure of how to introduce myself. Living in the woods has my 'people' skills a bit rusty.... Though I suppose it might should be monster skills with the two of us, eh?

I'm doing quite well, thank you for asking. Having internet has been a life changer, friend! Would you believe how vast it is? A tad overwhelming, I must admit, but overall quite fun. And it's led me to meeting you, so this is an amazing night!

[marcelinealkenmayer-deactivated]

I do not blame you.  This website can be quite idiosyncratic.  From my observation the accepted etiquette is simply to barge into another person’s ask box without so much as a by-your-leave!

[iamacousin]

How interesting. I wonder if that is common on other sites as well. I am more than a bit wary of the other....er... Talking media sites. This one is quite complicated enough, thank you.

[iamacousin]

Hello! Just wanted to say I think your name is neat!

Thank you darling! It is stolen from a villager I ate a very long time ago. He told me his name and I thought it sounded wonderful so I took it for my own.

(( Lol this is actually like my go to OC name cause I like it very much))

[iamacousin]

How many humans have you eaten? How do you choose your prey?

To your first question, I have absolutely no idea. I have been eating humans for approximately 2500 years now, I could not possibly keep count. Do you know how many chickens you've eaten? How many pieces of chocolate or how many salads?

((TW for graphic? (Idk what's considered graphic) depictions of violence))

But I can tell you how I choose my prey! I've actually been hoping someone would ask. I used to have to do a lot more hunting of humans than I truly do now. However, you were, in some ways, easier to hunt. After my first human meal, I was hooked for a number of reasons, the most prevalent being the level of intelligence. It was easy to find the then village at the edge of my territory once I knew what humans smelled like. In the beginning I would simply steal humans at random when I needed one. And it was so simple too. With your beliefs in magic and my ability to draw in unsuspecting humans, I'd simply wait near the outskirts of the village. Every time, without fail, one of them would sense the energy I put out and come to investigate. Then I would snap their neck and take them home.

Eventually rumors of a fae in the woods were spread, and they were not quite wrong, but still they came to me. And every so often I would get another adventurer.

As you grew and changed, I had to adapt. The village became a city and taking people without being spotted became much trickier. They got suspicious in new ways as well. There were talks of a "serial killer" and people stopped venturing to the outskirts except in large groups. I'm not quite sure the of the connection, but somehow this led to people of a certain sort moving into those areas. Humans that enjoy hurting other humans (physically, emotionally, financially, etc.) and impoverished humans.

At first I thought to eat the cruelest of your species, but their tendency to work in larger numbers made that too difficult. So I would take from the impoverished, stealing into a house at night to kill one in their sleep and take them home. It is not right or fair, but your authorities didn't care much for them and that made them easy prey.

Nowadays I still will hunt in the poor neighborhoods when it is necessary, but it rarely is anymore. You see, as time went on more and more humans were less and less afraid of venturing into my woods, despite knowing that beasts lurk here. I think it has become a bit of a challenge, to see if you can survive a night or so in this dangerous area. There are.... what's the word... ah yes, "campers" here at least twice a month most of the year.

They tend to be more like the early villagers, really. Less fearful of my energy. They prepare for the bears and other beasts, but are not and cannot be prepared for me. Generally I wait until sunset and then head to their "campsite", about a quarter mile out. Often one of the group, and they do tend to come in groups now, will venture of on their own to explore, relieve themselves, find food, or just be alone for a moment. They follow my pull easily. You are such curious animals, especially the adventuring type. And so they come to me without truly thinking about it. I kill them loudly, imitating animal growls, and leave marks and signs that a beast rather than myself killed them. Specifically, I tear them apart in ways I have seen other creatures do to their prey and be sure to leave parts behind. (For some reason many predators leave something of the corpse).

When they are smart or fearful enough not to venture out on their own, I wait until I can hear that the group has gone to sleep and stage a bear attack. I am never suspected for the adventurers that I kill and I know from the stories they tell around their fires that it is very well known how deadly my territory is, yet they still come.

So.. In essence I chose my human prey based on ease and stirring up the least amount of trouble. It's harder to eat when suspicion is high.

TL/DR: I started with luring in villagers, and then ate the very poor (and sometimes still do), and now mostly eat campers (such a silly word to me, "camping". Adventuring is better.)

[iamacousin]

I think it’s nice that you’re so invested in human social issues and willing to offer accommodations. I’m curious, though — how do you balance a social consciousness with your need to eat human flesh?

Well, I hate to mirror what my Cousin Simon has said, but it is much the same as having compassion for any other animal I eat. No creature deserves to be treated poorly, in my opinion. I eat deer frequently, but I can still see that they are beings worthy of having a good life. When I am not hunting and come across an animal in my territory that is ill or injured I do what I can to help them. I have made splints for many creatures with broken limbs. I have a basic knowledge of medicine and have nursed animals back to health and then released them.

I think, and thanks to the internet I know many of you agree, that the way your food sources are treated is horrendous. Living breathing animals are kept in horrid conditions and killed without an ounce of kindness or respect. I feel for them, yet I do understand your need for mass production of animal products. There are so many of you and you have largely left the life of hunting and gathering. I wish more of the companies that feed you cared about the animals in their possessions, but I will still eat those very same animals.

Humans are a special sort of animal in your capacity to think, talk, and create as you do. Yet, you are still animals. You are still food. To me it isn't contradictory at all to care for you wonderful beings and to eat you. I do hope this makes sense and answers your question properly.

TL/DR: To me it's the same as caring about any other animal I eat.

[iamacousin]

((hang in there, Max-mod! No rush with the replies, I hope your day gets better ))

((thank you darling ❤️ it's been a pretty rough one but I'm doing all the self care and this made me smile ❤️❤️❤️))

[iamacousin]

((Mod here! I'm so fucking excited that more people are interacting with Maxie!! But today so far is a very bad no good awful day so I'll get to y'all when I'm feeling better! Hopefully it'll improve. Fingers crossed))

[iamacousin]

You know, I truly do not care for Simon very much. We may be Cousins but he is not one I'd like to consider a part of my family. He is, in my eyes, unnecessarily cruel. I'm sure he is aware that you humans require many different...ah.. accommodations (that's the word yes?) For your physical and mental ailments. Much like how we monsters cannot control being what we are and need certain things to navigate the human world (such as veneers or alternative ways of communicating), humans cannot control the things that ail them and need certain things to interact in spaces that are easy for others.

To tell a human who asks for help because long texts are too much for them that they simply cannot be bothered to read is shockingly mean spirited in my eyes. Why not simply offer the help, especially considering this human cares enough to interact with you at all. And to then adjust to say you'll only offer help privately? Well that's utterly confusing to me. Would it not be better and more helpful to make the accommodation public for anyone with a similar ailment? Would it not be exhausting to repeat yourself to every single human who struggles to read long texts? It is... Suspicious to me in how very strange that is.

What strikes me perhaps the most is that my cousin claims to practice kindness. Now, my interactions with humans has been very sparse, so I suppose I could be missing something here, but I cannot see how he is being kind. Wouldn't the kind thing be to provide the accomodation? How is it kind to not only be so dismissive of a person's ailment, but also insult them for struggling? I cannot imagine being so callous to someone who asked for help to interact with me better.

Now more than ever I'm quite sure I do not ever want to meet this Cousin of mine.

TL/DR: I think Simon is cruel and was wrong to dismiss and insult the human who asked him for help with his long posts. I do not like him, do not think he is kind at all, and do not ever want to meet him.

[iamacousin]

Max! Darling how are you?

Marceline! What a pleasure to meet you! I had seen that you're around but was a bit unsure of how to introduce myself. Living in the woods has my 'people' skills a bit rusty.... Though I suppose it might should be monster skills with the two of us, eh?

I'm doing quite well, thank you for asking. Having internet has been a life changer, friend! Would you believe how vast it is? A tad overwhelming, I must admit, but overall quite fun. And it's led me to meeting you, so this is an amazing night!

[iamacousin]

((Mod here! I wanted to mention that interacting with Maxie is through the askbox/reblogging/replies only. I have no desire to have long in character conversations. But I'd be happy to get to know you as myself if you do feel the need to dm me!))

[iamacousin]

An interesting fact about my life:

I once shot a bear and ate it. And yes, you read that right, I shot it. With a gun. A long range shot gun actually. You might ask "Now Maximilius, what the hell does a monster need a GUN for?"

Well guys I'm only one monster and I live deep in the woods of my territory (getting internet here was a nightmare). A lot of animals of varying levels of danger live nearby. They're my main food source, except for...you know. Bears are one of these. I'm quite strong and my senses are great, but uh. Bears are bears. What else needs to be said? I simply cannot fight everything. That makes defense a necessity.

I'm a survivalist at heart. I know that there are things (bears) that could obliterate me. I've been taking your defense weapons since you started creating them. My first was from the brave adventurer, my first human meal. They had a hand carved knife that showed... Something so special to humans that I didn't understand at the time. (It was art. You make such lovely things). But I could recognize that it would be a useful tool so I kept it.

Guns were a most wonderful invention, though I was of course confused when I first encountered one up close. I'd hidden in the shadows at the edge of my territory where a small village (now an annoying but sometimes necessary small city) was and watched the humane hunt with these new toys. It seemed easy enough. I stole one assuming that it would be like clicking a button. But then there were so many different parts and steps! Who knew that you had to get bullets and load them? I assumed they were a part of the gun with a never ending supply (imagine my disappointment)

Ah, but back to the bear. Sorry, I might have gotten a bit off track. Most of the time bears and I keep a respectful distance from each other. They don't like the energy I put off and I'm a bit terrified of them. But one day one decided to come sniffing closer to my house. I happened to be out collecting rabbits, gun slung over my shoulder for safety as always, for a stew. I looked up. We noticed each other at the same time, I think, or at least that's how it felt when we locked eyes. The bear recognized me as a threat and moved to attack. I shot it and then ate it in several delicious meals.

TL/DR: I collected weapons from humans starting early, keep guns for defense, and shot then ate a bear that got too close and moved to attack me

((mod note: I don't actually know anything about guns so if it's wildly inaccurate... Shoot me))