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@iamshaj
Seasons
Last summer I watched the trees outside my window trimmed off their lush arms.I mirrored my sorrow for weeks in the nightingale’s lament;watched the crows look for lost comfort helplessly on its naked branches. Following spring, a neighbourhood cat I enjoy observing in my free timekills the injured nightingale. As she moans her last breathcrows circle the air in agony and defiance;it didn’t…
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To whom it may concern
To whom it may concern
I don’t know who needs to hear this. But even if there is one person amongst you who is struggling with their identity post harassment/ assault/rape or any traumatic incident at any given point in your life, I write this for you. I write to tell you why your existence makes all the difference in the world that we are living in today.
During a discussion with a friend yesterday, she pointed out…
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A message from the past
A message from the past
I had to step out to go to work, but I was delaying it. It wasn’t intentional. I could see the time on my watch. I was already 10 minutes late. I dragged myself out of my chair. The heavy pit in my stomach wasn’t allowing me much movement, but I managed to apply sunscreen, kohl under my eyes, opened my hair and knotted it back into a tighter bun. Satisfied that I looked cleaner, I moved forward…
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An alchemy of self love
An alchemy of self love
Let hate be that poison this body immediately rejects
Learn to love yourself so fiercely that on the parting of your lips it loses all its venom and on reaching your tongue it melts into the sweetest song..
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Overcoming anxiety, bit.. by bit..
Overcoming anxiety, bit.. by bit..
It is 4 o clock in the afternoon and I am reading a book while lounging in my comfortable chair from where I can witness the long green leaves of the trees chilling outside my window. A dream catcher that a friend gifted me earlier this week flutters soundlessly on the railing. I had never noticed how the purple streaks against the white feather made it look so beautiful while swaying with the…
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Merak
On a beautiful afternoon as you and me watch the winter leaves shed from my kitchen window, we talk about the last time you were here. Many years ago it must have been summer for the leaves were so bright green.
On this beautiful afternoon as you stir coffee in its cup the sweet smell of nostalgia reminding us of what we are made of; the music of silence touch the unexplored territory of our nerves, as we…
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Friendship
I say Thank you To the friends who have been And to the friends who have not
I say Thank you For the tests of time The organic way of sieving out life
I say Thank you To the friends who hold my spine when I fall down
And I say Thank you to the friends who are not for teaching me that words mean nothing when actions aren’t carried out
Thank you for those who made me doubt the choices of friends I…
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About work
I can’t wait to get back to it. The tapping of the keyboard The clicking of the mouse. The anticipation of obstacles The excitement of problems to be solved.
I can’t wait to get back to it. To tiring nights and hopeful mornings. The pay check made of fresh paper smelling of my hard work, tasting of priceless learnings.
I can’t wait to get back to it. The bittersweet ache of exhaustion & tired eyes The…
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dor
11th day is the day that they say you will finally leave. In body and in spirit. That you will be gone one last time. . . . But where will you go papa?
Your blood runs through mine Your heart still beats when I close my eyes.
There you are, on the cement staircase watching me as I take a walk.
On the balcony silently cradling on the swing, hoping that I will come and sit beside you.
On the bed, lying so…
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Saudade
I freed myself from you tonight From the cycle of bitter sweet aches And roller coaster rides It was rather unusual – Our ending. No shatter No sound of hearts breaking or tearless yelling And just like that I freed myself from you tonight.
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A letter to an anxious self
A letter to an anxious self
Dear love,
First of all. It is okay.
You have been here before and you have gotten better, haven’t you? So, take deep breaths and remember the following lessons you have taught yourself over this difficult period –
These are just thoughts : Anxieties stem from negative thoughts.
Thin slices of anxiety – Observations and advice to ease a worried mind
But remember that thoughts are just thoughts and…
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Heart
After the bleeding stops, and the tears of blood dries upon my heart. I hope the shell I make for my open wounds is carefully carved. For too soft, trespassers shall insolently pass. Too hard, and I might forget the beauty of this beating heart..
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Will never be the same again..
Will never be the same again..
I will never be the same again.
My bones turned to ashes with the fire you set alight My body slumped tasting nothing like the sweetness of our nights My eyes, dark and cold Not turned to coal, Rather a damp, deep pit you dug inside
I will never be the same again
For when the fire rekindles, long after the embers of our love burns out. When the smile from the heart, reaches the eyes and dazzles fo…
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That high school wala love :)
That high school wala love :)
Hey love I love you I think about you all day And when the night comes I crave for your touch When your there I forget the world I care not what people think I care not what they have to say When you are there I am more than myself I am everything I could not be When you are there.. Everything seems right Even the wrong makes sense Every second without you I live in pain Your my drug honey My…
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Song for a rainy day
Song for a rainy day
Just for a little while longer On a wooden porch and blue skies above. I will hum a tune and think of you..
Just for a little while longer as the crashing waves play my base and the pitter patter my strings I will weave some words Just so, I can think of you.
For you see, the gloomy clouds ain’t far away and the evening light’s about to fade. So, that’s all I have. A little while longer before…
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An ode
Of all the pain this heart has felt. It is you, that hurts the most. My fingers falter. Words stop at my throat. An involuntary sensation grips me.
I have a blood clot in my heart you see. The blood that rushed for you.
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Words.
I no more define myself as a girl with words. Rather, I now define myself, to be a woman with none. Tonight, as I struggle to pen down this deep anxiety. This pain unfulfilled. This insecurity, of what I used to be and what I see myself becoming.. I find myself, looking.. for words.
Words. That were once my only friends. Words, that understood the turmoil of my heart. On a lonely night, with only…
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