these two words have been flooding the internet. “me too.” and still I have yet to post my own response. I think I am much more ashamed of my sexual history than I am willing to admit to myself. I am terrified of the skeletons in my closet. what opening up one memory might do to the other ones buried in the basement of my mind. I would say that it is shocking to see how many womxn posted “me too” but I did not bat an eye. I would expect every single womxn I have ever encountered to utter these words. womxn are in constant danger. no I am not being dramatic and no it is not just in one corner of the world. womxn are in danger everywhere, all the time. safety is something often taken for granted. safety is never guaranteed being a womxn today. to this day, rape is used as a systematic tactic of war in multiple countries around the world. sex slavery is everywhere EVERYWHERE. womxn and girls (especially girls) are being trafficked now as I type this. it is so overwhelming sometimes to even wake up in the morning. to get out of bed, with this knowing. this knowing that constantly sticks to the roof of my mouth, the back of my throat, the bottom of my feet as I walk in my comfortably soled shoes. it is easy to belittle ourselves, when our experiences don’t seem as significant or important or dire as others. it’s easy to brush our experiences under the rug to make room for someone else’s. when I was working in womxn shelters in my teenage years, working to end violence against womxn and constantly trying to figure out how I could best lend my hands and my mind, body, spirit to the work, I tried to just listen. then, listening to me meant that I had to silence my own thoughts and feelings in order to make space for the more important feelings of others. this is a dangerous way to live. now, all of the years of shame and of pushing my own needs to the bottom of my list is back to haunt me. the truth is, there is enough room on this earth, in this universe to hold all of our stories, our experiences, our trauma, our grief, both collective and individual. creating and finding and sustaining community is extremely important in this journey called life. being true to yourself, and making sure that you value yourself is also essential. this does not mean that you put yourself above others, this does not mean that you do not take the time to explore any and all privileges you may have, to understand your role in this patriarchal culture and how you may personally perpetuate it. I am simply saying that in the process of holding space for others do not ignore or neglect your own needs, your own memories, trauma, experiences. our differences make us beautiful and so do our similarities. standing in solidarity, even in this dark situation of having to uncover old scars or fresh wounds, is healing. finding common ground, in other womxn especially, is healing. it’s progress, it’s forward motion. I’m not sure why I am so ashamed to unpack these memories of many “me too” instances, but I am. and guess what, that’s okay !!!!!!! it’s okay to go at your own pace, to heal at your own rate. just knowing that there is a loving community of womxn with a diverse array of experiences from that same gut clenching shameful place is enough for me. in my life and career, I want to create safe space for people to be themselves, to come as they are and share their stories. all I can personally do is share my own story, in hopes that sharing my experiences make others feel safe to do so as well.
***it is also extremely important to note that the #metoo movement, while still relevant today is NOT new. it was started years ago by a black womxn named Tarana Burke. as I said earlier, exploring and understanding your privilege(s) and your role in this current social climate is essential to the growth of us as a people, as womxn. internationality (another phrase/movement created by a black womxn: Kimberlé Crenshaw) is at at the forefront of this movement. learn, ask questions, self-educate so you can understand where you fit and where you are needed and know when to share, and when to listen.
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
dededos
andulkaphoto
