And just like that we are engaged. I can’t wait to be his wife. I have found the one whom my soul loves
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Keni

if i look back, i am lost

JVL
hello vonnie
Peter Solarz
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Andulka
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
NASA

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KIROKAZE
DEAR READER
untitled

blake kathryn
art blog(derogatory)
sheepfilms

★
Stranger Things
Cosmic Funnies
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@iammumofone
And just like that we are engaged. I can’t wait to be his wife. I have found the one whom my soul loves
Proverbs 31:25
I can't wait to be Brendans wife
Uni
Before my hips and back decided I could no longer do anything.. I was doing really well in uni. Yes it's only a pathway program run by the uni to get into the course I want to next year but still- I haven't studied in over 12 years. I am averaging 97.5% in nursing and 77.5% in maths. I am devastated by what is happening to me though as it will probably affect my grades- I've tried so hard and now I don't know what to do
So it turns out I have a twisted pelvis. Probably caused by my pregnancy 8years ago but something has flared it up and it is causing crazy amounts of pain and my whole back is now inflamed and in a spasm. I have never been in so much pain. Why did this have to happen now? I have a couple more weeks of uni and I can't even sit, I have had the past 3 weeks off and now I have to return for exams and I don't know if I am ready because I find it hard to find a position I can study in.
Things I have realised
People don't like sad people.. or people going through grief- it makes them feel uncomfortable, they don't know what to say or do. So I have learnt to hide my sadness, to hide my grief.
So this happened recently. I can't believe I am going to start uni soon. •Science for nursing and midwifery (main choice, I can't wait to start) •Introduction to mathematics (not looking forward to this subject, anyone want to tutor me online) Send me good vibes or advice.. I am going to need it.
Book of the day: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
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A Grief Observed C.S Lewis
"Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off it is quite another. After that operation either the wounded stump heals or the man dies. If it heals, the fierce, continuous pain will stop. Presently he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg. He has ‘got over it.’ But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones; and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will all be different. His whole way of life will be changed. All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off. Duties too. At present I am learning to get about on crutches. Perhaps I shall presently be given a wooden leg. But I shall never be a biped again." "Did you ever know, dear, how much you took away with you when you left? You have stripped me even of my past, even of the things we never shared. I was wrong to say the stump was recovering from the pain of the amputation. I was deceived because it has so many ways to hurt me that I discover them only one by one." "For in grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it? How often—will it be for always?—how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, ‘I never realized my loss till this moment’? The same leg is cut off time after time. The first plunge of the knife into the flesh is felt again and again."
clean slate.
Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.
C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed (via enchanteddespitetransparency)
C.S. Lewis
You can’t see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears.
A Grief Observed (via cslewisthoughts)
For in grief nothing “stays put.” One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it? How often – will it be for always? – how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, “I never realized my loss till this moment”? The same leg is cut off time after time.
A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis (via alighthouseofwords)