If i weren't such a coward I'd be dead by now

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If i weren't such a coward I'd be dead by now
I may not be here for much longer. Please know that I tried.
I finally stopped lying to myself; I'm unlovable. I'm the reason why everyone leaves.
"Just be yourself!" no thanks, look where that got me.
Dear diary...
I think none of this has a purpose.
I will forever feel hurt, scared and overwhelmed. And maybe it's just because it's part of who I am.
It feels like I just suffer because I have to...
my body is not a temple, it is at best a haunted mansion in the woods with a horrifying past.
I want to kill myself but i am afraid I will Wake up
I just want to give up I’m tired from the bottom of my fucking soul like I don’t want to do this shit anymore like let me rest please I’ve had enough
A life spent thinking about death.
watching yourself spiral into a mental breakdown while knowing you can't stop it is a different kind of heartbreak
you know the thoughts are winning when you log back onto tumblr
I feel like I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve to eat, sleep, be kind to myself, to be loved, and I especially don't feel like I deserve to live.
naps hit different when ur using them to avoid being alive
the devil couldn’t reach me so he made me feel like i dont belong anywhere.