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Why is it that I feel suicidal once a month. I always end up back here no matter how amazing things are going. Or what I have in the works. Sure the unknown is scary. But everyone has the answers yet nothing works.

God

Mental heath

Fitness

Clean your room

Money

Working balance

I have tired so many things yet I still feel like this at 1am. I'm still fighting for my life. I just stopped telling people about it. The day I loose this fight maybe people will understand how hard I was fighting. Fighting for them. Because suicide is selfish... yet isn't it selfish I struggle every day of my life.

The Roller Coaster i am on. I am so frustrated with myself that I can’t push myself harder, I have the mental capacity I know I do. I have made it through every battle I have ever faced this is no different. It has knocked me on my ass and I get up start to find my fight and then I am back in a panic attack! I feel like I am loosing my dad all over again. The things you take for granted it is so painful! Everything hurts. I shake it off and keep pushing through until the next one! but holy shit am I exhausted. somehow I will make it through this

1. Christmas Family Tree Time! 2. Ivy Bear Time 3. My AGC Network 4. The most supportive amazing boyfriend in the world 5. Matt and Mikes Friendship 6. Amazing Clients 7. My Perserverance

This week has been a rough week. I won’t take the time to wright out exactly why because that will only fill my headspace with the negative. I want the positive. I know I can do this. I am doing great! If anyone can rebuild everything it’s me! This is going to 10x my business! This sucks right but growth is coming. I will be okay. I will get through this. I am going to challenge myself to learn to network in new ways. Build my network bigger and better then before! I can do this! I have to keep telling myself that! I keep leaning on outside sources to make me feel better or to tell me everything is going to be ok, I need to keep encouraging myself constantly. I can do this!

a part of me is missing

When I sit here alone at night a feel lost, I feel numb, Tears fill my eyes. When I wake up I think about how much I wish I was waking up to giggles. I want someone to be the reason I stay in bed! I liked life alot more when I worked 24/7 and I never had time for dating. Everyone keeps telling me I have to love myself first. Become the women that would attract a man you want to find I cant think about anything else. All day all night

Fuck yes!

How to clear negative head space.....

1. Body ✔️ -what do I need? Make it happen

2. Self care - what ever that may be.

3. Mind set- take care of the shit that is bogging you down so you can fix your mind set. Set your mind to positive and except nothing less

What is my definition of sucess???

I am breaking generational gaps. So I have never seen success. I am the most success person in my family at 30 years old. So I 100% don't know what I'm working towards

Unstoppable Ari

6 figures

Large network of like minded people

Family Tribe

New car

Big house I want to be in, host in,

I want to be a cheerleader

Day one of week 1

July 12, 2021 Today at sunset, I will go for a walk.

It's super convenient....

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMebeCwJJ/

This is how I just found out my daughter cut her hair!

:( I 100% hate this!

How stuck do you have to be before you shit or get off the pot?

Oh yes because there is nothing more important then your social media presence.

DAMN FUCKING RIGHT!

I can't wait until 4.8!

Your words hurt

"Just another picture of some groupy you fucked"

1. I don't deserve to be talk to like that

2. I don't deserve to be thought of like that

3. I don't deserve to be treated like that

4. Your words hurt

5. You need to treat me like a queen 👸 and delete this negative shit from your head. Because that's not fucking fair to me.

Maybe it is best that you go home for a few days this week... because 1. I want

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Welcome to my Journey