if i look back, i am lost
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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@iamsharkboy
Episode 18: Fuck the Fascists
“I am Lava Girl! Fret not, fascist scum! My powers over literal lava will end you quickly and mercifully!”
“I am Shark Boy!” (Shark Boy walks at a leisurely pace with a small but noticeable grin. His smile widens revealing every one of his dagger sharp incisors. The whites of his eyes vanish behind pure blackness of a great white of the deep). “Run.”
Episode 17
I am Lava Girl! My powers roast all people around me, trapping me in endless lonesomness.
I am Shark Boy! I like SWIMMING!
Episode 16
“I’m Lava Girl! I can melt the steel bars of any jail used by the United States Government to wrongfully detain people!”
“I’m Shark Boy! Fuck the ICE!”
Episode 15
“I’m Lava girl! Shark boy... would you ever die for me?”
“My powers are a joke and I crave death every night! Lava girl, I would live for you.”
Episode 14
“I’m Lava Girl! I long for the day life ends and molten rock devours the surface once more, and I become a formless goddess of heat and entropy!”
“I’m Shark Boy! I free the sharks from Zoos!”
Episode 13
“I’m Lava Girl! You know that thing? Where lava stays underground and isn’t on the surface of the earth burning absolutely everything within a hundred miles? I can make that NOT be a thing with the snap of a finger!”
“I’m Shark Boy! I have TEETH!”
I don’t want this blog to be dead. Just can’t think of any more Shark Boy jokes
Episode 12
“I’m Lava Girl! I’m currently using my lava powers to provide scientists with precious data!”
“And I’m Sharkboy! Hey Lava girl.”
“Sharkboy? You’re the scientist collecting this data?”
“Sure. I wasn’t really busy with the whole superhero business so I became an engineer. You know. Because my powers are literally biting people and having sandpapery skin.”
“Oh. Looks like you’re doing well for yourself.”
Episode 11
“I’m Shark Boy! No one can outswim me! Except perhaps several types of fish.”
“I’m Lava Girl! When I sneeze it destroys islands and creates Tsunamis!”
Episode 10
“I am Lava Girl! I’m literally saving the country from an exploding volcano right now! Gods I’m amazing!”
“I’m Shark Boy! I have a shark’s sense over electrolysis to find people’s missing cell phones! It really impresses my girlfriend.”
“Oh... You have a girlfriend?”
“Yeah we met in my engineering lecture. She’s so sweet, you have to meet her someday.”
“Cool cool.”
Episode 9
“I’m Lava Girl! Uh oh! Looks like a God-like demon is creating a tornado! I, Lava Girl, shall use my lava powers to defeat the creature and save the day!”
“I’m Shark Boy! I’ll try my best to defeat the demon too with my Shark Powers!”
“Nah, it’s cool shark boy. You stay put, I’ll be right back.”
“God I love you.”
Episode 8
“I’m Lava Girl! If I pluck a hair from my head I can use it as a super deadly projectile! I once melted through a steel door with a L’Oreal head spin!”
“I’m Shark Boy! I can swim very very fast!”
Episode 7
“I’m Lava Girl! I’ll never stop fighting crime with my LAVA powers! The government has asked me to help prevent natural disasters using my control over plate tectonics! Will do, Mr. President!
“I’m Shark Boy! I’ll never stop helping people with my shark-y-ness! What’s that, Ms. Lane from across the street? You need me to open a can of beans with my SHARK teeth? Will do, Ms. Lane!”
Episode 6
“I’m Lava Girl! I’m going to use my magma body to walk through a military battlefield unopposed and unhurt and end a war!”
“I’m Shark Boy! I’m going back to college to get my degree in engineering!”
Episode 5
“I’m Lava Girl! If I weren’t a hero I would be able to take over the entire world with my lava powers! I can destroy whole islands, manipulate plate tectonics, and put the fear of God into any man!”
“I’m Shark Boy! My sharp teeth negate the need for can openers when I eat soup!”
Episode 4
“I’m Shark Boy! My weaknesses are being out of the water for too long, bullets, and harpoon guns! Life is hard when you’re a shark-based super hero, but I persevere!”
“I can manipulate plate tectonics!”Â
Episode 3
“I’m Shark Boy! I’ll stop those terrorists by listening to the police and helping out whenever I can with my SHARK POWERS!”
“And I’m Lava Girl! I’ll stop those terrorists by melting the entire building with my lava powers and maybe launching a huge melting glob of molten rock at them! It’s not so hard seeing as I can manipulate plate tectonics!”