i tried to be good

am i no good?

[echoesofsaturn]

somewhere between idgaf and vomiting from anxiety

[icarusfallsblog]

continuing to live in the house you grew up in when youre an adult is not for the weak i almost killed myself

[icarusfallsblog]

im going to ruin everything on purpose im not going to take my meds im not gonna go to sleep im not gonna take care of myself im gonna do everything i can to destroy myself i dont care i dont care im going to destroy everything i am theres no purpose in my life and in my being

[icarusfallsblog]

okay i cut myself so im done freaking out now but i did take my meds and i will sleep

[icarusfallsblog]

i hate this house i hate this place i hate everything that happened here i hate that everyone pretends that everything is okay and that nothing bad ever happened here this house is a rotting corpse this house is infecting my bones with a sickness i cant escape

[icarusfallsblog]

theres something so fucking wrong with me

[icarusfallsblog]

im going to ruin everything on purpose im not going to take my meds im not gonna go to sleep im not gonna take care of myself im gonna do everything i can to destroy myself i dont care i dont care im going to destroy everything i am theres no purpose in my life and in my being

[icarusfallsblog]

my family continuously decides to move my meds without telling me and now i found them genuinely fucking hidden in a basket covered in random fucking shit wow wow wow i love it here i fucking love it here im so glad my family cares about my wellbeing.

[cannagracie]

up at 1 AM inventing new ways to want and want and want and want and

[icarusfallsblog]

its the same damn thing every day of my fucking life the cycle repeats and repeats over and over im like a snake devouring my own tail

[echoesofsaturn]

as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

[icarusfallsblog]

shout out to my parents for giving me this fucking disorder and ruining my life thanks guys couldnt have done it without you

[icarusfallsblog]

i love having borderline personality disorder this is soooo fun this is great i love when tiny inconsequential things that dont matter at all ruin my entire fucking day and make me wanna kill myself

[icarusfallsblog]

“it gets better!” not really but i love the enthusiasm

[icarusfallsblog]

sure you love me but you dont like me and you never did

[icarusfallsblog]

growing up with neglectful parents will make you tell stories about your childhood when youre an adult and your parents pipe up with “i dont remember that” yeah no shit

[icarusfallsblog]

growing up with a religious mother means any time you tell her about your struggles she says god loves you and has a plan for you and all you want her to say is that she loves you

[icarusfallsblog]

the things that are wrong with me will never go away